Only In Dreams
by DreamWeaver02
Summary: Every fan has thought about getting thrown into the GW universe. But let me tell you, it's not as amazing as you think. You lose everything, your friends, family... and everything you thought you knew is wrong. So, what if you can't get home?
1. What the hell is going on?

**Author's Note: **I just want to state really quick that this isn't a Mary Sue, as some may believe. I've always liked the idea of a fan girl being thrown into GW land, but I've just recently gotten around to finally writing a fanfic based on this idea. I've never been that interested in Mary Sues because it's like reading someone else's fantasy, which is why this isn't a Mary Sue for me. If I detach myself from the Mary Sue idea, then it can be written more realistically, instead of more like a personal fantasy. **Keep in mind this is just my opinion, I'm not trying to knock down anyone's writing or taste in fanfics. I am strictly speaking for myself. **I just want everyone to understand that this isn't my own desiring that is being written into this, okay? Okay, good! If you want to view it as a Mary Sue, there's no stopping you, and I don't mind either way. I will be happy no matter what just so long as people enjoy my fanfic.

Let's see… what else am I forgetting…? Oh yeah! Here we go:

**Disclaimer:** All things mentioned herein that have a copyright on them are obviously not owned by me, with the exception of everything herein. No, really. Don't sue me. There's no real point.

Eh, good enough… And now, on with the fanfic! I hope you enjoy it, and please R&R.

**Only In Dreams**

**Chapter 1: What the hell is going on?**

I'm aware that you don't know who I am, so let me start out with this little piece of info: My name is Lynn, and there's nothing peculiar about me, except for my sense of humor and random antics with my friends. I'm artsy, I'm funny (or so my friends think), and I'm a B average student who just graduated from a crappy high school in good ol' smoggy, sunny, LA California. I'm also usually a person that can entertain myself really well. Only now was not one of those times. I was sitting in my bedroom by myself on my twin bed that has always felt too small for me, bored out of my poor pitiful mind. There were things I could do, of course. Doesn't mean that I wanted to do them. I continually looked around my room looking for something to spark my interest, yet to no avail. Yet for some reason I'd look around again two seconds later, like an Alzheimer's patient. This is a process I have caught myself doing many-a-time, such as looking in my refrigerator for food. There's a voice that pops into my head and says, "Maybe if you go look again something new will magically appear…" and for some reason my poor brain falls for it every time. When will I ever learn…?

I think why I can't find anything to do is because I'm too anxious that school is starting tomorrow. But this isn't just any school, oh no. This is college. A junior college, big whoop, but college nonetheless. I had the feeling of a fresh new start, free of the idiots from high school. _They_ were going to go the small college right next to my high school, whereas my choice of education was much farther away. Intentionally. I graduated for a reason.

So instead of doing something useful with my time, I sat there and gazed over all of the posters in my room while I stuffed my mouth with cookies. Possibly old cookies, I wasn't exactly sure how long they'd been floating around my apartment, but they tasted good so I didn't care.

Ever feel like you don't have enough wall space? That's me. I have posters on my wall from top to bottom of nearly everything. Fantasy art, scenery clippings from magazines like National Geographic, puzzles that I've glued together and nailed to the walls… but most of all anime.

Yes, anime. Which makes me a dork, but that's nothing unusual and I hold the title with pride. I made note to myself to take down my old DBZ poster, my Sailor Moon posters, and my Macross/Robotech wall scroll that I have long-since grown out of (before the time of my Sailor Moon obsession, which was a LONG time ago.) I needed to make room for more important things.

Like Gundam Wing. Ah, yes… that blessed anime of the 5 hot guys that are all mentally imbalanced, which is understandable considering they're teenagers wielding huge weapons of mass destruction. I love that show. While the storyline is somewhat interesting, I have to admit that it's the characters that I have taken a fancy to. What can I say? I have been trapped watching the dubbed versions of Gundam Wing on cartoon network… where it has been butchered and raped sadistically by the editing and dubbing companies, to the point of almost poor quality… I believe Relena's voice actor is a prime example of this… Or even worse: Septum's voice. It sends cold chills down my spine just thinking about it. Thank God he was only around for an episode or two. Still, for some reason, there was free space in my little anime-filled heart, and Gundam found a nice cozy little spot there and just snuggled down and refuses to budge…

That's why there's a Gundam Wing poster right above my bed. But alas, one poster isn't enough for the awesomeness that is Gundam Wing. Not to mention Sailor Moon and DragonballZ aren't exactly the topnotch quality animes (despite their popularity…)

I also think this would be a good time to add that I'm one of those really imaginative people. So when I'm actually bored (which doesn't happen that often), my imagination runs away with me. And it usually runs away into whatever new hip anime I happen to be into. What can I say? It just seems so much more appealing than life in the real world where you have to deal with stupid people and drama and school and family… I'd much rather dream about being the 'damsel in distress' in a war-riddled world, being saved by the hot anime hero of my dreams… quite the opposite of my real tomboy-self, let me tell you. Not that I'm completely serious about this, either… being surrounded by war isn't exactly on my top ten goals in my life. Instead, this is what I like to call another stupid sappy self-indulgence. However, I digress…

Back to the matter at hand, I looked through my backpack to check over my items once more. For the sixth time that evening. It was only 8 p.m., and my long summer nights were going to make tonight suck, considering I had to get up at 8:30 the next morning. So, once again, I shuffled around my school supplies and other crap that I have to have with me at all times, like my CD player, CD's of course, and my sketchbook. I had to make sure I had my American history book in there, which I knew it was because it was there the past five times I looked.

You know, I may be a bit late on the memo and all, but I think I need to get a life…? What kind of normal human being can't keep themselves entertained for a few hours? But it was true… I had no new books to read, no new anime to watch (I'm blame my lack of income for both of those problems) and I can't use the family computer (the only one in the house, might I add…) since my little brother was hogging it (as usual). At least if I got zapped into the gundam wing world I'd be entertained to say the very least.

Ironic that I thought that, because at that moment the sound of a helicopter blared overhead. That part was nothing unusual, since there were always choppers around for one reason or another, so this may not sound fascinating to you. But once its spotlight shined into my room, blinding me, did I realize that my light was on and it was impossible for a light to be that bright. I felt like it was going to burn my brain through my eyes (now there's a pretty picture.) The sound of it was absolutely overwhelming, and I wondered how low it was to be so incredibly loud. Overall, a simple thought went through my head:

This isn't normal.

Then I lost my mind. No really, it felt like someone just put a cork in my thought processes, which may have been good because I didn't feel the initial shock of what was beginning to happen. I could only register what my senses told me. I couldn't take it much farther than that.

The next thing I knew my skin prickled with a peculiar feeling, like electricity, only it was more than that. Then it felt as if I was being compressed and then expanded, and colors, lights, then darkness swirled around me sickeningly and I had to close my eyes as my lungs seemed to lose their air. Then I had that plunging feeling that you get when you're about to fall asleep. I didn't scream; I don't know why. I didn't make any sound at all.

Then I could think again. Do you realize how precious it is to be able to think? Naturally my first thought was, 'I'm never going to eat those old cookies again. I swear it, for my own health.'

Then I thought, 'Maybe it's not the cookies. Maybe I'm just dreaming.' The roaring in my ears continued, seemingly endless. 'This is one of those dreams where it seems really real! Wake up Lynn! Stop being stupid!'

Suddenly the silence stopped immediately, and I felt like I was thrown back into reality. The roaring died down like the passing of a storm. And I lay there, numb. All I could feel was my skin prickling with that energy like the overwhelming buzzing of a lamp. I realized I was still holding my backpack with clenched fingers and that the surface on which I was on seemed to be moving, an effect of dizziness. I felt unhappiness in me at the idea of being sick on my first day of college tomorrow. The motions below me didn't fade, and I snapped open my eyes.

I screamed when I realized I wasn't in my room like I thought I was. All I got was the glimpse of the back seat of a car, when someone shouted in response to my scream, and swerved the vehicle radically.

My head hit the car door and my arms flew upwards, sending my backpack falling next to me behind the passenger's seat. It all happened so fast, that it took me a moment to realize that the vehicle had stopped and it was my head that was still spinning.

My head throbbed painfully, as I tried to collect my senses _and_ my mind, since I seemed to have lost it. What the heck was going on? Was I kidnapped? Was I knocked over the head and everything that had just happened was a dream? Was my family okay? I opened my eyes and let them adjust. Once that was taken care of, I first noticed that it was nighttime. The second thing I noticed was a person sitting in the driver's seat with a long chestnut braid. I peered harder, thinking I was hallucinating, but the image didn't go away. It was a guy. And he looked like Duo Maxwell. Which was totally impossible. But I couldn't have found a better match for the anime character if I tried. In fact, this guy looked somewhat anime… only he was real. No wait, he was anime. No wait… ahh! So confusing! Which was he? I didn't understand.

Something cold and hard tapped against the side of my head then, feeling far too real even for a dream. I turned my head, and looked into the barrel of a hand gun, which made me jump. I backed against the seat of the car, as blue eyes glared at me under brown bangs. I didn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. I had watched too much Gundam Wing, I was dreaming a dream that was too real, I was insane. But he looked like Heero… no, he WAS Heero. And that was Duo. And I can't believe that I'm already admitting this. I looked down at my body. I wasn't tied up or anything, and my backpack was still stuck behind the passenger's seat. So I wasn't kidnapped. Right? Although now that I peer down the barrel of this Heero-look-alike's handgun, I wasn't so sure.

I told myself that I didn't believe that these two men were anime characters to the show that I have been watching nearly religiously lately. But for some reason telling myself that didn't make me believe it. Instead, something inside my gut made me think the opposite. These guys were the real thing, and I couldn't even begin to explain it if I wanted to.

Duo shouted something in Japanese, and I stared at him completely clueless. He now had his gun out too, pointed at me. Didn't I come in a bright flash of light or something? If this was an anime, and if this was my imagination working here, then I would have had this huge amazingly magical entrance! I'm sorry, but there is NOTHING subtle about leaping into an alternate universe. So how come they acted as if I was a stowaway instead of someone who came out of thin air? I was too stunned to speak. How did I try and explain myself?

Wait… why would I try to explain myself to hallucinations? That had to be it. I knew it wasn't a dream, I can tell the difference between dreams and reality. Or at least I thought I could…

Suddenly Heero's sharp voice cut into my thoughts. "Anate ware desu ka!" he demanded, the gun still aimed at me.

"Wha….?" I started, completely confused. Japanese… they were speaking Japanese. That made sense! Gundam Wing was originally made in Japan, so of course they're going to speak in Japanese. So I knew I wasn't dreaming, and I wondered how I could think up Japanese if I was hallucinating. I didn't know Japanese… only a little bit from anime club…

"_Anate ware desu ka!_" Heero demanded again, tapping me with the gun.

I knew what he was saying, because that was from anime club. 'who are you?' I knew how to answer, but I was too terrified and confused to make words come out of my mouth right away. Maybe I was crazy after all… after all, I knew what he said… it was probably the only thing I ever retained from those anime club meetings. So naturally my mind would have the imaginary Heero speaking in Japanese and asking the only question that I remotely know how to answer.

"Wa… wa…. Watashi wa Lynn desu…?" I choked out, confused if I was even saying it right.

Duo laughed at my failed attempt, and he lowered his gun somewhat. "You don't speak very much Japanese, do you?"

Something in me snapped. "Oh! Oh, you speak English!" I announced, the words falling out of my mouth. "Good! That's good! That makes EVERYTHING alright now! I need to get out of here!" I grabbed for the door handle, but Heero nudged me with the gun again.

"You're not going anywhere." Heero said. His voice was threatening, and it scared me more than I ever daydreamed it would. First lesson learned in Alternate Universe 101: I am not immune to Heero's Death Glare.

"Yes, yes I am." I said, shaking under his glare. "Why? Because I can. Why? Because I'm hallucinating, that's why! There's no way in any mighty manner of existence that you could be real!"

Heero and Duo both looked at me like I was crazy, which was appropriate considering the circumstances.

"Why the hell wouldn't we be real?" Duo demanded.

"Because! Because you are a cartoon! Both of you! And all of your friends! And you're gundams, and-"

"What do you know about the gundams?" Heero demanded, his eyes wide with surprise. Panic continued to fill me: okay, so these are actually the gundam pilots… they confirmed their knowledge of the gundams. If they were just look-alikes from my reality then they would have already considered me highly insane.

"Not much because I never really cared about mechas!" I shot back. "Now if you'll excuse me oh cute little figments of my imagination, I am insane so I have to go find reality again…" Geez, what the hell was I _saying? _Why couldn't I stop rambling?

Without paying any heed to Heero's gun, I got out of the car, making a mental note that that wasn't real either even though I was sitting in it and had opened the door. They weren't real, none of this was real. I started to walk down the road, when I heard their car doors open and they ran after me and grabbed me by my arms. They dragged me to the car, and I tried to shake free of them.

"You're not supposed to be able to touch me!" I announced. "You're not real!"

"Stop saying that already! It's freaky!" Duo said.

"You don't know the HALF of it!" Then I started rambling to myself again, all of my fears seizing me. "I knew it, I was afraid of this… having schizophrenia… it runs in the family… grandmother had it, I was afraid I'd go crazy like her, too much daydreaming-"

Heero clamped his hand over my mouth and I struggled against him. Why could I smell him? Feel him? Was this what it was like being crazy? All of your senses being fooled? Finally I stopped struggling, for I felt mentally and physically wasted.

"Now…" Heero started. "How did you know that? Who have you been speaking to?"

"Not your Dr. J., that's for sure…" I replied. Heero looked at me with shocked eyes.

"How did you-"

"Know that? Wow that seems to be the thousand dollar question of the year!" I announced, throwing my hands up into the air. Duo and Heero both held my arms then, and kept me still. "Geez… weren't you guys listening? YOU'RE BOTH CARTOONS! NOW LET ME GO!"

"Do you have a medical history?" Duo demanded.

"I wish! At least that would explain what's happening to me right now!"

"Stop being ridiculous." Heero demanded. "How do you know these things?"

"Oh, don't make me say it again!" I whined. They pulled me into the backseat of the car then, and slid in with me until I was fit between them like a sandwich. Then I tried another tactic. "Okay, this feels real enough…" I pinched myself. "Ouch! Okay, I felt that… but that was me touching myself. Someone else pinch me! Slap my arm! Do something!"

Both Heero and Duo looked at each other, and I knew they were debating whether or not to do it. Suddenly I noticed the rearview mirror, and bolted forward. They grabbed onto my wrists and tried to pull me back. "Let me go!" I demanded. "I want to look in the mirror!" Duo let my wrist go, and I adjusted the mirror so I could see myself. My jaw dropped. I stared back at myself, or at least what I'd look like if I was anime/real. I touched my cheek, and so did my anime/real reflection. My hazel eyes stared back, very surprising considering anime eyes were usually only one color.

I couldn't understand how this had happened. I was in a real world that wasn't supposed to be real. It didn't make any sense whatsoever. Tears started to build at my eyes because I didn't know what to do, or what to think… I felt completely lost and it frustrated me.

"Was there a flash of light at all before I was in this car?" I choked out as I leaned back. I was hoping there was some connection between myself and these two. Heero and Duo looked at each other.

"Uh…. Yeah…" Duo said. "I thought it was a helicopter or someone with their brights on."

"But do you remember seeing a car or a helicopter pass by you?" I demanded, looking into his purple eyes. Purple. No one really had purple eyes…

Both of them fell silent, and finally Duo shook his head. "I thought it veered off or something…"

I put my head in my hands and choked on the sob that was lodged in my throat. I shook my head to myself. I couldn't believe it! I had the same entrance as my exit, which had to have been noticeable, only the timing couldn't have been more inappropriate. How dense could they be? I couldn't have possibly have been in this car the whole time!

"What happened?" Heero asked, and I didn't blame him for his confusion. I, for one, still couldn't accept that this was happening to me. "How do you know about me?"

"If I try to explain it, then you won't believe me…" I whispered. "You already think I'm crazy anyway…"

"Apparently you do too…" Duo responded. "But you did seem to just sort of appear in the car… I think… I don't know."

I could see Heero peering at me testily out of the corner of my eye. Finally he said, "Try to explain it."

"Are you saying there's a chance you'll believe me?" I asked skeptically, looking at him. He was really hot in person… I couldn't help but notice it. Geez, so was Duo! I don't know how he does it, but he pulls off having a braid like a really hot man pulls of wearing… nothing. Okay, maybe that was a bad analogy. My mind snapped back to the problem at hand.

"No. I still think you're either crazy, or putting up an act. But I'll humor you for now." Heero replied.

"Oh thanks." I said and rolled my eyes.

Well, what the hell? What's the worst that could happen? Well actually the worst could be that they would kill me because I know too much about them… but I didn't think that that was my purpose for being here… if all of this was really happening. And the big thing about that moment was that I still didn't trust myself to believe my senses were telling me the truth. So, I made an attempt.

"Okay, back home where I come from… there's this cartoon called Gundam Wing." I glanced at Heero's expression. Something flashed across his eyes, but he didn't speak. "It was about these five guys who were gundam pilots who fought for the colonies to protect them and end the war between Earth and the colonies. Each gundam pilot has a gundam, which makes sense since they're gundam pilots…." I shook my head to myself for being an idiot, and continued. "Let's see. The characters were as follows: Heero Yuy… in the actual series, his gundam was Wing I think; Duo Maxwell… his gundam was Deathscythe; Trowa Barton… his gundam was Heavyarms; Quatre Raberba Winner… pilot of Sandrock; and last but not least, Wufei Chang who was the pilot of Shenlong, also more personally called Nataku. Now, would you prefer me to go into the timeline details? What year is it?" I asked.

"A.C. 198..." Duo told me.

"Oh yeah! Great! Then that means that the Operation Meteor thing and Mariemaia events have already passed! And guess what? I know that Operation Meteor wasn't the REAL Operation Meteor! That's what Mariemaia's thing is all about!"

They were both silent once I was done venting. I didn't know how much I should tell them… little did they know how much I really knew… about each of them: events from their pasts that they would never tell anyone… I felt guilty knowing things I really shouldn't know.

Then Heero said what I expected. "We should kill you for knowing so much… it's dangerous to us."

I eyed him carefully. "I'll have you know that it's not my fault… as far as I know you people aren't even real. I don't understand what I'm doing here, but I don't think I was placed here to be shot."

"I don't understand how you can have so much information in such detail!" Duo announced. "But you can't expect us to believe that you're just some girl from another world and we are supposed to be cartoons!"

I sighed, and was afraid of what I'd have to do to convince them because that would lead me to telling them more about them. Then an idea struck me. "Ha! I know! I'll prove it to you! First off, my name is Lynn Tinsley and I was born on October 27th, 1985! According to my knowledge, it is 2003 and I am 17 years old and currently going to be going to Los Angeles Pierce College." As I said all of this quickly in a string of words, I grabbed my backpack and pulled out my wallet. I opened it up and showed them my California I.D. There was the evidence, plain as day. I also showed them my social security card and my ATM card, both with my name on it. I even showed them my Bruce Springsteen concert ticket from a few days before.

"I'm not lying." I said finally. "And I don't expect you to believe me, but it's the truth and I can't say it any other way. If you want I can make up a lie, but I personally don't think that'd be a good idea. You'd probably believe it."

Heero looked at my wallet with my I.D. in it, and his brow furrowed. "But…" he said, "This could be made. It could easily be fake."

"Heero…" I turned to him with a sigh. "If I was a spy, which I'm sure that's what you two think I am, then why the hell would have such an insane story as a cover up? It makes no sense! Also, don't you think you would have noticed me in the car _before_ I screamed? Not to mention a 'spy' wouldn't scream and give herself away."

"That's a valid point…" Duo said. I smiled finally, relief starting to wash over me.

"Are you saying you believe her?" Heero asked in disbelief.

Duo put his hands up in defense. "I really don't know what I'm saying, man… But this is really crazy…"

"If you take me to wherever one of you may be staying, then I'll try and explain it in further detail…." I said with a sigh. "Just… please don't kill me… I still plan to do things with my life."

Then after a moment Duo got in the driver's seat and Heero stayed back with me, the gun still pointed at me, precariously close. What if his finger slipped? What if we hit a bump and he accidentally pulled the trigger? What if I sneezed, startled him, causing him to shoot me? Paranoid thoughts filled my head, but I tried to ignore them. Once we started driving, Duo attempted to make some sort of conversation. It may have been just to humor me, or to bring a bit of normalcy back to us as we sat uncomfortably in the car. Normalcy? Ha! Yeah right! Here I was, in GW land, with Heero aiming his gun at me. All possible chances of 'normal' were long gone.

"So… uh… what are ya gonna study in college?" Duo asked.

"I was going to get my AA in Fine Arts. Then I was going to go to the Academy of Art College in San Francisco where I was going to get my BA in Illustration. I was going to become an animator. Or try to…" I replied.

"Was?" Heero pondered.

"It's not like I'm going to just leap back to my world any time I want…" I replied. "If stuff was that easy, then I would have popped in earlier and said hi and wouldn't have said anything to give away what I know, 'cause I could just hop back to my world whenever I felt like it."

Moments passed. I stared at Heero's gun. "Could you stop pointing that thing at me?"

"No."

"It's not like I'm going to try and kick your ass in the back seat of a car. No, scratch that. I wouldn't try to kick your ass anywhere, 'cause you're much stronger and much more experienced than I'll ever be."

Heero didn't put the gun down. I rolled my eyes and gave a small laugh. "I figured you wouldn't listen to me, not that I blame you…"

"What do you mean?" Heero replied.

"You were trained to be like this, right? To be extremely cautious, practically paranoid? You _are_ a gundam pilot and all…" I replied. "Not to mention I do understand how you have to protect your history."

"Then you understand why I'd have to kill you." Heero replied stoically.

I sighed, and looked out the car window at the trees fading into buildings that passed by in a blur. "But you don't really want to kill me… do you? I don't think anyone really enjoys taking a life. Besides, I'm sure you still want to know just how much I know, right?"

Heero narrowed his eyes at me, and a low growl escaped his throat, and I merely raised my eyebrow. I didn't like how this was turning out. A part of me still thought I was crazy.

Eventually Duo pulled up into a large driveway of a huge house, maybe a mansion. I've never lived in big places, so I don't know what it would properly be called. My jaw dropped. "You guys are staying with Quatre?" I asked.

Duo turned around in his seat. "You know, it's freaky how you keep doing that. How did you know this place belongs to Quatre?"

"Because he's the one with the money!" I replied. "C'mon, he's the heir to the Winner foundation! I really don't think that your scrap yard business with Hilde would ever get you this much money… and I don't think Heero would ever own something like this."

"You know about Hilde?" Duo exclaimed. "This is way too weird."

I laughed slightly in response and shook my head. Then I asked as Heero pulled me out of the car, "Are all of you guys living here? I know after the Mariemaia thing Wufei went with Sally to work as a Preventer, Trowa went back to the circus, I think… I don't know what Quatre ended up doing, but I know he has money. Probably taking over his dad's business or something like that… Oh, and now that I think about it, what did you do afterward, Heero?"

"You don't know?" Heero replied. "So far you've been able to name everything else…"

"Yeah but Endless Waltz doesn't tell about you in the end. You just sort of… disappear, I suppose."

"Endless Waltz?" Duo pondered as we walked up the wide steps.

"Yeah, that's the whole Mariemaia incident. See, first there's the series, which is the whole Operation Meteor thing. Then after that there's like this extra mini series type movie thing called Endless Waltz. There's Endless Waltz the movie, and Endless Waltz the 3 or 4 episodes. It's weird, I don't know why they did that. I've only seen the episodes."

"Uh _huh_…." Heero responded.

"Man, you're confusing…" Duo commented as he unlocked the door.


	2. Oh great an interrogation

Thank you for the reviews, people! I apologize if people become a little OOC here and there, but I'll try and keep them as much as in character as possible. I hope you continue to like this story… if it goes slow at some parts, then I apologize… I'll have you know I'm still working on making up plausible rules concerning the alternate worlds for this story. So bear with me, k? Now, without further ado… chapter 2!

unenthusiastic crowd waves little flags yay…

**Chapter 2: Oh great… an interrogation…**

We stepped inside, and my mouth fell open. "Wow this place is huge…" I commented as I hugged my backpack to myself. In front of me there were stairs that led up to rooms on the second floor. To my right there was a room where the door was closed. To my left was a huge living room space, where there was a couch and a coffee table and a large stereo system. To the left of that was another door leading into another room. Past the living room area was the dining room area, where there was a glass sliding door leading to outside. It was too dark to see what was outside, but I could only guess the size of the backyard space. To the left of the dining room area was the kitchen, which I could only see a part of.

They led me into the dining room and had me sit in one of the chairs.

"Do you want to tie her down?" Duo asked Heero.

"No you don't!" I exclaimed. "What's the big idea?"

"It's just a precaution." Heero explained. The stillness of his voice didn't help at all.

"Precaution for what?" I demanded, as Duo left my line of vision and then came back moments later with some rope. "Oh this is just unbelievable…" They tied my wrists to the arms of the chair, and my ankles to the front legs. "Alright…" I said, once they were done. "Are you happy now? What normal people have rope ready and available anyway?"

"Hey, rope is useful!" Duo replied. He started to list the uses of rope, ticking each one off on his fingers. "tying down the trunk of a car, using it to pull or carry stuff, using it to tie things together so they don't fall apart, a lasso, a jump rope…"

"Using it to tie down helpless girls?" I added with a glare, which both men pointedly ignored.

Duo sat on the table directly in front of me, and Heero stood next to him, leaning against the edge. Both of them put down their guns since I was tied down. I shook my head, and let it fall, my chin resting on my chest. The bangs of my short hair fell over my face, and I wanted to wake up already. This was seriously becoming tiring.

"Alright." Heero began as I stared at my knees. "How is it that you know so much about me?"

"About us." Duo corrected. "And none of this cartoon business."

I didn't respond to their question, since there was nothing that I could say.

"You'd better answer us." Heero ordered.

"And if I don't?" I replied defiantly. "How much do I need to know about all of you before you decide it's too much and you'd have to kill me?"

"I don't know. Let's find out." Heero replied.

"Honestly, I know more than any of you would ever like, and would ever tell anyone. Now I wish I didn't know anything." I said quietly. Then I mumbled to myself, "To think your parents raise you to believe that telling the truth will keep you out of trouble…"

Suddenly, I heard someone enter the dining room and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up with apprehension. Then I heard Quatre's voice request something in Japanese. Probably asking what was going on. Heero responded to him in Japanese, and Duo added to what Heero said. How was it that they could speak English and Japanese? I thought to myself carefully. They spoke Japanese because GW is an anime and it was originally Japanese. But they can speak English because GW was dubbed! That made enough sense… At least I know for sure that I'm not making this scenario up in my head… because I can't understand a damn word they're saying.

At that point, Quatre took a couple of steps towards Heero and Duo, and I could see him in my line of vision. Wow, he was cute too. 'Pretty boy' cute. He didn't seem so young in person. I looked up into his eyes, and he looked back at me with a bit of sympathy and puzzlement. I could only look at him for so long, and I brought my eyes back to my legs. My eyes started to brim with tears, and I felt like a child who just got caught doing something bad.

Then Quatre asked something, and I didn't know if he was talking to me. But I heard Duo tell him, "She doesn't speak Japanese."

"Oh!" Quatre exclaimed. "Why not?" He seemed completely baffled by the concept that someone didn't know how to speak Japanese, no matter their nationality.

"Because I'm 100 full-blown American." I said. "The only Japanese I know are small words and phrases because I like anime."

"Ahh… that's weird."

Okay, so they have anime in anime-land. That's ironic. I wonder what their anime looks like?

Then Quatre kneeled down and tilted my face up by my chin slightly. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"No. No I'm not okay." I replied. "I didn't do anything wrong, and I'm tied to a chair."

"You guys should let her go." Quatre told them.

"What do you mean 'let her go'?" Duo exclaimed. "You heard what we said, right?"

"Yeah, but I feel that she's telling the truth. About the not doing anything wrong part." Quatre said in my defense. I wanted to hug him, and I would have if I wasn't tied down. "She's not going to run away, there are three of us and one of her."

"Feelings can be deceiving, Quatre." Heero said calmly.

"She's not dangerous." Quatre explained.

"How about you tell Quatre some of the stuff that you told us?" Duo said, looking at me almost accusingly.

I was so stressed and upset, I didn't know what to do. I bit my lip and tried to reframe from crying, but by this point I had gone through too much too quickly and it seemed like I was stuck here. I started to cry, practically out of the shock itself. The tears fell silently, landing on my legs, and I kept sniffling to keep my nose from running all over myself. Why me?

"I'm untying her." Quatre said.

"But Quatre…!" Duo protested. Heero narrowed his eyes at the blonde, and then looked at me with a piercing glare as Quatre undid the knots, as if he were accusing me of using mind control or something. I glared back.

I rubbed my wrists once I was untied, and then I drew my knees up to myself and buried my face in my arms. I took a shuddering breath, and tried to calm myself down. Panicking wasn't going to do me any good. "You didn't have to tie it so tight, you know…" I said.

"Uh… Sorry…" Duo replied. "But do you blame us?"

"Yes, yes I do!" I replied angrily. Then I sighed, as I tried to calm myself down. "No, not really… I'm just… I'm afraid of how you'll react when I say the things that will make you believe me."

"She claims that we're cartoons." Heero told Quatre. Quatre looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you are where I'm from…" I said defensively. "I didn't watch all of the series because it would show on TV before I could get home, not to mention it was painfully dubbed and edited… but I did find you guys interesting enough. So I know about each of you more personally than I know about what actually happened throughout the entire thing with Operation Meteor."

Quatre's jaw dropped. Apparently Operation Meteor itself was never really explained to the public.

"Oh man…" I muttered. "Not that surprised look again."

Heero then took my backpack from the table where they had put it, and started to take out its contents. Out came my class schedule that I printed off the internet. Out came my American history book for one of my classes. Out came the fall schedule booklet for Pierce. Out came my CD's (4 cases, each holding two CD's to save space) and my CD player. Out came my sketchbook. Suddenly I began to panic as I remembered what I had drawn in it. It would have been nice if either A) it was left at home, meaning not in my backpack, or B) there was at least another GW fan here, because undoubtedly nearly all otakus have sketchbooks where they draw their favorite bishonen.

Quatre looked at my belongings as well. I took my class schedule from his hands and scanned it. Then I pointed at the bottom right-hand corner where it had '6/29/2003' printed.

"Okay, see? That's when I had registered for my classes online. That's when I printed this out. I had this in my backpack so that I could find my classes on my first day at school. See? It says the classrooms on here." I pointed to where it said 'Location.' Then I grabbed my Pierce catalog, and flipped to the back. "See? This has the map on it."

Quatre furrowed his brow. "But… This is impossible! 2003?"

"I know!" I exclaimed. "But that's where I'm from!"

Then I noticed that Duo was beginning to flip through my sketchbook. I leaped forward to snatch it from him, but he held it away from my reach.

"Duo! Give that back!" I demanded.

"Woah! Why?"

"Because I said so!"

"Not a good enough reason." The braided boy held the book so that it fell open in his hand, and pages started to fall like a calendar, showing my artwork. "Wow! These are great! It looks so real!"

I sighed heavily. "That's because I've been drawing anime for a long time."

"Anime?" Quatre said. "That doesn't look like anime! That looks like realism!"

"Yeah, for you!" I responded. "But where I come from people look different, and you guys are anime!" I looked them over then. "Although back where I come from you look much more cartoonish. Here you're real, but you're anime at the same time. It's really weird."

"Woah! Woah! Hold everything!" Duo shouted, and I looked back at what he was talking about. I let out a squeak when I realized what he was gawking at. It was a drawing of none other than Heero, and with a made up female character nonetheless. It was no one in particular, just someone I felt like drawing Heero with. It only showed the two from the chest/collarbone area and up, but it was very evident that the girl was wearing no top, while she clung to Heero's tank top.

I let out a moan, and put my head in my hands. "How embarrassing!" I cried.

Heero snatched the book from Duo and stared at the drawing. A slight redness came to his cheeks and I wasn't sure if it was from blushing or from contained rage. "What the hell is this!" he demanded.

I moaned again, and put my head back into my hands.

Heero continued to yell, "Who the heck is she? How did you draw this?"

Heero then quickly flipped through the pages. Next he came across a gothic drawing of Trowa. I wouldn't have minded him seeing that one as much, only Trowa was wearing tight pants, and… well, there were details to be had. He flipped some more, and came across a headshot of himself done in pen.

"Wow…" Quatre whispered. "It looks just like you, Heero!"

"It _is_ me!" Heero replied, completely surprised. "How'd you get this!"

"It's from one of the episodes." I explained. "It's from the scene where you self-destruct your gundam so that OZ can't get it."

Quatre stared at me. "What happened after that?"

"Well…" I began eager to prove my identity. "Heero flew in the air a few hundred feet and skidded to a stop. I remember seeing the uncut version… he was bleeding a lot, and he was unconscious but his eyes were open. Sorry Heero, but since it was anime, it was really cool. Then Trowa picked him up with his gundam and took him away. Zechs let him leave because he thought it wouldn't be fair or something like that. If I recall, Une got into some trouble over that. Treize wasn't very happy. He told her to 'be more graceful.'"

"Then what happened?" Heero asked.

"Well, you were in a coma or unconscious or something like that for two months. Or was it a month? I don't remember. But I do remember that when you woke up, you told Trowa that dying hurts like hell, which he found very funny."

"I don't believe it." Heero whispered. "That's exactly what I said. That's exactly what happened." Then he became much more serious, and his voice got quieter. "How much do you know? Honestly?"

I bit my lip. Should I lie? I stared at Heero's piercing blue eyes, and I realize that he could probably see right through me. He'd know if I was lying, and then I wouldn't be able to redeem myself. I never was good at lying to begin with. "More than you want me to, or anyone else. Please don't make me tell you, Heero… just believe me, already."

"You have to tell me." Heero demanded. His eyes bore into my own, and I couldn't look away. He had me, I knew it. I couldn't lie to him, and I know he deserved to know that I knew. I would hate myself if I wasn't honest.

"I know what you told Wufei when you were fighting with him during the time of Mariemaia." I said this so quietly, that I wasn't sure he'd caught it. But he did. He stared at me then, and I didn't know what he was going to do or what was going through his head. I immediately gave myself a mental beating. I shouldn't have said that. I really shouldn't have said that. I have just sealed my fate.

Finally he whispered, his voice shaky. "You… you know about that?" His hands clenched into fists, and I didn't know what to expect from him. Whatever it was, it would be something violent.

"I… I'm sorry…" I whispered. "No one should ever know something so personal about a person unless that person is willing to tell them. Now I wish I never knew anything. About any of you."

"What do you know about me?" Duo asked.

But before I could answer, Heero cut off his question with one of his own. "How much of it do you know?" He wouldn't look at me, and I was grateful _and_ afraid over it.

Then Heero did something I didn't expect. "Get out." He said to Duo and Quatre. "This is something I need to clarify with her on my own."

By this time I was really scared. "No, don't make them leave Heero…" I begged as I stood up, pushing the chair back. I automatically clung to Quatre's arm for support and as a defense.

"What?" Duo said, as if he hadn't heard right. "I don't understand…"

"You don't have to." Heero shot back. "Just leave. I need to talk to her alone."

Quatre looked at me as I clung to him.

"I'm not going to hurt her." Heero said quietly. "But this is something personal."

I didn't believe him. People were unpredictable, and often tended to act randomly. But Duo and Quatre _did_ believe him. I don't know why they did, but they did. Still, Duo took Heero's gun that was sitting on the table. Not like that would stop him from killing or hurting me if he really wanted to…

Once Quatre and Duo left the dining room, I kept myself a good distance away from Heero with my arms crossed protectively. He stood at the glass sliding door, staring outside, although I don't think he was really looking. His hands were in the pockets of his jeans and he stood there, seemingly calm.

"Tell me…" he finally said. "Were you just there for the part when I had told Wufei?"

I remained silent, because it seemed to be the best answer. Finally he turned around. "I asked you a question. Was that all, or not?" His eyes burned into mine, and I backed up against the wall. Finally, he tilted his head down, his bangs covering his eyes. "Please… I need to know the truth."

"I don't want to tell you." I whispered, as I stared at him with steady eyes. Finally I looked at my feet. "But I… I can't lie. I suck at it, honestly. But I have to watch out for my own safety too, you know…"

Heero frowned at me. "You have to tell me. I'd much rather have you do it willingly than me having to threaten you. I don't' want to do that, but if I must then I will. For _my_ own safety."

"But can you guarantee _my_ safety? If I tell you, then can you swear to me that you won't hurt me?" I shot back at him, angry now. Didn't he realize my position? Didn't he understand what he was asking me to do? At this moment I had to first look out for myself and _then_ think about Heero and the others. By this point, I knew I wasn't hallucinating. But what I didn't know was if I could get back home. "I understand completely why you have to know, but you should also understand that you won't like it."

"If you know something about me then I damn well have the right to know exactly what you know and how much." Heero responded. "Do you realize the threat that you present? You could go and leak this information to anyone!"

"Why the hell would I tell anyone about your past?" I yelled at him. "It's not my history to tell! What good would that do? I have no reason to do anything that may harm you!"

"Having you know about what I was talking about with Wufei is enough harm as it is!" Heero yelled back. My anger lowered a bit, and I felt sympathy.

"That's not my fault." I said finally. "It _is_ my fault that I opened my big mouth to you. But it's not my fault that I know. Damn it, it's not even my fault that I'm here." I leaned against the wall and slid down, and put my face in my hands. This was way too complicated for my taste.

"Well, you're here now. And you're going to tell me what you know." Heero said matter-of-factly. He kneeled down in front of me as he said this, and I looked up at him, staring him straight in the eye.

"Will you believe me if I tell you?" I asked finally. Heero nodded.

"I'd have to." He said. "As unbelievable as it may sound."

I played with the sleeves of my black and rose-printed shirt. "And… if I tell you, and you're willing to believe me, would you not hurt me? I might go home eventually, if I can find a way or if I'm taken home like I was taken here. Then I won't be a threat anymore."

Heero paused at this, and thought for a moment. "What if you can't get back home? What if you're stuck here?"

I shrugged. "Well then I don't know. Personally, I think that since I got here, then there's a way to get me back. But… if I don't… then I guess there's nothing I can do about it and you can do what you want with me, whatever you think is right. Not like I'd ever fit in here anyway…"

Heero let out a quiet sigh, and finally nodded his head. "Alright. Then I won't hurt you. But you have to swear to me that whatever you know, about any of us, you won't tell to anyone else. Meaning if I ask you about myself then you tell me. But if anyone besides me asks, anyone _at all_, then you don't say _anything_."

I nodded. "I promise. I wouldn't tell anyone anyway, so that'll be simple enough."

"If I find out you've told someone, then I get to shoot you." Heero said.

I grinned. "Deal."

"Now tell me. What do you know?" Heero asked.

"Um… okay." I started. "Not all the stuff is together in my head, 'cause I've only really gathered a lot of your past from reading the mangas in the bookstore and seeing Endless Waltz. But I know the whole event of what you told Wufei."

"Be more specific." Heero pressed.

"I mean I saw it like a flashback in a movie." I replied. I hoped he didn't ask for any more on it, but naturally he did.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Don't make me recite the damn thing; I'm sure the memory is bad enough as it is." I said. Instead, I mentioned a couple of brief details. "Alright… escaping an OZ base after putting bombs somewhere in it. You're lying on the grass. There's a girl, with a dog named Mary, she gives you a yellow flower, etc, etc. The entire shish and caboodle right down to the aftermath. I can't make myself describe it much deeper, I don't want to make this any more difficult."

Heero sighed heavily and ran his hands through his hair with his head down. "Dialogue. Any dialogue?"

"Jesus, Heero! Enough already! Why are you pushing for the total recall?" I announced. "You're making this harder, and not just for myself! Believe me already! Yes, there is dialogue! Would you like me to recite it?"

Heero looked away stubbornly because I know he didn't really want to hear it. Then he asked, "What else do you know?"

"That you met Dr. J. when you were young… after this guy you worked for was killed. You were pretending to be his son, I think." I said.

"What was his name?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I don't remember reading a name in the manga." I told him. Not necessarily a lie, but not the full truth either. I purposefully meant to leave out that in many fan fictions and GW websites around the world, fans say that the guy was Odin Lowe. I didn't find it wise to bring Heero to the realization that somewhere, in another world, a surmountable number of people knew all about him. Talk about invasion of privacy. "That's all I know. Just where your origin of being a gundam pilot came from, and a memory showing that you care about people, which is no surprise to me, even if I didn't know about it."

There was silence for a few minutes. Suddenly Heero blew up in a rage. He knocked over the chair and started yelling. "But I don't even know you! How is it that you could know! You're not supposed to know that! You're a complete stranger to me!"

I bit my lip hard, and I couldn't react. I couldn't respond. All that went through my head was, 'I'm sorry, it's not my fault.' I didn't want him to hold me responsible, but I held myself responsible. I couldn't offer him comfort of any kind, because I was a stranger. I truly didn't know him, and he didn't know me.

Finally he suppressed what was left of his rage and he turned back to me. "So this is it? I'm a cartoon? Is that all I am? All of the people I know? Is everything fake? You have to be right, there's no way you could know what you know. I never told anyone. What about everything I've fought so hard for? Everything I've ever believed in? Is it all a lie? Does it not matter anymore?"

His anger scared me, but I had to reassure him of his reality. "You are real. Everything here is real. There's no way you couldn't be real. You're only fake where I'm from. But that's a completely different _universe_, so my world doesn't matter. You're never going to see it or anything."

"But if I'm real, then what does that make you?"

I thought for a moment. "I don't know… maybe reality is a figment… maybe there is more than one type of reality. I don't know. Look, I don't have all the answers, alright? I'm just as confused as you are. I'm just me! I'm just supposed to be a normal girl!"

"But you're not." Heero said. "You know things about us that no one else does, and we've never seen you before. Everything you have dates back to 2003. Even your drawings…" He left his sentence unfinished, and paced the dining room.

"Okay, let me rephrase that, then." I said. "According to where I'm from, I'm just a normal girl. And aside from me knowing about you and your friends, I'm still a normal girl. I'm still a smart ass, I still make stupid jokes about nothing, and I still just plan to start college and become an animator. I'm just a person with hopes and dreams and fears like everyone else."

Heero glared at me under his bangs. "Well, aside from being a retired gundam pilot and having saved the Earth and the Colonies, while also killing a number of people, I guess you could say that I'm just a normal person too."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, I see your point. But there's nothing we can do about what we've done or what we know for either of us, now can we?"

Heero sighed quietly then. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and I realized that he was trying to act stoic again, but he was uncomfortable.

I stood up then, and went to the chair and sat down in it. "This fucking sucks…" I said finally. I started rambling again, because somehow it made me feel better. "I mean, I'm still having trouble accepting this. And not like this could have happened just a tad bit better. I get thrown into every otaku's fantasy, and things have already started off crappy. I bet no fan girl ever thought _this _type of thing would happen… you know, actually go to your anime world of choice and having it be so realistic that it sucks because that's how reality is. Like this is even anime! Good grief. I don't know what to call this sort of thing. Well, I bet God is laughing himself into stitches right now! 'Serves her right!' he's saying. I hope he's satisfied. Maybe eventually he'll get over the ironic hilarity of my situation and take me back home."

Heero stared at me, and then raised an eyebrow. "That's an interesting way to look at it." he said.

"Yeah, well I'm running out of ideas." I replied.

There was a pause, and then Heero asked, "Did you really fantasize about coming here? You know… meeting us?" I could tell that he found it weird to try and say those words. It sounded weird hearing them.

"Please, Heero… spare me the humiliation of having to answer that question." I replied, looking away from him.

By this time, I was already very embarrassed. And extremely tired. Actually, that would mean I was exhausted. I was beyond exhausted. My entire being was worn down to the fragility of a toothpick. I was amazed that I was still sane. Or maybe I had lost my sanity once I finally allowed myself to believe that I was in GW land.

Quatre and Duo came in then, ending mine and Heero's conversation, which wasn't a problem since we weren't talking anymore. The two of them looked at us attentively. Finally Duo asked, "So… is she a nut, or is she telling the truth?"

"Hello…" I waved my hands at him. "Right here! No need to refer to me in the third person, thank you very much…"

Heero sighed heavily and looked away. "Yeah. She's telling the truth."

"You're shitting me!" Duo announced.

I couldn't resist. I responded for Heero. "He shits you not." They all raised eyebrows at me, and I shrugged as I blushed a little. "Sorry."

"Seriously…?" Quatre whispered. Although I couldn't blame all of this skepticism, it really began to get on my nerves. I frowned and crossed my arms. Heero looked away from his blonde friend, confirming it. "That's impossible!" Quatre cried.

I put my head on the table, making a resounding 'thunk' noise. At least Heero believed me, although I felt guilty for having to tell him that which convinced him.

Then Duo decided to try and dash that. "Heero… whatever she told you… is it really so far off as to believe she's from another _world? _Think about this logically, man…"

"She told me two of my own memories." Heero replied. "One of which is way too old, even for her if she's really from here. She'd be our age. It's not possible."

"Someone else could have given her the information." Duo replied. "This is much more likely to be a conspiracy than what she claims it to be. Did she give you dialogue along with those memories?"

Finally, I intervened. "I could, but I didn't because I didn't want to make it any harder than it was."

Duo looked at me skeptically, and I didn't like him right then. I glared at him. Quatre sighed. "Duo, let it lie. If Heero believes her, then that definitely means something." A sigh of relief escaped my lips.

Still, the stress was there, weighing me down. I realized that Heero's words weren't enough to convince everyone else and eventually I'd have to convince them, partially for my own safety, which was a chance. Perhaps the others wouldn't be as willing to compromise as Heero was. I didn't know what to do anymore; I didn't know what to think.

The rush of thoughts that entered my head and the full reality of my predicament hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I was, and I was in danger. My sanity was at stake, first off because I was allowing myself to believe in this. I had to believe what my senses told me, though. If you can't believe your senses, then what the hell _can _you believe? And not only was I in danger for what I know, but I'm in danger of not getting home. Stuff like this never happens. Ever. The chances of getting back to where I belong were pretty much impossible. And what then? I couldn't find my place here… I have no history here; there is no way I could fit in. What will my family and friends do when they realize I've disappeared? They would be absolutely crushed. These gundam pilots couldn't help me get back home any more than I could. I didn't even seem to have an outcome. This was absolutely unbelievable and unbearable… it slammed against my mind like harsh waves upon a sand castle.

I swayed on my feet, and gripped the table for support. The room began to spin and blur before my eyes, and I tried not to faint. Fainting was the last thing I needed. I felt sick; like I was going to hurl the dinner I had, along with my insides. I didn't know what to do.

The three of them noticed, and Heero who was closest to me, caught me first. I couldn't even feel his arms around me, holding me up so I didn't hit the floor. I felt completely outside of myself. I think someone said 'oh no…' and I think it was me, I wasn't sure. Quatre had my right arm by this point, and Duo stood there not knowing what to do. Quatre was talking to me, but I couldn't hear him. I tried to focus on his words.

"Lynn! Lynn, what's wrong?" he was asking me.

The spinning of my surroundings became worse, and I closed my eyes and put my hand to my forehead. I groaned. It was all I could muster. I couldn't seem to get enough air. I tried to take even gasps of breath to keep myself from vomiting and to stop my world from twirling. I covered my face with both hands, and in my mind it felt like the world was crashing down on top of me, threatening to pin me under it.

"I think she might be going into shock." I heard Heero say, his voice distant to my ears. Shapes became shadows, and I finally gave in to the darkness.


	3. I'm sick? Great start

**Chapter 3: I'm sick? Great start…**

Someone knocked on the door, disturbing my slumber. I tried to ignore it and shrunk further under the covers, wanting to continue to sleep off the headache I had. I heard the door open, and then someone was trying to shake me awake gently.

I groaned. "Go away…" I mumbled. "I don't wanna get up yet."

I heard the person sigh with annoyance, and then shook me harder. Good lord, only my brother was this annoying. I hated it when he tried to wake me up in the morning. I batted him away, and then stretched in my spot, not yet opening my eyes. Sunlight came in through the window, blinding even through my closed eyelids.

I rolled over until the light of morning left me alone. Stupid sunlight. I have long since decided that the sun should only come up when I'm ready to get up. I realized that I felt like crap. "Adrian…." I whined. "leave me alone, I don't feel good." I put my head under the pillow. He took it off of my head. Stupid ass little brother! "Adrian! What the hell? You're freakin' annoying!" I opened my eyes, ready to smack my brother across the head for being a punk, until I noticed that it wasn't my brother.

And I wasn't in my room. And what I had thought was a dream, turned out to not be a dream. I fell back onto the bed. "Oh bloody hell…" I muttered.

Heero stared back at me, of all people. I felt embarrassed. I yelled at Heero, called him a punk, and was about to hit him across the head. I wanted to die. I would have at least expected Quatre to be the one to try and wake me up, considering I was in his house. I looked at the stoic pilot with complete confusion and masked humiliation.

As if Heero could read my thoughts, he said, "Quatre's downstairs making breakfast. He asked me to wake you up."

My stomach churned uncomfortably at the mention of food, and I groaned in response. "What happened?"

"You went into shock and fainted." Heero replied. I sighed at this. I went into shock. Geez, that sounds serious…

"I swear it felt like the universe was crashing down on me. I felt nauseated, and everything seemed to be spinning. Nothing made sense. Nothing does make sense. I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't know what to think." I whispered.

"Don't worry about it." Heero said stoically. "You're going to stay here for a while. We've all decided on it."

"A convenient way to keep your eye on me, I'm sure…" I replied.

"Do you want breakfast?" Heero asked me finally.

"No. It won't stay down." I replied.

"Are you sick?" Heero put his hand to my forehead to check, and I couldn't help but blush. His hands were rough, expected from a soldier. Still, he touched me cautiously. Now either I really was sick, or he mistook my blushing for being flushed with fever. Whatever the case, he frowned. "I'll get a thermometer."

Heero went into what I could only guess was the bathroom. I didn't quite get why he was being concerned. Here I was, someone who knew part of his dark past in photographic detail, and he's going to nurse me back to health. What entertained me was how when he spoke to me, his voice and actions were pretty much neutral, whereas he himself was not. I glanced around my room quickly, but didn't take much in besides the bed I was in and the large window to my left, and how the door he went into was to my right, on the wall that my bed's head post was against.

He came back a moment later, thermometer in hand. He handed it to me. Thank God. That would have been too weird if he put it in my mouth for me. I did that part myself, so now I couldn't talk.

"I'll tell Quatre you're not hungry." Heero said, and left the room. I listened to his steps go down the stairs. About a minute passed, and then I heard his footsteps come up the stairs again, and then he came back into my room with a glass of water. "You can take out the thermometer now," he told me, as he set the glass on the nightstand at my right. I obeyed him like a child would obey her mother. I looked at it myself.

I sighed. "Great… 99.9. I'm usually at, like, 97.6 or something."

"So you're sick." Heero said, taking the thermometer from me and looking at it himself as he sat at the edge of my bed.

"An astounding conclusion, Heero." I replied with a grin. He glared at me. I nudged him with my foot. "I'm just teasing you, get use to it. You'll have to, if I'm going to stay here."

"Quatre had me bring up the water and the Tylenol." Heero said, moving back to my problem. He pulled the bottle of Tylenol out of his pants pocket and tossed it to me and I caught it.

"Hey! I didn't know you guys had Tylenol here! I thought there'd be nothing familiar here from my time and world…" I said, completely happy to see something familiar. Obviously there had to be some similarities between my world and his… according to me, this world was a basis of my own. To a degree. Certain things must still remain. I was determined to find out what else there was that I was familiar with.

Heero peered at me. I wasn't quite sure why he was looking at me the way he was. I knew already that he was upset by the fact that I knew all about him. That much I could see in the way he acted near me. He may show some sort of vague concern for my health or whatever, but he still kept himself distanced from me. Whatever the case, it was that factor, plus another one that added up to the look that I was receiving.

"What?" I asked. Good grief, he was looking at me like I sprouted a second head or something!

"Nothing." he said, looking away.

I rolled my eyes. Did this have to do with where and when I come from? Finally I said, "Yes, I'm from the year 2003. What's even crazier is that I was born in 1985. That must make me from like the ancient ages or something. When the hell did the After Colony calendar start, anyway?"

"198 years ago." Heero told me. I wanted to smack myself. Duh. Thus why the year is called A.C. 198.

"Well, what was the year before that?" I asked. " 'cause that after colony stuff is Greek to me."

"Before After Colony was A.D." Heero replied. "1999 A.D. A.C. 1 was the turn of the century."

I stared at him. "That's impossible."

"What do you mean?" Heero said, looking puzzled. "That's what _we've _been trying to say about you. There is no such thing as 2003 A.D."

"But I'm _from_ 2003!" I replied, my voice raising. "How could the A.C. calendar have started in 2000 if I'm from 2003 and there are no colonies? Hell, there aren't even colony productions being started!"

Heero looked very confused. "You're not making any sense."

"_You're_ not making any sense!" I shot back. I put my head in my hands. "That's impossible! We don't have the type of technology to build colonies in space! At least not safely…there are too many consequences, things that can go wrong!"

"The building of the colonies started during the first years of space exploration." Heero replied.

"How? How is that possible? You guys didn't even know anything _about_ space!" I demanded. "Hell, they didn't put a man on the moon until the late 60's! I mean, there was that whole thing with the space race and everything… this doesn't make sense! This is earth too, but it doesn't have the same history! Technology is different! Where did it change?"

"How? How is it different?" Heero asked. He seemed very perplexed and wanted to know what it was like where I came from. He wanted to make some sense out of what I was saying. I didn't blame him.

"Where I come from technology is advanced and all, only we don't have colonies and we don't have mobile suits. And that doesn't make sense because if I'm correct, then there are a lot of things we've advanced in our technology that _you _guys haven't, and yet you're well into the space exploration and population and large weapons of mass destruction…" I said all of this very quickly, and took a deep breath afterward. My headache began to throb harder now, and I leaned back against the bed post. I sighed heavily.

After a long moment of silence, I said quietly, "I guess… it's different because they really are different worlds. My trip here wasn't time travel. I completely jumped into an alternate universe. I need to realize that."

Heero didn't say anything in response, probably because he didn't know _what_ to say, and because he still didn't want to believe everything I had ended up proving to him.

Finally he asked, "How have you advanced in technology and not created colonies or mobile suits? Explain it to me."

"Well…" I started. "Hm… now that I think about… I'm not really sure. We have flat screen TV's, cell phones have really advanced over the past 20 years, and we've got things like text messengers. A lot of your stuff here is really bulky, and where I come from it's more sleek-looking and aerodynamic. I'm pretty sure things like vehicles and stuff is more advanced than what you have here. I don't know anymore. Everything's really confusing, it's all mixed up. Not to mention I'm not feeling well. It's hard to piece things together."

"Sorry." Heero said quietly, looking down at the floor. "You're right; you shouldn't have to be pushed so hard right now. But I'm going to ask you more questions once you feel better."

I smiled. "That's fine. I'd definitely say that I owe it to you…" Heero glanced at me momentarily, and then looked down at the floor again. I wasn't able to catch anything in his eyes. Finally I asked, "Where are my things?"

"In my room." Heero replied.

"…and where's that?"

"Next door." Heero pointed to where he had gone to get the thermometer. "That door is the bathroom, and then there's my room."

"So… that's a joint bathroom?" I asked. Heero nodded. "So… that means we're going to share a bathroom together?" Heero nodded again. I sighed and attempted to hold back the grin that started to spread across my face. "Well, this'll be interesting…"

Heero then narrowed his eyes at me. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing, nothing…" I blushed. "Please tell me the bathroom doors have locks…"

"Yeah…"

"Okay, good. Otherwise that'd lead to far too many embarrassing moments, I just know it."

Heero tried not to show a reaction to this, but I noticed a faint blush that started to creep across his cheeks. I reframed from making fun of him for it. For now. Right now, the task at hand was my stuff. "Why are my belongings in your room?" I demanded.

"I was looking at them." Heero replied nonchalantly.

"What exactly did you look at?" I asked.

"Everything." Heero replied. I recalled my sketchbook again, and groaned. I pulled the blankets over my head. "What?" Heero asked. Geez, you think the guy would catch on, considering my reaction last night…

"I'm embarrassed, what do you think?" I shot back from under the covers. Suddenly Heero pulled the covers down, exposing me again.

"Stop that." Heero scolded. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"No, I have a right to act out my embarrassment!" I replied. "Those drawings are humiliating!"

"_I'm_ the one you drew with random women…" Heero shot back.

"It was only two!" I said defensively.

"Three!" Heero said with just as much defiance as I. I looked at him confused. He glared at me with his blue eyes and I realized he was attempting to remind me, only he didn't want to explain it. Then he got up and left the room. A moment later, he came back with my sketchbook I reached for it, but he kept it away from me and flipped through its pages. I felt the heat in my cheeks rising. Finally he stopped on one and handed it to me (roughly, for emphasis.) It was the drawing of one of my made up characters running away with his clothes, and him running after her in nothing but a towel. Oops…

"Oh…" I replied. I made a note to burn this one when I got the chance.

"Yeah." Heero replied, crossing his arms. "Why are there so many drawings of me in there, anyway?"

"Because you're hair is the easiest to draw." I shot back, the blush never easing.

"You draw Trowa's hair just fine!" Heero accused.

"God, you're freaking dense!" I yelled at him. "Look, I'm an anime fangirl, alright? I'm bound to have a favorite!"

That shut Heero up _real_ quick. Finally he said, "Oh."

Great, Heero. Great freaking response. That makes me feel SO much better.

"Are you happy now? Do you think you've embarrassed me enough? Are we even? Can this be the end of it?" I snapped at him.

"I'm your favorite?" Heero asked finally. I wanted to scream.

"Oh my God… shut up, shut up, shut up!" I cried, covering my ears. I immediately ripped out the drawing that he had shown me. "Look, you were just my favorite because I thought you were really cool. That was part of the reason why I drew you with made up characters. You gotta realize that I'm a hopeless romantic. But seriously, it was also because your hair _is_ easy to draw, from any angle. If I try to draw Trowa from the side view with a girl, then it looks like he's going to poke her eye out. I'm not too great at drawing Duo's hair, because it's pulled back into that braid of his. Quatre's isn't easy either, and I can't draw Wufei to save my life." Heero looked skeptical at my reasoning.

Not to mention he looked uncomfortable. Not that I blame him, now that he realized what I thought of him. He didn't really know how to react to the news I've given him, and he looked like he wanted to leave. So I sighed and explained, "Listen. That was then, before I knew anything like this could _ever_ happen. Don't be weirded out or anything, 'cause my views have seriously changed. Now I don't have that whole 'favorite' thing because all of you people are real and all. Besides, I'm sure that now I have much more important things to think about."

Heero looked at me with deep skepticism again. I leaned forward slightly and looked him in the eyes and said, "If I'm to like you and your friends then it's going to have to be because I've gotten to _really_ know all of you. I mean that."

A knock on the door interrupted our… _discussion_. Duo poked his head in. "Yo, Heero! Breakfast is ready! You'd better get down there before I do, otherwise you're not going to have any!"

Heero stood up and left with the briefest of glances back at me. Duo paused then, and stared at me, as if debating to come in and bother me or to go down and eat first. As I expected, Duo's stomach replaced his brain, and he went down for breakfast, closing the door behind himself.

Damn it, this was going to be very difficult. Despite everything I told Heero, I knew that it would be a long while before I got over my stupid anime fan girl obsession and saw them like I should… as actual people. This was going to take some work because I had gotten my own idea of what each of them were like. Now I was here, and I had to try and get to know them without the influence of the images I had given them when they were cartoons. Even aside from that, I would never be able to turn my back on the entire GW fan thing because I still knew all about them.

I sighed and fell back onto the bed. I clutched my crumpled drawing in my hand and made note to burn it whenever I got my hands on some fire. Finally I took my Tylenol and lay down, looking around the room again.

There was a large closet opposite of me that took up the entire wall. In the far left corner was a large cushiony chair that had stuffed animals on it. To the far right corner was a small desk-type area. On top of the dark wood was a carousel music box. I sat up and noticed a chest at the foot of the bed. Again, to my right, I noticed the nightstand with the lavender lamp, and the bathroom door. To my left was another nightstand with a small stereo on it, and a bookshelf with lots of old children's books by the looks of it. The tall large window had a cushiony seat that reminded me of Disney's 'Peter Pan.' I sighed to myself.

Even though I felt crummy, I got up and walked to the window. I noticed that I was still in my clothes from yesterday, only my shoes were placed next to the end of the bed. Once I was at the window, I squinted in the blinding sunlight. Through the brightness, I noticed an extremely large backyard. If I could judge distances well, then I'd give you an estimate. Instead, I'll have to settle for "huge." The grass was perfectly cut and green, and in the center was a tall water fountain piece. I couldn't make out the figures at the top where water spilled down, sparkling in the light. Surrounding the entire property was a small grove of trees and bushes. I tried to peer down at the base of the house, and caught sight of an outdoor patio with white metal chairs, and Rose bushes running along the sides to both ends. It was really beautiful. The breeze moved the trees, especially the taller ones closer to the sides of the house. I opened the window, pushing the two halves of glass outward.

Immediately I felt the breeze, and I sighed with contentment. I sat myself on the ledge, leaning back against the indentation of the wall. Now if only I had my CD player with me. Only it was in Heero's room. I bit my lower lip.

Should I go get it? I _know_ he wouldn't want me in there without his permission, or his presence. But damn it, he shouldn't have my belongings! I stubbornly went into the joint bathroom, and paused once I got to Heero's door. First I knocked, and got no response. So I quietly opened the door.

I was surprised to see more stuff than I expected. But then again, this was Quatre's house. Heero had a large dresser, a full-size bed (I was using a twin), and a really nice desk if I poked my head in further, and looked to my right. On top of it was his ever-so-famous laptop, Heero's one true partner in practically all fanfics. He had nightstands on either side of his bed, one of which supported a small stereo.

And there was my backpack, at the foot of his bed. I quickly walked in, took it, and left. Once back into the safety of my own room, or what was to be my room for a while, I took out my CD player. I checked the CD's to see if he messed with them at all. He better not have scratched one, otherwise I'll hide his toothbrush. I would, too. No, I wouldn't. Not yet, at least.

So there I sat at the window, listening to Ani Difranco on one of my burned CD's that I made from my computer. I sang quietly to myself, and let her words wash over me, numbing me into a puddle of emotion that I focused on, instead of my current predicament.

It wasn't long before I was disturbed by Duo knocking on my door. Of course I didn't know it was Duo, and I didn't even hear him knocking because I had my music up so loud. I didn't notice him until he came up right next to me where I sat. When I did acknowledge him, I moved my legs to give him room on the ledge. He took a seat, and I took off my headphones. "Yes?" I asked.

"Quatre wants to know if you would like some soup. Thinking maybe it'll make ya feel better." Duo replied.

I laughed. "What, is Quatre trapped under something heavy and can't come ask me himself?"

"Nah, I just offered to come up and ask you, that's all…" Duo replied.

"Nah… I'm fine." I said, and looked out the window again. Duo still sat there. Staring at me. What _was_ it with these people and staring?

I looked at him with a look that said, '_what?_' Finally Duo asked, "Are you really sick?"

Good grief.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

Duo looked confused. "So that whole fainting episode last night…?"

"Was completely real, and quite frankly I think it should be understandable." I replied. "I'd like to see _you_ get thrown into another world and see how _you_ handle it!"

"Ya know…" Duo said finally. "I'm actually considering believing you, with all the stuff you've said. And I don't care how good of an actor you may be, you can't physically pretend you're sick…"

I smiled. "Yeah? Hey, thanks! That makes me feel better."

"But I still say it's more likely to be a conspiracy…" Duo added, a little more serious. "The only thing that may support your story is that you did seem to just appear in the car, you've been able to recite events, and you've convinced Heero. Not to mention you have your stuff that shows what time you're from."

I looked back at him. What was I to say?

Duo continued talking. "You know, it's much more realistic that your things could have been made. And you could have been given the information that you have…"

"And recited past memories?" I replied. "That would mean there would have to be a video camera with sound hidden everywhere, following you guys _everywhere_."

"It's more likely than you coming from an alternate universe." Duo replied. "But then again it doesn't make sense why you would try and convince us with such a crazy story. And again, you're sick now. Quatre says it's because of stress."

"He couldn't be more correct." I replied with a dry laugh. Inside I wanted to scream. How many more times did I have to go over this whole thing?

Duo laughed then and shrugged with his hands up. "Eh," he said. "Maybe this just takes a little faith. Maybe miracles do happen." I rolled my eyes. Miracle, one would think… Obviously not turning out to be the case here…

Then there was silence again. Duo started staring at me again, and I tried to ignore it, only it's really hard to stop looking at violet eyes. It really looked awesome. See, in this reality they _we're_ anime, only their eyes weren't as large. And their hair looked more real instead of clumped together in sections. And their eyes had individual eyelashes like real people, and tear ducts like normal people… it was very strange. Whatever the case, the realness of it made me feel better, like I wasn't so much in the Twilight Zone. Still, he was looking at me really weird.

"What?" I finally asked.

"Your eyes are really strange." Duo said finally. I looked at him weirdly. "No really!" he insisted. "You wear color contacts, right?"

I shook my head. "They're real…" I replied.

"Seriously?" Duo exclaimed. He got really close to me and peered into my eyes. "Wow, I guess you're right! With contacts you can tell the color is fake. I've never ever seen your kind of eyes before. I mean, there's never been one person with two colors at once."

"Hazel." I replied. "My eyes are called hazel. It's a mix between brown and green, and sometimes even a little bit of blue."

"There's nothing like that here, no such thing." Duo replied. "I think that's partly why I'm starting to believe you."

"Yeah, well where I come from, no one has purple eyes." I explained. Duo look puzzled by this, as if I was saying there was no such thing as pizza. "We have brown, blue, green, hazel, and black, and gray. That's it. They can go off into their own lights and darks, but no other colors. Well, except for albinos… their eyes are red."

"Geez, is that it? That's really boring!" Duo replied. I shrugged.

"Not too bad for us, really. Although you could get color contacts…" I said. "But my eye color is real, and I've never felt like changing it. Not a lot of people have hazel eyes…" Duo seemed intrigued by this, and kept staring at my eyes. I began to blush, because it was embarrassing to have him constantly trying to look me in the eyes.

"You know…" Duo finally said. "They're pretty, but kinda creepy too…"

I lightly socked Duo on the arm. "Hey! Geez, thanks a lot!"

There was a knock on the door then, and Quatre came in. "Hello!" he said amiably. "I hope you're feeling better… why aren't you in bed?"

I smiled at him. "Just looking at your immaculate yard and talking to Duo."

"Duo, you were supposed to just ask her about the soup, not to bother her…" Quatre scolded, though his voice was kind. Then he said to me, "Please, Miss Lynn… you should be in bed."

I sighed, but decided to listen to Quatre, who only seemed to be looking out for my well-being. I got under the covers, and realized how comfortable the bed was now that I was lying down. My head was throbbing, my nose was becoming stuffy, and my stomach hurt. I hoped to get over this soon. Not a great way to start things off, that's for sure.

"Please don't call me miss… that's too formal for me." I laughed.

"Alright, but just stay in bed and get better." Quatre replied.

He turned to leave, but Duo stopped him and exclaimed, "Hold up! Hey, Quatre what do you think of her eyes?" Duo pointed at me for emphasis, and I stared at him. "They're real! No color contacts!"

"Really?" Quatre asked interested. He looked at me, and smiled. "I think they're very nice! I like them." My smile widened. God, Quatre was a sweetheart.

"But no one has eyes like that!" Duo insisted. "Her eyes don't exist!"

"Hm… that's true." Quatre said, pondering. Then he said lightly, "Well maybe Lynn's telling the truth. How can someone have something that doesn't exist, and still be from here? Come on, Duo. Stop staring at her, it's rude. Let her rest. Goodbye Lynn, I'll come in and check on you later." I don't know if he believed what he said, but whatever the case it made me feel better, like my story is a bit justified by something I have no control over. Makes me want to say, 'If ya don't believe me, then look at my _real_ hazel eyes! Mwahahahaha! Take that, you pessimistic people!'

And with a wave of his hand, Quatre left, dragging Duo behind him. Duo waved to me too, and threw me a wink. "Feel better, cutie…" he said, and closed the door. I smiled softly, and closed my eyes to rest.


	4. Guess who I get to meet?

**Chapter 4: Guess who _I_ get to meet?**

By the next day I was feeling much better. The sickness went away, and amazingly enough, some of the shock of my event wore off.

So it was appropriate that I began to notice things, like I had worn the same clothes for the past two days. I was in desperate need of a shower, and I had no clothes to change into. The closets of my new room were empty, since I'm guessing the room hadn't been used in a long while. Which may not have made a difference anyway, because this was obviously a child's room at one point.

So I brought up the issue to Quatre in a subtle manner.

"Quatre… I need clothes. I need to shower, and I have nothing clean to change into. What am I gonna do?" I asked him, when I ran into him at the bottom of the stairs.

Quatre looked a bit surprised by this, and for a moment I was afraid that people here really DID wear the same clothes constantly. But instead he said, "Oh, that's right! I'm sorry that slipped my mind, Lynn. I can take you shopping now, if you'd like…"

Wow, he's just gonna take me shopping? JUST LIKE THAT? SWEET! I thought about this. Go out in public feeling completely grungy and stuff? Did I have much of a choice? Not like I had many options… not like I could borrow one of the guys' clothes or something… I laughed to myself at the thought of having to ask Heero to lend me his tank top and spandex. Quatre looked at me weirdly.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Hehe…" I giggled. "Just had a funny mental picture, that's all…"

Quatre paused, but didn't say any more. Too bad, I wanted to see his reaction to my thought.

So, since I couldn't settle for a shower, I washed my hair in the bathroom sink. Both of the bathroom doors were open, so I could see into my room and Heero's. Not that I cared, I was trying to keep the shampoo out of my eyes. Good thing I have short hair, otherwise it'd keep going down the drain and that's gross.

But Heero found this intriguing. He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, and peering at me. The slight amusement in his eyes was somewhat hidden by the bangs of his hair. I tried to ignore him, while at the same time trying to keep myself from assuming a humiliating position. Nothing really compares to a hot guy standing in the doorway while you wash your hair in the sink with your butt in the air…

Why the hell was he watching me anyway? Shouldn't life be more fascinating than watching me wash my hair?

While I towel dried my hair I stared him down in the mirror. He didn't like that, he looked away. Finally I turned around and faced him.

"What? What is it?" I asked finally. I shook my head. "Never mind. Do you have a brush?"

Heero raised an eyebrow at me, and I stared at his hair. Perhaps I was asking the wrong person…? But he gave an exasperated sigh, and opened the drawer to my left where there was a comb, a brush, and a collection of men's razors. I never ever pictured Heero having to shave. EVER. I stared at it for a moment, then with a muttered 'thank you,' I took the brush. It repeatedly came to my attention that my hair smelled like men's shampoo. I smelled like Heero. I tried not to think about it.

I was anxious to get downstairs and avoid the oh-so-omnipresent-Heero. Quatre was waiting for me, and… so was Duo. I turned around and noticed Heero walking down the stairs after me, his hands in his pockets.

"How many people does it take to go buy me some clothes?" I asked finally.

"Hey, I just need to get out of the house…" Duo said jovially with his hands behind his head.

I looked at Heero. "…and your excuse? No offense, I just thought that Quatre was gonna take me, get my clothes, and then just come back."

"You seem like the talking type, I still need to make sure you won't saying anything… unnecessary." Heero replied.

"Wow, your trust is overwhelming…" I muttered. "Whatever, more merry company. Lets get going then!"

So we went to the mall, and it was huge. It was amazing… I was in heaven. I never really have money to shop, but I still love to do it. And Quatre made it perfectly clear to me that there was no thing that was too expensive. I wondered if I should make him regret that choice…. Hehehe…

Well, I'm not that mean, and Quatre's a sweetheart. So I was careful. In fact I felt guilty letting him spend so much money on me. Of course to him it didn't even make a dent in his wallet. But what am I supposed to do? I need clothes, right?

Throughout our entire time there, I kept noticing Heero looking around, checking our surroundings with a suspicious eye. Finally, Heero noticed that I kept looking at him. "What?" he asked.

"Try to be a bit more inconspicuous, ya? You're a bit obvious…" I told him. He looked a little surprised by this, but he didn't say anything. I wanted to ask what he was being so paranoid about, but I knew it wasn't the time and place.

This got me thinking. Why the hell were Heero and Duo staying with Quatre anyway? I knew they were both perfectly well enough to take care of themselves. This seemed more like the beginnings of a safety in numbers sort of thing. For a moment that explained Heero and Duo's paranoia in the car when I first met them, but that idea was quickly scratched. Obviously they'd act like that, I was in their car. Not to mention they're ex-gundam pilots, so no matter what they'll be on their guard as long as someone wants them dead, which will always be the case.

By the end of the day, in late afternoon when the setting sun cast long shadows, I was tired. The others looked it too. I had so many bags of clothes that I could hardly believe it.

I was still chuckling over the ordeal of having to get my under garments. Heero, who had insisted on following me everywhere short of the changing rooms and the women's bathroom, paused outside the underwear/bra/lingerie store called the Pica Boo Boutique. He stood outside staring up at the title, and then stared at me with a very obvious blush on his cheeks. I couldn't help but grin at him, because he looked so hilariously vulnerable. Quatre had entered with me, which was brave of him, considering the skimpy sex garments surrounding him. He was slightly blushing himself, and was careful to keep his eyes either on me, Heero, or the floor. Duo was off somewhere else, deciding to do some of his own shopping in order to escape this exact situation.

"I think I'll wait out here…" Heero said finally, after swallowing momentarily.

I couldn't help but laugh. I couldn't help but tease him, either. "Well, if I ever need to fend you off, I know what to do it with…"

Heero's eyes widened, and I immediately shut my mouth. The split second before he made himself look stoic, I could tell that I had given him ideas. Whether it was ideas of me, I wasn't sure of. I didn't want to know. Actually, I did, but I wasn't about to ask. Heero cleared his throat and turned around to keep watch at the entrance.

"You are a cruel woman, Lynn…" Quatre grinned. I grinned back sheepishly.

I suppressed from giggling to myself, although I couldn't suppress the grin. As we carried in my large bags from numerous stores, Heero shot me a piercing glare. I tried not to grin as much, although I knew that he knew exactly what I was grinning about.

Once everything was in my room, I began to hang up my new belongings. Apparently, I was going to stay here for a very long while. Quatre spoiled me like a child on Halloween. I had put one of my CD's in the old CD player, and sang along to Bitch by Meredith Brooks.

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint… I do not feel ashamed! I'm your health, I'm your dream… I'm nothin' in between you know you wouldn't want it any other way!" I sang, dancing to the music while I hung up two pairs of pants on one hangar.

When I turned around, I noticed Duo standing in my doorway. "What the heck are you listening to?" he asked.

"Music!" I replied.

"Rrrriiiiiggggghhhhttt….." Duo said, scratching his head. "Well, we're gonna have a big dinner, Quatre's friend Trowa is coming over. But then again you already know who Trowa is, don't you?"

I gave a weak grin. "uh… yeah…"

Duo shook his head. "This is weird…" he muttered. "Well," he continued. "I suggest you get ready for dinner."

Once he left the room, I placed my hands on my hips. "So I get to meet, Trowa, eh?" I said to myself. "I wonder how they're going to explain my presence here…"

Freshly clothed and one shower later, I began to walk slowly down the stairs. By this point in time I was feeling a bit nervous to actually meet Trowa. Were they going to tell him that I knew everything that I knew? Or were they going to make something up? I had no idea what I was to expect, and I didn't know what I was suppose to say if Trowa decided to ask me certain questions. Well, only one way to do this… wing it!

I took my steps slowly and carefully. I was freshly dressed in a black sleeveless turtleneck, a loose creamy off-white skirt that went down to my knees, and black sandals. By the time I reached the dining room, everyone was already getting ready to sit down for dinner. And there, in all his skinny tight-jeaned glory, stood Trowa. He was much taller than the cartoon made him out to be, especially since they've all grown a few more inches since Endless Waltz. Whatever the case, Trowa definitely reached about 5' 9"-5'11"… he was just under six feet. And he was gorgeous, of course. The green of his eyes really got my attention.

I straightened my shirt a little in the presence of these 4 young men, and gave an uneasy smile. Heero looked up at me from the paper he was reading, and Duo whistled. Quatre turned and leaned out of the kitchen to see me.

"Well, well…" Duo said. "You dress up nicely…"

"Thanks…" I replied.

At that moment, Quatre called me into the kitchen. "I need some help getting the plates all served, Lynn…"

I went into the kitchen, giving a slight wave to Trowa. I leaned over the five empty plates, while Quatre began to hand me pots full of food to serve onto them. Green beans, rice, baked potatoes, and steak. My stomach growled in protest of having to wait a couple more minutes to eat.

While we prepared the food, Quatre whispered to me, "You're suppose to be my second cousin, alright? You're here because you need a place to stay while you start to get your life started."

"Oook…." I replied. "What if he asks anything else? Like where I'm from? The name of my parents? Facts that I really don't know?"

"I'll fill that part in myself." Quatre whispered back.

"Do you think we'd ever tell him the truth?" I replied.

"Probably… perhaps… I don't know." Quatre admitted. "Whatever the case, it's not something to be discussed over dinner…"

"Good point." I grinned.

While Quatre told me all of this, Duo was talking to Trowa, keeping him occupied from listening in. Heero, however, probably caught every word of it. I got the mental picture of him having dog ears like Inuyasha and having them twitch upon hearing us talking.

Once we all sat down, that was when Quatre introduced me. "Trowa, this is my second cousin, Lynn. She's come all the way from the U.S. to stay with me for a while."

"Nice to meet you." Trowa said to me. "Where in the U.S. have you come from?"

"California." I replied simply.

"What brings you here to stay with Quatre?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "Just needed to get away, I guess… Always wanted to live somewhere completely new, only I've always been afraid of being by myself while I try and start things on my own, ya know?" Damn, I hope I was being convincing!

"Interesting…" Trowa replied. He looked at Quatre. "I've never heard you mention her before."

Quatre chuckled. "That's no surprise… you know how big just my _immediate_ family is!"

"True…" Trowa said quietly.

So dinner passed by safely, without any problems. Afterward I washed the dishes while Duo dried for me. Trowa, Quatre, and Heero walked around the large house/mansion. Duo and I kept playing around with the bubbles of the dish soap, until we had a big sopping mess that we kept slipping on. We were both cracking up. While I was laughing, I could hardly breath and my feet slipped out from under me. I crashed into Duo, and thankfully he caught me without falling down himself. This only caused us to crack up even MORE, and the entire scene was stupidly hilarious.

Through my laughter I choked out, "We should clean this up!"

"Yeah, Quatre'll have a cow if he sees this…" Duo replied. I couldn't help but crack up again because that gave me a hilarious and horrible mental picture. Duo caught on, and there we were…. Laughing our asses off again. It was just one of those times where just the stupidest thing can be absolutely hilarious, and the more you try to be serious, the more funny everything is.

I love times like that.

Quatre, however, did not. When he came back into the dining room with Trowa and Heero behind him, his jaw dropped. That sobered us up really quick.

"We'll clean it up!" I said before Quatre could get his mouth to work. Trowa and Heero both looked completely astounded by mine and Duo's display.

So Duo and I got towels and placed them on the floor. I showed Duo my way of doing things… by standing on the towel and "skating" across the floor.

Meanwhile, the other three sat at the dining table, talking to each other, every now and then looking at Duo and me and shaking their heads.

They may have thought that I was too busy having fun to listen, but I caught some of what they were saying.

"It's not a good idea to let her stay here…" Trowa said quietly.

"She doesn't have anywhere else to stay." Quatre replied.

"Rent an apartment for her. I know you can afford it." Trowa persisted.

Suddenly, Heero responded. I attempted to focus on the dishes, pretending to bob my head to a melody in my head. "Kuso…" Heero muttered. "Sending her away from Quatre's supervision will make her more vulnerable to be captured or placed in danger somehow. They'll find out a relative of his is staying nearby, and they'll take action."

I didn't hear any more, because then Duo caught my attention. "Hey… done now? I think you've definitely wiped the counter clean by now…"

"Oh… well, what can I say… I'm a perfectionist when I clean." I replied.

Who were "They?" I knew they were talking about me, but what were they so concerned about? I need to know, ASAP so that I can be on my guard for something or someone specific. Obviously, there's much that hasn't been told to me yet, and I needed to know… for my own safety.


	5. Who are 'they' ?

**Chapter 5: Who are 'they'?**

The next day, all of the guys left. Yes, they left. But before they left, Quatre let me know where they were going. Turns out they're going to meet Wufei somewhere to talk about… "business", whatever the hell that means. Whatever the case, I do know that he's a Preventer and I'm guessing his occupation in that has something to do with this "business." So Quatre left me his cell phone number, while Heero looked very unhappy about the prospect of leaving me by myself.

Not that I'd be in danger, oh no. That's not Heero's reasoning. It's because he doesn't trust me, and thinks I'll try and do something when they're gone, probably contact some enemy or something berserk like that. Whatever the case, I rolled my eyes at him.

"Heero, you need to chill." I said finally. "Nothing's going to happen, I have nothing devious to do, except maybe put whipped cream in all of your spandex shorts…"

He gave me this appalled look, as if he was taking me seriously. Duo and Quatre, on the other hand, found it hilarious. Even Trowa looked intrigued. By the end of that whole thing I was sure that I set a humiliating stage for Heero for the rest of the day. He was never going to hear the end of it. I was more than positive that he couldn't wait to get away from me; and yet, there was still my looming threat to his beloved spandex…

So finally, here I was… with nothing to do in a humongous mansion/house type place. So what's the first thing I'm going to do? Actually the first thing I did was eat. But after that, I started to look around all of the rooms in the house, minus the guys' bedrooms.

Turns out that the door next to the bottom of the stairs led into an office or a study. There were tall mahogany bookshelves, and there was a really fancy mahogany desk that had a classic European look to it.

Okay, cool. Turns out there was a room attached to that one, and it had to have been the most opposite type of room to be put next to a study. It was a training room! Yup. Not really surprised, actually. All of the typical weight training equipment was there in that room. Mirrors were on one side of it. On the opposite end of the weight training room were two doorways, both of them saying Locker Room. Once I entered it, I realized that it was rather small. I walked through and came out on the other end into _another_ room, finding the greatest thing of all…. A huge pool.

It was an indoor pool, surrounded by glass walls and ceiling like a greenhouse. When I felt the water it was warm. Ahh… a heated pool. I could get use to this. Then I remembered that of all of the clothing I got, a bathing suit was not included. Oh well. I'll go in my clothes, I've done it before.

But swimming will have to wait for later. I wasn't done exploring yet. Without having any of the guys practically breathing down my neck as they keep an eye on me, I was free to roam where I wanted.

Well, reasonably.

I went through all of the previous rooms and came back to the stairs. Then I went to the door on the opposite side of the living room, and looked in there.

It was an entertainment room. There was an entire entertainment system, complete with a large screen TV, VCR, a fancy stereo system… the works. I was depressed to see that they had yet to come out with DVD's. Hopefully that would be soon. There was a large comfy looking couch in front of the entertainment system. I leaned over the couch and was able to see some sort of game system sitting on the floor. Perpendicular to this, to my right, was a rather nice looking computer, though it was still bulky and old-fashioned looking compared to the stuff of today. Well, the today of MY world…

I opened some of the small doors at the bottom of the entertainment system and found all of the movies. There wasn't anything I really recognized, and most of it was in Japanese (go figure…)

I noticed another door at the wall where the computer was, to the computer's right. I walked over and opened it, looked in and saw a short hall. On the left side was a door leading into a bathroom, and at the end of the hall I found the music room.

A beautiful white grand piano sat in the middle of the room, while off to the side against the wall rested a cabinet with other instruments. There was a violin of course, a viola, a flute, a clarinet, and even an oboe.

My attention was more towards the piano. Back at home I had a keyboard, and I took piano class in my last year of high school. We didn't learn much, but I know enough to read notes on a page… very slowly. So I walked over to it, and sat down on the seat.

I pressed the keys sort of aimlessly, and then noticed the sheet music that was on display to be played. It was way too complicated for my limited abilities, and the title was… once again… in Japanese. Still, I followed the right hand at a slow pace, and a really pretty melody began to develop. It reminded me of some of the Yanni stuff that I'd listen to, like One Man's Dream. Yes. That's exactly what this reminded me of.

Wondering what else Quatre had, I stood up and lifted the lid of the seat. There were booklets and booklets of sheet music, and also some papers that had scribbles of random melodies, things that maybe Quatre himself had thought up. I was happy to find some easy stuff to play, and I pulled it out, looking at it. I set it down over the sheet music in front of me, and began to test it out.

It's amazing how fast time flies when you're enjoying yourself. I don't know how long I was in that room, but it must have been a while. I tend to lose myself real easily to music, and things like going swimming were completely forgotten.

I had finally gotten tired of playing from the booklet, and did little numbers that I already knew in order to loosen up. I began to play the piano interlude to Clubbed to Death from the Matrix.

"I didn't know you could play…" said a voice behind me.

I nearly jumped out of my skin.

I spun around to see Quatre standing behind me in the doorway. A moment later Trowa appeared.

"I see you found her." Trowa said to him.

"Obviously…" I said. "How long were you there?"

Quatre smiled. "Long enough to hear you play." He walked into the room then, and sat next to me at the piano, where I made room for him. "I didn't know you could play." he repeated.

I looked at my hands. "I can't really… I just fiddle around I guess."

"It sounded like more than just fiddling. Could you play it again?" he asked me. I looked at Trowa for some sort of help, and naturally I got none.

"Uh… okay… but I'm going to mess up since I have an audience." I replied.

So I played it, and surprisingly, I didn't mess up. Both of them seemed impressed, while I felt a little embarrassed.

"Do you think you could play it again?" Trowa asked me. I was a little surprised by this, but I complied.

"Uh… sure, I suppose… I have a problem with the tempo though…"

"That's alright." Trowa replied as he walked to the cabinet. He took the flute and violin and handed the violin to Quatre.

"Good idea, Trowa!" Quatre exclaimed.

"Not a good idea." I said. "I'm going to mess everyone up and then I'll feel stupid."

"Don't be so negative." Quatre scolded lightly. He put his violin under his chin.

"Just let it flow out of you." Trowa added simply, as he put the flute to his lips. I blushed.

So I played it again… and halfway through I messed up. So we tried it again, after I berated myself enough times. I messed up a _second _time, and began to feel very foolish. It really makes a person just want to quit and go do something very simple like eating a sandwich. After they pressured me enough, I tried it a third time, and this time I kept my eyes on the keys and didn't pay attention to their presence as much.

And it came out beautifully. It was fun, too. I sort of laughed when we'd find an uneasy part, but they're naturals with their instruments of choice, so it sounded really good for first-time improvising. The piece is short, but it was very, very nice and I like how it sounded so much, that instead of stopping I repeated it again. Once we were done, I heard clapping from the doorway. I spun around and saw Duo and Heero standing there. Duo was the one giving the enthusiastic applaud, while Heero probably literally clapped three times and stopped. Obviously he's not one to give loud praise.

"Wow, man! Where'd that come from?" Duo asked the three of us.

"Ask her." Trowa said, nodding at me. "We heard her playing it when we came in."

I shrugged. "Just something I practiced a lot back home."

"Have you been in here the whole time?" Heero asked.

I nodded. "Yeah… after looking around at all the rooms first… minus the bedrooms of course."

Quatre put away the instruments then came back and sat down next to me. "What else can you play?"

"Nothing." I replied quickly. It was a lie… I could play a couple of other things, one of which I made up myself. But I wasn't about to share it with anyone. Instead I changed the subject. "How did your meeting with Wufei go?"

"It went well." Trowa replied.

I wanted to ask them what exactly was going on that seemed to be so important and so dangerous, but there were four of them and one of me, and it made me feel a bit uneasy. I decided to wait.

And I did wait, until I was alone with only one of them. Unfortunately the one I ended up being alone with was Heero. We had just finished eating dinner, and I was sitting at the dining table just… thinking. About everything, and there was definitely a lot to think about.

Naturally, Heero thought this would be a good time to bother me by sitting perpendicular to me and just… _being_ there. Now don't get me wrong, though Heero IS a butt, I do love 'im and all. But when someone like _that_ just sits there and doesn't directly interact with you, then it can certainly rattle your nerves. Why can't he just be like a normal person and say, "hey, what's up?" or "what's wrong?" instead of just sitting there waiting for his person of choice to become uncomfortable enough to speak? Damn him because his tactic works.

Finally I said, "You're intruding on my thinking time."

Heero gave me that glare of his. "Something's bothering you. What is it?"

"I just told you." I said defiantly, and put my chin up a little.

He narrowed his pretty blue eyes at me. "What's _really_ wrong?"

I sighed a little and slumped back into my chair. "What's going on?" I finally asked him. "Because here I am, stuck in this place, and you guys have to keep on talking to Preventers and everything, and you're all under the same roof, and the whole thing is very suspicious. So if something's up, then I should be in on it too so that I could be on my guard as best as I can, especially if I'm going to be by myself a lot."

"You really have no idea what's going on?" Heero asked in amazement.

"Not really…" I replied. "I mean, I can make assumptions… like I think you guys are in some sort of danger… like there's some group out there that wants all of your heads on a platter because of your history and all of that. So you sort of have a safety in numbers thing going on, and you're working with the Preventers like Sally and Wufei to find a way to disarm and capture these guys, probably with as minimal casualties as possible, since we've got the whole peace thing going on."

Heero looked impressed. "Yeah… pretty much. This little organization has been building up underground. Mostly veterans and family and friends that have lost people they love because of us."

I looked at him softly. "That must weigh heavily on all of you."

Heero looked away slightly, but didn't respond to it. He didn't have to. Instead he explained, "Negotiations are out of the question. They don't want to compromise with us or anyone that's on our side."

"That really makes things difficult when you have all kinds of rules to keep peace." I said. I stretched out my arms with my fingers interlocked. "Yeah… that's why I think complete peace is a fallacy."

Heero gave me this look, and I said, "Don't get me wrong, I'm a pacifist myself… but more of a passive-aggressive pacifist I suppose. I just more or less support the idea that there has to be bad for there to be good. You can't have peace without some battles. First off it takes away from its meaning, and second off it keeps people from taking things like that for granted."

A sort of light came into Heero's eyes. These kind of discussions were his thing, I could tell. Perhaps it's because he doesn't have to talk about himself. Or maybe it was a way if _indirectly_ talking about himself, who knows.

"I see it that way too." he replied. "But it's best to keep peace as much as you can. That way no more people have to fight than is necessary, and less people will die."

"Sometimes that number can change depending on the circumstances." I replied. Then a thought crossed my mind. "Does this organization know who all of you are? Do they know Quatre's an ex-gundam pilot? How dangerous is it really to have everyone under the same roof if this place is under Quatre's name?"

"They don't know all of us." I heard Quatre say behind me. I spun around.

"Nice entrance!" I replied with a grin. He smiled back.

"Some of the paper work that OZ had when they had captured us was lost when the factories and bases were torn down by order of ESUN, to ensure that no one else tried to use them again. Not to mention Wufei and Sally were able to get rid of any information that was saved." Quatre explained.

"Then how would they be able to figure out you guys are the gundam pilots?" I asked.

"Because," Quatre said as he sat down next to me. "People have connections, not to mention that Wufei and Sally can't clean up everything all at once. They know a couple of us by appearance, like Duo for example."

"Yeah, that's because the baka got his face all over wanted posters…" Heero muttered. I grinned at him.

"If they knew who I was," Quatre explained, "then they would have already tried something, since I'm such a large and easy target with my father's business and my large family." A shadow of worry crossed his face, but it passed quickly. "Whatever the case, I put the ownership of this place and its history under a different name, and the defense system is state of the art." He patted my hand. "Don't worry, Lynn. You're safe."

"It pays to be able to hack, doesn't it?" I teased.

The corner of Quatre's mouth came up just the slightest in the most adorable grin. I was hoping I wasn't blushing.


	6. And it's off to the Circus we go

**Chapter 6: And it's off to the Circus we go…**

Alright. Now I've read many fanfics during my GW obsession, and in every single one every character has a purpose in something, and is included into some dire importance. I'm talking about fanfics that have original characters, by the way. I'm so use to reading characters that have a direct importance in any involvement with the Gundam Pilots. All of those ideas are FALSE. Just because you may know the gundam pilots, doesn't mean that you're going to have a huge role… in _anything_.

I say this because it has been a week or so since I've been here, and I have not participated in ANYTHING except eating at the same table with everyone, and having to share a bathroom with Heero.

That's about it.

Which is probably a good thing, when you think about it… imagine the confusion I could cause by trying to include myself into this whole thing concerning that underground organization.

But that means that I've been cooped up inside this stupid house now for a freaking week, with barely a blink of sunlight, minus what comes in through my bedroom window. The guys are always away trying to figure out how to handle the problem at hand.

Even with the addition of Trowa living here now, it doesn't make it any better. A couple days after he had dinner with us, he brought a very small amount of belongings and occupied the room between me and Quatre.

You'd think more people would make it more interesting.

Not the case here, oh no. Can't have that. Especially when it's someone who's nearly as quiet as Heero. Naturally I get stuck like a sandwich between the two most unsociable people, while the fun ones, Quatre and Duo, are out of my reach room-wise. I'd have to sneak out my room and past _Trowa_ before I could even reach Quatre if I ever wanted to. I couldn't go knock on anyone's door if it's late at night and I have nothing to do. I'm sure Duo could entertain me if I can't sleep (in a completely non-hentai way, though the thought is nice...)

I wonder what kind of board games they have here? I bet they have Monopoly. Every world with some sort of society remotely close to my Earth's has Monopoly.

So here I was, alone in the house again, and as bored as ever. I was planning to go outside today and try to draw, but I woke up to ominous dark clouds. I had gotten up to an empty house, and what felt like an empty morning. I didn't even bother to change out of my flannel PJ's, since they kept me warm against the cold outside that seemed to come in through every nook and cranny.

I had made myself bagels with cream cheese and jelly for breakfast. I took it into the entertainment room, and sat down to watch some TV. I channel hopped, and to my sadness everything was in Japanese. I watched some of what looked like a soap opera, but I got bored very quickly. I didn't know how to find anything that was in English, and I didn't understand how to use the remote besides the up and down arrows for volume and channels, and the power button.

I looked at the games Quatre had, and most of them looked like those really fun fighting games like Dead Or Alive, or Tekken 3. Problem is that I didn't know how to plug everything in so it could work.

Even the use of the computer was against me! It required a username and password to log on, and I obviously didn't know it. The guys usually didn't come home until way later, so by that time I always forget to ask them about these things.

So my favorite place has been in the music room. There are a couple of chairs and a small table along with the cabinet and the piano. The small resting place is right next to the window that overlooks the yard.

That's where I decided to sit, with some stolen computer paper so that I could draw. I had taken the packet of colored pencils from my backpack in my room, along with my CD player with all of my CD's, and sat down in one of the chairs. I had made myself a cup of hot chocolate (much to my dismay, there were no marshmallows) and I set that on the table.

I listened to my instrumental CD, mostly of stuff from Joe Hisaishi. He did music for Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and Kiki's Dilivery Service (just to name a few.)

And while I listened, I drew. The clouds outside made the day look dark and gloomy, but I've always liked that sort of feeling for some reason. I've never seen it as something unpleasant… instead it's always been a sign of solitude for me. And I like solitude very much. I leaned my head back and stared outside, just as small droplets began to hit the window.

I woke up to Duo shaking me awake.

"Good morning, sunshine…" he grinned at me. "Well, actually it'd be afternoon."

I rubbed my eyes and gurgled nonsense. Duo snickered at me, and I socked him on his arm. "Shut up, you. What time is it?" I asked, as I sat up and rubbed at my stiff neck and shoulders.

"I thought you just told me to shut up," Duo teased.

"Okay, shut up UNLESS I ask you a question." I shot back, grinning. "Now what time is it?"

"Three in the afternoon." Duo replied, as he picked up my drawing and looked at it. It was nothing fascinating, just an anime angel with her hair and wings blowing in the wind. "That's really good…"

"Thanks." I replied. "I'm glad my talent didn't disappear when I came here, because what I'm drawing is different. You know, cartoon to reality, it's pretty strange."

"yeah… I forget every now and then about that, so it weirds me out all over again when you remind me."

"Yeah me too." I laughed. "So what are you guys doing here so early?"

"Wufei and Sally couldn't give as much time as they usually do. Some riot broke out near here that they had to go take care of." He said offhandedly.

"Oh, okee dokee then…" I shrugged. "When do I get to meet Wufei?" I asked.

Duo shrugged in return. "I dunno… I guess when he either drags his rear over here for once, or we go out somewhere on a time that doesn't concern business. What we're talking about is classified, and all, so we can't have any other worlders listening in…" he teased.

"I'm sensing some discrimination!" I teased back. I stood up and stretched. "Is there anything we can go do?" I asked him. "I've been cooped up for a week, I'm feeling like a hermit."

"We as in you and me?" Duo asked. Then he got this really sly grin. "Why, Lynn, had I known you were so forward…"

I shoved him. "Punk…"

"Actually, we are planning to go somewhere today." Duo told me. I looked up into his violet eyes expectantly. "Trowa's performing today."

"Oh! Are you _serious?_ That's so cool!" I said, jumping up and down. "I get to come right?"

"Uhh…. Nah, I don't think so…" Duo said looking away slightly.

I pouted. Duo started laughing. "I'm just playin', of course you're coming! In fact on the way back from our meeting, I was telling Heero how he should let you get out more."

"Oh yeah?" I replied. "His reaction?"

"Not happy, of course…" Duo grinned. We started walking out of the music room and through the small hallway. "He pouted… well, not literally. But close enough."

I noticed us walking out of the entertainment room, and remembered wanting to know how to hook stuff up and all of that. "Hey, Duo!"

"Yeah, babe?" he replied, turning around. I poked him in his stomach.

"Don't call me babe. Are there any channels in English? And how do you hook up the game system and stuff like that? 'Cause I have nothing to do here."

"Oh, you don't know how?"

I rolled my eyes. "If I _knew_ then I wouldn't be asking, now would I?"

"Amazing how that works…" Duo mumbled, stroking his chin. "Alright, here's how it works. It's really easy…"

Two hours later I was knowledgeable in the ways of entertainment appliances, and I was ready to go. To the circus. I've never been to an actual circus. This would be an adventure.

I was wearing olive green cargo pants, and a gray long-sleeved shirt with olive green sleeves. I was already wearing my coat, and sitting on the edge of the sofa ready to go. We still had 15 minutes to half an hour to go.

What was taking the guys so long…?

Heero came down first, looking like his usual self.

"How long have you been ready?" he asked me.

"Long enough for it to bug me…" I replied. "What's taking Quatre and Duo so long?"

"I think they're both taking showers." Heero replied, sitting down as far away from me on the couch as possible. Obviously, he's still uncomfortable with me, not that I blame him. Still, it stung a little.

I stood up to take my mind off of it. "I'm going to go check on them."

Heero shrugged, and I attempted not to roll my eyes at him in annoyance. Just let it slide… I hurried up the stairs to avoid his eyes. I could feel them stabbing my back. I've never run up those stairs that fast.

I knocked on Quatre's door first, since it was nearest.

"C-Come in…!" I heard his muffled voice call.

I opened the door a crack and looked in. This was my first time seeing Quatre's room. The furniture was really ornate, complete with a four-post oak bed and everything. Only it was a mess. Drawers were open, clothes strewn everywhere. Apparently, even the sweetest guys are very messy.

And there was Quatre, his white-pink shirt buttoned only halfway, displaying a chest I didn't think he had. But then again, he IS a gundam pilot…

"Lynn!" Quatre exclaimed. "I didn't think it was you!" He frantically buttoned up the rest of his shirt, turning his back to me in the process, and straightening his collar.

"Ah! Sorry, sorry… Want me to leave?" I asked, shading my eyes and looking down at my shoes.

"No, it's okay, I'm presentable now…" Quatre replied. "Dang it, I can't find my purple vest! Where did it go?" He lifted up the covers on the side of his bed and looked underneath.

"Quatre… Why do you wear pink shirts and purple vests?" I blurted out.

"Well…" he said, struggling with the clothing in his closet. "It's partly courtesy of my sisters. They like to see me wearing it, and there's always a chance I'll bump into one of them. Besides," he said with a grin. "the shirt's more white than pink."

I laughed. "True… but it still doesn't excuse the vest."

"I don't mind it…" Quatre replied. "Considering I've lived with so many sisters, having a purple vest is nothing. Now where IS it?"

I looked around and saw plenty of purple vests. "What's wrong with these?"

"They don't have pockets on the inside. The one I'm looking for is new." he replied, shuffling through his drawers again.

"Quatre, stop." I ordered. He obeyed me and looked at me questioningly. I put my hands on his cheeks, cupping his face. An immediate blush rose to his white cheeks. "Listen." I said. "It's not the end of the world. We've got to go soon, we don't want to be late."

He took a breath and let it out slowly. "You're right."

"Besides…" I added with a grin. "I think you'd look better in something light blue. It brings out your eyes."

There was a moment of silence. Then, "Really?" he asked.

I nodded. "Mm, hm…" I walked over to one of his drawers and pulled out a shirt that caught my eye. It was a nice pastel blue, and it was button-up, something I knew he was use to. "Try this, just for tonight. See what happens."

He looked at me with skepticism, but obeyed. I left his room to let him try it on. He came out a few seconds later, buttoning up the top button.

I batted his hands away. "No need to choke yourself." I said, and unbuttoned what he had just finished. I was close enough to smell his cologne, and I tried not to melt. If I'm a sucker for one thing, then it's cologne for sure. I also unbuttoned his cuffs, and rolled them up halfway to his elbows. I smiled at my handiwork. "Much better."

Quatre looked very uncertain, but I patted his shoulder, and started to lead him to Duo's room. "If it really makes you uncomfortable, then you can put it back the way you had it. But just give it a try."

We reached Duo's door, and I knocked on it. "Just a sec!" I heard him yell. Suddenly there was a thump, and a very American curse from Duo. "Ow! Shit!"

"You okay?" I asked, opening the door a crack to peek through, hoping he hadn't hurt himself too much. I didn't expect to see Duo in a towel, and hopping on one foot, with his hair in a very messy, wet braid.

"AHHH!" Duo yelled, waiving his hands frantically to get us to leave, while trying to keep his towel up.

"AAAHHHH!" Quatre and I yelled back. I attempted to slam the door, but my fingers got caught, and I cried out, opening the door again to get my hand free. This caused Duo to yell again, and Quatre reached to close the door, while pulling me away.

"Sorry! So sorry!" I called through the door. "I didn't see anything, I swear! Owww… ow ow ow…." I blew on my fingers, and whimpered. I shook my hand to have the pain go away, but it didn't work.

"Are you okay?" Quatre asked, taking my hand. I flinched. "You should put some ice on it."

I clenched my teeth and forced out, "Pain… paaaaaiiiinnn…"

Quatre turned me around and started to lead me to the stairs. Heero was standing at the top of them, watching us with a raised eyebrow. He looked at my hand questioningly, which Quatre held in his own away from us carefully. Heero took my hand in his and looked it over. His hands were rough, and I automatically flinched. "Gently, gently…" I said.

"Sorry." Heero muttered, and dropped my hand like a fish. "Soldier's hands, they're rough. You'll be fine."

I looked at my own red fingers. A little skin was removed, but nothing major. "yeah I know… just stings."

"Apparently, we hardly need to go to the circus." Heero said, as we all walked down the stairs. "We've already had quite a show here." It took me a moment to realize that Heero made a joke. I couldn't help but laugh.

By the time we got to the circus, three out of four of us were very frazzled. Heero drove this time, Duo had shotgun, and Quatre and I sat in the back. Duo didn't bother to lecture me about privacy, and when I tried to apologize to his face he waved his hand in dismissal. However, he was blushing, there was no mistaking it. He must not have thought reason to be mad at me since I got my fingers caught in the door. It's what some would call karma…

There weren't that many people because of the rain earlier. Still, there were some, even though the ground was muddy and soppy, and the canopies still dripped water that people had to dodge. It was cloudy still, but much lighter than earlier. We didn't really lose that much time, maybe only 15 minutes late. Besides, we came over early because we (especially Duo and I) wanted to play the games and stuff. We had about half an hour to 45 minutes until we had to go into the large tent where I knew the performances were being held.

So playing games was exactly what we did. Naturally the first place that the guys dragged me was to the shooting game. You know, the one where you shoot a water gun at a clown's mouth and make this balloon blow up and pop. I protested not to play, since I was going against three very well-trained soldiers, but Duo and Quatre persuaded me to join in. Heero was indifferent as usual.

"Fine." I said. "I'll play. But don't be surprised if I'm not that good of a shot. I shall lose, and I shall do it gracefully."

Duo patted my back, maybe a little too hard. "That's the spirit!" he grinned. I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head.

And so we began. And actually, I did really well, but still lost. Heero naturally won, then it was Quatre, then Duo (much to his dismay), and I ended it. At least they didn't have to wait forever for me to finish. The funny thing is about these circus games… you get a prize. And Heero was supposed to pick one of the cute stuffed animals that lined the walls. Didn't happen. He gave one narrowed piercing glare at the man behind the counter, and that was that.

So, we played other games. Again, I was dragged to another shooting game. This time, it was the one with the rifles and the old western props that you have to try and aim at from far off. I wasn't too bad at it… I tried it, myself. Did pretty well.

"You look like you know what you're doing." Duo finally mentioned.

"I do." I replied simply. Everyone looked at me, surprised. "Well, not completely of course… but when I lived with my dad he had guns, and he took me shooting all the time."

"What guns did he have?" Heero asked stoically, as he aimed and fired continuously.

"Uh…" I tried to remember. "A .45 automatic, a .22 rifle, a .22 pistol, a shotgun, a .38 caliber rifle I think… and he had an M-16. He kept them all in his closet."

"How old were you?" Quatre asked, sounding appalled.

"I'm not sure… I think he'd always had a gun on him, and I lived with him until I was ten. I have a little brother, three years younger than me. He went with us too."

"An adult shouldn't keep things like that in a closet with children around." Duo said, his tone sounding a bit darker. I shrugged.

"I'm still alive, aren't I? So is my brother… no serious harm done…" I replied, signaling the end of this conversation. My family history wasn't one of my lighter topics of conversation.

Naturally, I'm sure they all picked up on it, and I knew that from that moment on, I had them all wondering what else I was hiding and not telling them about. Let them wonder, though… none of their business.

Again, I felt guilty because that's how they feel about me and my knowledge. Particularly Heero. He's still the only one who knows exactly WHAT I know about him.

I quickly tried to take my mind off of it, and was thankful when we started to finally walk towards the huge circus tent. I looked around at all of the games that I still wanted to try, and the prizes they had. The whole time I was remembering Six Flags and the Circus Circus Casino that I went to in Reno, Nevada when I was younger. The closest thing to circus stuff I've had.

"Hey!" Duo suddenly yelled, being the American that he is. He raised his hand up in greeting. "Wu-Wu! Didn't think we'd see you and Po here!"

My eyes shot up immediately, and I finally saw him… the almighty Wufei.

He wasn't that tall. Then again, he's Asian. Still, he's taller than me, thank God. But Sally Po stood over him… that's not right. She's a tall woman, probably 5'9"at the most…

A surge of excitement went through me. So this is Wufei, in the flesh and all of his masochist glory…

"I do have a life outside of work, Maxwell." Wufei said arrogantly. He pointedly ignored being called Wu-Wu for the moment, and his eyes fell on me. They narrowed. What is it with people and narrowing their eyes? "Is this the woman you told me about? Your relative?" He was talking to Quatre.

"Uh, yes… this is Lynn." Quatre said introducing me, holding onto my arm. "Lynn, this is Wufei Chang and Sally Po. They're friends of ours… the ones we've been meeting up with."

"Nice to meet you…" I said quietly. Sally smiled at me, full and appreciating. It eased my nerves a little. However, Wufei was no longer paying attention to me. He was staring at Quatre.

"You've dressed differently." He simply stated.

"Uh… yeah…." Quatre forced out, scratching his head, not sure what to say.

"Well, I must admit, Winner… your taste is improving. It's about time you followed someone else's wishes besides your petty sisters."

Quatre sighed with a slight tinge of annoyance. "Wufei…"

I jumped in. "Actually, I gave him the idea…" Wufei glanced at me, and grunted. Then he turned and started walking towards the tent, and we began to follow.

Sally fell back in step with me, upon noticing the holes I was burning into the Asian's back with my eyes. "Don't worry about him…" she whispered. "He's a Cancer… a real crab…"

I laughed, and Wufei said, "I heard that, Po…"

"What's you're point?" Sally shot back with a grin.

Wufei only growled in response and I grinned. "A man of many words, I can tell…" I said to her.

It was Sally's turn to laugh. "You're gonna fit in just fine here, Lynn… So how are you related to Quatre?"

"I'm his second cousin…" I replied. "He's helping me get my life together here."

"That's Quatre for ya, sweeter than sugar."

"Sally…" Quatre said, blushing.

We approached the tent. "Enter, enter! Here you shall see the amazing, the astounding, and the absolutely unusual!" Announced a man in a clown costume.

As we walked into the giant tent, I saw a huge center circle with dirt, where all of the circus people were doing small little acts. Surrounding it were bleachers, and we sat relatively close, in the center. I immediately spotted Trowa juggling in his costume. Catherine wasn't far away, walking a lion. I looked elsewhere, at the people coming in, the children smiling, laughing, pointing. I smiled myself. This was my first time in an actual Circus. The only Circus anything I've been in was Circus Circus the Casino (with a section for kids)… but that was in doors and everything… and it was just different than this. Right at this moment, I felt just like a kid, and I liked it. Quatre and Sally noticed my excitement and smiled to each other. I noticed Wufei rolling his eyes. When he glanced at me again, I stuck my tongue out at him and cross my eyes. I laughed at how appalled he looked.

Sally laughed. "Oh yeah… she's gonna fit right in with us, isn't she?"

"Definitely…" Duo replied with his Cheshire cat grin. I only hoped it was going to be true.


	7. Duo's Fate

Dreamweaver02: HOLY SHT! I'M POSTING! SWEET LORD I'M POSTING!

Duo: She's posting!

Trowa: She's posting?

Wufei: It's a miracle!

Heero: Like anyone will be willing to still read it….

Dreamweaver02: SILENCE! There is only one way to find out! Onto the chapter!

**Chapter 7: Duo's Fate**

So, as expected, the circus performances were great. And it's no wonder the boss never fired Trowa despite his absences, because Trowa is AWESOME. That's it. He's just AWESOME. It even made up for his silent demeanor. Not only did Catherine get to throw knives at him, but his ability to tame wild animals won him the job of putting his head in the lion's mouth. It was great. There were many other acts of acrobatics and small skits. It was amazingly brilliant. Or maybe I'm just too easily entertained, but whatever.

After the show was over and everyone was done applauding, people finally started filing out through multiple exits, where outside they had toys that the children would bug their parents to buy. I wanted to get the glow in the dark neon necklaces myself… I love those things.

Instead, though, we waited for the place to get less and less crowded until we went down to the center dirt stage. I was pulled along with the guys, kept in check by Heero that I didn't get too far behind in the disappearing crowd. If it wasn't for his usual paranoia I would have thought it sweet. Instead, however, it was almost aggravating. On top of that, it was a little upsetting. I wondered if he'd ever be able to really enjoy something as simple as a circus show without having to constantly look over his shoulder to protect himself and others.

So, to lessen the feel of Heero's eyes burning into me, I quickened my pace and went up next to Quatre, who was talking to Sally. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"Oh," he exclaimed. "We're going to go say hello to Trowa and Cathy."

"I get to meet Catherine?" I replied. I felt both excited and uneasy at the same time. I've been meeting so many people and having so many reactions to myself that it was starting to make me a little edgy.

"Most certainly," Quatre answered with a smile. Somehow it made me feel a little better. He had that sort of magic. Go figure.

Quatre led us through into the back section, where a lot of the people were cleaning up and packing up their things. We found Trowa taking care of the lion, and he hadn't gotten out of costume yet. He still had his mask on. He turned around as we approached and I waved at him with a smile, while Quatre, Duo and Sally all said hi in unison. Then I had to ask him the burning question.

"How the heck do you keep your mask on like that?"

A small ghost of a smirk crossed his features. "It's a secret."

I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "…figures. Another thing to add onto the great mysteries of life… like why the toast always lands butter side down."

"Thank God I'm not the only one who worries about that…" Duo replied.

I heard Wufei snort from right beside me. "It's because you two are _Americans._"

"I'm glad you noticed, Wu-Wu…"

"Are we going to get going?" Heero finally said.

"He speaks!" Sally announced.

"Hn…"

"Yes. We should get going." Trowa replied. "I should say bye to Catherine first. Besides. She would like to meet you." He was taller than me, so he looked down at me with both eyes from under his hair.

"I don't mind…" I replied. "I'm a people person. Unlike _some _people…" I shot an eye at Heero and Wufei teasingly.

Heero narrowed his eyes. "It depends on the people."

"Don't be so serious…" I smiled at him.

"Let's do this quickly, though…" Trowa said. "We're supposed to go to dinner, aren't we?"

Quatre nodded in confirmation, and Trowa removed his mask and led me to Catherine who was a few bends away. The entire company followed of course, and there wasn't a lot of space. I thought it looked comical. Catherine was also still in costume, and as Trowa introduced me with little intrigue in his voice, she looked me over.

I knew that I wasn't completely used to how everything in this world looks, but I was starting to adjust. Until I met Catherine. Her eyes. They were amazingly lavender, and I'd never seen anything like it. Back home people can get colored contacts, but you know they're fake. No. These were real, and they were big, and very pretty. I had to be careful not to stare at her.

We shook hands. "Nice to meet you." I finally managed to say.

"The same to you…" she replied, but kept staring at me really hard. I blushed slightly.

"What?"

"Lynn, you have very unique eyes. Are they your natural eye color?" She asked finally.

"Are you eyes natural?" I responded with a smile. Good. We're in the same boat. "Mine are. They're called Hazel. It's a recessive trait. My father had them too."

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be so forward. I've just never seen such eyes. I find them very nice, though…" she said reassuringly.

"Don't worry about it, I've been told so by other people as well."

"So," Duo cut in. "I'm starving-"

"What a surprise…" Wufei interrupted, earning himself a quick glare from the braided one.

"_As_ I was saying…" Duo continued, "We're going to go out to eat, and we wanted to know if you guys wanted to come along."

"Really?" Catherine replied. "Do you think it's safe, considering everything that's been going on?"

"We should be alright…" Quatre replied. "We're not going anywhere where we can draw too much attention to ourselves, not to mention we'll be with my people. My men will let me know if anything suspicious happens."

"What about them following us back home or getting good pictures of what we look like?" I suggested. I couldn't help it. Whether they like it or not, I'm involved with this group, and so I have a right to be concerned about my safety as well.

"We've gone out before." Quatre said, turning to look at me. "I always make sure we have a decoy to trick any possible stalkers. And I'm sure that if they're looking for us, then they must already have some idea as to what we look like, otherwise this wouldn't be a problem."

I nodded in understanding; Sally looked at me, and then asked Quatre, "Does she know about what's going on?"

Quatre shook his head, and I answered for him. "No, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that we're taking a chance every time we're in public, especially as a large group."

With all of this information, Catherine pondered it for a moment, and then politely shook her head. "Not tonight. I have a lot of cleaning up to do, and the acts took all of my energy. Another time though, would be nice."

"Sure thing. If you change your mind, just let us know." Duo piped in.

After that, and after Trowa changed back into his normal clothes, we left and were on our way there. I was already feeling sleepy in the back of the car, but I fought it back. The guys were talking about all sorts of stuff, a lot of which I didn't understand, but oh well. When we finally got to the restaurant, I was relieved to know that I didn't have to be dressed any fancier than I was. It was no place special, and very secluded which was appropriate considering the circumstances. Everyone got out of the car, me being the last one, lagging behind.

"C'mon, hurry up…" Duo said, falling back to wait for me.

"Yes, Oh Mighty God of Death…." I replied with a sigh. I didn't realize what I'd said until I was too late. Duo stopped in his tracks, and I didn't dare to look up at him.

I tried to rush by him, but to no avail. He stopped me with his arm. "What did you say?" I finally looked up at him, and he was looking straight ahead for a moment. Then he looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I… I… Oh shit." I muttered. I watched as the others moved ahead, then slowed to a stop. The entire group turned and looked at us, though Trowa had the most suspicious stare. I knew right then that he had heard me as well. Wufei… had he heard me? I peered at his expression and came to the conclusion that he hadn't. Still, Trowa had. And Duo…? I was in deep trouble.

"What did you say?" Duo repeated.

"Duo, not here." I finally whispered to him, trying to keep the others from reading my lips.

I finally stared into his purple eyes, and was surprised to see anger there, yes… but more surprised to see worry. There was more worry than anger, and that confused me. As I looked into his eyes, I realized that I had just torn down a wall, a barrier that was taboo to break or cross. And so therefore he needed an explanation; he needed to know right then and there just how much of the wall I could see through. And I could see through nearly all of it.

I lowered my head, and tapped the toe of my shoe against the cement sidewalk. Duo turned around to our audience, and said more jovially than necessary, "We'll be in in a moment, don't worry about us." Uncertainty crossed everyone's face, except for Heero's because he knew exactly what this was about. Still, they obeyed and turned the corner, going inside.

"You have some explaining to do…" Duo finally said turning back to me.

"Yeah… It'd have to come out some time, right?" I muttered. "Just that timing sucks."

"Blame yourself for that one…" he replied, and I knew he was partially joking.

"Trust me I do." I replied with a forced grin.

"I've never told you that I've called myself the God of Death."

"Otherwise known as Shinigami, I know." I replied. Surprised crossed Duo's face, then his violet eyes darkened.

"That was when I was still fighting. Something that I've always called myself in battle." Duo finally said quietly as we sat on the curb. "I'm not killing anymore… but I did before… a lot. I had to. I'll always keep the title."

"I'm sorry I brought it up, really I am." I finally said. "I didn't mean to surface any pain for you. I don't mean to do it with any of you, just like I didn't want to with Heero."

"You know what I'm gonna ask, right?" Duo replied.

I nodded, and took his braid in my hand, playing with it. I swished its ends along my palm. "I know how you got this…" I held up his braid for him to easily see.

He put his hand over mine, stopping me from toying with his braid any further. He stared into my eyes. "How?"

"Sister Helen, right? I think that was her name." I replied. "You stayed with them. Helen and Father Maxwell… that's how you got your last name."

Sadness filled him like a sponge, and I wanted to hug him and comfort him, but I couldn't. It wouldn't be right.

He took his braid from my hands and stared down at it. "They took me out of the streets, you know… kept me from getting into any more trouble. Got me to stop stealing. They were the only family I had."

"I know…" I whispered.

He looked up at me again. "Do you know what happened to them?"

I nodded silently. Duo didn't ask me to explain it, he believed me. And thankfully, he was taking this much better than Heero was. "I couldn't save them…" he finally whispered. "If only I'd gotten there sooner…"

"If you were there when they were attacked then you would have died too." I replied. "Then you wouldn't have been able to help save the Earth and the colonies as many times as you've had to."

"At least I would have been able to try." Duo replied. "And I would have been freed from all of the destruction I've done."

"And all of the saving?" I replied. "Would you be willing to give that up too? Things would have turned out differently if you weren't around to help." There was a moment of silence, and finally I said, "Look… I know I couldn't possibly begin to really understand what you're feeling. But what happened to your family isn't your fault, you were only a child. It reminds me of something I read in a book, once… _'the purpose o' battle is slaughter and the price o' victory is blood.' _You killed because you had to, just like every soldier does. That's what wars are about. I'm sorry you were never really given a choice."

Duo looked at me finally, and said quietly. "Everyone I've cared about has died. I call myself Shinigami for a reason. I obsessed over it so much, I sealed my fate."

"Fate is bullshit." I said bluntly, and Duo looked surprised. "What's the point of living at all if you can't create your own path as you go? Besides, the people you care about _now_ aren't dead. The other gundam pilots aren't dead… the girls aren't dead…" I leaned back slightly, my arms wrapped around my knees, keeping me from falling back. I stared up at the stars. "You're like me… looking back at the past too much…and you've been doing it for so long that you're afraid to look ahead of you instead, and acknowledge the present as it comes. Change isn't easy, especially when there's a chance of it being good… 'Cause there's always a chance of it getting shitty again. But you shouldn't let that stop you. I try not to let it stop me."

"You know…" Duo finally said his voice lighter, his eyes brighter. "I was really upset at first that you know everything… and I still don't like it much, honestly. I understand now why Heero feels the way he does. But at the same time, it's… refreshing."

I gave a small laugh and smiled at him. "You know… they say that sharing the pain cuts it in half. And I understand that you still don't like me knowing, because it leaves you vulnerable. But just because you're vulnerable, doesn't mean I'm going to take advantage of it. And honestly, I wish I didn't know any of this about any of you."

"Thanks…" Duo said, and stood up, dusting off his pants. He offered me a hand to help me up, and I took it. "But you know if you didn't, then you wouldn't be able to prove to us that you are who you say you are."

"Yeah… true… although I don't think I should have to resort to your personal history to convince you. So you believe me then?" I asked.

Duo scoffed. "How could I not?" Then he quickly changed the subject. "Let's hurry up and get inside before they eat without us."

"I agree!" I replied. "We still have yet to polish off this restaurant's entire stock of food!"

"Nothin' like a girl with a healthy appetite…" Duo grinned.

I smirked. "Healthy? Not really. Big appetite though? Of course."

Since this is appropriately based from an anime in my world, then its main culture is Japanese. So there was tons of Japanese food at this restaurant, though there was some American food too (thank God.) Unfortunately, it was all written in Japanese, so I had to ask Heero to read things to me. He made it easier for me, actually… upon his request I told him I liked shrimp and pasta stuff, so that narrowed it down a bit.

This was actually one of those really cool restaurants where you watch the Japanese chef cook right in front of you. I've only been to one of these once before, and that was with a group of friends for one of my friend's birthday. As I watched the chef make our food with artistic skill, I remembered how much fun that one time was, and I began to feel sad. I didn't notice how obvious I was until I noticed that my vision was blurry, and I attempted to blink back the tears before anyone noticed them. I really hope I can get back home… I snapped out of it when Heero nudged me, and I glanced up at him. His eyes searched mine for a clue as to why my eyes were brimmed with withheld tears. He didn't say anything though, just pointed at my plate, where I acknowledged there was food.

"Oh… arigatou…" I said to the chef, and he bowed a little and smiled. I looked up to find a few questioning faces staring back at me. "What?"

"I thought you said she didn't speak Japanese?" Sally asked Quatre and Duo. "Did you teach her anything since she's been here?" Duo and Quatre shook their heads.

"I don't… I just know enough to be polite." I replied. That seemed to be a good enough answer for them, except Heero kept his eye on me. Then again, when was he NOT keeping his eye on me? I don't understand why they're so surprised, though… I spoke Japanese when I was in Duo and Heero's car with Heero's gun aimed at my skull.

Right when my mind was preoccupied, people started asking me questions. "So how's America?" Sally asked me. "Quatre told me that's where you came from…"

"Oh, crowded as usual…" I replied. "I don't know… I just got too familiar with everything there. I was a growing plant that needed a bigger pot to grow."

"You still have yet to take root, don't you?" Trowa said. I nodded.

"Of course… what do you expect? I just got here. But that's why dear Quatre is going to help me." I beamed. Geez, I was being such an actor. Whether I was being a GOOD actor, was beyond my judgment, but it seemed to be working for Sally and Wufei… Trowa didn't believe me though. This was definitely going to be difficult.

Dinner couldn't end any sooner. We didn't get into our original car. We went around to the back of the restaurant, where a totally different car was waiting for us. I watched in the cold night air as Quatre talked to the chef, patting him on the shoulder. "I'll come back for it in the morning." Quatre replied, referring to the car we used earlier. Finally we left, and I sat silently in the back seat, scrunched up against the window. Wufei and Sally took their own car home, so we had just enough space for the five of us. Trowa drove, and Quatre sat in the passenger's seat.

I kept noticing how Duo and Heero kept glancing at me the whole ride home, as if both of them had more they wanted to say to me, or tried to read me and see if I knew more than I was telling. I attempted to ignore them, and stare at my reflection in the car window with every passing streetlamp. I still wasn't used to my appearance, and I wondered if I'll ever feel like myself again.

When we got home, I said thank you for taking me to dinner, and goodnight, but didn't go to bed. I slipped into flannel pajama pants and a black shirt, and then went to the music room. It was empty, and I kept the lights off, and sat at the piano bench for a moment in silence. I was thinking about what Duo had said.

'I sealed my fate.'

What was fate, anyway? Was there such a thing? I know I said there wasn't, and I usually agree with it… but now I wasn't so sure. Duo didn't really have control over his life then, because it was constructed by someone else… the creator and director of Gundam Wing in my world. Or did he merely take what had already existed here, and displayed it into an anime without knowing it? I mean, obviously he and everyone else in my world are unaware that Gundam Wing really does exist. So the question is, does the imagination make up the world, or does it merely find it and display it? If it's the former, then Duo and the others really had no control over their lives then, and now there's no telling if I do either. I certainly don't feel like I have any control, and the idea scares me. Who knows what's going on, if I'm crazy and my mind is making my brain believe I'm sensing senses that aren't really happening, or if there is a fate or not, or if there is a single kind of reality. Never in my entire 17 years of living have I felt so incredibly helpless and small.

Not to mention that the Pilots are being hunted by someone…. Some vengeance group, I'm sure. I know they can take care of themselves, but I still worry, even though I haven't been here long enough to get really close to them. I can't help but worry for their well-being, along with my own. Even worse, I wouldn't know how to spot these enemies, because they're not telling me anything. I know I'm going to end up being a handicap at some point throughout all of this.

Author's Note: this quote is taken from an actual book, and therefore does not belong to me. The quote given belongs to Kate Forsyth, and her book The Cursed Towers, book three of The Witches of Eileanan.

I would also like to state my sincerest apologies for taking over a year to update. Live has gotten extremely busy, so I don't have any time leftover, and by then I'm always too tired to do anything anyway. Not to mention I've collided into the most extreme writer's block ever to grace my poor fragile brain. However, I'm surprised that I've still gotten a couple of reviews here and there, and so I thank everyone for still enjoying my story and bearing with me. I never thought people would actually like it enough to review a year later to try and convince me to keep posting, it's very heartwarming. Thank you everyone for your support! I'll try to get the next part out a LOT sooner!


	8. Pilot 03 down two more to go

**Author's Note:** Well, it's taken forever again, but at least not a year this time… sorry if you find grammar/spelling errors, I haven't proofread this yet. I'll get around to it, but I wanna post it now, lest I procrastinate for another month…

I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing yet again, it's greatly appreciated! I know where the story is going to go (give or take a few gaps here and there), and so far I have two alternate endings, but that won't have to be decided for a very long time. Maybe I could post both, I'll let you guys decide, okee doke? In the mean time, I hope you enjoy the chapter; I would love to hear your opinions!

**Chapter 8: Pilot 03 down… two more to go**

After over-analyzing everything, I decided to go to bed, where I'd probably end up analyzing it even more. The entire house was dark, and considering how big it was, it made it very eerie and intimidating. Each step of my foot sent a creak in the floorboard, and I flinched involuntarily. On top of that, I don't have the quietest feet for tip-toeing, since I can crack them easily by wiggling my toes. The only way I can really sneak anywhere is when I step sideways, because my toes don't move as much; apparently I'm a freak. But that's not the point. Yes, houses have a certain scariness about them when it's very late at night, and the moonlight from outside casts long shadows across the floor. Not to mention I've always lived in apartments, where there is always some sort of distinct noise that you can notice, that can break through the loneliness.

As I approached the stairs, nearly blind in the darkness that filled that section of the house, I couldn't help but feel small and helpless. My own breathing was loud in my ears, my steps loud and clumsy, and I hoped I wasn't waking anyone up.

It wasn't until I reached the first step, that my vision began to slightly adjust, just in time to see a tall dark figure standing directly in front of me. I opened my mouth to scream, but a hand fell over my mouth, silencing me and pinning me against the wall.

"Sh…" I heard Trowa's voice whisper.

I was enraged and relieved at the same time, so I pushed him away from me. "What the heck are you doing?" I hissed.

"I would like to ask you the same thing." He replied, as he turned on the lamp at the bottom of the stairs. He was wearing dark grey-blue sweatpants, and a white t-shirt, and I tried not to notice his taught muscles; or at least make it obvious that I was noticing them.

"I was just having some time by myself. I was just thinking. Is that alright?" I glared, crossing my arms. I was suspicious of Trowa, just as he was suspicious of me, and I didn't want to be alone with him for a single second.

"What were you thinking about?" he questioned, his eyes narrowing at my behavior.

"Why do you feel the need to ask, Trowa? Now please, I'd like to go to bed. I see no reason for an interrogation." I began to walk past him, when he turned around.

"Who are you?" He demanded finally.

"Who are you?" I repeated to him, staring into his dark green eyes, which almost looked black in the dim light of the small lamp below us. My gaze was piercing, testing him to figure out what I meant by it.

He showed no emotion; he merely narrowed his eyes. "Don't try to lie to me. I heard what you said to Duo earlier, Lynn."

I sighed, and leaned on the banister with my hand, the wood cold and harsh to my touch. "I know you did, Trowa. And I didn't even mean to say what I said. But if I told you now, you would most likely not believe me, and I really don't want to convince you. Please, Trowa. Let me go to bed."

"No," he shot back, his tone even but icy. "I am not going to just sit here and let a possible threat sleep in this house when there is so much at stake."

"So much at stake?" I shot back. "I don't even know what's going on! And if I'm such a threat, then how do you explain Quatre confirming that I'm his second cousin?"

"I'm sure he's defending you somehow, though why, I am not sure. Whatever the case, I know that I must get to the bottom of this." Trowa replied, crossing his arms to stand his ground.

"Good for you, Trowa, but it's been a long day. I'm going to bed, we can talk about this tomorrow, when everyone is awake." I began to walk back up the stairs, but Trowa grabbed my arm and pulled me back, so that I nearly stumbled down the stairs on top of him. "Trowa! Let me go!"

"No." he replied.

"Yes!" I shouted, and I realized I was too loud. Soon enough, I heard bedroom doors open, and Trowa released his hold on me. It wasn't harmful, but it was enough that I couldn't break free of him.

"What's going on?" Heero demanded, as Quatre came out of his own room, Duo following soon after from his as well.

"Nothing." I snapped, and began heading up the stairs.

"Lynn, what's wrong?" Quatre asked, looking at Trowa, and then back at me. He followed me to my bedroom door.

"Ask Trowa." I finally announced. If I knew Trowa like I thought I did then I knew he wasn't going to let this rest.

All eyes fell on him, except for mine, which stared longingly at the doorknob to my bedroom. In my heart I was praying he'd let me go, but in my mind I knew it was impossible.

Trowa finally spoke, his voice calm and even. "Duo… what did she say to you earlier?"

My eyes shot to the braided man standing in his shorts. His body froze, hands clenched into fists, knuckles white. His eyes darted to mine then left just as quickly.

I spoke before anyone else could, seizing any possible pressure dropped onto Duo by Trowa's words. How could he have _asked _that? To test his reaction, I'm sure.

"Trowa… come into my room. The rest of you can follow too if you'd like." I closed the gap between me and my door, and entered, turning on the light. I could hear the steps of the men following me, and I sat on my bed, pulling out my backpack from underneath it.

I pulled out all of my books and my sketchbook as well. I didn't know which to start with. Trowa stood right in front of me, arms crossed, hair glaring at me menacingly. "You might want to sit down for this…" I said calmly. "You're not going to believe a damn thing I say, but keep in mind that I was able to convince Heero and Duo."

Heero narrowed his eyes at me, but remained silent in the shadows of the doorway. Duo sat at my windowsill, staring out into the night. Quatre kneeled down against the wall, watching intently. He was about to be the only one who didn't know…

I stared at the books on my lap, and decided to pull out my wallet. I began by showing him my I.D. He stared at it for a moment. "This must be fake." he finally announced.

"It's not." I replied with a sigh. "I was born in 1985 A.D., and I am currently seventeen years old. I had just started college before I came here."

"You're lying." Trowa replied throwing the card back onto my lap.

I opened up my textbooks and showed him the copyright dates, and then I showed him my class schedule that I had printed out. It felt like it was ages ago.

"When I came here, it was 2003 A.D. from where I was."

"These can all be made. You're not proving anything. You're only digging yourself a deeper hole."

"Fine…" I replied. I opened up my art book and flipped to a drawing of him. "Look familiar?"

He narrowed his eyes and picked it up, staring at it intently. "How were you able to do this?"

"My imagination. Just so you know, your hair is very hard to draw." I commented.

"You've just met me."

"uh… yeah..?"

"You could have done this recently."

"But I didn't. Besides, I draw better now. Some of this stuff is pretty old." I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the collision. "I'm not from here, Trowa. I don't know how I got here, and I'd love to get back, but I'm stuck here."

"Where are you from, then?" His voice was skeptical.

"Hard to explain…" I replied.

"You'd better explain it quickly, you're trying my patience, which is no easy task."

I glared up at him. "Okay, fine then. Where I come from we have anime, and one of them is called Gundam Wing. You are one of those main characters. Your name is Trowa Barton, although that's not your real name. You don't have a real name. You got your name from the real Trowa Barton, who was killed just before Operation Meteor was to be put into effect. He was related to Dekim Barton, who was the leader of Mariemaia incident, killed by one of his subordinates. You pilot the gundam Heavyarms. You were the one who saved Heero when he self-destructed himself, and you were the one who nursed him back to health. 'Dying hurts like hell.' Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"

Trowa's eyes were wide, and he looked as if the breath had been knocked out of him. "Too much… too much for you to know. How? You must have found a way. Your story… it's a lie. You could have been capable of being there for those events, or learning it from someone else… It's not possible."

I remained silent, and stared down at my hands. I wasn't going to cry this time. I wasn't going to get worked up. For once I didn't care.

"You're too much of a threat…" Trowa whispered. The tone was deadly, and I began to inch back on my bed. He took a step forward as if to attack, to harm, to do away with this pesky threat and be done with it- but then Quatre was there, standing between us, hands on Trowa's shoulders.

"Don't…" Quatre said quietly.

"I don't understand… why you support her!" Trowa yelled. It made me shrink back, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. I never imagined he could be so intimidating.

He wanted to kill me, I could see it in his eyes. It wasn't bloodlust… it was duty. It was a soldier protecting the allies from the enemy. It was his job. And I understood. But it was my natural right to preserve my own life.

"Trowa…" I finally said quietly. I stood up from my bed, and put my hand on Quatre's shoulder to ease him. "I am not here to hurt anyone. I came here by mistake. I know you want to kill me, and I know why…"

"Then you will understand why I will." he replied, voice emotionless.

"Yes, but I might struggle a bit." I grinned. I couldn't help the joke, it slipped from my lips, and he got it… but didn't find it nearly as funny of course. Finally, in all seriousness I said, "What if I could offer you something… something you may have wanted all of your life? Would you spare mine?"

"I don't make deals with enemies." he replied. "I cannot be bribed. I don't need money, I don't need property or protection… I don't need anything from you. I don't have a past, I don't have a family… you can't touch me."

I stared at him long and hard, no words escaping my lips. If I was to tell him, it would not be in the presence of others. But I wanted him to get the message… and he did. His eyes narrowed.

"Could everyone leave the room please?" I finally announced. "Everyone but Trowa of course."

"But…" Quatre and Duo protested in unison.

I stared at them both, as they stood side by side. "If he's going to kill me, then he's going to kill me. Although the thought of it is scaring the hell out of me. But this is something he should know anyway, whether he decides to kill me or not."

So they all walked out silently, Heero choosing to be the last to leave, closing the door behind them.

I paused in silence. I asked Trowa, "Are they gone? We don't want them listening in."

He paused. "Yes." he said.

"This will be a shock… and maybe it won't. And it'll be your choice to do what you want with this information…" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "You do have family. One last remaining family member. Do you want to know who it is?"

His eyes widened, and somehow the green in them seemed to shine brighter. He did not give me an answer right away. We sat for many minutes, and he walked to the window, and stared out, his hand on the glass. The whole time I knew what he was thinking… 'if I know, I'll have a bond, a tie… a reason to protect, yet also a weakness. I will no longer be a lone soldier, but a man… a… family member…human…'

"yes." he finally whispered.

I paused for a moment, giving him the chance to change his mind. No words came, so I finally spoke silently. "You see her every day… you work with her. She's cared for you like a brother. A brother she thought she once lost."

He visibly paled, and spun to look me straight in the eye. "Catherine?"

I nodded. "Interesting how fate plays the game of life, isn't it?"

"I can't believe… yet…. somehow… I always knew." His voice became soft. He looked away. "I can't tell her. I'd have no way to prove it."

"You're probably right. You were only an infant when you two got separated. I'm sure you can find a way, though, Trowa… if you really want to tell her. You'll find a way."

"How did you get into this world? What test of reality is this?" Trowa quietly pondered.

"I don't know how or why it happened… I was brought here by a beam of light and appeared in the backseat of Duo and Heero's car when they were driving. That was a fun time. You should ask them about it."

"I'm sure I will. It's all too much to believe. Too far-fetched. You could still be lying." Trowa replied, his tone getting dark again.

"I understand your reasoning, but I have nothing else to say to you. It is how it is… that's all I can say. Heero and Duo believe me. At least that's a start."

Trowa was done with this conversation. He walked stoically to my door, and put his hand on the handle in preparation to leave. He turned for a moment, and stared at me long and hard. "I still don't trust you. But I won't kill you. But I recommend you don't tell this to Wufei, otherwise he will."

I gulped to myself, knowing he was right. I crossed my fingers and chanted to myself, "Please oh PLEASE don't let him move in here!"


	9. It looks like I'm from here after all

Dreamweaver02: OMG, yay! I've got another chapter out! I'm finally starting to get somewhere! WOO HOO!

Heero: (Rolls his eyes) After all, it's only chapter NINE! What have you been _writing_ about all of this time? Dancing gerbils?

Dreamweaver02: (cries) stupid head… (mumble grumble) spoil my fun… (grumble) (sniff)... Wait a minute… isn't that Hamtaro?

**Chapter 9: It looks like I'm from here after all…**

The next day Trowa left, and I could only guess why. Quatre told me he was coming back. "He just told me that he has something to take care of." Quatre explained.

Heero and Duo left to go work with Sally and Wufei. They were gone before I even woke up. Quatre, however, stayed home this time. It was a little uncomfortable at first, because I was so used to having the place to myself. By the time I got up he was making breakfast for himself, and he conveniently made enough for me as well. Waffles with sausage and eggs. Homemade waffles. My mouth watered. I set the table for him with a small smile, and we finally sat down to eat. Quatre was in his usual attire, while I sat there Indian style in my pajamas. I was so unconventional…

Minutes of silence passed before one of us spoke.

"What do you plan to do today, Lynn?" He asked me as we ate.

"I don't know… I never know, honestly." I gave a heavy sigh. "How about you?"

"Relax." He said with a smile.

"And how do you relax?" I asked.

He gave me another one of his smiles, and stood up. "I play music. Would you like to join me?"

"Deny the company of another human being? Are you crazy?" I leaped from my seat and put away our dishes, planning to wash them later.

We entered the music room, and it glowed with serenity and elegance from the sunlight pouring in. I gave a small sigh of contentment. It had been cloudy for the past couple of days, so the warmth was welcomed.

"What's your favorite instrument?" I asked him, as I stroked the white seat of the piano.

"The violin," he replied. "Although I can play every instrument in this room."

I smirked. "I played the violin a little bit in elementary school… I had a really good music class and we got to practice with all kinds of things. I don't remember anything though."

"Was the piano one of them?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Unfortunately no… and I've never had the luxury of being able to take lessons." I replied as I sat at the keys.

Quatre didn't reply. He only smiled, and sat down at the piano with me.

I fiddled a little random tune, trying to get comfortable. I began to play the background for 'Heart and Soul,' adding my own variations that I had created over time. I couldn't multi-task using both hands at once, save for a couple of songs, so I stopped the background and played the actual tune itself. I kept playing it in a continuous loop, the song able to begin where it ended. I began to hum to the music. "dun dun duuun…. Dun dun dun dun dun dun heart and soul…. La da la da la da daaa daaa…." Then I remembered Quatre's presence and I felt like an idiot. I stopped immediately.

He grinned at me, and began to play the tune himself.

"Do you know this song?" I asked him. He shook his head, his fingers still continuing the melody. I gasped. "Really? Nearly everyone back home knows this song. You're just able to do this from watching me?"

"Of course…" Quatre replied with a glance.

I sat there and listened to him play, and then I came in with the background music. Finally we both stopped. "I thought you said you didn't know any other songs?" Quatre questioned.

I smiled. "I lied. I don't like being put on the spot when I'm not prepared."

"What else can you do?" he replied.

"I know some tunes that I've figured out by melody… but nothing grand. What you heard me playing last time was pretty much as advanced as my skill goes."

"Ahh…" Quatre replied. "That's okay, play something."

"Only if you promise to play ME something when I'm done." I teased. He nodded in agreement, so I began.

I played the melody of a song called Sora from Escaflowne. I couldn't help but quietly sing along, as I knew the song by heart. "Win dain… a lotica en valturi si lota fin dain a loluca… en dragua sei lain… vi faru lesshutai um en rigalint…"

Quatre seemed awed by the nonsense I was singing, so I continued. "Win chent a lotica en vaituri silota fin dein a loluca si katigura neuver…. Floreria for chesti… si entina…" I stopped the song there, even though that wasn't all of it.

"That was… beautiful." Quatre sighed. "Where did you learn it?"

"Just something I came across back home…" I replied. "It's from an anime that I know called Escaflowne."

"What do all of those words mean?" Quatre asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. I just like it for its pure phonetic beauty."

Quatre paused for a moment. "You said that it's from an anime?" he asked. I nodded. "I wonder…" he muttered. He left the music room, and I followed him, confused.

"You wonder what?" I asked.

Quatre walked through the hall into the entertainment room and sat the computer. He turned it on, and as he waited for everything to load, he said, "If your world is real, and you say you're from 1985 then I'm curious as to if there is any overlapping with our history. We have all of our documents dating back to hundreds of years, no matter how seemingly insignificant."

I gasped. "Quatre, that's genius!" He didn't respond. He only gave his boyish grin, like always.

I sat on the edge of the sofa with eager anticipation. Once everything finished loading, he opened a window, what I could only guess was the internet, and began to fly through hundreds of web pages. I never knew a human being could search through so much information so quickly. It didn't take very long for him to come up with something.

"Escaflowne…" he muttered. "An anime series originally created in 1996, with a movie following on A.C. 1-" he paused and glanced at me. "Or as you know it, 2000." He looked back to the screen and continued. "It was created by Hajime Yatate and Shoji Kawamori."

There was a picture of the anime, and they eyes were huger than ever. After all, they had to seem large to the people of this world. "That's…. amazing… no… that's _impossible!_" I nearly shouted.

"The song was called Sora, was it not?" Quatre asked.

I nodded. "It was composed by Yoko Kanno. She did a lot of music for a lot of different animes."

Quatre found it nearly instantaneously, and downloaded it. He played it. It was exactly what I was singing. He was quiet for a moment. "It really is a beautiful song."

"But what does this mean?" I asked. "I don't understand… it's like it's my world but it's not."

He paused for a moment longer. "If we can find this, then what else can we find?" he asked. "You said you were born in 1985?" I nodded, my mouth going dry, my tongue beginning to feel numb. "You're full name?"

"Lynn Ann Tinsley…" I muttered. "I was born on October 27th, 1985."

"Okay…" Quatre breathed. He somehow was able to get into old archives of birth certificates for the United States, and the computer was going faster through the files than my eyes could handle. "This may take a moment or two…"

Finally something popped up that caught both of our attention. It was me. Quatre clicked on the file, and all of my information came up. Birth information: weight, eye color, hair color, pictures of my hand and footprints. It proceeded to go through more of my life. It showed the basic, factual information concerning charges I had pressed against my father regarding molestation when I was ten, something I had hoped to avoid talking about or giving knowledge about. Old school pictures and transcripts showed up, matching my appearance on the nickel. The information went past high school, past college… there was a marriage certificate, birth certificates of children that I've never had… or have yet to have, and finally… a death certificate. It was all so impossible. There was nothing showing that I had disappeared from this world. I had grown up, got a career, and had a family… I lived my entire life and I died. Two hundred years ago, according to these files. According to this world. All the evidence was there.

Quatre stared at the information in silence, while I was shaking where I stood. I glanced at him, and we made eye contact. Then he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and pressed speed dial. "Heero, you had better get Duo and come home. Now. There's something I think you should see. Trust me."

I put my face in my hands, still shaking like a leaf. "I don't understand." I whispered. "My entire life… gone… but I haven't even lived it. It doesn't make any sense."

"Lynn…" Quatre said cautiously. "I'm going to have put you under lock down in this house."

"What?" I replied, panic taking over my throat. It's not like I haven't been anyway, but the way that he said it scared me. "I'm not dangerous Quatre, I thought you trusted me."

"I can't completely trust you. Not yet. Don't you think it'd be more probable that you're merely imitating this woman's identity? She's been dead for two hundred years! It would seem so insignificant, so easy of a thing to overlook!" His eyes were truly sympathetic, which wrenched at my heart even more.

I cried out in anguish, and leaped from the sofa. "But I remember everything! I remember my entire life! I just want to be normal! Why can't I just be normal?"

"Don't you think it's more likely a possibility that you've been brainwashed somehow?" Quatre replied. "Somehow given all of the information that you know in the way that you remember it, in order to work on our sympathies and on our weaknesses of our past?"

"Are you saying that I'm a tool for the enemy and don't even know it?" I replied.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. If this is true, then we will try to reverse it somehow… but we can't trust you." Quatre replied, his hands evenly spaced at his sides, ready to use them if necessary.

"I know there is a way to figure this out. Even my world is advanced in figuring out identities, and you guys are supposed to be 200 years ahead of me." I said.

"I know. That's why I'm calling Heero and Duo here. We're going to investigate this much further than we have. We were foolish not to follow up on this sooner. You can't blame us, Lynn…"

I fought back a sob, and buried my head into my hands again. I knew it was too good to be true, to have these soldiers actually believe me… believe the truth… and Quatre's reasoning sounded so much reasonable than my own, that I began to even doubt myself. "Don't let them hurt me, Quatre…" I replied. "Don't you hurt me either. Do what you must, but don't hurt me."

"I'll try and make sure of it." Quatre replied.

Minutes felt like hours, almost days. Finally Heero and Duo entered through the door, and Quatre directed them into the entertainment room where we sat. Quatre stepped off to the side and let them look at the information with their own eyes.

Duo turned to me after a couple of minutes. "You're dead?" He announced. I looked away. What kind of a question is that to answer?

Heero didn't speak; he merely glanced at the other two pilots and walked outside the door which led into the living room. They followed and he closed the door behind them. I was alone now, trapped in this room with a computer that was beginning to weigh the scale of my fate. I heard their muffled talking outside the door, but I didn't bother listening in. I could only guess that Quatre was explaining how he came across everything, and what his theory was.

When they finally came back in, I was lying down on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling blankly, with my hands folded on my chest. Three heads peered over the sofa at me, and I cocked my head to get a better angle of their faces. I didn't speak, I didn't ask any questions.

"Get up." Heero demanded, his tone laced with ice.

I complied, since I knew I didn't have a choice. I crossed my arms and stared at my feet, unwilling to cooperate any further than was necessary.

"We're going to do some testing." Quatre explained. "We're going to need your fingerprints and a sample of your DNA."

"This will be the deciding factor." Heero continued. "Neither fingerprints or DNA can be completely duplicated, so if you are who you think you are then this will prove it. Once this is determined, then we will figure out how to deal with you accordingly."

I could only hope that the DNA of my alternate, currently-deceased self would be identical to my own, and there was no guarantee of this. There was no guarantee of anything. I didn't bother voicing this out loud however, in case they would look at it as me trying to cover for myself.

I don't know how they have the available technology for these sorts of things, or how often they would actually use them, but all of the equipment for the testing was in a basement which I didn't know about. It was a large basement that stretched past the house and into the backyard as well, and I couldn't help but wonder what else there was about this place that I didn't know about.

The first thing they did was take my fingerprints and footprints. They set it to match with the specific file, and it was identical, much to my grand relief. They still insisted on taking a DNA sample however.

On top of this, they put me through a lie detector test. That was fun. Not.

They placed me in a separate room by myself while they talked amongst themselves. The room was dark and stank, as was expected of a basement. Thankfully, it didn't take long for them to come and retrieve me.

They sat me down on a stool, and they all stared at me, any possible emotion cloaked.

"Well?" I finally whispered, my voice coming out dry and cracked. I hadn't spoken to them since they had come home.

"The evidence is conclusive…" Heero replied, and he hesitated. Then he continued. "You are who you say you are. Everything matches, though I don't know how."

Duo nodded in agreement. "By all means, it's definitely impossible."

"We took every other possible scenario into consideration..." Quatre continued. He listed each on with his fingers. "Possible alterations to your DNA and fingerprints. Being kidnapped when you were alive two hundred years ago and somehow cryogenically frozen so that you can exist today and then they would alter your files, in order to cover up that you were ever missing. Having your DNA taken from your old self and creating a clone…"

"Which is impossible right?" I finally asked. "I mean, my alternate self's body is definitely dust by now, and I don't think anyone would be able to preserve my DNA in any way for so long…"

"True." Quatre nodded. "It isn't possible and it isn't legal to hold such information for such a long period of time. Generally any possible DNA samples are deleted after a number of generations have passed, and it's impossible to create DNA from scratch. And they couldn't have gotten your body when you died. You were cremated." I raised my eyebrows in slight interest.

Duo piped in. "Every idea we've thought of sounds as much like science fiction as your story does. Our technology isn't advanced enough to include these sorts of ideas, with the exception of cloning, that is, and it's impossible to clone you, when you realize how long you've been dead."

"Even if you were created to be a clone somehow, we do realize that there's no way you can possibly know what you know in such detail." Heero added. "Remembering specific dialogues, and even exact past memories of others can't be so accurate. And you wouldn't have been created by our current enemy organization, because this organization formed after you would have been born. Your test has proven that you believe that you're telling the truth, concerning events with your own history, and you were able to recall specific memories of yourself and your world with… commendable ease, concerning the circumstances and pressure being applied to you. We don't have any form of technology for transferring documented historical facts of one person and applying it into the brain of another in the form of memories."

"So," Duo rolled his eyes at Heero and finished, "All of this technical confusing mumbo jumbo pretty much means that you shouldn't exist, but you obviously do, and we have no idea what you're doing here or how you came to be."

I was silent for a moment, and I finally let out the breath that I was holding. "Okay…" I replied. "So… what does this mean? What are you going to do with me?"

"That's something we can't really decide on just yet." Duo replied.

"That's promising…" I mumbled.

"We're not going to hurt you." Heero simply stated. He walked by me, and the others followed. As he did, he said, "But we are going to keep a close watch on you."

"Like you haven't been already," I replied, and got up to follow them.

"The bright side is," Duo said, "is that once we do reach a point where we trust you enough, we're going to start letting you in on our little circle with some things."

"Really?" I replied, ecstatic. Finally! To be involved!

"This doesn't mean we're going to be giving you personal information about our missions or anything." Heero warned. "But we want you to be more aware of the dangers that threaten you and everyone else, and how to recognize them, and handle them. Otherwise you're just being a handicap to us, and we can't baby-sit you."

"Ouch..." I shot back. "Well, I never requested you to 'baby-sit' me, Heero… you choose to do that one on your own."

"I don't think I choose to do anything when it concerns protecting you." Heero replied.

"If that's how you feel, then why don't you just kick me out?" I replied, as I felt color rise into my cheeks. This conversation was suddenly becoming a little too sensitive.

We exited the basement and Heero spun on me, his gun already drawn and millimeters from my cheek. He stared at me for a moment, then put his gun away and continued to walk away, his hands in his pockets. "You wouldn't stand a chance out there."

"I thought that was the point." I retorted. "I'm sure that'd solve all of your problems, wouldn't it?"

"The only way to solve any problems would be if you're dead, and _I_ am to make sure of it. Otherwise there is a chance you would get captured."

I made a strenuous attempt to keep my temper under control. "If you're that concerned, then why don't you just kill me and be done with it?" I snapped.

"Hey, calm down you guys." Duo said, finally intervening. "Besides, Lynn… you're starting to sound like Relena."

Heero shot him the coldest glare right then, and Duo didn't say another word. Instead he merely scratched his head in a sheepish manner.

My cheeks flared with anger, and my hands were clenched. I wanted nothing more than to give Heero a piece of my mind. With my fist. I was just about ready to let out my primal urge to leap and destroy, when Quatre put his hand on my shoulder. Which was a good thing too, because as valiant as my efforts may have seemed at the moment, I would have severely lost had he not brought me back to reality.

"Heero," Quatre said calmly, "You're being a little unfair."

"Psh, a little…" I muttered under my breath. I didn't care if they could hear it or not.

"No offense Q, but you don't know what it feels like for her to know everything about you." Duo said in Heero's defense.

"And thank God for that." I finally shouted. "He's the only person left who treats me with a little bit of dignity and respect, much less like a human being!" I spun on my heels and ran up the stairs. As I reached my door I yelled, "I wish I was back home! In fact, I wish I never came here at all!" And with that I entered my room and slammed my door.

I immediately went into the joint bathroom and slammed Heero's door and locked it, to make sure I would have the privacy that I rightfully deserve. I grabbed a tank top and shorts to change into and turned on the hot water, letting the steam fill the room and fog over the mirror. I stepped into my bedroom and grabbed the boom box and placed it on the bathroom counter, and put in a CD mix that had Nine Inch Nails on it.

A little while later, after making sure to use up all of the hot water for Heero, I came out feeling refreshed and like myself again. It's amazing what hot water and Trent Reznor can do for you…

With my head feeling clear and my skin clean, I finally decided to do something. No, really, I mean it. Something with a smidge of real importance. I went downstairs into the entertainment room and went on the computer under the guest account, and went online. It was dark outside now, and I don't know where the guys were, and I didn't really care. It didn't take me long to figure out how to work the computer, and thankfully it was in English. Duo or Quatre must have adjusted it for me. When I went online, I looked through the most recent news articles concerning any post-war problems. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find much… the Preventers were trying to keep it as quiet as possible; I assumed it was to stop the public from panicking.

There had been a number of explosions in the past few months, and I noticed that a lot of the time it would be where a section of Preventers would be stationed. My brain automatically began brainstorming. Perhaps this organization already knows who the gundam pilots are, and know that they're a part of the Preventers? Or are they just merely rebelling against the Preventers because the Preventers and the new government are protecting the pilots?

I also found a number of cases concerning runaways and kidnappings, which I found confusing and intriguing at the same time. Was there a connection? What would an organization do with kids? Maybe it's just a coincidence and I'm looking too deep into things.

I found quite a few cases of riots that had broken out in a number of places as well… apparently peace is harder to maintain than everyone had thought.

Unfortunately any remotely valuable information was unattainable from these public documents, and I clearly don't have the skill to hack at all. I'll have to wait and see if any more news comes up, or if the gundam pilots are going to actually eventually tell me anything.

With a sigh of slight disappointment, I flopped down onto the couch and turned on the TV. I searched the Satellite TV listings and found a station that played nothing but anime, including subtitles. I was already able to feel myself relax. It's always so much easier to get lost in the problems of a cartoon. It lets your imagination fly freely, and the first direction it flies is away from your own personal problems. Some say it's an unhealthy escape but I, for one, beg to differ.

Three episodes later, I could feel myself starting to fall asleep on the couch. I lied down along its length, my head resting on a comfy pillow at the right end. The only light in the room was the bluish light of the television. My eyes were transfixed on the show that was starting, hypnotized by the animation. Another anime theme song filled the room, drumming in my ears. I had no idea what they were saying, and I didn't care enough to read the subtitles. Finally, it started.

It was another anime of a girl being thrown into a world she didn't know existed. And boy, was I able to connect on a whole new level with this one. It's an idea that's actually used… all the time. Escaflowne. Wizard of Oz. The Labyrinth. Even the Aha video of their song 'Take On Me' where the girl gets thrown into the word of a comic she was reading in a newspaper, and falls in love with the character. It's _everywhere_ I tell you! Everywhere!

This character, whose name I had yet to find out, was a girl who felt incomplete in her own life, despite the fact that there was really nothing wrong with it. She had a spunk which I found entertaining, and oh so similar to my own. And for a moment, I could believe that this was a real girl and it was really happening to her, and I didn't feel so alone. What if all stories told with this sort of plot where actual things that happened; only we're too limited in our own world to believe it?

As I watched, however, it became increasingly and uncannily familiar. I began to get creeped out. Her story was exactly like my own. To the letter, and practically to the word.

The episode hadn't progressed very far, because it was introducing the character. This apparently was an opportune time for Duo to come in and inform me of dinner. I spun on him, and literally pulled him over the back of the couch and onto the cushion next to me.

"Hey!" he protested. "what the heck are you-"

"Shh!" I hissed. "Watch this. Let me know if this seems familiar to you at all."

"But food-"

"WATCH IT!" I demanded.

He clamped his mouth shut and faced the television.

It was just in time to see my character's first trip to the unknown alternate world. Light flashed around her, blinding her, and she covered her eyes and screamed, though her voice fell away in the rushing of the surrounding noise.

And it happened, just as it had happened to me. And she arrived in the back seat of a car, and everything was happening all over again. It was like looking back on a mirror to the past.

Duo stared at the screen, with his jaw to the floor when he saw his… animated self. It didn't look like him, but it had his obvious attributes. You can't make a cartoon look exactly like a real person, but you can definitely see the resemblance.

"Holy shit…" he whispered. I gave a nervous laugh in agreement. Then he repeated it much louder. "HOLY SHIT! HEERO! QUATRE!" He leaped over the sofa the way he had come, and out the door. I could still hear his voice, "You have to come see this!"

"What?" I heard them both reply in unison. They all came rushing in, and Duo pointed frantically to the TV, blabbering on about what he had just seen.

"Baka, shut up!" Heero demanded. Then he paid attention to what was on television.

My eyes were still watching. This whole thing was seriously beginning to hurt my head. And I thought my situation was confusing before!

The events of the show showed what had happened the first night that I was there. Only this time, it wasn't in my own perspective, it was from an omnipresent view, and showed Quatre's… or at least the cartoon that looked like Quatre… reaction to hearing my arrival downstairs when I had entered the house. He had sensed my presence emotionally when I came in that night, and came down to inspect out of concern. At least according to this…

I stared up at him, and his jaw was on the floor with the rest of the men surrounding me. "You really are an empathic person, aren't you?" I whispered to him.

He merely swallowed and gave a slow nod. "This… this is impossible."

My only capable response was silence.

AN: Before I ask anything of any of you, I thank you for commenting on my last chapter, it is greatly appreciated. Okay, well you know the gist… please leave a decent comment; it helps and inspires me to continue. That is, unless you don't want me to continue…? A possibility? Yes. But then again I won't know who you people are (assuming you choose not to review), and I'll only see those people who DO review, so it won't really matter.

By the way, let me know if you think my chapters are too short. I'm contemplating whether I should try to make them longer or not. Okay, I luv you bai bai!

P.S.: This chapter came out a little bit faster than the last one, did it not? Or am I just deluding myself? I'll try to get them out a little bit faster though, I posted two months ago… I can't believe I've been writing this for two years! XX

P.P.S.: Leptons are fermions that lack strong interactions.

P.P.P.S.: Don't ask. I'm sleep deprived, forgive me.

P.P.P.P.S.: This is a ridiculous amount of post-scripts…


	10. Now we're even

**Chapter 10: Now we're even…**

My head reeled from our latest discovery, and for once, I was glad that I wasn't the only one. The three guys looked just as confused as I was.

We sat silently at the table together, eating dinner. Every now and then I would hear Duo mutter something along the lines of "impossible" and Heero was skewering his food onto his fork with renewed vigor. Quatre hardly ate, even though he was the one who cooked.

My first instinct was to leave. My second was to say something. But my mind stopped myself from doing both. Leaving would be rude, and talking would be annoying. So instead I allowed myself to be taken away by my mind into countless theories and philosophies as to how this has happened.

So, this is what Heero and everyone else felt like when I told them they were cartoon characters. I was left to question my own reality and my own free will. Has my existence been created solely for the purpose of this cartoon? Clearly there had to have been a mistake, since I wasn't supposed to be thrown into THIS world, because I was created here. Or was I? I didn't know anymore. Maybe this is all just someone else's story and they're telling it exactly how it's happening to me. It boggles the brain.

If I was fake, then that means that everything else I knew was fake as well… my friends, my family… and it made them seem less real, and to my shock it automatically made it feel easier to let go of my previous home. This thought disturbed me, and I began to feel sick. I pushed my dish of food away from me.

"Are you not hungry?" Quatre asked, breaking the silence.

"No." I whispered. I began to feel tears working in the back of my throat, and I took my napkin from my lap. "I… I'm going to bed." I announced softly, and stood up. I began to take my plate.

"I'll take care of it." It was Heero who said it, and I stared at him. His eyes were averted towards the glass sliding door, as if he found something peculiarly interesting over there. I wasn't sure whether to listen to him or do it anyway. Finally he glanced at me, and I set my plate down.

"Thanks." I muttered. "Goodnight everyone."

Once I got into my room, I sat on the end of my bed, staring at my hands. After living with my new appearance for so long, I began to get used to myself. And the more I thought about it, the less I could really grasp the picture of how people looked from my world. It was still there, of course, but an image in the mind is so miniscule compared to the actual visual experience. I missed my family. My friends. I wanted to talk to someone, someone who knew me for who I was… or at least who I used to be. My best friend Alicia, my mom… I always had a good relationship with my mom.

But there were things that I don't regret leaving behind or forgetting. In fact, I think I could do without my entire childhood.

My parents were divorced when I was five, and my father was given custody of us. He was an incompetent parent… even I could tell when I was little. But my mom couldn't handle the responsibility. Don't get me wrong, I know she loved my brother and me. She always tried to see us, and even though she chose not to keep us, I always found her to be the better parent.

My father… my least favorite human being in all of existence. To me he was the closest epitome of evil that I had ever experienced. He didn't know how to raise children, and was always… strict. The thought of him only manages to bring back bad memories, and it's no wonder why. As I was so disruptively reminded earlier at the computer with Quatre, I have a history of molestation with my father. It's not something that I prefer to dwell on anymore.

If I am just a made up character, then that produces new anger at my creator. Why must someone create such pain for their character? Whatever. If there is something good to get from this new information, it is that the girl always ends up going back home. Dorothy always goes back to Kansas.

That night I slept uneasily, with strange dreams drifting in and out of my subconscious. Faceless people, with no form, only shadow. The strange feeling of a small pin overwhelmed by surrounding boulders, yet they weren't boulders and there wasn't a pin, because there was no form… it was a feeling. It was weakness. Loss of power. Loss of control. And the feeling of falling…

I awoke with a start in the middle of the night, worried that I would be tipped from my bed into… what? I couldn't remember my dream. They seemed like just whispers to me, stolen away by my consciousness.

It was pitch black and late… and whatever it was that I was dreaming was making me feel uneasy, as if something or someone would come out of the shadows and overpower me…

"Idiot…" I muttered to myself. "You're still scared of the dark."

But saying this didn't make me feel any better, and I turned on my light. There was no hope for sleep anymore. At least not for tonight. I sat up against my bed post for the rest of the night. I had never felt so alone.

Days later I still didn't feel much better than before. I hardly slept anymore, and when I did sleep I'd wake up feeling scared and small. I refused to tell anyone, however, and I hardly spoke to Heero, Duo, or even Quatre. I had completely closed off. The only time the four of us would be together would be for meals and for watching the cartoon.

I stayed up late every night, writing notes to myself to hypothesize and theorize my predicament. And other times I would just write nonsense… I would ramble on in my writings about philosophies. I would make a pro's and con's list of my situation and a pro's and con's list if I was never to go home. I was running out of paper in my folder very fast.

Finally, I decided to try and draw or paint the people that I remembered and cared about. I stayed up late in the dining room, with the curtains for the sliding door closed, keeping me safe from the lurking darkness behind me. The dark emptiness of the house and the new thought of the intimidating basement below my feet made me keep the dining room and living room lights on.

I had found old children's watercolors in my bedroom, and I sat there at the table, struggling to make a perfect likeness of my mother. All was in complete silence, except for the rustling of the trees outside. The weather had become increasingly chilly over the past couple of weeks, and rain was beginning to come in almost predictable patterns. I was so frustrated with my failed attempts to recreate the people that I had loved so much, that it seemed to constrict my chest and cause a lump in my throat that I could not rid myself of.

Then I heard the front door open and slam shut, and I jumped in my spot, causing my muddy-colored water to spill all over my painting. I cursed loudly, and threw the ruined artwork across the table, along with the plastic container I was using to hold the water, which fell on the floor with an echoing thud. I placed my head in my hands, and the lump in my throat was starting to loosen as my eyes began to brim with tears. I couldn't understand what made me so upset. The sound of the door had startled me; I hadn't even heard the key, it was no big deal.

I looked up between my fingers, and saw Trowa standing there in front of me. He stared at me for a moment, and then picked up the plastic container that I had so viciously thrown.

I attempted to wipe away the tears that were in my eyes, and began to try to clean up my mess. "I didn't get you wet, did I?" I asked, though my voice sounded constricted.

"No." he replied. He stepped forward and picked up my ruined and abandoned portrait.

I finally caved, and slammed my hands on the table in defeat. I knew the reason for my anger. "I can't do it…" I whispered through my tears. "I can't remember them. I can't recreate how they used to look. It's becoming like a dream for me now …" I slumped down into my seat, and put my head in my hands. "I can't remember them."

"You mean your family." Trowa replied quietly. He stared back at the painting. "This was… your mother?"

I nodded silently. Then I heard the pounding of feet coming down the stairs. Duo and Quatre appeared first, and greeted Trowa enthusiastically. Heero followed afterwards, his hands in his pockets. He glanced at Trowa for a moment, as if acknowledging his return with little or no interest, and then looked at me. I immediately looked down at my hands again. I began to quietly try to clean up my mess while Quatre and Duo were preoccupied. Maybe I could sneak by unnoticed...

But oh, it could never be that easy for me. Yes, it was clearly a rule that whenever I have my nervous breakdowns, EVERYONE will be there for it.

Duo noticed the mess that I was attempting to hide. "Whoa… what happened here?"

"My entrance startled her while she was painting." Trowa replied, beating me (thankfully) to the punch.

I gave a chuckle to go along with it, but it sounded artificial to my ears. I kept my head bent as I cleaned up. Heero stooped down and began to help me. "You don't have to…" I said quietly to him.

"Are you alright?" He asked me, keeping his voice just low enough so the others wouldn't pick up on it while they continued to talk.

"I'm fine," I replied, and I wiped more vigorously at the floor, pieces of the paper towel beginning to fall apart.

He stopped my hand with his own, and held it firmly on the floor. "Lynn." He said sternly, and I glanced up at him. He looked agitated, and… much to my surprise… concerned at the same time.

"I…I don't want to talk about it." I whispered, as I wiped up the last of the water. Two final defiant drops of tears fell from my eyes and landed on the dry floor, and I wiped them up quickly. "It doesn't matter."

I went to bed quickly, leaving Heero there on his knees, and saying goodnight to them all quickly before rushing up the stairs. As I lay in bed I rubbed the hand that Heero had touched. It was the second time he willingly touched me, and both times were out of concern. So he didn't completely hate me after all. I smiled softly to myself and fell asleep.

Apparently, by the next evening, Trowa had already been informed of everything that had happened in his absence, and he sat in front of the TV with us, to watch the cartoon. Quatre sat on the end of the couch nearest to the door, I sat next to him, Heero sat next to me, and Duo found a place on the arm. Trowa pulled up the computer chair and sat in it with the chair backwards (looking awfully sexy as he did so).

The episode started from where everyone discovered that I was who I said I was. The entire trial of the DNA tests and everyone was shown in almost perfect imitation. I glanced at Trowa momentarily, who met my eyes, causing me to feel embarrassed and look back at the television screen. Finally it reached my cartoon self looking out the window at the rain. This led to a flashback, and my stomach dropped. Had I known that what I'd be thinking would be displayed in this cartoon…

A little girl watched from a window as a car drove away, while she cried to herself and called out to her mother. She could have been no more than five years old. The rain pelted down, slamming against the window, making the sight of her mother driving away less and less visible. My breath caught in my throat when I realized that that was me… that was when my parents got divorced.

Another flashback. The same girl, probably about six or seven this time, was sitting on her front doorstep, doing her homework by herself. Only I knew she was home alone. Her father drove by just then, glaring at her, and she panicked. She quickly picked up her belongings and ran inside. By the time she ran into her room and hid under her bed, her father came in, a fiery anger in his eyes. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NEVER TO GO OUTSIDE! WHERE ARE YOU? GET OUT FROM UNDER THAT BED!" I squeezed my eyes shut against that memory. I opened my eyes again, completely entranced by what was happening. I couldn't turn away. Not yet.

Another flashback. The girl was cowering on the couch with her younger brother, while their father repeatedly smacked them and hit them, yelling at them, screaming, "WHAT DID I TELL YOU? YOU LISTEN TO ME!" The two children both continuously cried out, "Yes sir! Yes sir!" "STOP SAYING THAT!" He bellowed as he smacked them again. Tears started to work in the back of my throat, but I swallowed them. Oh my God, oh my God… what were the others thinking right now? I couldn't look at them. Why couldn't I move? Why couldn't I just turn of the T.V.?

Finally, another flashback. It was late at night, and the girl was about to leave the living room and go to bed, when her father called her back. My eyes were wide with horror. "Oh no…" I whispered. The father laid her down on the floor, his face twisted in a leer. Then all you could see were the girl's legs, and the father's hands pulling down her underwear. Silence befell the room like never before. I gasped and covered my mouth, tears building in my eyes. Oh no, oh God no! Anything but this! Please don't show this!

A small cry escaped me then, and I lunged at the TV, clawing at it, trying to turn it off, though my hands weren't working the way they should. My finger finally hit the right button. The screen went black; I could see my own dark reflection against it, with the appalled men behind me. Tears fell, and I leaped up from the floor, and ran out of the room. My sobs that I held back broke loose as soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Lynn!" I heard a voice call. It was Quatre. Oh God, leave me alone! "Lynn, wait!" I didn't know whether to keep running, or to turn around and grasp him as hard as the pain of my memories were grasping me.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, taking two steps at a time. Almost to the top, I tripped and fell. I tried to push myself up and go up the rest of the way to my room, but Quatre's hands on my hips halted me. Immediately his arms were around me and he was at my side, and I clung to him as I cried like I hadn't cried for a long time. He sat there on the steps with me, holding me, and still I cried. Everything came back to me, everything I had worked so hard to heal from and move on. All the damage that was done came back and it shocked me. Finally I was able to choke out between my tears, "You were never suppose to see it… I didn't even want any of you to know. Not like that."

"Sshh…. It's okay." he whispered to me, but I shook my head.

"No… no it's not okay! It's _not_ okay!" I cried, as I pulled away from him and stared down at the carpet of the stairs, my vision blurred by my tears. "I didn't think I'd ever have to look back. Not like that. I never thought I'd end up seeing it again. I wasn't supposed to see it."

He put his hand on my back then, and rubbed in small circles. I let go of some more sobs and as he took me in his arms again, I finally said, "I figured… since I'm here, away from my world, then I could leave that past behind me. I just wanted to be normal here. I was already different enough as it was." I sniffed, and wiped my eyes, though it didn't do any good. I looked at Quatre again, and I could see the pain there. My pain. He was sharing it with me, and I didn't want him to. "I was so weak. I was so weak… That's the weakest I've ever been, and I hated it then, and I hate it now. I promised myself I'd never be weak again. I promised myself…" I looked back at the carpet.

"You were a little girl." Quatre said his voice angry. I had never heard him angry before, especially not like this. It took me by surprise. "He was stronger than you, and he took advantage of it."

I brushed his words away. "I was ten years old, Quatre! _Ten!_ Jesus Christ! I was old enough to know what was going on! I was old enough to be worried that my little brother would walk in! I didn't say no! I could have… but I didn't." Tears fell some more, and I put my head to the carpet.

Quatre took me by my shoulders then, and had me face him. "Listen to me." He demanded. "You couldn't have said no, because he had power over you, and he knew it. You didn't want to, but you were protecting yourself. You were scared. Anyone would be." His voice went soft on the last sentence, and my heart squeezed painfully.

I leaned against his chest and continued to cry, and he wrapped his arms around me again. I kept whispering, "I didn't want to see… I didn't want _you_ to see." Quatre sighed, but didn't say anything.

After a minute or two, I calmed down enough so that he could lead me to my room. He had me sit down on my bed, and he kneeled in front of me, looking into my eyes with his aqua ones. "At least you were able to make him go to prison," he finally said. I smiled weakly and nodded. He smiled back, and that was the end of the topic.

I let out a shuddering breath and said, "I need to read a good book."

Quatre looked around the room. "Nothing good in here…" he said. "One of my sister's rooms. She had a terrible taste in literature. Especially at the age of seven…" I grinned at him. "I'm sure I have something in my room that you would enjoy…" he stood up to go, and I clung to his hand. I wasn't ready to be alone yet. He smiled down at me. "You can come with me, if you'd like…"

It was the second time I had been in Quatre's room, the first being the time that we went to the circus. For some reason it felt so long ago, when really it wasn't. I sat on the edge of his large comfy bed, and watched him rummage through his bookshelves. Finally he pulled down an old, worn book that looked rather sad. I was afraid to touch it, lest it fall apart at my fingertips.

"This one is very old." He announced. He sat down next to me on his bed. "My grandmother used to own it, and my father read it to me as a child. It's my favorite book, and lucky for you, it's in English."

I smiled and gently took it from him. "I'll be very careful with it."

There was silence after this, and I didn't know what to expect. Was this my cue to leave? Or would he let me stay? Quatre wasn't giving me any signs, but sat there, with his fingers interlocked on his lap, staring at the floor patiently.

I took a leap of chance. "Quatre…" I started.

"Yes?" he replied calmly, and he looked directly into my eyes, something which always took me off guard.

"Thank you…" I whispered. "For everything."

He gave a true smile when I said these words, and placed his hand over mine. It momentarily reminded me of what Heero had just done the day before. Quatre's voice cut through my thought. "You're welcome." I stared at the gesture, and he quickly took his hand away, blushing profusely. "Sorry…"

I took his hand into my own and gave it a reassuring friendly squeeze. "It's okay. Out of everyone that I know here so far, you're the one that's always there for me. You don't understand how important that is to me. You're my closest friend. But I have one more thing to ask of you."

Quatre looked puzzled and slightly apprehensive. "And what's that?"

"Can I stay here with you right now? I don't want to be alone. I need someone's company, you see." Then I added with a grin, "I promise I'll just sit here and read your book…"

He laughed at this, and replied, "I'll be glad to have your company. I have some reading to do myself."

So we both sat on his bed, leaning against large fluffy pillows. He was completely right… the book was an excellent book. It had a lot to do with the human mind and human interaction… it was very much based in psychology, and it offered suspense, romance, and humor. Yet, as good as the book was, Quatre's bed was very fluffy and comfortable, and before I could stop myself, I drifted off to sleep, the book still in my hand.

I woke up in my own bed, in my own room. Sunlight spilled into my room merrily, as if nothing bad has ever happened upon this Earth. It was refreshing. I stretched underneath my covers, and slowly slipped out of bed. I walked to the window and threw open the two halves of glass, just in time to get a nice cold, autumn breeze in my face. I closed my eyes against it, and gave a long sigh. I always get a content feeling after having a good crying fest, not to mention the weather and Quatre's kindness helped as well. I opened my eyes again. There were still clouds in the sky, but they were parted for once, and they were big and beautiful today. I looked down into the yard, and noticed Quatre and Trowa sitting at the water fountain, engaged in conversation.

I looked to the nightstand, and noticed that my book was resting on it, its age more apparent with the sunlight filling the room. I walked over and sat back down on my bed, and held the book in my hands. And for the first time since I have been here, I felt like I could stay forever.

I dressed in fresh clothes… another tank top and shorts… and left my room, down to the kitchen. I realized I wasn't hungry once I got there, and changed my course. Instead, I ended up at the pool, staring at the inviting water. It was motionless, and I walked up and swept my foot in it. The liquid flowed between my toes, almost like a massage.

I had been planning to go swimming for a while, but had been too lazy to get around to it. I shrugged off the fact that I didn't have a bathing suit, and went to the deep end of the pool. I dived in without a second thought, and spun in the water silently. I came back up and took a deep breath of fresh air.

I had been in the water for a while, doing laps and dives, and finally I relaxed and floated silently. I noticed someone enter right then, and I turned to get a better view. Who else would it be but Heero Yuy? He had his towel flung over his shoulder, and he was wearing blue swim trunks. Needless to say, he looked surprised to see me there. He stopped in his tracks. I immediately felt the discomfort rise within me… he saw my past in colorific detail. It was apparent that he was having an inner struggle on what to do as well… continue with his plan to go swimming, or turn around and walk out.

He chose the latter. But I wouldn't let him off that easily. I was tired of him acting weird around me. As he turned around to leave, I splashed him with pool water.

That stopped him in his tracks. He turned around and gave me an icy glare, and I gave him a jovial wave.

"I believe you were planning to get wet anyway, weren't you?" I commented. I heard him growl. I became more serious. "I think we should talk."

"There's nothing to talk about." he replied.

"Oh really?" I announced, my tone becoming angry. I began to get out of the pool and march toward him. "Is that why you flinch every time you look at me? Is that why you avoid me whenever you're faced with having to deal with me? Am I really that bad of a human being that you can't stand to have me in your presence?"

He looked taken aback by my words. "No…" he replied.

"Really? Are you sure? Well I know you're not an idiot, Heero… You know how you act around me and how you treat me. And I daresay, that if you're going to keep on treating me the way that you're treating me, then I damn well have the right to get an explanation. I mean, sometimes you're fine! You can actually be a nice guy towards me once in a while! But other times…? I don't know…" My rant fell away into nothingness. I didn't have anything else to say to him.

He didn't respond. I attempted to hold eye contact with him, but he looked away. I shook my head in disappointment. "You can't even look me in the eye…" and with that I turned my back on him, ready to return to my swimming session.

"I…" he started, and I stopped in my tracks. I didn't turn around. I waited for him to continue. "I'm ashamed." he said quietly, and I spun on him.

"What?" I replied, as if I couldn't believe my ears.

"I'm ashamed." he repeated. He still wasn't making eye contact, and his hands were clenched into fists.

"Of what?" I asked quietly.

"Yesterday… what we were watching…"

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

He continued. "I didn't stop watching… I should have, and I didn't." He looked me in the eye finally, and he looked so pretty… "You told me before that if you knew that I was a real person, that you wouldn't have watched my past. I knew it was your past… I could see your reactions, but I watched it anyway. I directly violated your privacy and it was exactly what I was accusing you of, it was what I was holding against you. I became a hypocrite, and there's no excuse for it. I am ashamed."

I walked up to him again, and put my hand on his arm. "You're right… there is no excuse for it. But what's done is done. I wish you didn't know about what happened to me… not like that. And what made it worse, was that I saw my own memory in that, my own weakness, which was something you didn't have to face. But at the same time a part of me is glad that you know… that all of you know, because that makes us even. Now I know how you feel, and now you know how I feel."

I began to walk back to the water, and Heero followed me. I tried to look anywhere but at him; his body kept drawing my vision back, and it was giving me all sorts of forbidden ideas. I sat down at the waters edge, splashing with my feet. In the process of looking around the pool area, I noticed Duo come out of the locker room. He was moving awfully quietly for someone normally as loud as him… I glanced back at Heero who was currently oblivious to his presence, and finally it registered. I attempted to suppress my grin, and attempted not to notice the braided sneak. I attempted to talk to Heero some more, just as Duo was sneaking up on Heero's back.

"So… Heero… don't you ever play?" I asked.

He looked confused by this question. "What do you mean?"

Right then, Duo came within range, and pushed Heero over the edge and into the water. He came up sputtering, his face contorted in anger. "DUO! OMAE O KOROSU!"

Duo and I were cracking up, and Heero's eyes fell on me. "You! You knew he was going to do that!"

I cracked up even harder, and fell back onto the floor, my feet still in the water, kicking. I nodded in confirmation. "Oh, it was so beautiful, Heero! You should have seen the look on your face at first!"

Duo blew on his finger nails and pretended to polish them on his chest with pride. He was standing right next to me, and I grinned mischievously, and pushed him by the back of his legs into the water after Heero.

Heero had to duck Duo's flying body, and a giant splash rained on all of us. Duo came up, pieces of his braid coming apart. "Traitor!" he shouted at me. I squealed, and moved my legs out of the water to escape vengeance, but to no avail… Heero had grabbed onto me. Duo took one foot, and Heero held the other, and they dragged me into the water after them.

I collided into someone's body, and at first I lost sense of what was up and what was down. Then a hand grabbed me and pulled me up. I coughed up some water, and rubbed the chlorine out of my eyes, and began to laugh. Heero was the one that had pulled me up, his hand still clasping my wrist. I splashed water into his face, and he winced. He let go of my hand and dunked me under. I couldn't tell who's feet were near me, but guessing they were his, I grabbed them and pulled with all of my might.

I came back up and noticed Duo coming up for air. "HEY!" He protested.

I kept laughing. "Sorry, I thought you were Heero!" But this made no difference to him. I was dunked a second time. I cam up sputtering again. "That's okay, Duo… I was still the one that pushed you in…"

"Is that so?" Duo said with a smirk. He grabbed me by my waist and began to march out of the water. I knew what he was going to do. I struggled and writhed against him, making it as difficult as I could. "Oi! Heero, help me out here!"

"Please, Duo! Heero's not the type to-" But then I felt strong calloused hands clamp around my legs to keep me from kicking, and I noticed Heero at my feet.

"As you were saying?" Duo beamed. They marched me right out of the water, to the side of the pool, and tossed me in like I was a sack of potatoes.

I came up out of the water, just in time to see Duo dusting off his hands. "Damn gundam pilots…" I muttered, just loud enough for them to hear. Dear Duo, being as arrogant as can be, was oblivious of Heero's true intentions until it was too late. Poor Duo flew into the water right next to me, while Heero stood above us, a look of satisfaction on his face.

"Heero, you bastard!" Duo yelled.

Heero raised an eyebrow in interest. "What are you going to do? Shoot me?"

"You're one to talk…" Duo smirked. "I'm not the only one who makes idle threats…"

I swam away from them, and floated aimlessly in the water, listening to them talk back to each other. Finally, things are beginning to become normal…


	11. It's time to meet the Creator

Dreamweaver02: Holy crap monkeys!

Gundam pilots: O.o?

Dreamweaver02: Look! I'm writing again! Yay! Chapter 11!

Wufei: It took you long enough onna! Who needs 5 months to write one chapter?

Dreamweaver02: (hits Wufei with a whacking stick) Silence! I'd like to see you handle 16 units of pure math and science for a semester, working 20 hours a week, apply for universities, and still have some form of a life!

Duo: Um… actually we've got it worse. We're teenage guys trying to save the earth and the colonies from ultimate destruction with large fighting machines that can control your brain.

Dreamweaver02: …… Oh.

**Chapter 11: It's time to meet the Creator…**

I typed at the computer furiously, looking up all I could on my own anime. I found out that it was created by a Japanese man named Hiroshi Murakita. It was a brand new anime, having to do with an American girl named after myself. Or maybe I'm named after her. I can't even tell anymore. Surprisingly the ratings have been doing pretty damn well, probably because the plot idea is such a popular thing among the otaku fandom. I wish I could tell everyone that it's not nearly as awesome as it sounds.

Then I began to come across fan pages. There was some artwork for the show, and screen shots. I tried to avoid looking at them, because it just weirded me out a little too much. Then I came across fanfics.

Oh. My. God. I was paired with nearly every single character (or in this case gundam pilot). My cheeks burned red hot at some of the things I came across, and I decided to stop looking at them. It was just too embarrassing.

Instead I decided to do research on other things. I wanted to go through the news lately, find out anything that might give me some more clues on what's going on with this vengeance group that the guys are trying to avoid. Naturally, however, information was very slim. I found a number of new occurrences concerning violence in locations where Preventers were nearby. However, the news attributed these acts to immature young activists. And really, when you think about it, these kind of people exist all the time, not matter what's going on in the world. I figured the Preventers were in charge of this; trying to keep it quiet so that the public won't panic. I checked up on other issues, like children being kidnapped from foster homes and adoption houses. Most of these children are those left over from the war. It made my heart twist just thinking about it. The rest of the news was pointless issues about celebrities and taxes and such things. Space-fillers are what I call them.

I was lying down outside, on the first sunny day in over a week, eating tuna and crackers. I stared up at the passing tufts of cloud, as a soft autumn breeze made the grass sway, and my hair flutter slightly. I sighed to myself, uneasiness swimming in my gut. Or maybe it was the tuna. What should I do? Should I wait this whole cartoon thing out? I've learned through many anime that the main character always goes home in the end. Is that what will happen? And if so, how long will it take? Should I really take that kind of a chance? And better yet, do I have control over my life at all anymore? What if I fall in love while I'm here? Would that be my heart's choice, or would that be the control of a creator constructing my existence for me? I couldn't bear to think of it. I have to think that I have control over my life… otherwise, what's the point of living at all?

In my heart I knew what I had to do. I had to go talk to the creator of my cartoon. I have to talk to Hiroshi Murakita. I must go to Japan.

I pitched my idea to the group at dinner, much to their surprise.

"What do you hope to accomplish?" Heero asked me, his eyes narrowed in skepticism.

"I don't know." I replied. "But I know I have to go."

"You can't just go wandering about without a real goal." Trowa commented.

"Not all who wander are lost." I quoted. "What harm will it really do? I need to do this you guys. Please."

"So… let me get this straight." Duo cut in. "You're going to march into the production building, and demand to see this Hiroshi guy?"

I shrugged. "I guess so." I replied.

"Riiight. Okay. Let's just say you can get in… hypothetically speaking." Duo continued. "What do you plan to tell him? 'Hi, I'm the main character of your cartoon'?"

"Yes." I replied. "Look, I know it sounds ridiculous. But I feel that if I talk to him, I'll be able to convince him."

"How?" Quatre asked, bringing himself into the conversation. Even he sounded skeptical.

"Every person who creates a character creates an entire history for them. And they don't put that entire history into writing. I'm sure that if I tell him about myself, things that haven't been told before, then I'm sure that I'll start telling him stuff that only he knows about. And it'll be stuff that he's only thought of. Does that make any sense?"

There was a pause of silence. Then Quatre said, "I guess so… but it's a stretch, Lynn. A really big stretch."

"I don't care." I muttered.

"We can't go gallivanting around to go fulfill your own outrageous theories, Lynn." Heero said icily. "In case you don't remember, the rest of us are being hunted. This is no time for a vacation."

"It's not a vacation." I snapped at him. "And I'm not asking you to come. You can't keep me locked up in this house forever. I'd rather die than live the remainder of my years like a caged animal."

"This may actually get her out of danger." Trowa commented. "She's in more danger here than she is if she goes to Japan."

"Trowa, they're everywhere." Heero stated. "At least here she will be under our protection."

"Then maybe we should have someone go with her." Quatre stated.

"If one of you will come with me, then you can help me talk to Murakita, and support me in what I'm saying. This is as much my issue as it is yours. Keep in mind… this anime may not keep its focus solely on me." I said.

"That's assuming someone would be crazy enough to believe this whole thing." Duo commented.

"If this anime starts to change it's focus and shows not just what's happening with us, but also what's happening with your enemy, then what happens if one of them comes across this cartoon one night, watches it, and discovers it's uncanny ability to tell THEIR story? It might just make a believer out of someone. Then you also have to consider that even though this cartoon could be beneficial in some ways, it's really not for us… because we're probably the good guys in this anime, so more information about us will be given than about whoever it is that you guys are fighting. I've noticed that in a lot of stories, the enemy is always kept more mysterious, whereas the main characters aren't, so that the audience can connect with them."

This caused all of them to start thinking.

"Then who's going with her?" Heero finally asked.

"I could go." Quatre volunteered.

"No." Trowa said. "We rely on your resources too much. Not to mention you're the heir to the Winner Foundation. You're too recognizable, even if people don't know you're a gundam pilot."

"How about me?" Duo offered.

"Not with that braid of yours." Heero replied. "Maybe if you didn't get yourself caught and have your face posted everywhere you could get away with it."

Duo glared at him, and crossed his arms. "Well excuse me for living!"

"I can't go either." Trowa said. "I'm also… unique. I was undercover as an OZ soldier for a while. My information was too available. I'm too recognizable."

"I think your unibang might have something to do with that…" I grinned.

Trowa narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm not changing my hair."

I stifled my laughter, and added, "Well Wufei doesn't even know about all of this."

All eyes fell on Heero.

I gave a heavy sigh, as I got the mental picture of Heero holding a gun to Hiroshi Murakita's head. "Well, at least I know Heero will be able to get Murakita to listen to me."

Heero was not happy at ALL about having to accompany me on my self-proclaimed mission. I'm sure it was hard enough for him to be able to make up an excuse to leave the Preventers in the middle of all that's been happening. Quatre paid for our plane tickets, and got us a rental car for when we get to Japan. As an additional bonus, Quatre was able to get us a private lunch with Hiroshi himself, stating that I was his relative, and wanted to be able to meet him for my birthday. I could only hope that this whole set up would work. We were to meet him in the production building once we landed in Tokyo.

We packed lightly, so we wouldn't have to use the baggage claim. Everything we brought was up in the storage bins above our seats.

The flight itself was long, and mostly silent. After a few failed attempts at conversation with Heero, I gave up and stared out the window. At least I got the window seat. I glanced at the rest of the people seated in the plane. Heero insisted that we sit in the very back, so that no suspicious person can sit behind us. I found it awkward being this paranoid. I looked out the window again.

Ground passed below us for what felt like an eternity. Desert, grasslands, forests, mountains… They all seemed to mesh together, and it made me feel disconnected from the Earth. Darkness came, and I stared until finally I couldn't see anything. We were served our dinner, which didn't taste that great. Then I sat in silence again. Finally, unable to stand the silence, I pulled out my CD player, and began to listen to my soundtrack score music.

I glanced at Heero, who didn't acknowledge my presence, as he flipped through the magazines placed in the seat in front of him for the millionth time.

I took out my right earpiece and offered it to him. He glanced at it, and then glanced at me. I gave him a small smile. "I know you're bored." I commented. "Might as well be bored with music."

He took the earpiece from me and put it in his ear. After a moment, he leaned back against his seat as James Horner's 'The Gift of Immortality' from Bicentennial Man played in his ear.

I woke up to the feeling of my stomach dropping as the plane lurched out of its altitude toward the runway, flying in wide circles in order to come down. It was still dark outside, and it felt like no time had passed. The lights of Tokyo lit up the sky, and I stared eagerly. I've always wanted to come to Japan… I just never thought it would be like this. I glanced at Heero, as the plane took what felt like another plunging drop. I instinctively grabbed Heero's hand, and closed my eyes. I hate it when planes do this. Sometimes having physical contact is all that keeps me grounded. I clutched Heero's hand until I felt the wheels of the plane hit the runway, and then I eased my grip and let out a breath.

"I didn't know you were afraid of flying." Heero told me.

"I'm not. I just don't like bumpy landings." I replied.

It was still dark outside, and I knew we wouldn't be meeting Murakita any time soon. All I could do was wait. We took a shuttle bus from the airport to the rental car pick-up, where Heero gave the proper information so that we could leave. A few minutes later, Heero was driving down the nearly empty streets of Tokyo, while I sat in the passenger's seat. There were signs everywhere in hiragana and katakana, and it made me wish that I knew how to read it all. On top of this, it took me a while to adjust to driving on the left side of the road.

Once again I attempted to make small talk. "You're from Japan, aren't you?" I asked.

Heero gave me a quick side-glance and shrugged. "I don't know. I doubt it."

"but-"

"My parents are of Japanese heritage. But I don't have any memories of growing up here. I was probably born on a colony. At least that's where Odin found me. I think." He gave me a cold glare after he said this. Then he added, "But of course you probably already knew that."

His look made me feel guilty, and I shook my head. "Actually I didn't. I told you everything I knew, Heero." I didn't want to talk to him anymore after that. I scooted as close to the car door as I possibly could, putting as much space between us as possible. We're only supposed to be here for a day or two, but suddenly it felt like I couldn't get this done soon enough.

We finally pulled into a crummy looking hotel, its hot red neon sign flickering in the night like a beacon of hopelessness. I stayed in the car while Heero got our room key. We entered the room, and I set my things down on one of the full beds. I didn't even realize that Heero and I would be sharing a room. I guess I had just assumed we'd be separate, and he'd knock on my door in the morning when it was time to leave. I turned on one of the bedside lamps and sat on the edge of the bed, cracking my knuckles nervously.

"Why are we sharing a room?" I asked.

"Because it's not safe for you to have your own room." Heero replied. "I'm supposed to be with you to protect you. I can't do that if there's a wall blocking us."

"Wouldn't you hear anyone if they came?" I asked, feeling puzzled.

"These people are professionals. They're what's left of OZ that hasn't been caught yet. They must be highly skilled to be able to avoid the Preventers for this long." He explained, as he sat down on the bed next to me and took of his shoes.

"Oh…" I muttered. It felt like minutes passed, and I lied down on the bed awkwardly, staring at the ceiling. The smell of cigarettes drifted up from the bedspread and I tried to suppress childhood memories. But acknowledging them made it too late. Finally I whispered to him, "Why did we have to pick such a dumpy hotel?"

Heero was quiet for a moment. "We don't want to draw too much attention to ourselves. Besides… I guess I'm used to it."

I stared at him, and he glanced at me again. I stared up at the ceiling.

"Why? Does it bother you?" he asked.

"It reminds me of how much I used to move around a lot." I replied. "My dad could never hold a job, so we moved all the time. I don't think I ever completed a full school year throughout elementary school. Wasn't very good for my social skills…" I laughed. "It reminds me of this one time when we spent Christmas in a hotel room. We had one of those stupid little table top plastic trees, and my brother and I got presents from the ninety-nine cent store. That was a long time ago."

There was a long silence, so I talked some more to fill it. "I probably shouldn't complain about it though… I mean, it can always be a lot worse, and kids all over the world have it worse. Some don't have Christmas at all. Some are starving. Some are orphans. I always try and remember things like that whenever I'm feeling sorry for myself."

There was silence again, and I decided to stop talking. I was probably just sounding like an annoying chatterbox. I could already tell that it was going to be a long night. There was no way I would be able to sleep. I wanted to read a book or something, but I didn't have one with me. The book that Quatre let me borrow was still at home, since I didn't want it to get damaged. I checked in the nightstand drawer to see if there was a bible there. Hotels always have the bible. They have the bible and a phone book. Surprisingly there wasn't one.

"What are you looking for?" Heero asked.

"A bible. I felt like reading." I replied as I closed the drawer.

"Is that something that used to be normal in your world?"

I nodded.

"Hotels don't keep bibles in their rooms anymore. Not here at least." Heero said. "A lot changes over two centuries."

"I guess so." I replied.

"You should go to sleep." Heero finally said. "It's late and we have a meeting to go to."

"I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight." I replied. Heero gave me a disapproving look. I defended myself. "I slept on the plane, Heero. I feel fine, really. Why don't _you_ go to bed?"

"I slept on the plane too." He replied. I knew he was lying, but I let it go. He wasn't my responsibility.

I turned on the TV, and channel hopped for about thirty seconds. This TV didn't have cable, nothing was in English, and it was really late at night, so all that was on was infomercials. I clicked the power button, and the screen went black. I gave a heavy sigh, and rolled over onto my side with my back to Heero. If I faced him, I'd probably end up staring at him the whole time, since he's the most interesting thing in the room.

Minutes felt like hours and I didn't dare look at the clock. I didn't want to depress myself on how slowly time was ticking by. I heard Heero ruffling through his bag, and then I heard a 'click'. A second later, I heard the soft typing of keys. I rolled over to see him on his laptop, the light of the screen casting a blue hue on his face, while the bedside lamp shined from behind, casting yellow light across his back. "What are you doing?" I asked, as he continued to type.

"Informing Trowa that we've arrived here safely, and that we'll be meeting Murakita tomorrow. Just so you know, right after we're done talking to him, we're taking the first flight back home."

At first the sound of his typing was annoying. But after a while it seemed to become like a steady rhythm, and I drifted off to sleep.

I was woken up by Heero shaking me awake. It felt like I had only been asleep for a few minutes. My body felt cold, and I realized that I wasn't under the covers. I groaned and grabbed the corner of the bedspread, rolling myself up in it. Once again the stale stench of cigarettes drifted into my nostrils, and it made me want to gag.

"Get up." Heero demanded, his tone just slightly irate.

"This bed stinks." I mumbled.

"Then get up and you won't smell it anymore." Heero replied.

"I'm coooold." I complained.

"I'll turn the heater on once we get in the car."

"but I'm cold nooowww…"

"Well you should have gotten under the covers last night then."

"Oh, shut up you."

"If you take a shower then you'll warm up."

"mm…. shower."

Heero tried to grab my arm and haul me out of bed, but I was prepared. I yanked my arm back, taking him by surprise so he lost his balance and fell on top of me on the bed. "Oof!" came from my mouth as Heero's sudden weight compressed my lungs. He pushed him up quickly, and I felt really embarrassed. I peaked out from under the covers to see his flushed face glaring at me, his eyes livid.

"Sorry… didn't mean for that to happen." I mumbled.

"Just get up."

I was tempted to point out the fact that he was blushing, but I decided against it.

Once we had left the hotel and gotten a quick breakfast, Heero drove us to the production building that held both of our fates in it. It wasn't very tall, and it looked rather old and shabby from the outside. The skies were thick with heavy rain clouds, a signal of the impending rainfall that was soon to come. Heero checked his watch with a glare. "We're early."

"So what are we going to do?" I asked.

"We'll wait." Heero replied.

"We're just going to stand here looking like a couple of idiots?" I stared at him in disbelief. "Screw that, let's go walk somewhere. I saw a park nearby; we can hang out there while we wait."

I started walking in the general direction of the park, and Heero followed his hands in his pockets. "What do you expect to do at the park?"

"I don't know, but it's gotta be better than standing outside this building." I replied. I looked around at the buildings with their signs in Japanese. "Teach me some Japanese, Heero."

"What?" he stopped in his tracks looking confused, and I turned around, stuffing my hands in the back pockets of my jeans.

"Teach me Japanese! Please? I think it'd be really useful, and I'm sure I'll need to learn it eventually-"

It happened in a split second. There was a loud explosion, and Heero tackled me to the ground, covering my body with his, as shards of glass rained down on us from the building behind us. The heat of the flames licked at our heels and the thunderous sound roared in our ears. Heero hauled me up with surprising strength, and nearly dragged me across the street to hide behind a car. My entire body was shaking, my hands cut from the glass. It took me a moment to realize that Heero was shouting at me. "WHAT?" I shouted.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" he repeated. I nodded shakily. I peaked over the car at the building that had exploded. My jaw dropped in horror. It was Murakita's building. I watched as flaming pieces continued to fall and land onto the sidewalk and the street.

"NNNOO!" I screamed, leaping out from our hiding spot and dashing up to the building.

"LYNN!" Heero shouted after me.

The heat from the flames was intense, and I raised my arms to block my eyes from the swirling ashes and smoke. What if someone was still alive in there? What if Murakita was still alive? We had to do something!

Just then I felt Heero's arms wrap around me as he again tried to haul me away from the flames. "LET ME GO!" I shouted, kicking and twisting with all of my strength. I broke free and ran up again, but Heero caught up with me and grabbed me by my shoulders, spinning me around to face him.

"NO ONE'S ALIVE!" he shouted over the roar of the destruction.

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" I shouted back angrily, trying to fight against his iron grip. Rain began to fall heavily, soaking my clothes, causing my hair to stick to my face. "WE HAVE TO TRY!"

"YOU'LL DIE IF YOU DO!" Heero bellowed. Then he quieted his voice a little. "It's not worth it!"

I wrenched myself away from him, my eyes stinging. "HOW DO YOU KNOW?" I yelled at him. "That was my only chance of going home! I don't want to be here anymore! And what if people are trapped in there? I can't just let them die! Who the hell are you to decide if it's worth it or not?"

Heero looked stunned, like I had slapped him. Then he said steadily, "We'll call the fire department. They're trained for this, Lynn. We can stay until they either find the bodies or find the survivors."

My lungs felt constricted and I wanted to cry. "They're not going to get here soon enough…."

I squared my shoulders and looked back at the flaming building. I knew he was right. It would be suicide. But the irrational part of me still wanted to go running in there, battling the flames. What if I did die? Would I automatically go home, or would that be the end of it? Heero was right… it wasn't worth it.

"I'll call them, and then I'll call Quatre to let him know of what's happened, and that we're all right." Heero informed me. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. I looked at it. It was cracked and falling apart. "Damn it." He cursed. "I must have landed on it when we fell down." He looked up at me into my eyes. "I'm going to go to the car and get the laptop."

"I'll go with you." I replied.

"No, you can't. We parked in the parking structure, and it might be too dangerous." Heero replied. He looked around for a place to put me as I glared at him. His eyes spotted a nearby phone booth. "Stay in there. No one will bother you, they'll think you're calling the paramedics. I'll be right back." With that, he spun on his heels and sprinted away.

"Why don't you use the payphone?" I yelled after him.

"It's not safe enough!" was his response, as he disappeared down the street and around the corner.

Begrudgingly I walked over to the phone booth, and picked up the phone as if to make a call. It beeped repeatedly, and the recorded operator came on. 'if you'd like to make a call…' I tuned it out. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the destruction. Sheets of rain came down heavily, darkening the day, and still the flames roared.

Someone knocked on the glass of the phone booth, and I jumped and spun around, expecting it to be Heero. But it wasn't. Instead it was a man I had never seen before. He had dirty blonde hair and dark eyes from what I could see. He was trying to say something through the glass, and I shook my head, and pointed at the phone. I turned my back on him, suddenly acting very intent on the conversation. He banged on the glass with his hand, and I turned around and shot him a glare. "I'm almost done!" I shouted. He grabbed the handle for the glass door, but I kept it closed. "Stop it!" I shouted. He glared at me, and I inched away instinctively. He slammed both hands against the glass, and then turned around to walk away. I paused for a moment paralyzed by fear, and then turned around back to the pay phone.

Suddenly there was a smash and a breaking of glass behind me. Rough unfamiliar hands grabbed me through the door, trying to pull me out of it. Sharp glass caught on my clothes, tearing through them and cutting my flesh. I screamed and fought against him. I pulled myself away from his grasp, and spun around. It was the same stranger, and I backed against the pay phone, but the space was small. He reached in and tried to grab me again with his right hand, and I screamed, fighting him off with my hands, using the phone receiver itself to hit him. I was trapped. His left hand came up, and I saw a black gun in his hand. I stopped instinctively, as he held it up underneath my chin. "Where is he?" He shouted.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I screamed. He was finally able to get a hold of me with his right hand, holding me by my hair. I grimaced, and he spun me around so my back was to him, keeping the gun trained on my throat, with sharp jagged pieces of glass beneath me, still intact to the door.

"Don't give me that shit! Where is he?" he shouted again. "If you don't answer me then I'll-"

I felt his hold on me get torn off, and I screamed as my hair got pulled. I fell to the ground, cutting my cheek on the protruding shards; glass was everywhere. His gun fell right next to me. I turned around and stared out of the phone booth to see a dark figure in the rain throw another on the ground. I knew it could only be Heero. He fell on top of him, and began to punch him, and I grabbed the gun next to me, and stumbled out of the booth. My lower back ached with throbbing pain where the glass had cut me, and my cheek throbbed. The stranger fought back, punching Heero square in the jaw, giving him just enough time to get up and get the upper hand. I raised up the gun with shaking hands, but by this point the two men were rolling around on the ground fighting fist against fist. There was so much rain that I couldn't tell them apart. Lightning flashed, and I could tell that the stranger was on top. Another flash of lightning, and I could see him reaching for something black and shining a few feet away. I instinctively ran up and kicked it out of his reach. Then I ran over and picked up the gun. He leaped off of Heero to come after me, but Heero grabbed him by his ankles and he fell, his face slamming into the concrete. Heero was on top of him in another flash, and with a swift motion, broke the man's neck with a twist of his head. Then there was silence. The faint wailing of sirens began to approach. My teeth chattered in the freezing cold.

Heero hovered on his knees over the dead man. Then he slowly stood up. I stood there, a gun in each of my hands. He lifted his face and our eyes locked. I dropped the guns, stunned by what had just happened. He just stood there for a moment, then he straightened up. "Let's go." He said quietly. He walked away and picked up the two guns that I had dropped.

I stared at the body. "What about…?" I choked, unable to finish my sentence.

"Don't worry about that. Let's go. We need to get out of here." Heero replied. "The car's in good condition."

I quietly followed him, and he waited for me to catch up, then took me by my arm to lead me away from the death. He seemed to be moving slower than normal, and I couldn't help but wonder how badly he was hurt.

We got back to the dingy hotel, and there in the light could I see the true extent of the damage. Heero had a cut above his left eye, and the corner of his mouth was bruised and discolored. I took his hand and led him into the bathroom. I had him sit down on the toilet, and I grabbed one of the hotel's washcloths and began to wash his face, cleaning his cut. It wasn't very deep, and I felt the worry in me ease a little bit. "Take off your shirt." I demanded. "I need to know if you're hurt anywhere else." Heero obeyed, and I could see that his body was marked with a number of bruises and cuts. "Are you hurt anywhere specific?" I asked. "I noticed that your movements are slower."

"Bruised ribs." He admitted. "But I'll be fine."

"I need to bandage that cut above your eye." I stated. "Do you have any medical supplies?" He nodded. I left the bathroom, feeling very numbed and detached, except for the throbbing, unbearable pain of my cut, and the ache of my head from having my hair pulled so brutally. I tried not to think about anything that had just happened. Otherwise I'd fall apart and now wasn't the time for that. I could already feel the faint buzz of panic rising in my throat; the fear, the pain, the horror of seeing so much death. And the guilt of it all possibly being my fault.

I came back with the bandages and disinfectant I had found in his pack, and laid them out on the counter. I dressed his wound as best as I could, and then began to rinse out the bloodied washcloth, with my back turned slightly to him.

That's when he stopped me. He put his right hand on my elbow and with his left hand moved my body so my back was facing him. He carefully lifted up my shirt to inspect my cut, and I flinched.

"Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?" he asked quietly. I couldn't answer him. I just bit my lip. He slowly stood up and lifted my torn and soaking shirt over my head, and I became very self conscious of how cold it was in that bathroom, and the fact that I was just standing there in my jeans and my bra. "Put your hands on the counter." He ordered.

I obeyed him and he took the washcloth and began to clean my cut. I bit my lip harder to keep myself from crying in pain. Then came the excruciating stinging of the disinfectant he applied, and I gasped. He dressed my cut with gauze, and it was done. Then he turned me around to face him, and wiped away the blood from the cut on my face, and inspected it. "This cut isn't that deep, so you'll be fine." He stated. Afterwards we just stood there in complete silence.

I glanced up at his face to thank him finally, but I didn't get that far. One look into his eyes and the entire universe came crashing down. Tears escaped my eyes and the knot in my throat unleashed itself into a torrent of sobs. I put my forehead against his bare shoulder, and put my arms around him as I cried. Rough strong hands came up and wrapped around my body, and he gently held me there, letting me release all of the agony built up within me.

"I'm sorry…" I sobbed. "This is all my fault… I never should have demanded to come here. I'm so stupid! And Murakita's dead, and so is everyone else and that man..." I couldn't say anymore. I had never seen death like that. In fact, I had never seen death at all. The blow that it gave me was brutal.

"It's not your fault." Heero said quietly, his voice steady. "No one could have known what would happen."

I couldn't really believe his words, as much as I wanted to, so still I cried. It was like I suddenly had this dark void within me, and I couldn't do anything about it.

After a while, my sobs began to subside into hiccups and gasping breaths, and I tried to get myself under control. I finally began to come back down to earth. Suddenly everything in that little bathroom began to come back with a heightened sense of awareness. Like the fact that I could feel Heero's body heat from having our chests against each other as I hugged him. And the fact that I was half naked. I immediately pulled away, covering my chest with my arms. I glanced up into Heero's face, and we both made eye contact. We looked away quickly, and I knew I was blushing. I glanced at Heero a second time, and noticed that he was blushing as well, although it looked very faint. More than anything, I noticed how cold and stony his expression had gotten, like a giant brick wall came slamming down as a barrier. I watched him take a deep steady breath, and he looked at me again, and I could tell that he was struggling to keep is eyes trained on my face only.

He grabbed one of the dry towels and put it over my head. Then he asked, "Did you bring an extra change of clothes?" I nodded. "Then go get dressed."

I obeyed him and he stayed in the bathroom as I changed as quickly as my sore body would allow. Once I was done, Heero came out and grabbed his clothes to change in the bathroom. I tried to get the mental picture of him changing out of my head, and I could still feel the warmth and tautness of his body on my hands.

Once he came out, I asked him, "What do we do now?"

"We go home." He replied.

Author's Note: OMG you guys, I am SO SORRY it's taken so long! ;; Good news is that I'm done with community college now (well, with my transfer program at least… I am signed up for three night-classes, but they're really easy: art, strings instruments, and piano), so I'll be having more time to write. I'm working more though, but I'll still be able to get more of the stuff done that I've wanted to do for a long time. I know this sounds like the same old story, but trust me! I'm already starting the next chapter!

Please review! I'll love you for it!


	12. Wufei and his impeccable timing

**Chapter 12: Wufei and his impeccable timing**

We got home the next day. My back ached from sitting awkwardly on the plane the entire time, due to my sore back. Heero had informed the rest of the guys via email from his trusty laptop of everything that had happened. So when I walked through the front door, I was bombarded by four worried men. Yes, four. Wufei was there too. Whereas Duo and Quatre seemed most concerned of mine and Heero's physical condition, Trowa and Wufei seemed most concerned about the event itself.

Heero and I were immediately rushed in, with tons of questions thrown our way, asking us to retell the event, as they eyed our visible wounds. Quatre checked the cut on my cheek, while Duo eyed Heero's bandage above his eye.

"Are you guys alright?" Quatre asked.

"How are your ribs, Heero?" Duo asked.

"Lynn needs to have her bandage changed." Heero informed; it almost seemed like an attempt to steer the attention away from him.

Quatre leaped to this, and practically dragged me off into the bathroom. He had me lift my shirt up and over my shoulders so that he could check the bandage. As he peeled it off of my body and washed the cut with a washcloth, he talked to me. "Oh, Lynn, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Are you alright? Heero told us what happened."

"I'm fine." I said hoarsely.

Once Quatre was done, he turned me around to face him, and I pulled my shirt back down slowly and painfully. "You don't have to lie to me, Lynn. I know you're upset." I stared into his sympathetic eyes, and I looked away.

"Of course I'm upset…" I muttered. "I saw a building burst into flames with innocent people inside, and then I saw Heero kill a man with his bare hands." I sat on the toilet, with my hand to my forehead. "I've never seen death, before, Quatre."

"I know…" Quatre said quietly.

I looked at my feet and shrugged. "Whatever. What's done is done… at least Heero and I am alive."

We were silent for a moment. Then the sound of yelling was beginning to drift to our ears.

"What the…?" I muttered.

"Come on…" Quatre said quietly.

We came out into the living room to see Wufei yelling at Heero. "What the hell were you thinking, Yuy? Taking this girl out on a little field trip when you're place is here?"

I immediately came to Heero's defense. "Stop it!" I yelled. "It's my fault!"

"Lynn!" Quatre protested.

"I requested him to come with me!" I continued.

"Stay out of this, onna!" Wufei shot at me. He grabbed Heero by his collar. "Tell me, Yuy… what were you really doing running off with this girl? I know it's not to go visit some cartoon creator! Tell me what's going on!"

"Wufei, it's not a lie!" Quatre exclaimed.

"Don't lie to me, Winner! You may have a big family, but I know that she isn't your second cousin! I did my homework on this!" Wufei spat. Everyone in the room froze. He turned back to Heero. "I demand that you tell me what's going on, Yuy! As your superior officer!"

Heero's face was stone cold, but his voice was even colder. "I am not required to tell you anything, Chang. What I do with my time outside of the Preventers is none of your business."

I could see it coming. Wufei's face turned red with fuming anger, and he raised his fist to strike him. "NO!" I shouted, and jumped in front of Heero, closing my eyes. I opened them to see Wufei's fist inches from my face.

"Get out of my way!" Wufei demanded.

"Shut UP!" I shouted. "Stop it! Stop fighting, stop yelling, just STOP it!"

I stood there, breathing heavily, with Wufei's murderous dark eyes stabbing me. "You're right!" I exclaimed. "I'm not related to Quatre! In fact, I'm not from around here at all!"

"What the hell is she talking about?" Wufei spat.

"Exactly what she means." Duo piped up. "Wufei you're not gonna believe this… but she's not even from this world."

"I'm not in the mood for your games, Maxwell!" Wufei hissed.

"He's not lying." Trowa informed.

Wufei didn't know how to respond to this. Of all people, I'm sure he wasn't expecting Trowa to be against him.

Wufei looked back at me. "Who are you?"

I took a deep breath, to try and tell him, but I couldn't say it. Not anymore. I'm tired of it all. I couldn't tell him.

Quatre spoke up for me. "She's from another dimension."

This caused another uneasy silence to follow.

Finally Wufei said, his voice quieter. "What?"

"She's from another dimension." Heero repeated, placing his hand on my shoulder and stepping forward. "She appeared in the car one night when Duo and I were driving home from work. Her name's Lynn and she was born in 1985. Where she comes from, she claims that we're cartoons."

"Don't tell me you believe her Yuy…" Wufei said his voice low.

Heero didn't respond. Wufei shook his head, rubbing at his temples. "I think you've self-destructed one too many times. Don't you realize what you're saying? Any of you? This isn't even possible!"

"Yeah we thought so too…" Duo replied. "But she knows things about us… about all of us that no one else knows, or ever could know. She's recounted incidents from the war, quoted dialogue of our old conversations word for word."

"It's more than that." Heero said. "We checked her through the database and found her information. Wufei, she was born in 1985. And she lived her entire life and she died. We cross-checked her finger prints, her DNA… everything. Everything checked out."

"That's impossible." Wufei said flatly.

"We know." Trowa said. "But somehow… it's the truth."

Wufei stared at me, scrutinizing me with his gaze. "You say that she knows things about us?"

"Crap…" I mumbled, shaking my head and rubbing my temples. Not this again.

"Yeah…" Heero muttered. His grip on my shoulder tightened a little, and I wondered if it was out of stress or out of protection.

Wufei did exactly what I knew he was going to do. He crossed his arms, and raised his chin. "Prove it."

I didn't answer him. I didn't talk. I couldn't. I felt nausea starting to work its way up into my throat, and I could taste the bile on my tongue. I tried to suppress it. Images were flashing through my head right now. The flames. Heero breaking a man's neck. The throbbing pain in my back. Too many things were happening at once, and once again I felt my body beginning to shut down. I felt sick. Dizziness was sweeping over me in waves, but I stayed on my feet. I wasn't going to lose control. Not this time.

"Didn't you hear me?" Wufei snapped the volume of his voice rising. "Prove it!"

Finally I snapped. I gave him exactly what he wanted. And I didn't care who was listening. "I know what you're gundam meant to you!"

"What?" He sounded stunned.

"Nataku. That's what you named your gundam. I know why you fight, Wufei. I know about Meiran."

Wufei's jaw clenched and I could see the muscles in his face twitching. Then he said, in a low growl. "How dare you." His growl escalated into a shout. "How DARE you say that name!"

He grabbed a fistful of my shirt, and pulled me closer to him until our faces were millimeters apart. I tilted my head to the side, refusing to look him in the eye.

"Who are you?" he shouted. "Who are you to say such things?"

"Wufei let her go!" I heard Quatre shout.

"If you're not ready for the truth then don't ask for it!" I shot at him.

"How DARE you!" he repeated, giving me a single shake with the bundle of my shirt that he held in his hand.

"Wufei, knock it off!" Duo said.

"Wufei!" I heard Quatre shout again.

"Look at me!" Wufei demanded, shaking me some more. I winced in pain. Still, I refused to.

"Damn it, Wufei!" Duo shouted. "You're hurting her!"

"Wufei, that's enough." Trowa said coldly.

"I'm not done with her!" Wufei shouted. Quatre stepped up determinedly and tried to pry his hands away from my shirt, but Wufei's extra pump of adrenaline and testosterone kept his hold firm. He shoved Quatre away with a single hand, and the blonde Arab fell on the floor. This was totally and utterly unacceptable.

"You BASTARD!" I shouted, and punched Wufei clean across the jaw. He released my shirt, and stumbled back a couple of steps, looking shocked. He has a jaw of stone. I tried to ignore the pain in my hand that followed down to the wrist. I glared fiery daggers at him. I've never felt so pissed. "He's you're friend! They all are! Where's your honor now, Wufei? What makes it okay for you to treat someone like that!"

"How dare you talk to me about honor, woman!" Wufei retorted. He looked like he was about to lunge after me again, but Trowa and Duo held him back, while Heero stepped forward, and put himself between me and Wufei, keeping me back with his right arm. "What gives you the right to say such things in front of others?"

"You told me to prove it! You should have chosen your time and place more wisely!"

"Yeah, but I didn't believe you!" Wufei shot back.

"Yeah, well considering what's happened, there's no way in HELL that I'm going to be alone with you in a room!"

"It's not right." Wufei finally said, more quietly, although is body still shook with rage. "It's not fair."

I took a few steps back, and Heero turned around to look at me. Trowa and Duo eased their hold on Wufei, and Quatre stood up, dusting off his pants. I turned my back on the group.

"Show Wufei the cartoon." I said quietly.

"What?" they all said in unison.

"Show him. Maybe then he'll understand." My voice was just above a whisper.

"But Lynn…" Quatre protested.

"This is my choice." I snapped at him. I spun on my heel and marched up to Wufei, glaring him straight in the eye. "I know it's not fair. I know the world sucks. I just lost my only chance of being able to go home. So don't talk to me about 'injustice', Wufei. All we can do is make the best of what we've got and move forward… and not use our pasts as an excuse to act like an ass."

"What are you talking about?" Wufei replied.

"If you use your past as an excuse not to move forward, then you're no better than the men that are hunting you, Wufei. Yes, I know it sucks that I know this stuff about you. But there are more important things than that right now." I turned to Quatre. "Show him the video. Please." I looked back into Wufei's onyx eyes, and he stared back. And in them I could see what he saw. A broken human being.

Quatre nodded, and him, Duo and Trowa led Wufei into the entertainment room, where we had the episodes recorded. Heero stayed where he was, staring at his shoes. "Aren't you going with them?" I said quietly.

"I've already seen it all." Heero replied. "I don't want to see it again."

My strength disappeared from my body like water on a hot summer day in Death Valley. I swayed a little on my feet, but I managed to stand straight. Still nothing escapes the great Heero Yuy. "Are you okay?" he asked me.

"I'm fine…" I replied. Then I felt the nausea take me over again, and I dashed away and up the stairs, leaving Heero standing there, dumbfounded.

I burst into my room and went directly into the bathroom, where I retched repeatedly. My body shook, my eyes watered. Once I was sure it was over, I stood up, and went to the sink. I stared into the mirror for the first time since the incident, and noticed how dark my eyes looked. The light in them was gone. My short auburn hair hung limply around my neck, and I could even tell that I was paler than usual. The cut on my cheek was there like a reminder of what I had witnessed. Hopefully the scar will go away. I rinsed my mouth out in the tap water, and then brushed my teeth repeatedly to get that vile taste off of my tongue.

Finally I went into my room with sluggish footsteps, and collapsed onto my bed. Its warmth surrounded me, and I crawled under the covers without even changing, careful not to lie down on my back. Still, no matter how comfortable the bed was, I couldn't sleep. The moon was out tonight, and casting shadows of the tree branches into my room. The wind was also strong and howled darkly, causing the bows to sway and shadows to dance like the burning flames that were trapped in my memory. The clashing of twigs from the wind sounded like the snapping of someone's neck. I didn't sleep that night.

I dragged my drained body out of bed as the first light of dawn peaked through my window. The stars were still out in the sky where sunlight had yet to venture. Birds began to wake up and sing incessantly, while crickets still chirped. I gathered up my blanket and walked silently downstairs, careful to avoid the spots that creaked noisily.

I went into the dining room and opened the sliding door. Crisp cold morning air slapped against my skin, eating through my clothes. I stepped outside and sat down in one of the white patio chairs, with the blanket wrapped around me like a cocoon.

I was only out there for a couple of minutes when I heard someone approaching me from behind. Instinct made me jump in my seat and spin around. However, it was only Heero, and without saying even a hello to him, I turned back to the sunrise. The sun itself was just peaking over the trees, sending a bright crescent streak of white to light up the backyard. He didn't say anything. Instead, he sat in the chair next to me and gazed at the sky. We sat there in silence together, not looking at each other. Not once. The stars slowly disappeared like dreams, and a light mist was starting to cover the ground from the frost on the grass evaporating. A streak of birds flew by in arrowhead formation. The smells changed too, from the chill of evening, to a scent that can only be associated with warmth and nature. Finally after the sun had fully reached over the trees lining Quatre's yard, I spoke.

"I couldn't sleep last night. At all. I haven't slept since that night in the hotel."

"Seeing death is never easy the first time." Heero replied.

I couldn't respond. I wanted to know more about him. Does he remember the first time he saw death? He's been a soldier his entire life.

He spoke again, and I didn't know if he was looking at me or not. I refused to look at him however. "I didn't want to kill him." Heero said plainly. "If there was another way I would have done it. I don't like killing. I thought I was done once Mariemaia was overthrown."

The ice around my heart melted a little. "I know, Heero." I replied softly. "I know. If you didn't do what you had to do, then I wouldn't be here. Neither of us would be."

Silence followed again, and I recalled our first conversation ages ago:

"_What if you can't get back home? What if you're stuck here?"_

"… _then I guess there's nothing I can do about it and you can do what you want with me, whatever you think is right. Not like I'd ever fit in here anyway…"_

I spoke quietly. "So… what are you going to do with me now?"

"What?" Heero replied, sounding confused.

"If I can't go back home… if this is it… then what are you going to do with me?" I looked into his eyes.

It took a moment, but Heero remembered what I was talking about. "I'm not going to hurt you at all, if that's what you're asking. I still think it'd be safer if you stayed in this house, though. The enemy has recognized you as our affiliate."

Just then Trowa stepped out to join us. He nodded to Yuy and me. "Good morning." I smiled at him in response.

"I'm going to make some coffee. Do you guys want some?" he asked.

Heero nodded. "Sure," I said. "Extra milk and sugar, please. The less I can taste the coffee the better."

After a moment, Heero stood up and went inside, following Trowa. I stayed where I was, letting the sunlight seep in through the blanket that I was wrapped in. My eyes felt heavy and they burned for sleep. 'I guess I'll shut them until the coffee's done…' I thought to myself.

I woke up to someone softly shaking me awake. I groaned. Whoever it was pushed me forward in my seat, put one arm behind me, and the other underneath my legs. I felt myself being lifted gently out of my chair. I opened my eyes a fraction to see a familiar pink collar and a purple shoulder. The daylight was brighter, so I closed my eyes again, letting my head rest against Quatre's shoulder as he carried me inside.

"Need any help Q?" I heard Duo ask. His voice sounded far away and muffled.

"No, I'm alright. She's not that heavy." I heard Quatre reply. The sound of his voice reverberated through his chest and into my ear. I listened to his footsteps, and then I felt the difference in steps once he reached the stairs. The smell of his familiar cologne drifted up into my nose.

"Mmm.." I mumbled. "Quatre, you smell good."

"You're awake?" Quatre whispered, still carrying me up the stairs. "Do you want to walk?" I shook my head, and he chuckled softly. He carried me the rest of the way, and I opened my bedroom door for him to ease his struggle.

"What time is it?"

"Time for you to go to sleep." Quatre replied.

"Liar." I said, as he laid me down in my bed. "It's probably the middle of the day."

Quatre proceeded to unravel me from my blanket. "And so what if it is? Your body doesn't seem to care." I smiled at him, and finally opened my eyes all the way. I gazed into his face as he unraveled the last bits of the blanket and shook it out over the bed, covering me with it.

He finally noticed I was staring, and blushed a little bit. "What?" he asked.

My brow furrowed. "You're the only one who hasn't asked me to tell what I know."

"It shouldn't really matter." Quatre replied kindly, as he kneeled down next to my bed. Still, I knew that deep down, it was eating away at him.

I cupped his face in my hand. "If you ever want to know… if you want me to tell you, all you have to do is ask."

He took my hand from his cheek, and rubbed the top of it with his thumb. "I know." He smiled. "Don't worry about that right now. You've had enough to deal with. Just rest for now, and we'll check in on you later."

I gave a small nod, and eased my head to rest fully against the pillows.


	13. A Preventers Interrogation

**Chapter 13: A Preventers interrogation**

I woke up the next day, as the sun cast a morning glow across my floor. I knew my body was still exhausted, but I woke up to hunger pains and I knew I needed to eat something. I got up and changed my clothes into sweatpants and a t-shirt, leaving my dirty clothes that I had worn overnight on the floor. I ran my fingers through my short hair as an afterthought, and then left my room.

I reached the bottom of the stairs, and noticed Duo in the kitchen. "Hey…" I said quietly, as I walked in and opened the fridge.

"Hey," he said jovially. "Hungry?" I turned and nodded to him. He grinned. "Good. 'Cause I've just started making food for myself. I can make some for you if you want…"

"What're you making?" I asked tentatively. Duo? Cooking?

"Shinigami's Ultimate Omelet of Ulcer-Awesomeness." He grinned.

"Dare I try it?" I said with a raised eyebrow. "Ulcers aren't usually one of my more favorite aspects of life."

"It has cheese, bacon, sausage, potatoes, green bell peppers, salsa, and a hint of Tabasco sauce." He explained, his face shining with pride.

The fridge seemed a little slim on choices. I stared depressingly at a jar of pickles, a bottle of mustard, and lots of juice. So I could have… mustard covered pickles? Eww..

I shrugged in defeat. "Sure, I'll try it. Although if it kills me, then I'll be haunting you for the rest of your life."

Ten minutes later I was downing my third glass of water, my eyes watering. "Christ, Duo! Don't you have any taste buds?"

"Nah, I think I burned them all off a long time ago." Duo grinned. "Stop drinking water, it doesn't help."

"Then what do you recommend genius?" I shot at him, glaring.

"Drink something sweet. Like apple juice. It helps neutralize it better." He explained, as he took another huge bite of his Omelet of Death. The sight alone seemed to make my mouth burn hotter.

"I hate you." I muttered. It was meant to be menacing, but unfortunately it sounded more like a whine.

"I know," Duo grinned. "But I warned you…"

"You did not!" I shouted at him, as I poured a huge glass of apple juice for myself.

"It was in the name! Ulcer-awesomeness? Hello?" he replied with a clear 'duh' expression on his face.

"Oh, I'm keeping track of this. Oh, yes. Vengeance will be sweet." I grumbled.

Trowa came into the dining room, and paused in his steps. His eyes traveled from Duo, to the nearly-gone omelet on his plate, to me gulping down my apple juice like I hadn't had a drink in a week. "Ah…" was all he said. "Never trust Duo's cooking."

"Why, thank you. At least I know I can always count on The Great Trowa Barton's words of wisdom…" I teased.

"You're welcome." Trowa replied, a ghost of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

I finished my drink, and on my way out of the dining room, I gave Duo a sharp tug on his braid.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Where are you going?" Trowa asked.

"To go nurse my stomach." I replied.

"We don't have time for that right now." he said simply.

"Huh?"

"We're all going into the Preventers office today." Trowa explained. "Including you. You have to give a statement of what had happened when you were with Heero."

My shoulders must have visibly slumped a few inches lower. 'must I?' I thought to myself. "Then I guess I'll go get dressed…"

"Cheer up!" Duo offered. I sent him one sharp crucifying glare and marched upstairs.

I took this opportunity to go change into more suitable out-of-the-house wear. I threw on a pair of stone-washed jeans and a simple black t-shirt, and slipped on a pair of sneakers. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and my hair. While I was in the middle of scrubbing my mouth, Heero walked into the bathroom dressed in jeans, his famous tank top, and a Preventers jacket. He paused for a moment, as if contemplating what to do, then decided to ignore my presence and brush his teeth as well. I started laughing as I watched us stand there side by side brushing our teeth. It's such a funny picture. Nothing takes the manly look away from a man like him brushing his teeth. Heero on the other hand glared at me like there was no tomorrow. I finally finished, rinsing out my toothbrush, and went into my room. I threw on a black baseball cap, flashed Heero a smile, who was wiping his face, and went back downstairs, my hands in my pockets. I heard Heero's door open and close and his followed descent. Duo and Quatre were already downstairs, waiting for us, all wearing Preventers jackets (and looking very sexy doing so).

Quatre's face brightened at my entrance. "Feeling better?" he asked hopefully.

I smiled. "Yeah… although I think I'm going to have to grow a new stomach."

"You ate Duo's cooking, didn't you?" Quatre asked.

"Unfortunately, yes. A mistake that I have learned from, trust me." I replied. "Where's Trowa?"

"In the loo." Duo replied.

"We should get going." Heero stated. "Trowa will meet us at the car."

I was the first to move, eager to get this whole thing done. Not to mention I was eager to see a Preventers office. I began to walk to the door, and Quatre and the others followed. Then I heard Duo snicker. I stopped in my steps and turned around slowly. "What's so funny?" I demanded.

"Nothin'…" Duo replied, although his face was full of glee. "It's just that Quatre totally checked out your butt."

"I did not!" Quatre exclaimed. I could only stare at the two dumbfounded.

"You're lying." I said bluntly.

"Nope!"

"Duo!" Quatre's face was the reddest red ever to exist on a human complexion.

"Don't be ashamed, Q!" Duo said with maniacal laughter in his eyes.

Quatre covered his eyes with his hand. "Oh Allah…" I heard him mutter.

"Wait a minute…" I started, eyeing Quatre warily. "Is he telling the truth?"

The redness deepened to nearly scarlet on Quatre's ears. "No!" he protested.

"What's going on?" Trowa demanded, as he approached us from behind.

"Quatre just checked out Lynn's butt." Duo announced.

Trowa paused for a moment, letting this register. Then he looked at Quatre, with a very level-headed expression. "Did you?"

"NO!" Quatre shouted. "Trowa! How could you ask that?"

Trowa shrugged. "Curiosity."

"Geez, you two…" Duo exclaimed, shaking his head at me and Quatre. "There's no need to get all embarrassed. Besides, Lynn, what'd you expect? You live with four guys; it's bound to happen once in a while. I'm sure every one of us has done it at least once…"

"I don't know if I should take that as a compliment, or smack you." I growled.

"Oh, c'mon… I know I'm right… you guys will vouch for that, right?" Duo asked, staring down Trowa and Heero.

"Not involved." They said in unison.

I gave Heero a piercing glare. 'Damn straight, not involved… you saw me in my bra, for god's sake!' Now seemed like the perfect time to get the hell out of Dodge. I grabbed Quatre by the wrist. "Let's go." I said gruffly, hauling the poor petrified blonde out the front door.

"Man…" Duo grumbled. "You guys are no fun…"

"Depends on how you define 'fun'." I shot at him.

Quatre decided to drive this time, with Trowa sitting next to him. I got sandwiched between Heero and Duo, much to my chagrin. This sort of thing always happens; I'm always the one who gets the middle seat in the back, it totally sucks. It brings back many an unpleasant memory, such as a one day drive to the Grand Canyon in Arizona with the car full of fussy family in hot south-western weather and no air conditioning. Oh, joy of joys!

Still, now that I think about it, I'd take that to this uncomfortable situation any day. Much to Heero's discomfort, I scooted as close to him as I could in the backseat the entire drive there, pinning him against the car door, in order to distance myself from Duo, lest I strangle him with that unbelievably thick, long braid of his. I swear I could hear Heero gritting his teeth at my closeness.

A great sigh of relief came from everyone once we pulled up to a tall building. Apparently cleaning up that incident with Mariemaia had earned the Preventers a hefty amount of funding from ESUN. Heero was the first to leap out of the car, before Quatre even turned off the engine. I followed soon after.

All eagerness to get this thing over with disappeared in an instant, once I realized the reality of things. First off, I didn't want to have to recap over what had happened. At all. Second off, Wufei was in that building, I just knew it. And if I knew my luck, I was going to be interrogated by him. Why me? I ask of you?

So I stood there, discovering that my feet were rooted to the ground. Everyone else started walking up without me, until they realized their only reason for coming here today was still standing by the car door.

"Dude, what's the hold up?" Duo said.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and looked down at my sneakers, knowing that my face would be covered by my hat. I didn't want to admit that I was scared, but I didn't want to move either. Finally I forced myself to take a step. Then another. "Nothin'…" I mumbled.

"Come on." Trowa said quietly, falling in step next to me. "You'll be fine." It was the first time Trowa really showed me direct kindness, and it warmed my heart a little. So he could be sweet. When he wanted to be. I walked the rest of the way up the steps and into the building, sticking to him like a shadow, while Duo and Heero walked ahead, and Quatre kept a slight distance away, probably because he still felt embarrassed from earlier. I stared at him with suspicion. If he didn't check me out like he so enthusiastically claims, then why is he suddenly so shy?

The inside of the building peeled my eyes away from the blonde, and I stared up at the high ceiling. It was a well-lit building, with pristine fluorescent white lighting, and very stylized. Somehow it didn't seem to even belong in the Gundam Wing Universe. There were tall panels of glass letting the daylight in. The floor was tiled in polished white, brown, and black marble which was set in the design of the Preventers symbol. At the end of the long entrance room was a woman sitting at a computer desk, and two large buff men standing next to a metal detector. Past them were three elevators.

We approached them and I felt the trepidation in my stomach get heavier. I faltered in my steps, slowing down to what could be considered a crawl, if that… but Trowa took hold of my arm just above my elbow and led me to the metal detectors. Each Preventer walked through, showing their I.D. Duo explained that I was being taken in for questioning, which made my skin crawl. It made me sound like some sort of a criminal. Once I was let through, we went into one of the elevators, and waited as we slowly went up, floor by floor.

We finally ended on the 8th floor, and the guys led me out of the elevator. We walked down a wide hall, with pictures of people up on the walls in between the doors for each room. There was a huge picture of Relena hung at the end of the hall, which made me feel a little weird. I couldn't explain why. People were walking past us in the hall, all going about their business. I was so intent on looking at the walls, that I was surprised when I heard Duo exclaim, "Hey, Milliardo! What's up, man?"

My eyes snapped forward to behold the most gorgeous man in existence. I knew my jaw literally must have dropped, and stood there with my mouth open like I'm trying to catch flies. I clamped it shut once his eyes landed on me.

"You must be Lynn." He stated.

"Uh… yeah." I muttered. His eyes were an amazing icy blue and I wanted to pet his hair. I wonder if Duo's hair is this pretty when it's not braided? Hmm….. So many questions.

"It's a pleasure." he said simply. Then he gave a brief nod to the group and went on his way. I was dumbfounded. I stood there, looking like an idiot, watching him walk away.

"Umm… okay, Lynn… time to stop ogling. We gotta get going." Duo finally piped up. "Besides, he's too old for you anyway."

I wanted to strangle him. "Duo, shut up." Then a big grin came across my face. "Besides, who says he's too old? I think I can excuse a minor age gap for a one time exception…"

"Lynn!" Quatre exclaimed. He sounded totally mortified.

"What? He's hot! I'm not going to deny it!" I announced.

"Let's just get going…" Heero grumbled.

I grinned at his back as we started walking again. "Oh, don't worry, Heero… I think you're hot too, if it makes you feel any better."

He faltered in his steps, but refused to look back. Duo laughed at him. "Hey! What about me?" he protested.

"You're hot too. Although you'd probably be hotter if you let your braid down. But maybe that's just me. I have a thing for long hair on guys. It's so hard to come across where I come from…" I replied.

"Let down my braid? My baby? No way, man!" Duo said.

"We're here…" Trowa announced.

We stood outside a door that had no sign on it, and I began to nibble on my fingernails again. This was going to suck. Heero entered first, being closest to the door. Then Duo stepped through, then Trowa and I, and then Quatre.

It was a simple office, thank God. For some reason I had the mental picture of a table and two chairs in a poor lit plain room, with a mirror on one side. Clearly, I've watched way too much TV. There was a great mahogany desk, and behind that desk sat a woman. Her hair fell around her face in layers, and I stared. Lady Une stood up from her seat and greeted the ex-pilots. As she did this, I noticed that Wufei was also in the room. He stood off in the corner, keeping to the shadows. He had his arms crossed, and he leaned against the wall. He looked up from his gaze on the floor, and locked eye contact with me. Crap. I could feel myself wilting like a flower under those eyes. I stared down at my feet and tapped the carpet with my shoe.

Une's voice cut through my thoughts, sharp and crisp. "… and you must be Lynn. Duo's told me a lot about you."

"Duo?" I replied. Then I mumbled, "It didn't have anything to do with my butt, did it?"

"Huh?" Une said, totally confused.

I let out a nervous laugh. "Oh, nothing! Just talking to myself. Sorry. Bad habit. It's nice to meet you, um….?"

"Une. Lady Une." She informed. She sounded very professional. "I'm sure your friend's have told you why you're here today?"

I nodded. "Yeah… like, right before we were out the door…." I shot them an accusing glance.

"Alright, then. Gentleman, I will have to ask you to leave the room until we're done." Une looked at me again as my friends filed out of the room one by one, leaving me to my doom. "I'm sure you've already met Wufei Chang?" I gave a brief nod without looking at him. "Good. He shall be supervising this interview, seeing as we need a witness to state that all of the information you've given is accurate. My apologies, but I had to excuse the others for legal purposes. We can't allow you to be influenced by their presence."

"Understandable." I squeaked. This was not going to be good.

"Very well. Let's begin." Une announced. She motioned for me to take the seat in front of the desk, and I did so. She went around and sat in her own seat, uncapping a pen and pulling out a pad of paper to take notes on.

"What is your full name?"

"Lynn Tinsley." I replied.

"When were you born?"

I had to think on this for a moment. "October 27th, 180." I figured they don't say A.C. in this world… not under normal circumstances… after all, do you ever hear anyone say, 'I was born in 1985 A.D.'? I think not.

Une paused in her writing and looked up at me. I held my breath. "Happy early birthday." I let the air flow out of my lungs.

"What were you doing with Heero in Japan?"

"I was going to meet Hiroshi Murakita. He's the creator of an anime that I like."

"Why?"

"It was my birthday present from Quatre. He was able to schedule me to spend lunch with Murakita."

"Why were you with Heero?"

"He was my escort." I replied. "He seemed to be the best choice out of my friends. Quatre needs to be here, plus he's too famous. Trowa and Duo are still too recognizable to be out in public too often."

"Are you aware of the issues the Preventers are dealing with?"

"Not really. I'm not informed of what goes on when the guys are at work."

Une gave a small nod, and continued, looking at her pad of paper. "Tell me about what had happened."

I hesitated, the words swimming in my head. What was the best way to describe the event without breaking down?

"Well…?" Une said. "I understand this is difficult for you, but don't worry… it's for a good cause."

"How so?" I replied. I hope I can ask questions….

"Your statement will help us determine two things. First off, that Heero is telling the truth. We already received his statement, and we need to get yours to make sure they match up. Second off, we will hopefully be able to determine if this incident was isolated, or if it is linked to any radical organizations that the Preventers are currently trying to suppress."

Well, if she's going to put it that way….

"Okay… um… we got to Tokyo early… it was still dark out. Heero and I stayed in a motel until morning, and then we left to go meet Murakita at his building. We got there early, and I recommended that we go hang out at the park until it was time to meet him. As we were walking away…." My voice caught in my throat suddenly, and my throat felt dry. I stared down at my hands, which were clenched into fists. I looked up as someone put a glass of water on the desk for me. I looked up to see that it was Wufei. I took it from him with a silent thanks, and he went back to his spot in the corner.

I continued. "As we walked away, there was an explosion behind us. We fell to the ground, Heero protecting me. Then he pulled me up and went behind a car for cover. When I looked back, I saw that it was Murakita's building. I want to go in and try to help, but Heero didn't let me. He was going to call the fire department and then call Quatre, but his cell phone broke when we fell. So he had me stay in a phone booth so no one would bother me, and he went to go get his laptop from the car we had rented."

"Why did he leave you behind?" Une asked.

"Because the car was parked in the infrastructure, so there was a chance that it would be too dangerous for me." I replied. I continued forward, talking quickly, wanting to get everything out so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. "While I was in the phone booth, a man came up and knocked on the glass. I wouldn't leave, so he got mad and I thought he was going to walk away. But… he… he broke the glass and tried to grab me. I fought back, but he pulled a gun on me. I got cut on my back in the struggle."

I shifted in my seat, and lifted my shirt to show my bandage. Then I readjusted myself and continued my story. "He demanded to know where he was, and I'm assuming he meant Heero. Then he was pulled off of me, and he dropped his gun in the struggle. I picked it up and saw Heero fighting with him. I… I had his gun. I was going to try to shoot him… to keep him from hurting us… but I couldn't' see. It was raining. I didn't want to accidentally hit Heero. I saw how they were struggling, and I noticed another gun on the floor a few feet away from them, so I ran up and kicked it away out of the guy's reach. He got up to come after me, but Heero tripped him and then he… he broke his neck. After that we left and went back to the hotel."

"What did he look like?" Une questioned.

"The man? He… he had blonde hair. And dark eyes." I replied. "I don't know how tall he was… taller than me. But that's all I know."

"Are there any other wounds that you received from this incident?"

"I got a cut on my face… and a headache from having my hair pulled… but aside from that and the cut on my back, that's all there is. Heero had a cut above his eye and the corner of his mouth was bruised. He hurt his ribs, too."

"Would it be alright with you if we took a few pictures of your wounds for documentation?"

"Yeah… sure. Whatever." I muttered. I felt cold, and I drew my knees up to myself, wrapping my arms around them.

"Alright…" Une stated. She stood up and I looked up at her to see her smiling down at me. "You did very well, Lynn. Everything checks out. Wufei will escort you to get photos taken of your cuts, and then you can go home."

I stood up on shaky legs and nodded my thanks. Wufei straightened up from his leaning position against the wall, and marched to the door. I followed him without comment. We left the room and entered the hall to see all of the guys hanging out there. I could feel them all staring intently at me, as if to try and read me… so I adjusted my hat to fit sideways on my head, and I stuck my tongue out at them as I walked by, following in Wufei's footsteps.

The pictures didn't take that long, so thankfully I was out in a matter of minutes. I followed Wufei back to where my friends were waiting. I had to speak up. I had to break the silence. "Wufei…" I started. He didn't respond, and his posture remained rigid. I couldn't read him at all. "I just want to apologize for what happened at the house. I shouldn't have done what I did."

There was silence for a moment, and finally he spoke. "What's done is done." And that was the end of _that_ conversation.

We came around another corner, and finally I knew where I was again. I saw the guys still hanging out there, talking quietly amongst themselves. Their conversation went silent at mine and Wufei's presence.

"Everything cool?" Duo asked. Wufei gave a brief nod.

"You guys are done here. You can go now."

"Excellent! I'm starving!" Duo announced, as he began to walk back down the hall. Everyone started to follow him.

"Baka, you're always hungry." Heero grumbled.

"True," Duo replied. "But this time I'm STARVING. There's a difference."

"You're omelet of doom didn't satiate you enough?" I commented.

"Are you kidding?" Duo exclaimed, turning around to face me as he continued to walk backwards. "That was like, three or four hours ago!"

"Oh, right…" I said rolling my eyes. "Forgive me for I have sinned. I should have known." Of course now that I think about it, I felt pretty hungry myself. I never really did finish Duo's omelet.

On the way back, Duo insisted on driving, much to everyone else's discomfort. He and Quatre sat up front, while I was once again squeezed in the middle between Heero and Trowa. He also insisted on stopping at a drive thru for some food. During our wonderful trek through the streets, Duo put on the radio. Naturally, everything was in Japanese. Figures. He bobbed his braided head to the music singing to whatever he could guess the lyrics were. Once again I could hear the grinding of Heero's teeth, as Quatre sat nervously in front of him in the passenger's seat, too polite to tell Duo to shut up.

It was actually all pretty funny, until a familiar song came on. And yes, I say familiar. What else would it be but Two-Mix, the J-pop music sensation of Gundam Wing itself? Naturally! I leaped forward in my seat. "Oh my God!"

"Yes?" Duo replied.

"Not you." I said. "This song! I know this song! Holy crap!"

"You do?" Heero was the one who spoke this time.

"Yeah! Totally!" I replied. "This is White Reflection by Two-Mix! By God, I even know the words, and I don't even know what the hell they're saying!" I began to sing along to it, just in time for the chorus. "I feel your love reflection! atsuku yume wo kasanete, ayamachi osorezu ni motomeau seishun!"

Duo joined me and we sang it together. "I feel you're love reflection! mitsume kaesu hitomi ni, egaite harukana… never ending story!"

I began to start dancing in my seat to the music. I couldn't even begin to explain how ecstatic I was that something I knew was playing on the radio.

"How is this possible?" Trowa asked, as he was jogged around in his seat by my antics.

"It makes perfect sense!" I responded. "This is the music that is played with your anime, so naturally it's a part of your world! This is awesome!"

"No… it's not…" Heero said grumpily as he attempted to compress himself against the car door to avoid all contact with me. Him and Trowa stared at me for a minute or two as Duo and I enjoyed ourselves with the music, then the ex-pilot 01 asked, "Is this what you do all day when we're not home?"

"And so what if it is?" I replied. "You have no sense of fun, Heero!"

Heero mumbled something incoherent, and I dismissed it. I still, however, continued to playfully badger him. "Heero, don't you like music? Any kind of music? Don't tell me you sit in silence all the time…"

"Silence is golden…" Heero said through clenched teeth, as Duo turned up the volume even louder on the radio.

AN: Yeah, I know that this chapter was more of a recap of previous events more than anything, but I hope it was still relatively entertaining. The next chapter will be more interesting, I promise!  I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing my chapters! I'm so glad that you guys are enjoying this, and I hope you continue to be enjoyed! Please continue to R&R, you know I loveses it so….


	14. It's my birthday?

1**Chapter 14: It's my birthday?**

A few days went by with nothing exciting happening. The guys started going back to work, and came home for dinner. I'd lost my artistic creativity for a little bit, probably from all the stuff that's happened lately, so I became content with swimming every day. Oh yeah… and I've also started cooking. Scary. Simple little things, like brownies and cookies. I'm guessing so far that I've been a success since a) No one has died yet and b) Duo always polishes off whatever I make. I'm still debating if I should put in something really unpleasant to get him back for the omelet.

I was spending today cleaning the house, listening to my music. For once it was something happy and perky and I was dancing around in circles as I cleaned the kitchen. I was in the middle of singing "La Bamba" by Richie Valenz which was playing in the boom box I brought down from my room, using the end of the mop as a microphone, when turned around to see four ex-gundam pilots staring at me. Oh, the humility...

I knew my face was beet red with embarrassment. "You guys are home early." I stated my frame rigid. "How long were you guys standing there?"

"Long enough." Trowa replied with a slight smirk. I lowered my head in embarrassment, and stomped over to the boom box and turned off my music. I proceeded to mop the floor, ignoring the presence of the men in front of me.

"Hey!" Duo announced. "What the heck do you think you're doin'?" he demanded, as he took the handle of the mop from me.

"Uh… cleaning?" I replied, raising my eyebrow in inquiry.

"Oh, no you don't… not today." Duo announced, taking the mop from my hand, and putting it back in the bucket.

"Not that I'm really one to complain, but why not?"

"Because we've got a surprise for you, Lynn…" Quatre explained.

"Wha…?"

"Hold on a second…" Duo interrupted. I stared at him, thoroughly confused. What now…? "What song were you listening to?"

"Duo…" Quatre started.

"Huh?" I replied, shaking my head. Talk about random... "La Bamba by Richie Valenz… it's an oldie from where I come from."

"It sounded familiar-" Duo replied thoughtfully.

"Duo!" Quatre scolded.

"What?" he protested, flinging his head to look at the blonde, and almost smacking me in the face with his braid in the process.

"Uresai, baka." Heero said. Even I knew that meant 'shut up'.

"Tsk, tsk, Heero…" Duo scolded. "Now what kind of manners are those?"

"Duo?" Quatre pleaded.

"yes?"

"Focus? Please?" Once Duo was silent, Quatre took a breath to start over again. "Well, we all know that your birthday is today, so… we got you a cake…"

Today is my birthday? Just goes to show how much I've been keeping track of things lately... of course that explains Une wishing me a happy early birthday a few days ago.

Trowa pulled out a familiar cake-size box from behind his back.

Quatre continued. "And… well…"

"An identity." Heero finished.

"I was getting there…" Quatre protested.

Heero handed me a folded sheet of paper, and I opened it up. It had a picture of me on it, with my name, age, birth date (accurately displayed in the AC year), fingerprints (probably left over from the identity check they did on me a while back), and a social security number. "It has everything you'll need to start your life here in this world."

"That way you don't have to be cooped up in here anymore." Quatre offered.

Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't have asked for anything better than this. I flung my arms around Quatre and hugged him tightly. "Thank you! Oh, thank you thank you thank you!" I proceeded to hug Duo, and he spun me around in his arms before setting me back down. Then I hugged Heero, who didn't seem to protest, and then Trowa, who put one arm around me to return the gesture.

"And guess what?" Duo asked.

"What now?" I replied.

"This also means you're officially eighteen. And do you know what that means?" he announced. I shook my head. "That you get to drink!"

"What? But I'm eighteen, not twenty-one! I'm not allowed to drink until I turn twenty-one!" I said.

"Oh-ho!" Duo laughed, shaking a finger at me in a 'no-no' gesture. "That may have been the case two hundred years ago, but times have changed, my friend! If you're old enough to fight in a war, then you're damn well old enough to drink!"

"Shweet!" I shouted.

"This can't turn out good..." I heard Trowa tell Heero. I stuck my tongue out at the both of them in response.

"Cake anyone?" Duo asked. Quatre took the cake from Trowa and began to cut slices of it in the kitchen. I peeked over his shoulder as he did so.

"What kind of cake is it?" I asked.

"German Chocolate Mousse..." Quatre replied. I made whimpering noises. It couldn't get any better than this. Quatre laughed at my reaction. "I hope that's a good sound..."

"Oh it is, trust me."

I got the first slice since it was, after all, my birthday. Duo leaped to get the second slice, and even though Heero and Trowa both protested to eating anything with a remote amount of sugar (or flavor for that matter), Quatre gave them slices too.

I was about to take the first bite, but Duo stopped me. I growled at him in response. "We haven't sung the birthday song yet!"

"Oh God..." I replied, nearly dropping my fork.

"I am NOT singing." Heero retorted, striking Duo with the iciest glare imaginable. Naturally, after years of hard training, Duo's immunity protected him. I, on the other hand, felt the temperature in the room drop ten degrees. I made it a note to never tell Heero that his Japanese voice actor sang a few Gundam Wing songs back home...

"You don't have to, Heero..." Quatre replied. "Are you going to sing, Trowa?"

Trowa was silent for a moment or two. Then he replied, "Me...? ...Sing? I can play the flute. However, singing is not one of my stronger aspects."

"Okay, okay, enough chitchat. Let's sing the song so I can eat." Duo demanded, fork poised and ready in his hand.

"You're one to talk." Heero glared. "You talk more than all of us combined."

Duo ignored him and started to sing, and Quatre joined in. I shrank a little in my seat. I don't know why I felt so embarrassed. I guess this just shows how little I am the center of attention normally. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Lyyyyynnn! Happy birthday to you!"

I blushed nervously, unsure of how to respond. There weren't any candles to blow out, yet I didn't want to point it out since everything they've done for me has been so nice and unexpected.

Duo continued once the song was done. "And Many More... on channel four... and Frankenstein on channel nine, and Scooby Doo on channel two..."

"Oh, come on, Duo..." I teased. "These shows are totally outdated even for me. I bet you don't even know what you're talking about!"

"Hey, everyone still knows the story of Frankenstein! Classics don't die, my lady!" he replied as he took his first bite of cake.

"And how about Scooby Doo?" I questioned. "I used to watch it when I was little. I remember at the end of every episode the villain would say, 'and I would have succeeded, too if it weren't for those meddling kids and that dog!' and scooby would go, 'rawg? Rwhere?' And Scooby snacks, man! What about the Scooby snacks?"

Duo just stared at me and shook his head. "You are one straaaange little lady."

"So what do you plan to do today?" Trowa asked, trying desperately to change the topic.

I thought about it for a moment. "I don't know..." I admitted. "I wasn't really prepared for this. I didn't even know today was my birthday." I stared around the house, realizing how sick and tired I was of it. It was time for a change of scenery. "I think I'll get out and get a job. Some place close by where I can take the bus to and from."

"We've got some shops a few miles away..." Quatre offered. "You have to get out of the house neighborhood first, but it's not too far from here."

"Sounds good to me..." I replied.

"What kind of job do you want?" Heero asked.

"I don't know... just something to keep me busy I guess... I think all I can get into right now is retail of some sort."

"They've got a lot of clothing stores around and a flower shop." Trowa informed.

"Flower shop? That sounds nice..." I replied thoughtfully. I put my fork down onto my empty plate. "Thanks for the cake, you guys... it tasted really good."

"So when you do want to go?" Duo asked.

"Are you kidding?" I replied. "Now would be great. I'll have to go change and take a shower though... I feel grimy. Who would be taking me, or do I get to go on my own?"

The guys looked around at each other thoughtfully. "Oh, don't all volunteer at once..." I teased. "You guys don't have to come, it's okay."

Heero stood up from the table. "Trowa and I have to get some work done for Preventers. Sorry."

I shrugged. "You gotta do what you gotta do. But you two owe me a board game later. What about you two?" I looked at Duo and Quatre questioningly, as Heero and Trowa left the table.

"I have to get work done too, but I'm sure I can do it later..." Quatre offered, his face tilted thoughtfully. I make the same face every time I have to decide what anime I want to watch.

"C'mon, Q..." Duo said seriously. "You've been behind on your paper work for a while now, you should use this time to catch up. We both know what your schedule looks like for the next two weeks. You're not going to get another chance."

Quatre gave a small moan of disapproval. "I hate paperwork..." he muttered. "But you're right Duo. I guess I'll owe you a board game later too, Lynn..."

I gave Quatre a wink. "I can let you off for this one...I only punish irate guys that act like grumpy old men. You're not one of them. But if you want to play with us later, you can. That's assuming that I can really convince Heero and Trowa to even consider really playing anything."

Quatre left, making his way to his office, with his shoulders hunched and hands in his pockets.

"So what about you?" I asked, looking back at Duo. "Do you have work too?"

"Duo Maxwell? Have work? Shinigami knows not of what you speak!" Duo replied with a crooked grin. "Let's get out of here before one of the guys tells me I can't go because I have a braid. I'm sick of being here and at work."

"Why don't you wear a hat or a hoody or something and tuck your braid in it?" I suggested, as we both began to walk up the stairs.

"I'm gonna have to..." Duo grumbled.

After I showered, I changed into a lavender sweater and black slacks with boots, and threw on a rain coat. It's been getting rather chilly lately. I put on a black cap to cover my ears from the cold, a pair of black gloves, and a scarf.

I came out to see Duo in a black hoody with a cap on underneath for extra coziness, and black pants. No one pulls off wearing black quite like the God of Death.

Once Duo and I were out the door, the cold hit us like a brick wall. "Dang it..." Duo growled. "I hate the winter. It's way too freezing."

"Please... it's still fall, Duo..." I scolded as we got into the car. Duo put the heater on full blast. "And besides, the winter is great. It's a lot easier to get warm in the winter than it is to get cold in the summer."

"Easy for you to say!" he protested as he backed out of the driveway.

"Duo, you have a three-foot long braid! If all else fails you can just use that as a scarf!" I replied.

"You don't think I have before?" Duo replied, flashing me a glance with his purple eyes. "Do you have any idea how cold it can get sitting inside a gundam in the middle of space?"

I laughed at him. "Can't say that I have. I've never been anywhere near space, thank you very much."

"You should go some time, it's actually really pretty up there." Duo replied. "Although nothing really beats Earth in the long run... Just the way the moon looks from down here..."

"It's like this world was meant for us?" I replied. Duo grinned at me in response. "You make it sound so easy... going into space."

We drove past house after house, yard after yard, tree after tree. Finally the homes gave way to little shops on the street, and Duo found a parking spot at one of the market lots. As we stepped out, he asked, "So where to, birthday girl?"

"How about that flower shop?" I offered.

"Follow me," he piped and began to walk down the sidewalk.

We went from place to place collecting applications, until I got tired of walking. Duo showed me that there was a park right near there, and we hung out there for a little bit as it began to get dark. The street lamps flickered on in the late afternoon haze. We walked through the park, and came out on the other end to see a church in front of us. I stole a quick glance at Duo, and noticed that the light in his eyes had darkened, but he didn't say anything. We began to walk up the sidewalk to slowly make our way back up to the car, when we passed a building I hadn't noticed before. It looked a little run down, and I slowed in my steps.

"What's this place?" I asked.

"That?" Duo replied. "It's an orphanage. There's been a lot of them opening up ever since the war ended. They've been constantly overwhelmed by stray kids who lost relatives. ESUN has been trying to help open up more of them, but it's not happening fast enough. They're having a hard enough time finding people to help out at places like this."

"Why? It'd seem like something really important..."

"'cause they're depressing... they're so understaffed and underpaid, that they have a hard enough time trying to give every kid a bed, clothes, and food. No one wants to be around that all day. Let's go."

I stood in my spot, scrutinizing the building, and then started walking toward it. I checked the street for cars as I started to walk across.

"Hey! What're you doin'?" Duo protested, catching up to me.

"I'm going to volunteer." I replied.

"Are you sure?" Duo asked cautiously as we reached the sidewalk. He took my arm and stopped me, making me look at him. "This isn't a happy place, Lynn. You're not going to like it."

"I know..." I replied. "But if I'm not going to like it, then maybe I can help change it. I've gotta do something, and this is what I want to do."

I entered the building, and I knew Duo was hesitant to follow. Still, I heard his footsteps catch up to me. I walked up to the front counter, and saw a round plump little woman sitting at a computer, with half-moon specs resting on the end of her nose, her gray hair tied up in a tight bun. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "I'd like to volunteer here, if you need the help."

She paused for a moment, and then her face lit up a little bit. "Really?" I nodded. "Have you had any experience with children?"

"I've done some babysitting in the past..." I offered. "I know it's not much, but I can learn quickly."

"I hope that's the case..." she replied. "We're really short on hands right now. Alright, well, fill out this form." She handed me a few sheets of paper on the clipboard.

I sat there in a nearby chair filling out the papers, with Duo slouching next to me, his expression very dark, his chin tucked into his chest. Once I was done, I handed in the paper, and she checked my new I.D. "Alright... I'll need you to sign here and here..." she motioned to the spots on the page. "This gives us your permission to do a background check on you; it's required to work in a place like this." I nodded in understanding, after signing, I handed it back. "Alright, Miss Tinsley... how soon can you start?"

"Tomorrow if you need me to." I replied.

"And you've written down that you're available days nights and weekends?"

I nodded. "I've been picking up applications for a job, and I might still do that. If I do then I'll let you know of course... but I'll probably make this my first priority."

"Alright, then... You'll start tomorrow. How does a nightshift sound for you? Most of the people working here are older like myself, and aren't always able to put in the late hours that are required for a place like this. We have a few of the staff living on the grounds with the children, but it's not enough."

"That's fine, I'm a night person anyway." I replied.

"Great. Then you'll come in tomorrow from five to midnight, okay? You get a forty-five minute break usually used for lunch, although it's your choice when to take it. Just check with your supervisor for that evening. Tomorrow night you'll be working with Jessica Parker, she's really nice."

I nodded, and thanked her. "And what's you're name?" I asked.

"I'm Margaret Wainwright, but you can call me Maggy. We don't use much formality in this place. And be sure to come in casual dress. You're working with kids here, so you'll be getting dirty, I guarantee it."

I nodded, and thanked her again, and left the building with Duo. As we walked down the street, I noticed that Duo was awfully silent.

"You okay?" I asked quietly, trying to look into his eyes, as he kept his head down and trained on the ground.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied looking up and flashing me a forced smile. "It's just hard to see stuff like that. Brings back memories, ya know."

"Sorry..." I replied. "Didn't mean to put you in a painful mood."

"Don't worry about it." he replied. "I really appreciate you doing that. It took a lot of guts, you know. Either that you're you really don't know what you're getting yourself into."

"It's probably the latter." I replied. "But I think it's worth it, don't you?"

"Definitely." Duo replied. "Those kids need all the hope they can get."

When we got home, I told Heero and Trowa, who were sitting at the dining room table looking at papers, that I had volunteered at an orphanage. I didn't quite get the response I was expecting.

"You _what?_" Heero replied, his eyes angry.

"I applied to do volunteer work at an orphanage! What's wrong with that?" I responded, thoroughly confused.

Heero turned his glare to Duo. "You let her apply at an orphanage?"

"It was her choice, man." Duo replied.

"But she doesn't even know how dangerous that is." Trowa reasoned.

"What are you guys so worked up about?" I demanded. "I thought I'd be getting some sort of praise, not a lecture."

"We are glad that you're willing to do something like this," Trowa explained, "But there's been a series of kidnappings from orphanages lately, and so you're putting yourself in potential danger."

"Oh." I replied. Dang it, I forgot about that.

"You can't work there." Heero stated, as if it were that simple. I shook my head.

"Heero, I can't leave." I replied. I don't know what made me want to defy him like this. I guess I'm just tired of being protected.

"What you do mean you can't? You haven't even started. It's not safe." Heero glared.

"I don't want to quit." I replied, correcting my choice of words. "Heero, they're already understaffed, they need people, and I need something to do."

"You're going to put yourself in harm's way just to keep yourself busy?" Heero replied, looking confused.

"It's not just to keep myself busy, it's to help others. And it's to make me feel like I'm doing something remotely important with my life while I'm still stuck here." I shot back.

"It's clear that she's made up her mind." Trowa stated calmly. I stared Heero down with my own determination, and I watched him as he clenched his jaw.

"Fine." he finally said, signaling his surrender. "But be careful. If you see anyone suspicious while you're at work, then tell us. It's our job to keep these things from happening."

"Fine." I replied with a nod. "And it'll be my job to protect the children."

Once all was said and done, Duo gave a low whistle. "Man... you two really go at it, don't you?"

The volunteer work was a lot harder than I had expected. The children disbehaved all the time, and I could tell that a lot of them had social problems due to what's happened to them. I was always trying to get the quiet children involved in activities, which was much easier said than done. Their favorite sport was to hide from me and anyone else who worked there. The co-workers were nice... Jessica Parker was this kind funny woman; and there was also a man with sandy blonde hair and nice eyes that worked there too. I learned that his name is Matthew, and he somehow managed to really get along with the children, which was helpful for the rest of us. The place wasn't exactly in top condition, but it wasn't so bad that I felt that I had to be concerned.

Still, the more I worked there the better I got at handling them and keeping them entertained without breaking something. Before I knew it, Halloween was upon us, and I discovered that we weren't able to take the children out trick-or-treating due to the frequent kidnappings that have been occurring lately.

I was scheduled to work that day; a full nine hour day because of the holiday. Once again I was working until the wee hours of the evening, this time staying until 1 a.m. since they needed the extra help.

Since they couldn't go out to trick-or-treat, this gave me an idea of my own. I somehow managed to convince Trowa and Quatre to take me out and get me a Halloween costume and some candy… and a few other things to entertain the children.

Finally I was walking up the steps to the rickety building dressed in my own black clothes, wearing black angel wings and black makeup on my face. I liked the costume…. Although Trowa pointed out that I might scare the children, which earned him a rightful sock on the arm. In my hand I carried a bag of goodies which I couldn't wait to hand out.

I entered the building to the sound of screaming laughing children as they ran around playing tag and such similar games. I entered the game room where children played board games, colored, or isolated themselves away from others. As soon as I entered the room all eyes were upon me and my bag of goods. I noticed that I wasn't the only one who came in costume… Matthew was working today, and was dressed in a comical clown outfit. The children came running up to me laughing and screaming, but I held the bag above my head. "Not yet!" I scolded. "You all have to behave first. I'll start passing out goodies when it gets dark, okay?"

The rest of the afternoon and evening were spent getting the children to play games and things like that. I had brought some Halloween makeup and painted their faces for them. I also brought paper plates and string and used the giant bucket of crayons that was sitting on the round kiddy table to help the children make masks. They were amazed by my artistic capabilities and I made quick sketches of each child, and then they swapped masks around so each child looked like another.

As night time came, Matthew, Jessica, myself, and a few other staff members put together a treasure hunt in the orphanage, which the kids ended up loving to death. Finally they were all sitting around eating their candy as we all sat in a big circle telling ghost stories for All Hallow's Eve.

The time went by quickly and finally we were able to get the last of the children on their sugar high into bed. It was almost time for me to leave, so I began gathering my things together. I went into the common bathroom and cleaned off my face and took off my wings.

Usually the guys take turns picking me up from the orphanage each night, and this time it was Trowa's turn. I was in the office getting my things together, when Jessica knocked on the door and opened it a crack. "Your friends are here, Lynn, you can go now." She informed.

"Friends?" I questioned. Usually only one guy picked me up at a time.

"Yeah… two of them. The tall one with the long bangs and the shorter one with the messy brown hair. They're both in the lounge entrance."

"Okay, I'll be right out." I replied. As she shut the door I thought to myself. Trowa AND Heero are here? Why? There's no need to have two people pick me up…

I stepped out with my bag in my hand and zipped up my coat all the way. Trowa and Heero were sitting where Duo and I once sat when I came in to sign up. "Ready to go?" Trowa asked as he and Heero stood up. I nodded.

"Why are both of you here?" I asked as I started to walk toward them.

Trowa opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly a child's scream echoed from upstairs. My skin went cold and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, as I dropped my bag and dashed through the door and up the stairs, Trowa and Heero in hot pursuit. I ran up the steps taking two at a time, careful not to trip over my own tired feet. I nearly collided into Matthew and Judith. Judith was one of the staff members that live in the orphanage with the children.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

"I don't know. Bradley just woke up screaming, probably had a nightmare or something. I can't calm him down!" Matthew exclaimed. He noticed the two men behind me. "Look, you two can't be in here, this is for employees only-"

"We're Preventers." Heero informed icily, and walked past him as Trowa followed with a brief nod and a flash of his Preventers badge at Matthew, while Judith stood off to the side, wringing her wrinkled hands.

I was already three steps ahead of them, and I swung open the door into one of the children's rooms where the wailing was still coming from. Bradley was a small frail boy who had a mass of red hair and blue eyes and freckles across his face. I noticed the other children sitting up in their beds which lined the wall, as pale moonlight filled the room through a break in the mass of clouds. A few other children were beginning to cry, scared at Bradley's actions. I turned on the light and a dim yellow filled the room.

"Bradley!" I exclaimed, coming up to the boy closest to the window. "Sh, it's okay…" I sat on his bed and pulled him to me to try and soothe him, but his hysterics hardly faltered. "Matthew!" I called. He came rushing through the doorway, while Heero checked the room for any break-ins, and Trowa was somewhere else, probably checking the rest of the house. "Go and have Judith take care of the other kids in the other rooms; I'm sure their freaking out right now." I turned and looked at the children with me in the room. "It's okay, don't worry you guys… he just had a bad dream."

"But he said he saw something!" Emily exclaimed, a small chubby little girl with dark curls.

"What did he see?" Heero asked her, kneeling next to her.

"I dunno…" she mumbled into her blanket, a blush starting to shine on her cheeks and across her nose. "But he was really scared."

Bradley continued to cry hysterically choking on his own tears. I rocked him back and forth, not sure how to calm him down. Matthew came back into the room a moment later. "Should I get the medicine?" he asked. 'The medicine' was basically a small dosage of sleeping pills used to sedate uncontrollable children. It wasn't harmful to them, but I still didn't like using them. Not to mention using the word 'medicine' made the children think they were sick in some way-whether mentally or physically- and I'm sure that didn't help their self-esteem at all. I shook my head, and continued to rock the child.

I wasn't sure what to do, so I began to sing the first song that popped into my head. "When the night is cold… and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we see." Bradley's tears didn't subside, so I continued to sing. "No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid. Just as long as you stand, stand by me."

His tears slowly began to quiet down, but I kept singing to him. "So darlin', darlin' stand by me, ohh stand by me. Oh stand, stand by me."

I sang to him a little bit more, until his sobs gave way to huffs of breath. Finally, I pulled him away a little bit, and his little hands wiped his eyes. I rubbed small circles on his back, and pretended to take a few deep breaths with him, which made him smile. I was filled with happiness suddenly, to know that I was able to help someone. You know, really help. I felt needed, and it was wonderful. I ruffled Bradley's hair.

"You okay?" I whispered to the little boy, as I felt the presence of Heero behind me and lots of little eyes on my back. He nodded giving a final sniffle. "Wanna tell me what happened?" I could practically feel Heero holding his breath. What if someone had tried to break in?

The boy fell into an embarrassed silence, his eyes peering glossily over my left shoulder. I turned around and looked to see both Heero and Trowa standing there, with Matthew standing in the doorway, eyeing them carefully. Judith was probably in one of the other rooms, still checking up on the other children.

"Bradley, these are my friends." I explained. "Don't worry, they're really nice. So do you want to tell me what happened?"

Bradley shook his head, still staring at the two uncomfortable guys behind me. I sighed heavily to myself and turned to look at the two Preventers. "Can you two go get Bradley a glass of water please? Matthew will show you where to get it." They thankfully got the hint and left the room, Matthew closing the door behind me. "Okay, Bradley. Now tell me why you were scared."

"I wuzzin scared…" the boy mumbled, drawing his knees to himself.

I lowered my head and whispered to him, "did you have a bad dream?" the boy looked away, color rising into his cheeks, making his freckles more prominent. I nodded and kneeled down next his bed. "thought so. You know, I have bad dreams sometimes too." I explained.

"You do?" he whispered, as he fiddled with the edge of his blanket. I nodded.

"Tell you what, Bradley… you tell me what your bad dream was about and I'll tell you one of my bad dreams, okay?"

He finally nodded and explained to me what had happened, while the children in the room listened.

A few minutes later I left the room to see three guys standing right outside, Trowa holding a glass of water.

"Well?" Matthew demanded.

"He's fine; he just had a bad dream." I explained. "It's probably from all of the ghost stories we were telling. Just make sure they keep an eye on him tonight. And make sure the kids don't pick on him."

Matthew nodded. "I'll let Judith know. You should go home now, you look beat. I'll be leaving soon myself."

I nodded, and Heero, Trowa and I, finally left.


	15. Here to stay

**Dreamweaver02:** Okay, okay… so it took me a bit longer to get this one out, which is weird actually because I had a major section of this already typed up ages ago when I had to get it out of my system. Whatever the case, things are definitely progressing, and you know what the really good news is? I've got every chapter planned out, typed up in summary format. So I know exactly what is going to happen and when, and how many chapters this thing will be. So rejoice! This'll definitely help me get through this fanfic, I guarantee I will finish this thing! My goal is to finish this before I transfer, so I have by the end of summer which I think is PLENTY of time, don't you?

I also went through my previous chapters and edited out all of my spelling and grammar mistakes, and touched up the entire beginning of the story in general. I practically rewrote the first chapter (but don't worry, I didn't add anything new and important; I just reworded things, and approached the same points a little differently. So for those of you who have been following along from day one, you're not missing anything. I wouldn't do that to you!) I just wanted to let you guys know in case you still decide you want to try and reread it (but like I said, you don't have to).

I hope everyone is still enjoying this! Please R&R when you're done, I love feedback. I also just discovered that I can respond to the comments I receive (took me forever to figure it out… I'm such an idiot… how long have I been posting here?), so I'm going to start doing that now too. It seems only fair and polite, don't you agree? Anyway, on with the fic!

**Chapter 15: Here to stay**

"It's about time it started to snow…" Quatre commented as we pulled away from the orphanage one night. He turned on his windshield wipers, and I nodded in agreement. Days came and went with nothing more but rain and wind as we entered November. I was glad to finally see some snow. Not to mention I hadn't seen it for years. In LA you have two seasons: Rain and sweltering heat. I leaned back against the expensive leather passenger's seat of Quatre's disgustingly luxurious car.

"Do you think the guys are noticing the weather at home?" I asked, as the snowfall increased.

"I doubt it." Quatre replied.

I grinned evilly. "I have an idea…"

A few minutes later, once I finished plotting with Quatre, we pulled into the driveway of the house. We both noted that a small amount of snow had already begun to pile up on the fence. We each took a good couple of handfuls. Then we dusted the snow off of each other as much as possible so the guys wouldn't notice. We both kept the snowballs in our pockets as we went inside, after making sure they were compacted well enough that they wouldn't melt right away. Duo, Heero and Trowa were all in the living room going over paperwork, and looked up at our arrival.

"Hey guys," Duo greeted.

"Welcome back." Trowa said.

"Hey," Quatre and I said in unison.

"What're we looking at?" Quatre said, coming up beside Trowa. I found a spot between Duo and Heero. I kept my eye on Quatre as the three guys tried to explain the mess on the table. With a small smirk shared between Quatre and me, we struck. I quickly shoved my two handfuls of snow down the back of Duo and Heero's shirts, and Quatre tackled Trowa.

"KUSO!"

"GYYYAAAHHH!"

"QUATRE!"

I bolted away from the two shocked men that I had fitted myself between, laughing hysterically.

"What… what the hell was that!" Duo shouted at me with an angry glare, trying to stick his hand up his shirt to free himself of the cold.

"It's snowing outside!" I informed, as if it were a no big deal.

"Oh, I'll show you snow!" Heero threatened, advancing on me. Duo joined him cracking his knuckles, a huge evil grin on his previously shocked features.

I screamed, dashed away and ran up the stairs, as the two guys chased after me. I could hear Quatre downstairs trying to avoid Trowa's wrath as well.

"You're not getting off _that_ easily!" Duo shouted in hot pursuit, as both he and Heero chased after me, neck to neck.

I knew that running upstairs was a bad idea… there was nowhere I could go. So once I reached the top, I went to the banister, and put one leg over, then another. Duo was already three steps ahead of me, and was running down the stairs to catch me. Heero, however, came right for me. I dropped down until I was holding onto the top floor with my hands, feet dangling. I knew it wasn't a long fall, and I dropped. I landed on the floor and rolled, cushioning the impact. Heero didn't hesitate. The damned Perfect Soldier jumped over the banister after me, landing nimbly on his feet. He lunged for me and I rolled between the open space between his legs, just in time to collide with the God of Death. Needless to say, I knew I was dead. My ribs hurt with laughter, and Duo wrapped his arms around me to prevent my escape.

"What do you say, Heero?" Duo said with laughter in his voice. "The fountain?"

"Affirmative." Heero replied, as he got up and came toward me.

"No!" I shouted. "No no no no no……!" But my pleads fell on deaf ears. "You guys are EVIL! EVIL I say!"

Duo started to carry me towards the glass sliding door outside, which was already open. As I writhed in his grip, I caught a brief glimpse of Trowa and Quatre wrestling in the newly fallen snow. I valiantly kicked and wriggled, but Heero once again came to Duo's aid and held my legs. They proceeded to carry me outside, as I gave one last desperate attempt to hold onto the door frame. I was marched, just like that time at the pool, straight to the water fountain. Through the scuffling of Quatre and Trowa's battle, I heard Quatre gasp out "No!" through bursts of laughter which rang out into the night.

I shrieked with panic in that freezing winter night air, as Duo stepped up onto the stone ring at the base of the fountain, Heero following suit. With my last burst of energy, which I had saved just for this moment, I was able to get my arms free just enough to wrap them around Duo's waist, and I bent my knees to wrap my legs around Heero's right side (legs which he was still holding, mind you), which happened to be the side facing away from the fountain. With all of my strength I swung my body towards the fountain. I did this maneuver in a matter of seconds, so both men didn't have time to react and counterbalance. The three of us fell into the fountain in a tangle of limbs.

The hit of the icy water was so cold that I couldn't breathe. Water entered my lungs and nostrils, burning, and my body ached from how we landed. I forced my burning numb limbs to get myself above water level. My arms found cold frozen stone, and I began to pull myself out, gasping for air, and coughing violently. There was a random hand that began to help pull me out.

I wiped the water out of my vision to see Quatre as my savior. As the water left my ears, I could hear Duo's voice.

"SHHIIIIIIITTTTT! This water is fucking COLD!" he shouted, as he dragged his drenched lanky form out of the fountain with the help of Trowa. Heero was also pulling himself out, his hair matted down to his face, as he coughed the water out of his lungs.

"Yeah!" I wheezed. "That'll teach you to mess with me! I'm stronger than I look, aren't I? Keep in mind this is after a long day of hard work!"

"You're more like crazy," Heero shot back, a gleam in his eyes. "You're lucky none of us really got hurt falling in."

"Hey, you were the ones with the idea to toss me in there." I shot back. "You can't expect me to go without a fight."

"She's nearly as suicidal as you, Heero!" Duo mocked, shivering in the cold.

With our energy spent, we marched back inside, into the warm toastiness of the home that I'd gotten used to. I felt my skin prickling painfully as the feeling began to come back. Duo, Heero and I walked in sluggishly, our clothes emptying buckets of water onto the hardwood dining room floor. I nudged Heero with my elbow as I began to peel off my jacket. "That was fun, wasn't it?"

"Hn…" he growled, as he wiped his dripping bangs out of his face, causing his hair to stick up in funny places.

"Oh man, I am soaked to the bone." Duo whined.

We proceeded to walk into the living room towards the stairs, leaving huge puddle steps in our wake. I heard Quatre give a pitiful whimper. "My poor carpet…"

"I have no sympathy." Trowa stated, I turned to get a good look at him, since I didn't have the chance earlier and I burst out into fits of laughter. His hair was in total chaos. Worse than Heero's, by far. His once perfect unibang looked as if a bomb went off on it. Half of it was limp and falling into his eyes, and the other half was strewn in a sort of half peacock, half Mohawk sort of look. He narrowed his green eyes at me. "Shut up." He said grumpily.

We all marched upstairs to change and dry off. Trowa reached the stairs first, then Duo, then me, then Quatre and Heero. As we marched up the stairs Duo began peeling off his clothes. He pulled off the sweater he was wearing, then the white t-shirt he was wearing under that until he was shirtless. I couldn't help but appreciate the view. It's not every day you see the shirtless Shinigami walking up the stairs in front of you giving you not only a nice back shot, but the BEST butt shot in the WORLD. God, do I love his American ass.

"You just couldn't wait to do that in your room, now could you?" Heero scolded from behind me.

Duo stopped and turned to look at the pilot 01 over his shoulder. "I am _not_ getting sick out of modesty to display my upper half in the presence of a bunch of fellow guys."

"And a girl." Quatre and I added in unison.

"No offense Lynn, but no girl or woman or whatever you wanna be referred to as _jumps_ over a damn banister to escape Death's judgment." Duo stated, and finished the last few steps.

"She does if she's a tomboy…" I replied with a grin.

"I'm in the mood for hot chocolate." Quatre said, randomly changing the subject.

"Mm… that sounds good." I replied wistfully. "Let's all have hot chocolate, it'll warm us up."

I entered my bedroom and immediately shed my pants and shirt. I grabbed a pair of PJ's from my dresser, and entered the bathroom to grab a towel to dry off in first.

Why didn't I think about locking the door? Or staying in my clothes? Because right then, at the most inopportune moment as I was crouching down to get a towel from the cabinet, Heero entered the bathroom for the exact same reason. He stopped short in his tracks, shirtless, with pants unbuttoned, and I dropped my towel.

And for some reason we were frozen there for a second, both like deer in headlights. Neither of us were sure how to react. After all, Heero had already seen me in my bra before. But that was a hugely different circumstance, and didn't include me pantless in that scenario. My first reaction was to let out a gasp and frantically cover myself with the towel.

"Sorry! Um… sorry." Heero said, stumbling on his words, as he shielded his eyes and turned his head away. "Damn it, Lynn, what are you doing walking around in your underwear?"

"Heero, get out!" I demanded, ready to chuck the nearest object at him, which happened to be a bar of soap on the sink.

I went down stairs a few minutes later, dry and wrapped up in a blanket, but feeling very, very frazzled. Heero came down a few minutes later, and we completely avoided one another. I couldn't seem to stop blushing in his presence, which was more aggravating than anything.

"What happened to you?" Duo demanded, picking up on my change in mood right away.

"Not going to talk about it." I said through gritted teeth.

Too bad Duo isn't as dense as fanfics always made him out to be. He picked up on Heero's mood next, and put two and two together. A deep grin spread across his face. "Okay, clearly someone walked in on _someone_." Okay, so maybe he is a bit dense in some parts. He couldn't have possibly have been expecting a positive reaction out of saying that.

"I swear to GOD, Duo. One more word and I'll stuff that braid down your throat." I growled.

"Woah," Duo put up his hands in surrender. "Shutting up now."

"That'll be a miracle." Heero said.

"You know…" Trowa said from the kitchen. "If you didn't say anything Lynn then you wouldn't have confirmed it."

"Shut up." I grumbled.

The next day at work my mind kept digressing back to the night before. Just the idea of all of us sitting around and talking, sharing ideas, and slowly being let into their world made me feel more welcome than I had ever felt before while being here. We covered some unhappy topics, like what had happened in Japan. I was informed that they weren't able to identify the man that Heero had killed, which proves how strong and talented this underground organization is. On top of that, everyone died in the fire that we had narrowly escaped, successfully stopping all future productions of my anime (which was the least of my concerns when I heard this news). Still, somehow we managed to move on and shine past that. I convinced the guys to play card games with me, and I taught them how to play Texas Hold 'Em.

I was actually working a day shift this time, so I would get out early. But that means that I had to wake up early to get here. Needless to say I was feeling the aftereffects of my exhaustion from being up so late the night before. It was two weeks now since Halloween, and the children were still asking me to make masks for them. I had also started to become really good at storytelling. I didn't make up anything original. In fact, I just told them all of the Disney movie stories that I knew. I used to watch them religiously as a child, and I had nearly all of the dialogue memorized for The Little Mermaid and The Lion King.

We also got a new addition to our orphanage group. It was a boy about ten years old, with dark brown hair and brown eyes. His name's Dan, and I learned very quickly that he had quite the mouth on him.

"Your stories suck." He said bluntly when I had just finished retelling The Little Mermaid for the umpteenth time.

"That's okay, you don't have to like them." I smiled. "Everyone has different taste."

"Yeah but you're stories are stupid." The boy crossed his arms over his head, ignoring the glares from the other children. "They're not realistic enough. Where's the death? And what's with this happily every after crap? That's not how life works."

This comment was already striking too close to home in a room full of war orphans. A couple of children were already sniffling, fighting back bad memories with their withheld tears. "That depends, Dan." I explained calmly, although inside I was already feeling my blood boil. "We all choose how to live our lives. There can be happy endings. We just have to make them happen. And death is a natural part of life. It's sad when it happens… but it's just as understandable as being born."

"Are you saying that my parents' death was understandable?" Dan shouted angrily. He leaped up from his seat and briskly walked out of the room, which fell deadly silent afterwards.

"That's not what I meant." I whispered. I got up and gave a reassuring smile to the children in front of me, and walked out of the room, leaving Matthew to take care of them.

"You're awfully old fashioned…" Maggy said to me, as I was walking by her desk to go into the office and take my lunch.

"How so?" I replied, stopping in my tracks.

"Those stories you tell them." Maggy explained, as she nibbled on a pen in thought. "My grandmother use to tell me that her grandmother told her those stories. They go back a long way."

"Yeah… they do." I replied quietly. I entered the office, closed the door, and let my body slump against it. I'm old fashioned… even for an old lady. That's saying something. But I grew up with things like that. It's a part of who I am, I can't change that. Tears began to well up in my eyes, but I fought them back. I don't see any reason to cry. Sometimes I don't even understand myself.

When had I become so comfortable with the gundam pilots? With this world? I still have a home somewhere else. And now that I reflected back on my friends and family, I missed it. It left a throbbing ache in my heart that I couldn't get rid of. I just wanted to go home. I exited the office and approached Maggy.

"Would it be okay if I leave early today?" I asked her quietly. "I'm… going through a hard time right now, and I don't want my mood to affect the children."

"Sure, go ahead. Jessica will be coming in soon anyway, and Matthew can handle those kids just fine."

I nodded my appreciation, and gathered my things. I went back into the play room where the children were, and said goodbye to them and told that I'd be back tomorrow… and I left.

I didn't even think about calling Duo, since it's his turn to pick me up. I just walked out. I let my feet take me wherever, as I felt the hollowness in my heart get bigger and heavier, weighing down on me like a brick wall.

What am I supposed to do? I'm never going home. I'm lost. I'm trapped here, for the rest of my life.

I walked through the park slowly, watching families walk by laughing and playing, watching men sit on benches reading the paper about a world that they knew and understood. My breath came out in little white tufts in the winter air, and I knew I'd be crazy to walk home in this weather. Not to mention it'd be a very long walk, and I wasn't sure if I knew the way. But I didn't want to ask for help. I didn't want to talk to anyone. And I didn't want to stop moving. I let my feet carry me away from the park, away from the shopping plazas. Down the street I kept walking by myself. I turned right, onto a street that I didn't know, letting myself only feel connected to the earth, to the wind… to the moisture in the air. Aspects of reality that are the same no matter where you go.

I never realized how quickly it got dark. Especially when you take residential streets that don't have streetlamps. It wasn't snowing yet, but the clouds were thick and heavy in the night, gleaming brownish orange in the reflected city nightlight. I didn't know what time it was when I finally arrived on my doorstep. The cars were gone, so I knew nobody was home. Good. The last thing I wanted was to be bombarded. I didn't want to have anything to do with anyone. My legs ached and burned from the trek I had chosen to make, and I refused to sit down on the doorstep because I knew I wouldn't be able to get back up.

I entered the house quietly, using the spare key I had, as I kept my eyes to the floor. I close the door quietly behind me, being sure to lock it.

"Where have you been?" A voice demanded.

My eyes shot up to see Wufei sitting on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Do you realize what time it is, onna?" Wufei said, his onyx eyes glaring at me. I shook my head. "Seven thirty! Maxwell told me you got off of work today at five!"

Speaking of which… "Where is everyone?" I asked, looking around.

"Out looking for you!"

My eyes snapped back to him, as my apathetic brain tried to grasp what he said. They were looking for me?

"I got a call saying that you weren't there when Duo arrived to pick you up. They wanted me to stay here in case you came home while they were out looking for you. I had to lend Yuy my car."

"I… I got off early and walked home." I said simply, and made my way into the kitchen. I heard Wufei growling to himself, mumbling choice words. I heard the beeping of a cell phone as numbers were being dialed.

Then I heard his voice. "Yeah, shes home. Shes fine. Yes, Im sure." A pause. I could hear muffled yelling on the other end. A sigh. "She walked home. I dont know. Youll have to talk to her- hello?" I heard him hang up the phone, then pick it up and call someone else. The same basic process of conversation repeated itself.

It must not have been even 5 minutes later, while I was getting a drink to go with my food, when I heard the front door slam open and closed.

"Where is she?" I heard Heero demand. A split-second later, I heard his angry footsteps come into the kitchen.

He grabbed me by my arm and spun me around to face him. "Don't you EVER pull a stunt like that again!" he yelled at me. I knew that I was supposed to feel shocked. But I didn't feel anything. Not a thing. Just… emptiness. All I could notice was how angry Heero looked. His blue eyes glared at me so harshly that I backed away into the corner I was in, between the refrigerator and the counter.

"Do you have any idea how worried you made everyone? Do you realize how dangerous and STUPID that was?" he continued. I looked down at a spot of lint on his shirt. "LOOK at me!" he demanded, shaking me by my arms. I looked up at him again, but looked at the space between his eyes instead. I couldn't make direct eye contact with him. Why?

Just then Duo entered the kitchen, breathing heavily. His violet eyes almost seemed to shine. He looked like he wanted to rush forward and hug me, but Heero wasn't done with me yet. He didn't even seem to acknowledge his presence. Duo looked back and forth between Heero and I.

"What were you thinking, Lynn? What were you thinking?" Heero continued. Duo's eyes fell on me, waiting for my answer.

Right then Quatre and Trowa entered the dining room as well, also breathing heavily, as if they flew in on the wings of panic. My eyes fell across each and every face of the men before me, and something in my heart twisted; my first real flicker of emotion since I left the orphanage. I wasn't planning to say anything, but the words starting falling out of my mouth. It was like rushing water; I couldn't stop it. And as the words came to the surface, so did my feelings.

"I got up today…" I whispered. Silence befell the room. Heero watched me intently, probably waiting to see what kind of excuse I was going to give him. "I got up today," I repeated. "And went to work… like I always did. And I did my job, like I'm supposed to. And I enjoyed it, I really did. And I thought about last night and how much fun we had. How comfortable I felt. But it's not right…" My hands clenched into fists, and I stared at the lint on Heero's shirt.

I paused for a moment, to swallow the lump in my throat. I looked up into Heero's eyes finally. "Everything I do here, I should be doing where _I_ belong. I should be living this type of life in my own world with my family and friends, people I've spent my entire life with. Where there's a culture that I know, a world I'm familiar with. Where there's a history I have."

I paused again, as I tried to steady my voice. I stared at the spot of lint again, because it was the only thing I could focus on with no emotion. "I've been living here with everyone. I've been acting like its some sort of vacation, like Im going to go back."

My vision began to blur and my eyes burned, and I couldn't see the lint anymore. "But I'm not going back. I'm never going to go back to where _I_ belong. Ever. So everything and everyone I've ever loved… even everything I've ever _hated_… is gone. Forever. Who knows what kind of worrying my family and friends are going through, what kind of pain they have. If the pain is anything compared to mine. Or what if they don't remember me? What if I ceased to exist there the minute that I came here?"

Tears finally fell, so quickly and so freely that it was useless to try and wipe them away. Anger surged up in me like I've never felt, and right then and there I wanted to do something violent, anything. I wanted Heero to get away from me, to give me space before I hit him. A strangled cry escaped from my lips and I shoved him away from me. "I've lost everything!" I screamed. "_Everything!_ I've lost my friends, my family, my life! I've lost my existence! I dont know who I am anymore! I can't be like Dorothy and click my heels to get back to Kansas! I can't wake up and have it all be a dream! I've lost EVERYTHING and I'm NEVER EVER going to see it again! Im never going to be able to touch it or feel it again! _EVER!_"

I sank to the floor, my cheeks soaked with my own salty tears that ran down into the corners of my mouth and off the tip of my nose. I covered my face with my hands. "I don't know who I am…" I kept whispering. "I don't know how I'm supposed to live my life." I kept sobbing, I couldn't make it stop. And I wanted it to stop. I wanted to stop hurting, I wanted to stop being so weak. I wanted to stop bothering my friends with my stupid nervous breakdowns.

Someone wrapped their arms around me, and I didn't open my eyes to see who it was. I didn't care who it was. All I cared about was the fact that it was real human contact. It was a living, breathing body.

"You idiot…" came Duo's whispering voice in my ear. "Why didn't you tell us you were hurting this much?"

"Lynn…" Quatre said softly. "You're our friend. You don't have to be anyone other than yourself."

"You're the only ones that I get that luxury with." I whispered, as a few more stray tears fell onto Duo's shoulder. I buried my face into his shirt, partially to hide my shame.

"You should feel fortunate." Trowa said quietly, finally speaking. I looked up at him in disbelief. "At least you're able to be yourself with us. We're Gundam Pilots, Lynn. Even though we don't have our Gundams anymore, that's what we'll always be. There will always be only five of us. We're also separated from the world. And we don't have origins. We're not that different."

"He's right, you know…" Duo said, pulling me away at arms length so he could look at me. He gave me a warm smile to try to reassure me.

I looked away, and brought my knees up to my chest. "You're all so much stronger than I am. I hate being so weak. So emotional. So… human."

Duo laid his hand on my arm, and looked me in the eye. "There's nothing wrong with being human." he said seriously.

I didn't respond. I stared at Heero's shoes that were in front of me, then let my eyes follow up his body. He was the only one who wasn't saying anything, and I wondered why. My eyes met his face. There was something in them that I couldn't define. Maybe it was pain. Or shame. I wasn't sure. He looked away quickly, and turned and left the kitchen. I sat there in silence, listening to his steps go steadily up the stairs.

I forced my legs to stand, and they shook beneath me. I grabbed the counter for support. Duo stood up with me, ready to help if I needed it. I noticed Wufei was standing behind Trowa and Quatre, and I wonder how long he was there. Judging by the solemn expression on his face, he was there for all of it. We made eye contact, and I looked away.

"I'm going to my room." I stated quietly.

"What about your food?" Wufei commented.

I glanced at it, and my stomach churned uncomfortably. "I'm not hungry anymore. One of you guys can have it."

"You should eat." Wufei informed, and I stared at him to try and determine if he was actually concerned, or just being polite. I couldn't tell.

"I'll eat later. Thanks for the support everyone. I'm sorry I'm such a pain."

I made my way out of the kitchen and dining room slowly, trying not to visibly wince at the pain in my legs. I refused all offers of assistance, determined to make it up those damn stairs on my own two feet. It was a slow and painful process, but they respected my wishes and left me alone.

Once I reached the top of the stairs, I didn't go to my room right away. Instead I went to Heero's door and gave it a light knock.

There was silence for a moment, then Heero's muffled voice came through. "What?"

"It's me." I replied.

There was a long pause, and finally he opened the door a little bit, peering at me.

I glanced at my shoes for a moment, and then looked up. "I… just wanted to apologize for pushing you earlier."

Heero's stance eased a little bit, and he opened the door the rest of the way. He was silent and then stepped away from the door, which I took as an invitation to enter his sanctuary. I stepped inside, and quietly closed the door behind me.

He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. "You shouldn't have to apologize."

"I should." I corrected. "I shouldn't have reacted that way. My problem isn't your fault."

"I shouldn't have yelled at you." He stated.

"Actually, I'm glad you did." I replied with a small smile. He looked up at me, and I smiled a little bit more. "It showed me that you care."

There were a few minutes of silence. Heero didn't know how to respond to that. Finally he changed the subject a little. "How did you walk home? We all drove around the area looking for you. We know you didn't take the normal route."

I sat down on the bed next to him since my legs couldn't handle my weight anymore. "Actually…" I laughed. "I got lost. I walked through the residential streets, a few alleyways. I wanted to avoid people. And I didn't want to ask anyone for help. I originally was walking just to walk… but then I decided to try and walk home."

"Everyone was scared when you weren't at work. Duo more than anyone because he was supposed to pick you up. He felt responsible." Heero explained.

"I should apologize to him later." I whispered, as I kept my eyes trained on the carpet. I flexed my legs, bending and stretching them repeatedly, preparing myself to put my weight on them once again. "I'm going to go rest my body. My legs are killing me. Thanks, Heero."

I entered my room through the bathroom, and collapsed onto my bed. I took the book that I borrowed from Quatre off the nightstand, and began to read. But I couldn't take my mind off of what had happened. They're my friends. My best friends, now. Trowa is right; I am fortunate to have them to fall back on. And since I'm here now, and there's nothing I can do about it, I'm going to have to learn to be okay with that.


	16. we're not safe anymore

AN: Yay! Here's the next chapter! I'M SO HAPPY! I had to plow through a little bit of writer's block for some reason… I just couldn't portray what I wanted… but here it is! Finally! Yay! And it only took me two weeks to update this time! Thank you for all of the reviews people! You know I love you guys!

**Chapter 16: We're not safe anymore…**

We never talked again about my outburst, which was perfectly suitable for me. Only now, this time, the guys always came a little bit earlier than my shift was supposed to end. Not that I can blame them. Duo was always the one that came in the earliest, considering I nearly gave him a heart attack last time. He'd hang out with me for the last fifteen to twenty minutes as I took care of the kids with Matthew. The girls loved him. They flocked around him, trying to touch his braid, and flirting like five year olds flirt. The idea of the orphanage itself and what it meant haunted his eyes the first few times. I could tell he must have really been concerned about my well-being to put himself in that sort of a position. But he adapted, which I thought was great for him. He needs that sort of a healing process.

All of the guys were trying to interact with me a bit more. It felt nice, but it also made me feel guilty at the same time. I kept getting the feeling that they were doing this more out of obligation than anything else.

Matthew didn't like the idea of having unauthorized people interacting with the children, but he never confronted my friends. Instead he kept his distance, but his eyes sharp on the back of whoever was keeping me company in the last few minutes of my shift. Maggy, however, thought it was a great idea having my friends come over because they were Preventers and thought it would be a good influence on the children.

I was working the late night shift again with Matthew, and helped put the children to bed. Dan was giving us quite a problem, as usual.

"I don't want to go to bed." He said stoutly. "I'm not tired."

"Well, it's nine o' clock, Dan." I explained. "The other kids are going to sleep. You can't stay up later than them, it's not fair. Besides, you'd probably wake them up if you tried to go to bed later."

Dan said the predictable comment. "You're not my mother."

"You're right, I'm not." I replied coolly. "But I am someone who's here to take care of you, and part of taking care of you is making sure you get some sleep. Now get to bed."

"No."

"Dan…" I rubbed at my temples. I felt Matthew's hand on my shoulder.

"Let me try." He asked quietly. I shrugged in surrender, and went to go check on the children in the other rooms. Once I was done a few minutes later, Matthew came out into the hallway. "All taken care of."

"Sometimes you just have that magic touch." I commented, shaking my head at him.

It was after we put them to bed, that time really slowed down. Minutes went by, which turned into an hour. Then two hours. Then two and a half. I sat downstairs in the game room, near the staircase and hallway, in case I was needed for anything. Meanwhile, Matthew was helping Judith keep an eye on the children upstairs. I was curled on one of the reclining chairs, reading the book that I was borrowing from Quatre. I was thoroughly engrossed in it, and I had only a few chapters left to go.

I heard the creak of a floor board, and I lowered my book with a frown. Matthew appeared in the doorway, hands in his pockets. "They're all asleep…" he explained quietly.

"Finally…" I teased. I returned back to my book.

I didn't notice Matthew had walked behind me until it was too late. His hand clamped a rag over my mouth and nose, and an unusual smell filled my nose. The dampness of the rag dripped into my mouth and I gagged reflexively, struggling against Matthew's hand. He was stronger than I was. He pinned me down, until I thought I would suffocate to death. I began to feel dizzy, and I tried to fight it. I couldn't. My vision blurred. My fingers tingled and felt numbed. Vision blurred into black.

I woke up to a pounding headache, gasping at the pain. I clutched my head and rolled off of the chair that I was left on. Fragments of memory began to drift back into my mind. Matthew. Matthew did this. Why? He was one of them. I couldn't believe it. I worked beside him day in and day out and never knew. How could I be so stupid?

My thoughts were interrupted by Maggy who came bustling up to my side. "Are you alright?" she whispered, panic laced through her voice, like the fear that was laced through my body. I gave a brief nod. "I called the Preventers." She explained. "They should be here soon."

I opened my mouth a few times to get my tongue to work. My throat felt dry. "What happened? Are you okay?"

Maggy gave a sluggish nod. "He drugged both of us, Lynn. I woke up first. Just now. I just put the call through."

Suddenly I snapped my head up to look at the floor above me. "Oh God… the children!"

I bolted up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. I burst into the first room to the left that had Dan in it, and noticed that all but two beds were empty. Two out of eight. Six. He took six children. Six children were kidnapped, while I was just downstairs. Tears worked their way to the surface, building up at the corners of my eyes. I rushed to the two children left in their beds and tried to shake them awake, but they weren't responding. Oh God. Oh God, no. I checked for a pulse. They were still alive. "Nick! Sammy!" I tried to call their names, to wake them up. They didn't move. "Nicholas! Samantha! Wake up!" They were completely unconscious.

"Maggy!" I shouted. "Gather up the other children! We're taking them down into the game room! We need to stay together as a group where it'll be well-lit!"

"Alright!" Maggie replied.

"I need you to come help me carry Samantha! They're unconscious, I think he drugged them!" I immediately took up the sleeping Nicholas in my arms.

We gathered together the children as quickly as we could; making sure everyone not taken was accounted for. We did a head count multiple times. I found a baseball bat that one of the children had kept by their beds, and held it in front of me as my only form of defense while Nicholas was slumped against my body, his head resting on my shoulder, as I tried to support his weight with my hip. Slowly I began to lead the children downstairs, with Maggy following the rear. It was difficult. My headache was still pounding in my ears, and my body was sore, especially my back. I don't know how long I was lying in that reclining chair unconscious, but whatever the case, my back was now killing me. A brief needle of fear laced through my body as we made our way down the stairs. What if Matthew…? While I was asleep…? I shook my head, and hoisted the slipping Nicholas up higher on my hip. I knew I wasn't raped. My body didn't hurt that way. I'd be able to tell. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as we reached the bottom of the stairs. It took all of my willpower not to topple over.

Once everyone was gathered into the game room, I turned to Maggy. "Where's Judith?"

Maggy visibly paled, and went running upstairs to find her. "Maggy!" I called. I didn't want her going up on her own, but I'll be damned if I leave the children by themselves.

I waited for a moment, and then Maggy's voice called down, "I've found her! She's unconscious! Lynn, we need to get the paramedics!"

I could already hear the wailing of sirens off in the distance, and I stayed with the children, keeping them all gathered together, as they clung to me in a large cluster. All we could do was wait. I tried to talk to them. "Listen, you guys… you remember my friends that come and visit? They're going to be here really soon, okay? And they're going to take care of everyone. So don't be afraid. I need you to be strong for me, okay?" A few children nodded, although many of them still cried softly.

Two minutes later (although it felt like hours), I heard the screech of tires out front as they skidded to a stop. The children started to cry louder and harder, afraid of whom it might be, despite my attempt to explain things to them. The wailing of the siren was right on the other side of the wall, and I waited, clenching the bat in my hands as the sound died down. I could hear the scuffling of feet. My fingers squeezed tighter around the bat until my knuckles were white. I don't know why. I knew it was the Preventers. I had no need to be prepared to fight. But all I could think of was protecting everyone around me, and to not take any chances.

The door burst open, and Duo and Heero were the first two men to enter the home. Heero kept his gun out and trained, as he scanned the bottom floor quickly, immediately going down the hallway to the back door which opened up to an alleyway. Trowa and Quatre came in next, and went upstairs. More people continued to file in. Zechs, Sally, Wufei… they all came rushing in. Sally was called upstairs immediately once Trowa and Quatre found Judith. Zechs followed Heero to check the alleyway, and Wufei and Duo came running into the game room, where we all sat and crouched, huddled together. Duo's eyes scanned the faces of everyone in the room, and finally his eyes fell on me. I dropped the bat that was in my hands and I leaped up and threw my arms around his neck, sobs already lodged in my throat. "Duo!"

"Lynn! Are you alright? Is anyone hurt?" Duo demanded, as he released me from the embrace and his eyes immediately began to rescan the scared small faces in the room.

"Judith, Samantha, and Nicholas are all unconscious. He took them, Duo!" I cried angrily. "He took them!" Tears began to trickle down my cheeks.

"Who? Who took them?" Wufei demanded, coming up to me. I watched as Quatre entered the room, and immediately began to try and pacify the children.

"Matthew! Matthew did it! He was working for them all along, and I never realized it! And now they're gone!" I cried. "Dan, Bradley, Emily…"

Wufei immediately pulled me out of the room, to get me and my cries out of earshot of the children that were on the verge of hysterics. "How many, Lynn? How many did he take?"

"Six!" I shouted. "And I didn't even know! I just sat there reading my damn book! I sat there… while he made them all unconscious upstairs…"

"It's not your fault." Came Heero's voice from behind me.

"Like hell it isn't!" I shot back. I was seeing red now. I hated myself. I hated what had happened. I hated everything. And right now, it was a feeling that no one was going to talk me out of. "It's my job to protect them and I failed!"

Zechs came up behind me, and put a hand on my shoulder. "You need to calm down. You did everything you could."

"Yeah, well it wasn't good enough." I spat. I yanked my shoulder away, and went back into the game room, where I looked over everyone that was in there.

I turned and watched the stairway as two men carried Judith down on a stretcher, with Sally and Trowa following close behind. Sally followed the men all the way to the ambulance that was parked outside, and Trowa approached Zechs who was within earshot of me.

"We found an empty bottle of chloroform in the bathroom up there." Trowa explained. "He made sure they were unconscious before he started taking them."

I watched as more men came in with stretchers to take Sammy and Nick away. I rushed forward to try and help them, but I was brushed off, and they proceeded to do their job. I stood there helplessly and I fell to my knees, in the middle of the room, amongst all of the chaos. Everyone ran around, checking for fingerprints, an effort that I knew would be just as effective as looking for a needle in a haystack. This was a children's' playroom. They were going to be here all night.

Sally came up to me. "You were put under with the chloroform, right?" I nodded. "Okay, Lynn… come on. We're taking you back to the hospital with the others."

"No." I replied. "I need to be here with the children. I'm the only person they trust now."

"Duo and Quatre can take care of it. You and Margaret need to come with me. You two could have been poisoned by the amount of chloroform he used." Sally explained.

I thought about this for a moment. Then I nodded in consent. "Fine. Just so long as I get to sit with Samantha and Nicholas. They'll need someone familiar with them when they wake up."

Sally nodded her agreement, and escorted me to one of the ambulances that were sitting outside the building.

The rest of the evening seemed to pass like a dream. They did medical checks on me in the ambulance while I sat over the two sleeping children. They did further analysis at the hospital, then issued me a clean bill of health. Sammy and Nick were still unconscious, and their room was put under surveillance. Judith passed away on the way to the hospital. Maggy was being hospitalized for the night, but she'd be released the next day.

I was told that Maggie and I woke up first because Matthew had used the least amount of chloroform on us, since he ran out of what was left in the bottle he was using. Judith was drugged first, so she got the worst. Her body was too old and frail to be able to handle the fumes. This Preventers case reached a whole new level. It used to be a kidnapping case. Now it was a murder case as well.

Heero interviewed me and took my statement, and then I sat… waiting in the lounge at the Preventers office. Everything about me was silent on the outside. But inside my head I was screaming. I stared at the walls that seemed too close to me, and I drew my knees up to my chest. Quatre came up to me, and sat down in the seat beside me.

"How are you doing?" he asked quietly.

I didn't respond right away. I stared at my shoes, and fought back the tears. I steadied my breathing and replied, "I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me Lynn…" he said softly. He took my chin with his fingers and had me look at him. I pulled my face away and looked down the hall in the opposite direction, at the people that were running about.

"I want to go home." I whispered. "I can't stay in this building anymore."

Quatre nodded his consent. "Let's go then. I'll take you home."

Quatre checked out with Lady Une, and also informed Zechs of his departure, who was in charge of investigating the case. The other guys would stay at headquarters, to continue the investigation.

The drive home was completely silent.

Once we got home, I immediately went upstairs. Quatre followed, but didn't speak at all. I know the kind of sweetheart Quatre is, and I know he wanted to offer words of comfort… but he didn't. He held back this time, and I was glad. I didn't want to talk about what had happened. I didn't want to hear another person say it wasn't my fault.

Once we reached the top of the stairs, I said goodnight to Quatre, signaling the end of my evening. He gave a small nod and a soft smile, and replied, "Goodnight, Lynn."

I entered my room, and leaned against the closed door. I took a deep breath, held it for three seconds, and let it out slowly. I forced myself to clear my head for right now. I changed out of the clothes I had been wearing, and slipped on a pair of red flannel PJs to try and combat the winter cold. Afterwards, I entered the bathroom and dashed my face with warm water, ignoring the mirror in front of me.

I was finally sitting on my bed brushing my hair slowly, when I heard what sounded like a thud inside the house. It came from the direction of Quatre's room, and I paused for a moment. I heard another thud, and realized it was the sound of a dresser drawer opening and closing. I sighed to myself and forced myself to calm down. There was nothing to worry about. I continued brushing my hair.

I stared outside the window from my position on the bed, and watched as the snow outside began to kick up. It'd been a long time since I'd seen a blizzard, and I watched entranced as the swirls of snow danced outside my window, glowing in the light that my window cast onto it.

With a new book in hand, I leaned against my soft pillows to relax and help take my mind off of things. The book Quatre had given was still unfinished, but I couldn't bring myself to read it. Not tonight.

I didn't know how long I had been reading. But imagine my disappointment when the lights flickered and went out. I glared at the storm outside. Great. Just what I need. I wasn't ready to go to sleep yet.

Then I heard another thump. It was a different sound this time and I grinned to myself. I'd bet a million bucks that Quatre just hurt himself on some protruding piece of elegant furniture in his room. I sighed and set the book aside, preparing myself for the company of another human being, since I knew I wasn't going to sleep yet. I exited my room and crept quietly down the hall to Quatre's bedroom door.

I noticed it was open a crack, and I frowned. Quatre always had his door closed. "Quatre?" I whispered. A cold chill went through my body, and I pushed the door open with my hand. "Is everything okay?"

I froze where I stood as what seemed like two large shadows spun to face me.

"Who the hell are you?" One deep voice demanded. I stood rooted to the ground, as my eyes tried to scan the room for Quatre. I finally spotted him, down on the ground, trying to push himself up.

"Lynn!" he exclaimed, panic laced through his voice. "Get out of here! Run!"

"Shut up!" said another voice, as the other shadowed man kicked him in the gut. I heard the sickening thud of boot against flesh and ribs and the air rush out of Quatre's lungs. The wounded ex-pilot doubled over on the floor, clutching his ribs in pain.

"Get in here!" the man closest to me demanded. He grabbed me by my arms and roughly pulled me into the room, closing the door behind me. Immediately there was a flashlight in my face, and I squinted my eyes against the invasion.

"Who are you?" I demanded, shielding my eyes. If only I could see his face! "What do you _want_ with us?"

"Shut up." The man holding my arm demanded. "You live here, don't you? You live with these men? Tell me! You must be awfully important to them to be living here…"

I heard Quatre coughing on the ground on three feet away from me. "Leave her alone!" he choked. I watched as his shadowed form tried to get up from the floor, but the other man beat him down.

"Stop it!" I shouted, tears falling onto my cheeks. "Leave him alone! You're hurting him!"

I yanked my arm free of the man who was holding me, and I tried to rush to Quatre's aid, ready to try and pummel the man who was beating him. My efforts were thwarted by the man who was holding me. His large burly hand clamped around my upper arm, closing around it entirely, and he yanked me back to him consequently throwing me on the ground, where he straddled my waist. I felt the cold heavy steel of a gun barrel pressed against my cheek and I stopped struggling. His gloved left hand was still holding the flashlight, keeping it trained on my face. More fear and panic than I thought possible coursed through my body right then. He was so much stronger than me. He could do whatever he wanted, and no matter how hard I would fight, I knew he would win.

The lights flickered on in the house, and everyone was momentarily blinded. I heard the door burst open, and my eyes adjusted just in time to see Duo land a perfect right hook against the face of the man pinning me down, his violet eyes burning with rage. Heero tackled down the man who was abusing Quatre. It was an amazing sight to see lean Heero literally toss a man nearly twice his size across the room. Trowa came to Quatre's aid, as Heero advanced on the man crumpled and trying to push himself up on the other side of the room. Duo grabbed his victim by the collar of his all-white camouflage outfit, and gave him another good solid punch across his jaw, causing the man's head to snap to the side. His body went slack, and Duo straightened up, fists clenched, teeth bared. His chest heaved with great gasps of breath, and I stared at him, completely stunned. He turned and saw me staring at him, and his eyes flashed for a moment.

He helped me up to my feet. "You okay?" he demanded, as he cupped my face in his hands then moved his hands to grip my shoulders, as he looked me over. I nodded numbly, and my entire body shook under his touch.

Just then Wufei came stumbling into the doorway, huffing and wheezing like he had just done the triathlon. "Is everything okay in here?" He demanded.

"Where'd you come from?" I asked.

"I was the one who turned on the lights, onna." He replied. Realization dawned on me. I had thought that the storm had killed our power… which was just what those men had wanted us to think.

"Quatre's hurt…" Trowa said his voice laced with concern. It was the first emotion that I had heard him verbally express. I stumbled past Duo and fell at my knees next to Quatre who was on his knees now, sitting back on his heels, gripping his abdomen. There was a cut above his left eye, and his cheek was discolored and starting to swell. It was an appalling contrast to the paleness of his skin.

"Oh Quatre…" I whispered.

"It's okay…" he replied, and let out a hoarse cough. "I'll be fine. Just… a little sore right now. How about you?"

I shook my head at him. "You idiot… I'm fine. Why are you worrying about me right now when you're in the condition your in? You need to think of yourself first right now." I lightly put my hand on the back of his neck with my fingers in his hair, and lightly put my forehead against his as I closed my eyes. "I'm just glad you're okay…"

Immediately Wufei began to give orders to try and sort out the chaos. "Duo, Trowa… take Quatre and Lynn out of this room while Heero and I take care of this mess." He motioned with his head to the two unconscious men slumped on the floor of Quatre's bedroom.

No one protested. Duo helped me up off the ground, and Trowa and I helped Quatre to stand, slinging each of his arms over our shoulders. We slowly made our way out of the bedroom.

"Let's go into my room." I said. "I don't want Quatre to try going down those stairs just yet. We'll lay him on my bed."

Duo opened the door for us so we could enter, and we slowly lay Quatre down on my twin bed. He wasn't exactly the tallest of the retired pilots, but his feet still stuck off the end of the bed.

Duo went into the bathroom to get the first aid kit, and Trowa took it from him, and started to dress Quatre's wounds. Meanwhile, Duo and I stood off to the side, leaning against the wall by the door. I wanted to go sit at the window, but I knew it wouldn't be safe. Time ticked by slowly, and once Trowa was done, he stayed by Quatre's side and talked to him quietly. Duo and I left the room to give the two friends their privacy, and we hung out in the hallway. We stood in silence. I listened intently to the sound of a clock ticking somewhere inside the house, and the muffled voices of Heero and Wufei in Quatre's room. The wind howled outside, shaking the glass-sliding door in the dining room, sending the occasional soft bang up to where Duo and I stood. Duo started talking to me in a hushed whisper.

"When I first came in… and I saw him over you like that…" he paused, stumbling on his words. I turned and looked at him carefully. He kept his eyes trained on the banister that we were now leaning on. He continued. "I was afraid he was going to hurt you. I was afraid… that he already did hurt you."

I knew what he meant by hurt. It was the same sort of hurt that I was imagining happening to me when the man had first pinned me down. It was being raped. Or sexually harassed in some other way shape or form. Most of all, it was the feeling of helplessness. Of fear: the most primitive of emotions.

"I was afraid too…" I admitted in a soft whisper, as I looked at my feet, wiggling my toes into the soft carpet. I felt Duo's arms go around me, and he gripped me in a strong embrace. It was warm, and I let myself relax into it, while my stomach started to do little flips.

"I don't know what I would have done if I didn't get there in time. I never would have been able to forgive myself…" I could feel the warm little gusts of breath on my ear as he spoke, and I hid my face from him so that he wouldn't see the blush coming onto my cheeks.

"But you did get there in time. You saved me Duo, everything's fine now." I replied, trying to sound reassuring.

"I'm just glad you're okay." He kissed my hair softly, and I buried my face into his shoulder.

Just then, Wufei and Heero came out, with the two men in front of them, conscious now, handcuffed and at gunpoint.

"Let's get out of here." Heero stated. "We're going to headquarters right away."

"What about Quatre?" I asked. "He's in no condition-"

Wufei spoke. "The ambulance won't get here fast enough. We need to get out of this house right now before anyone else shows up."


	17. Now it's my turn to protect them

An: WOO HOO! I'M TURNING 21 TOMORROW! YAAAAYYY! In celebration of this event, here's a new chapter! Well… actually not really in celebration, it's just that the timing just happens to be just right. This chapter isn't as long as my other ones, so it's more like a part 2 of the last chapter… but I'm still making it it's own chapter cuz I say so. Don't worry though; it's not TOO short… ;) I wouldn't be that evil. Besides, it's shortness explains why it's being updated so soon! Right? Yeah! Okay… so… read, enjoy (hopefully) and R&R! I LOVE YOU GUYS! (Tear) thank you everyone for staying with me for this long!

Chapter 17: It's my turn to protect them…

We barely had enough time to grab whatever belongings were most important to us and get the hell out of Dodge. I was the first one to get the chance to gather my things. Without even changing, I threw on a pair of sneakers with my PJs and grabbed my backpack, which held the only items still linking me to my old world. I waited impatiently, as each man was able to go into his room and gather what he needed, while the rest of us kept an eye on our prisoners. I kept my distance as best I could, practically hiding behind whoever happened to be farthest away from two men at any given moment. Even though they were handcuffed and forced to sit on the floor, they still looked large and intimidating. Now that they were in our custody, and in the light of the house, I could see their faces. They had been wearing masks before, but those masks were removed. The larger man, the one who had pinned me down, had brown hair, which was graying on the sides, and a strong square jaw to match his buff form. He was probably in his mid-forties, but definitely still strong. His comrade in arms was a much younger man, probably half his age, with dark skin, black hair, and green eyes. He was actually good-looking… I definitely would have given him a second glance if I passed him on the street… but I couldn't get the image of him beating Quatre out of my head, and now saw him as a psycho. The quiet kind, that'll take you by surprise when you let your guard down.

Heero had grabbed his laptop. Trowa managed to grab a small pack of God-knows-what, but it didn't seem like very much. Duo also brought along a black backpack, also filled with unknown contents. Quatre, on the other hand, didn't know what to bring… since he hadn't planned on having this safe house infiltrated, he had a lot of important paperwork collected in his office. He finally opted to bring two expensive leather suitcases filled with paperwork which could contain information on anything. Quatre's business, his family, Preventers cases…

We had to take two separate cars. As we stood in the parking lot, Wufei and Heero started to force the two men into the backseat of Wufei's car.

"Wouldn't it be smarter to divide them up in case we get chased?" I asked. "That way at least one of them will make it back to the Preventers?"

Everyone actually looked impressed by my idea. Heero was the one who volunteered a response. "If Quatre wasn't injured and if you weren't here, then maybe we could do it… but we don't want them to try to overpower anyone in the car. And if we put them in a car with either of you two, then they could use it to our disadvantage. We can't underestimate their strength, even if they are in our custody, so that's why Wufei and I will be taking them to Headquarters. Besides, Wufei's car is from the Preventers and therefore most appropriate for taking prisoners."

I looked over Heero's shoulder at the inside of the car, and certainly he was right. There was mesh separating the front seats from the backseats, just like the cop cars back home.

With that settled, Wufei and Heero took their seats in the front, and began to pull out from the driveway. Duo, Trowa and I took Quatre's car, along with the slow-moving, limping Quatre. I kept glancing at him in concern as Trowa helped him into the backseat of the car. The sooner we could get to a hospital, the better.

We started out following Wufei and Heero, speeding as fast as we could without killing ourselves. Duo was driving, I sat shotgun, while Quatre lay in the backseat, with Trowa next to him. We sped through the red lights of empty intersections, and begrudgingly came to a stop at the stoplights that had cars crossing our path.

Everything was fine. As fine as it could be considering the circumstances. Until I noticed Duo glance in the rearview mirror and curse.

"Shit."

"What?" I replied frantically, and literally turned around in my seat to look behind me.

"Get down!" Duo demanded, yanking me back into my seat. "We're being followed."

"They're either after us, or after the men we've captured." Trowa stated.

"We have to lure them away from Heero and Wufei…" Quatre said through clenched teeth. "They have to make it to Headquarters. Being able to take those men into custody is the number one priority right now. They could hold the key to blowing this whole case wide open."

"I agree." Trowa replied.

I didn't say anything. I didn't exactly want to be in the car that was going to be chased by the bad guys, but then again I couldn't very well opt to save my own ass. Duo glanced at me and we made eye contact. In that brief moment I expressed my willingness to participate, and Duo gave a brief nod, as a grin came across his face. "Well, that settles it." Duo announced. "You'd better hold onto your asses everyone… Things are gonna get a little crazy."

Trowa used Quatre's cell phone to call Heero and Wufei and explain the situation to them. The conversation was very brief. Apparently they had already developed a plan for a situation such as this.

Wufei's car randomly turned onto a small residential street, where it was dark. As he did so, he turned off the car lights, and cut the engine… and we sped past them as if they were never there. By the time the car following us had turned the same corner, Wufei and Heero were already parked and waiting for them to take the bait.

They took it, alright. Duo chose that as an opportune time to gun the engine, and the vehicle leaped forward. I grabbed the dashboard to brace myself against the velocity, even though I was already wearing my seatbelt. I gulped, hoping that would help my heart get out of my throat and back into my chest where it belonged.

They followed. I heard the screeching of tires on the slick icy road, and I could see their headlights flashing through the windows of our car. This didn't seem very promising. Suddenly our genius idea didn't' seem so genius anymore.

Duo turned widely here and there, the back tires losing traction and skidding along the ice, before they were able to grip once again, bolting us forward.

I stayed down out of sight in my seat, gripping anything I could get my hands on, when suddenly I felt a bone-jarring smash against the back of the car as the car rammed itself into us. Duo pressed on, cursing under his breath.

"Can't you go any faster?" Trowa demanded finally.

"Well excuse me Barton, but if I push this puppy any further, one of two things will happen! Either we go too fast over an ice patch on the road and spin out at over one hundred FUCKING MILES PER HOUR or I blow out this PIECE OF CRAP OVERLY-EXPENSIVE ENGINE! Do EITHER of those sound good to you?"

I watched from my crouched and clinging position to see an all black car with tinted windows speed up beside us at an amazing velocity. The passenger's window rolled down a fraction, and I distinctly saw the barrel of a hand gun sticking out. I opened my mouth to cry out to Duo, but he saw it.

"SHIT!" He shouted, and swerved our car into the side of their car, knocking them dangerously close to the curb for a second, causing them to fall back. "Well, there goes the side mirror!" He announced. "Q-man, I sure as hell hope this car is bulletproof!"

As if in answer to his question, I heard the sound of gunfire and ricocheting bullets off of the body of our car. Then I heard Quatre respond, "What kind of an idiot do you take me for?"

Trowa rolled down the window a fraction to start firing back. "Shit… they're bulletproof too." He announced, as he fell back away from the window to reload his gun. "Duo, we're going to need some help here."

"What the hell do you want me to do? I'm driving!" he shot back.

More rounds were fired, as they tried to pull up on my passenger's side of the car.

"Hold on tight, Lynn! Cover your head!" Duo ordered, and without waiting for me to respond or prepare myself, he swerved into them, ramming them away from us again. I heard the distinct crunching and scraping of damaged metal, and stared at the passenger door that was now a couple of inches closer to my car seat. My side mirror dangled on its wires, slamming pitifully against the side of the car, before finally snapping and falling away, lost somewhere back on the asphalt. They fell back and sped up behind us, ramming us from behind.

"They're trying to cut the breaks!" Quatre exclaimed, as he tried to sit up.

"Don't move." Trowa demanded. "You're not fighting in this one, Quatre. Not in the condition you're in."

More bullets were exchanged between two cars. Trowa dropped down to change his clip again, cursing. "Duo, we need to do something. I'm on my last clip now."

I watched as the God of Death clenched his teeth, as his knuckles on the steering wheel turned white. "Goddamn it…" he cursed. "Lynn, we're switching places. Take the wheel."

"WHAT!" I shouted. "I don't even have my permit yet!" What the hell was I talking about…?

"Who the hell cares! Woman, you are random!" Duo shot back. "Now take the wheel!" I hesitated, and he said to me, "You can do this, Lynn… I know you can."

"I fucking hate you." I grumbled. I first took the wheel from his hands.

Duo unbuckled his seatbelt. Another ram from behind sent me and the side of my head slamming against the dashboard, and Duo threw his hands up to control the wheel again. "You okay?" He asked, as I straightened myself up.

I nodded as I took the wheel in my hands again. "Hurry up, damn it!" I demanded.

I felt the car speed up even faster, as Duo put some extra power onto the pedal, putting a little bit of distance between us and our pursuers. I heard the engine whine in response, and gulped.

"That is SO not a good sound…" I heard Quatre say.

Duo began to instruct me. "You're going to have to come onto my lap so that when I get out of this seat, your foot will still be on the gas pedal."

"Duo, my ass is too big to squeeze between you and that steering wheel." I pointed out. But I still began to follow his instructions. Right now talking back was all that was keeping me sane. Just as I slipped into his lap, he slipped out of the seat, creating as smooth an emergency switch as we could, considering the circumstances. He immediately leaped back, to start helping Trowa. While they did their planning, all I could focus on was how damn happy I was that this car was an automatic.

"One of us should divert their fire while the other person tries to take out their tires." Duo explained.

"Sounds good." I heard Trowa reply.

"Whatever you guys do you had better do it fast!" I demanded, as I watched the gas gage flicker dangerously towards the 'E'. Goddamn son-of-a-bitch……

I kept driving… pushing the car as best I could… knowing that at any moment now, the engine was going to give up due to lack of juice. We began to get out of the city, approaching the beginnings of forest of wherever-the-hell-we-were. Ahead of us was what was probably the last stoplight we would see for another few miles. And this one damn stoplight had a car coming down the cross street, just for us. I stared wide-eyed at the red light that we were fast approaching.

Panic lodged itself in my throat, and I forced myself to speak. "Uh… guys… GUYS!"

I glanced in the rearview mirror to see Quatre yank their shirts to get their attention.

Duo and Trowa popped their heads back in from firing rounds, to look ahead at our predicament.

"Oh my God… what do I do?" I demanded.

"Keep going!" Trowa instructed.

"Floor it!" Duo added.

I obeyed. I slammed on the gas. I didn't look at the car that was approaching us. I refused to look into the eyes of my Doom.

Just as we approached the intersection I heard the screeching of tires, and out of the corner of my eye I could see the car swerve away from us. I checked my rearview mirror, my heart pounding, as the car pursuing us managed to avoid getting into a collision with them as well, still hot on our heels. Still, I could feel the giddy relief of still being alive.

"WOOH!" Duo cheered. "You ROCK!"

"That was a close one," Trowa announced.

"Good job Lynn…" Quatre said weakly.

"Guys, we're running on empty here…" I announced, making sure to thoroughly squash whatever good mood they were briefly in.

"Shit. What are we going to do?" Duo demanded.

"We can't get out and run…" Trowa stated.

I glanced in the rearview mirror at the car that was quickly gaining on us, preparing to rear-end us again. In a split second of random decision-making, I swerved the car to the right and very slowly began to apply the brake, causing them to go speeding by us, taken by surprise by our sudden maneuver. We watched, entranced, as they tried to slam on their brakes to stop and turn around since the road was too narrow to turn at the speed they were going at. Their tires hit a patch of black ice, and the vehicle spun out, diving over a snow bank. Our car finally sputtered its last breath and lurched to a stop on the side of the road, and as we sat we listened to the crashing of plants, and then a thunderous crash resounded throughout the forest causing snow to fall from the pine branches. Great flames leaped up where the car had disappeared, licking at the frozen bows of the great conifers. We sat there in a stunned silence as the flames continued to dance, the only roaring sound except for the ringing in our ears.

"Woah…." Duo finally said. "No one could have survived that."

"You did it…" Trowa commented, just as awed at the sudden turn of events at I was. I didn't respond. I just sat there in silence for a few minutes.

Finally, Quatre spoke up, his voice surprisingly close to my ear. "You okay Lynn?" he asked, as he put his hand on my shoulder. I gave a slow nod, as I continued to stare at the flames, my mouth hanging open in shock. I can't believe it actually worked. Holy crap. We're still alive. And we're not injured. Or in an accident. And _I_ was driving! ME!

"That was my first time driving a car…" I stated distantly. I received three wide-eyed looks, and began to blush.

Then Duo gave me a resounding pat on the back (more like a few good slaps). "Good job! First time for everything, eh?"

"And hopefully the last time…" I heard Quatre respond. I continued to sit in my dazed state of mind.

I listened vaguely as Trowa called up Heero and Wufei to have them come pick us up since we were now stranded. I knew they'd be there soon.

We sat there for a few more minutes in silence, and then everyone started getting out of the car. I continued to sit there, unable to move for some reason, frozen into the driver's seat, my hands clenching the steering wheel.

A minute later I noticed Duo's hand hovering in front of me, offering to help me out. "C'mon…" I heard him say. I tore my eyes away from the leaping flames, and looked at him as I began to move my legs around to the side to get out. And then I saw it. A red dot was hovering right over his heart, and I knew what that meant. Without hesitation, without even thinking of the consequences, I leaped up out of my seat, covering my body with his.

At that instant a single shot fired out into the night air. I heard three more shots fire soon afterwards from right next to me, and I knew that Quatre and Trowa had fired back at the hidden assassin. All fell in silence, and I knew the man was dead, even though I couldn't see him. I pushed myself off of Duo, feeling dizzy and lightheaded, my ears ringing with the sound of gunfire. My eyes focused and I could see the blood on his chest, almost black in the winter night. No. I wasn't fast enough. I was too late. He was hit. I looked up into his eyes to see the shock there, but his eyes weren't focused on mine. They were focused on my right shoulder. I followed his eyes and saw the blood spreading there… my blood. _I_ was shot. I gasped in shock, and then the pain hit me. My body sank, falling forward, Duo catching me.

Cries came out of everyone all at once, as they rushed to my side while I felt the warmth of my own blood seeping down the inside of my flannel nightshirt. I couldn't begin to explain the pain that I felt. I couldn't breathe. The world felt like it was starting to spin.

"LYNN!" Someone shouted at me, forcing me to come back to reality. I focused on violet eyes, trying to blink away the dizziness. "NO! No, no no…" He clamped his hand over my wound to try and stop the blood, but it didn't work. I cried out in pain. He took his hand away and stared at my blood that covered it, dripping down his fingers, terrified.

"We need help!" I heard Quatre cry out. Then I felt my face being taken into his hands, turning my head to look at him. "Lynn! Stay awake! We need you to stay awake!"

It took me a moment to realize that we were now sitting on the icy road, while Duo held me in his lap. When did that happen? I couldn't remember. All I could feel was the pain… and how tired I felt. I tried to focus, I really did. I wanted to stay awake for them.

I don't know how much time had passed, but it felt like only seconds. I heard the sound of a siren wailing, and I saw a bright flashing light. It made me dizzy and I closed my eyes against it, but I was shaken awake by someone. I opened my eyes about halfway, and all I could see were shadowy forms surrounding me, moving quickly.

Then I felt myself being lifted, and the pain shot through my body causing me to cry out. The emergency light disappeared, replaced by something large and dark hovering over me. I was laid on a hard flat surface that seemed to shift and move. It kept moving… sinking and rising, sinking and rising, as I saw figures rising and passing by me, surrounding me until the motion stopped and then the surface I was lying on was moving. My eyelids felt so heavy…

"LYNN! WAKE UP!" Who's voice was it? I couldn't place it… but I knew it. I forced my eyes open to find myself looking into sharp blue eyes that usually looked like ice… but this time I could see the fear behind them. The worry. Heero hovered over me, cupping my cheek in his hand. I changed my blurred gaze to my surroundings, and I could see the metal floor of the back of a large truck with a canvas top covering it. Everyone was sitting in it, surrounding me. Duo, Quatre, Trowa, Heero… and I saw Sally as well. Where was Wufei? Why were we in a truck?

I tried to move my mouth to start talking. Finally it started to produce the sounds that I wanted. "Where… am I?"

Sally immediately began to take charge, while Heero continued to talk to me. "You're in a truck. There wouldn't have been enough room in a car for all of us. Plus we weren't sure if we'd retrieve any of those men who chased you. We got the man who shot you in here, you just can't see him from where you are."

"Is he dead?"

"Yeah."

"Where's Wufei?"

"He's driving."

"Heero… it hurts…" Tears stung at the corners of my eyes, and my body tensed as a wave of pain went through it.

He stared down at me, his eyes reflecting my pain. He brushed my hair out of my face. "I know." He replied. His fingers brushed away my tears, and I tilted my cheek into his rough hand.

Then I heard Quatre exclaim, "Duo! You're hurt!"

I tried to sit up immediately, but both Heero and Sally wouldn't have it. They forced me back down, carefully trying not to apply pressure to my shoulder.

"I'm fine." I heard him reply.

"Duo's shot too?" Sally replied, turning to address them quickly.

"I said I'm fine." Duo shot back.

"Trowa, take care of him." Sally ordered. "Heero, you're helping me with Lynn."

I watched Trowa force Duo to sit back, and he had him take off his shirt, where I could see the wound on the left side of his chest, right above his heart, stained with blood.

"But… how?" I whispered, wanting to cry. "I… I blocked it…"

"Yeah, you blocked it alright…" Sally replied. "But it went through your body and must have lodged itself into his shoulder. Don't worry, though… you absorbed most of the impact, he's fine. He's barely even bleeding. Don't worry about it, Lynn. Right now we need to take care of you. We need to take off your shirt to see the wound. Heero, you do that, I'm going to grab what I need from the first aid kit."

Sally crawled away out of my peripheral vision, and Heero began to unbutton my top. I tried to push his hands away. "Don't…" I pleaded hoarsely.

"This is no time for modesty." Heero explained. "If we can't stop the bleeding then you're going to die." He proceeded to unbutton my top, and I turned my head away in embarrassment. I instinctively covered my chest with my arms, tears sliding down my cheeks and into my hair as the action made my entire body throb with pain, starting from the shoulder. I wasn't wearing a bra…

He took my top, half of which was soaked in my own blood, and left it underneath me, so that I wouldn't be on the cold metal of the truck bed. Then he took a thin wool blanket from God-knows-where, and put that over my chest, just low enough that my wound was visible but high enough that my breasts were covered.

Sally came back, and began to quickly clean and patch my wounds with Heero's help. I bit my lip in pain as they rolled me onto my side to tend to hole in my back, wrapping gauze tightly around my shoulder. Under the arm, over the shoulder. Under the arm, over the shoulder. She finally tied it off…but the blood seeped through quickly, and I watched as she gave Heero a worried glance.

I felt so tired. I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to close my eyes, just for a little bit. I started to drift off, but I was woken up again by Heero.

Sally stared down at me, then addressed to Heero, "I can't do anything right now. Not until we get to the hospital. Heero, I can't stop the bleeding."

"It… hurts…" I whispered. "When I breathe… it hurts."

Sally took this piece of evidence, and stated, "She may have a ruptured lung. I'm sorry… there's nothing I can do." She sat in silence for a moment as Heero stared down at me, his eyes narrowed. Finally she said, "I'm going to go check on Duo and Quatre. I'll come back and check on her in a minute. We're almost at the hospital. Just keep her awake until then."

She disappeared, and I stared up at the ceiling, feeling myself drift off again. Then Heero started talking to me. "Stay awake, Lynn. Please."

My body began to shiver. "H-Heero… I'm c-cold…"

"You've lost a lot of blood. That's why I need you to stay awake. If you fall asleep you might go into a coma. Please, Lynn. Don't close your eyes."

Tears began to fall down the side of my face and into my hair. "I'm sorry…" I cried.

"Don't be sorry. Just try and stay awake for me, okay?" Heero sat there next to me, holding my hand. A minute of silence went by, and I felt my body starting to relax. "Sing." He said, bringing me back to reality.

"What?" I whispered.

"Sing something. To stay awake."

"Sing…" I whispered, thinking about it. "Sing…" I cleared my throat and began to softly sing the first thing that came into my head. "Show me the way to go home. I'm tired and I wanna go to bed. I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went straight to my head…"

My vision blurred, and I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. The lyrics fell away from my lips, and I felt myself falling away from the pain.

"Lynn! No, don't! Wake up!" Came Heero's voice. He was shouting now. I heard other shouts of my name, but they sounded so distant to my ears.

Duo's panicked voice broke through, and I forced my eyes open to see the pain on his face. He didn't hide it at all. The self-blame was there, as plain as if it were written across his forehead. My heart twisted in emotional pain and I mustered the last of my strength to take his hand. "You're _not_… the God of Death…" I whispered. He stared back shocked, his violet eyes starting to shimmer with tears in the darkness. I turned and looked back at Heero, who seemed to be holding his breath. "I'm… sorry…"

'I'm sorry…' I thought, as my eyes closed. 'I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stay awake.' The world fell away with me, taking the pain with it. I let out my last breath in relief.


	18. Maybe I don't really want to go home

Dreamweaver02: ARGH! Stupid aggravating wouldn't let me log in… (grumble grumble)

Wufei: What are you complaining about now, onna? It's not like you had to wait very long… you only tried posting on Thursday!

Dreamweaver02: Only Thursday? ONLY THURSDAY? My dear chauvinistic friend… THURSDAY may not mean much to you, but it certainly means a LOT to them! points to fans holding pitchforks and torches

Heero: Point well made.

Dreamweaver02: Anyway… as I was saying… YAY! Here's the next chapter! I hope you guys didn't have to wait too long! Sorry about that! Thank you SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! OMG! I GOT SO MANY! (Stares with wide eyes) chapter 17 was my most reviewed chapter so far! Thank you SO SO MUCH! I hope you'll keep letting me know what you think of it! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I know I enjoyed writing it!

**Chapter 18: Maybe I don't really want to go home…**

They say that when you're in a coma, that you don't remember anything when you wake up. I don't know if that's actually true… and if it is, then I don't know what state of consciousness I was in. I opened my eyes slowly, and gasped. I could see my family surrounding me, as I lay in my room, their worried faces staring down at me. My mom… my brother… I had almost forgotten what they looked like. Tears stung my eyes and I realized how much I missed them, how much I needed them…

But I remembered being shot. And I remember Duo, Heero, Sally… Everyone. I remembered everything that had happened to me, and I couldn't bring myself to believe that it was all a dream. So what was going on? Did I die and get thrown back into my own world? I couldn't bear the thought of that… I needed my new friends now just as I needed my family. I never got to say goodbye to them… it's not fair. I never got to say goodbye.

I began to cry… Tears slowly filled my eyes and spilled over, hot and thick, blurring my vision until everything was a mass of shades and colors. I squeezed my eyes shut, as I felt them roll down my cheeks, and I bit my bottom lip in misery.

I opened my eyes again to find myself breathing heavily, staring at a bright, white ceiling, with a white curtain hanging to my right, following along the bed that I was lying in. I heard the bleeping and steady humming of machines, and I took a deep breath, feeling the pain in my chest in doing so. Where was I? My surroundings seemed to visibly warp, and I closed my eyes, relaxing my body. I opened my eyes again, this time a little bit more in control of my senses. My fingers twitched as I tried to get them to move, and I tried to clear my throat. My mouth felt like it was glued shut… it was dry and pasty, and I would have killed for a glass of water if I could.

"Good morning, beautiful…" said a voice next to me. I turned my head to the side to see Duo sitting there in a chair, and I was finally able to put a name with the place: hospital. I was in a hospital. Meaning I was alive. Meaning I was still in the Gundam Wing universe. Tears filled my eyes, and I realized I was happy to be here. What I had dreamed had scared me. Finally I grasped what I had previously been trying to suppress… maybe I don't want to go home as much as I used to. I've gotten used to being here and having this life… and am I wrong to feel that way? To turn my back and give up on what I once knew as normal?

I smiled through my tears, and held my hand out to him. "Duo…" I whispered. My voice was hoarse, dry… it sounded like rattling leaves.

He took my hand and stood up from the chair and then sat on my hospital bed right next to me, setting a magazine aside that had been resting on his lap. "Hey…" he replied. He wiped my tears out of my eyes with his thumb. "How are you feeling?"

I tried to grin at him. "Like a million bucks…" I joked. My shoulder throbbed momentarily, and I stiffened, holding my breath, and then let the air out slowly as the pain subsided.

"Yeah, you look like it…" he teased back.

"W…where am I?" I asked, as I licked my chapped lips.

"You're in a hospital in the Sanq Kingdom." He explained.

I tried to sit up, but the pain in my chest wouldn't allow it. "The Sanq Kingdom?"

"Yeah," he replied. "It's not like we could stay where we were… not after everything that had happened, ya know. Doing that would be the same as walking up to their hideout with a great big neon sign saying, 'Gundam Pilots! Right Here!'" He pointed his fingers to his grinning face as he said this, and I started to laugh, but stopped after a few seconds due to the pain it caused. His eyes softened and he brushed a strand of unkempt hair out of my face. "The Sanq Kingdom is a peaceful country, so it's the safest place to be right now."

"I thought it was destroyed…"I whispered.

"It suffered a bit of damage… but it's still managing." He explained, as he ran his fingers through his bangs. "Relena has helped pull it back together when she has the time."

"Where _is_ the Sanq Kingdom?" I asked.

"You don't know?" He said incredulously, his violet eyes wide with surprise. "Everyone knows the Sanq Kingdom. Just like everyone knows about the original Heero Yuy!"

"There's no such thing as the Sanq Kingdom where I'm from." I stated.

"Ahhh… dang it… that's right. Well, it's nowhere important, honestly… just a little country in the middle of Europe." I nodded in understanding, and we quieted down for a little bit. Finally, Duo spoke up again. "We were worried about you, ya know…"

I smiled softly, and tucked a loose strand of brown hair behind the man's ear. "I told you, you weren't the God of Death… do you really think I'd bite the dust that easily?"

"Yeah, well you scared the shit out of us when you didn't wake up." he replied.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, as I began to take in my surroundings. I had a drip attached to my arm, and a monitor was keeping track of my heart rate.

"Only a few days…" he replied. "But let me tell you, it's been the longest few days of our lives."

"Sorry…" I grinned. "I was tired." I noticed all of the flowers surrounding my bedside. "Are all of these for me? Since when have I become so popular?"

Duo pulled off one of the cards from a nearby vase of roses. "Hey, you even got some flowers from Zechs!" he gave me a devilish grin.

"Really?" I grinned back. "Oh, do tell… what does it say?"

"It says, 'Get well soon. Sincerely, Zechs Merquise… and Lucrezia Noin.' Aww… tough luck…" He put the card back onto it's holder with the flowers.

"I knew it was too good to be true. A man like that could never stay single for long…" I commented with a smile. Flashes of my memory came back, and I tried to sit up a little bit in panic. "Duo, are you alright? You got shot-"

"I'm fine…" he said, cutting me off. "The bullet barely even went in. In fact, they were more concerned about your blood being transferred into me by the bullet. If your blood type was different than mine, then it would have clotted… which is bad. I guess. I dunno. I'm not a science guy." He smiled sheepishly, but it didn't reach his eyes. He was quiet for a moment, and then he stood up and went to the window near me. He stared outside, as sunlight filtered in, caught in the coppery strands of his hair. His posture was slouched; shoulders hunched forward protectively with his hands on the windowsill, a form that meant he was trying to shut out the world from the inside. He spoke quietly, just loudly enough for me to hear, three feet away from him. "You shouldn't have gotten in the way, Lynn… That bullet was meant for me, not you."

"You're welcome…" I shot back lightly. Duo turned and looked at me, guilt starting to creep up onto his face. I smiled at him. "You don't get it… you guys are all I've got. I can't stand by and let you get hurt. If I have to, I'll take a bullet for you again, whether you like it or not. I know you'd do the same for me."

"Lynn…"

I turned and looked away. "I love you guys… all of you… and when you love someone you want to protect them." I turned back and looked at him. "Has it ever occurred to you that sometimes you guys might need to be saved once in a while?"

He gave a short laugh. "I try not to think about that. I'm much better off thinking I'm immortal. I'm the God of Death, remember? Death doesn't die."

"You're also Duo Maxwell." I corrected. "And you're my friend."

Right then the door opened, and people entered. Quatre entered first, a bandage still on his head and his movements stiff, followed by Trowa, then Heero.

"You're awake!" Quatre perked.

"How are you?" I asked him.

"I'll be alright… I'm up and breathing, aren't I?" he smiled. He came in and took the seat that Duo was originally in, easing into it slowly.

"What's the damage report?"

"Two broken ribs… that's about it…" the blonde explained.

"How are you feeling?" Trowa asked me, as he took a spot behind Quatre, standing.

"I'd kill for a glass of water…" I admitted. "Other than that, I think I'll manage."

Heero found a pitcher that I didn't notice before, and poured me a glass of the blessed liquid. "Here." He said quietly, and handed it to me, and then sat on the end of my bed. Duo was still near the window, being a spectator. All hints of our serious conversation were wiped from his face, and once again he was smiling like he always did.

I sat up painfully, and guzzled the water down like there was no tomorrow. "ahhh…" I breathed afterwards, lying down again. "You are a life saver, Heero… so when do I get to get out of here?"

"Not for a few days." Trowa explained. "You haven't healed completely yet. You could still reopen your wound."

"The bullet went through your shoulder, breaking through your shoulder blade, and rupturing your lung." Heero explained.

"Yikes…" I replied. "Thank God nature gave me two lungs then…"

"You would have died if you didn't…" Quatre whispered quietly, looking at his hands. I silently covered his hand with my own.

"It's a good thing Po is such a competent Doctor…" said an arrogant voice from the doorway. I looked up and saw Wufei standing there, his hands on his hips.

"Why thank you Wufei!" came Sally's voice, as she poked her head into the doorway. She was dressed in a white doctor's coat, with a couple of pens in her pocket and a stethoscope around her neck. He turned his head away from her, crossing his arms in a huff. She ignored his attitude and looked at me. "How are you feeling?"

"Compared to what?" I asked.

A grin spread across her features. "I'll take that as 'I'm doing fine, Dr. Po, thank you.'" She came in and adjusted my bed so that I could lean my back against it in a sitting position.

"Do you want us to leave?" Heero asked her.

"This won't take long, Heero…" Sally replied. "You can stay; I know you've been worried about her."

I looked at him when she said this, and he turned his eyes away in silent denial. Heero was worried about me, eh? Interesting. Interesting indeed. I quickly tried to mask my surprise, as Sally had me sit forward. She began to check my breathing with her stethoscope. Then she checked my blood pressure with the nearby machine, and then checked my bandages on my back.

"We had to get into your shoulder during surgery to repair the damage done to your scapula."

I gave her a puzzled look.

"Your shoulder blade." Wufei explained with a slight grin.

Duo found this an opportune time to add his two cents. "Wow, Wufei! You're a genius! Hanging around Sally must be having _some_ sort of positive effect on you!"

"Shut up, Maxwell. _She's_ the one who didn't know what Po was talking about…"

Duo rolled his eyes at him, and stepped over to sit next to Heero on the end of my bed.

"As I was saying…" Sally growled as she glared at them. "There's going to be a scar because of the surgery. Thankfully we didn't have to repair too much, so it won't be too big. Your lungs are healing beautifully, just so long as you don't do anything stupid-"

"Like jump in front of another bullet…" Wufei commented, a hint of laughter in his voice.

"Shut up, Wufei…" Sally scolded. The Asian chuckled at her.

"Well, this is fun and all, but I'm starving." Duo commented.

"You _have_ hardly left this room since Lynn was hurt…" Trowa mused. "I'm surprised you didn't give in to your stomach sooner."

"Ha, ha." Duo laughed dryly. "I'm gonna go across the street and get a burger. I'll be back guys, ciao…"

We watched him walk out of the room, and then Sally turned back to me. "Just take it easy. You'll be out of here in about a week."

"That means a week of hospital food." Trowa commented. "My sympathies." He smirked at me. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"The food isn't _that_ bad here…" Quatre commented, looking at his friend. Trowa gave him a skeptical glance.

Sally started laughing. "Just wait and give it a few more days of eating it, Quatre…" she commented. "Come on, it's your turn now. Let's go back to your room, and I'll proceed with your check up-"

"But Sally, I told you I'm fine…" Quatre replied.

"Listen to her." Trowa ordered, narrowing his eyes at his friend. Quatre groaned and stood up, wincing slightly. He gave me a peck on the forehead. "I'll be back later, Lynn…" Then he followed Sally, Trowa following him as well. Wufei also shifted from his position to leave.

"Going to follow them?" Heero commented, as he stood up.

"You underestimate the level of entertainment there is from watching this onna work." Wufei smirked, as he walked out the door and down the hall.

I thought Heero was going to go as well, but instead he came over and sat in the currently empty chair.

"Hey…" I whispered, giving a small smile.

"Hey…" he replied quietly.

"Sorry I scared you guys…"

"Don't worry about it."

We sat in silence for a little bit. I felt shy in front of him, and I wasn't sure why. Maybe I felt embarrassed that he could see me like this. I wasn't sure. I stared outside the window at the sunlight spilling in, as birds chirped outside. The bleeping of the monitor became a faded background noise, while my ears picked up every occasional shift in clothing, every creak in furniture. Finally, I couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"I had a dream… while I was unconscious…" I started.

"What about?"

"I dreamed that I went back home…"

There was another pause, and then Heero commented quietly, "You must hate being trapped here. You probably didn't want to wake up."

"Actually…" I explained. "I wasn't happy… well, I was… I was happy to see them… but I was sad that I wouldn't get to see you guys ever again. I didn't even get to say goodbye… and then I woke up, and I discovered that I was still here. And I was so glad."

"Lynn…" Heero started, as he looked at me, his eyes peering into my soul. I looked away, blushing.

"Do you think that it was just a dream, or did I really get back home for a few seconds?"

"I don't know." He admitted. "But you're here now."

"Yeah… I am… and I don't' think it'd be worth it to die to try and find out. I'll always miss them… but I don't want to leave you." I paused, and then I corrected myself. "Any of you. I don't want to lose any of you guys here." I felt my cheeks get hot. I felt like such an idiot. Talk about a Freudian slip.

"I agree." I looked at him, to see that he was smiling at me… it wasn't a big smile… in fact, it was very slight… but it was there nonetheless. I eyed him carefully… was he smiling at my slip-up? He spoke some more. "So you want to stay with us?"

"Can I?" I pleaded.

He gave a nod. "Just be more careful with your life."

"You're one to talk…" I shot back with a grin. Another wave of pain washed over me, and I clenched the sheets in my hands. I let out another slow breath, letting it pass.

"You okay?" he asked finally.

"Yeah…" I sighed. "I just need to work on being invincible, that's all…" More time passed silently between us, and finally I asked, "I'm still tired… how can I be so tired? I slept for days…"

"It takes a lot of energy to repair your body." Heero explained. He stood up. "You should get some rest."

"Stay with me…?" I asked quietly. He looked surprised by my request, so I tried to explain. "I hate being alone sometimes… especially in hospitals. The environment… it seems so unnatural. Just stay until I fall asleep? Please?"

He stood there for a moment, and I began to feel guilty for making such a request. I can act so girly at times, it's aggravating. Finally I sighed, "You don't have to if you don't want to."

He stared at me for a moment, blinked, and the pulled the chair closer. As he sat down in it, he took my hand into his own. "I'll stay. You sleep." He leaned forward, both of his hands holding my left hand, his elbows on the edge of my bed.

"Thank you…" I whispered quietly, giving his hand a small squeeze. His hand squeezed back.

I got regular visits from them, although they were hardly ever all in the room at once, like they were on the first day that I woke up. I hardly got to see Quatre, since Sally kept him under surveillance. He wasn't even really supposed to be leaving his room that much. I also hardly ever saw Trowa, who was always keeping Quatre company when he wasn't working, and Wufei, who was always on the go, working day in and day out for the Preventers. Duo and Heero ended up being my only real regulars. I had learned about our new safe house. Turns out it's located near a college, so it won't seem unusual for a group of teenagers to be living together under one roof. They were able to send other Preventers to our old house and gather the rest of our belongings, such as my clothes, and Quatre's desktop computer that was in his office before anyone else could get to it (thank God.)

I had been there for almost a week, and now I was able to sit up comfortably. The pain was almost completely gone, and breathing was easy enough to where I didn't have to think about it. Heero was keeping me company on one of his visits, and like always, I was the one who kept us talking.

"Whatever happened to those two men you captured? Did they say anything important to help you guys with your case?" I asked, as I doodled in my sketchbook.

Heero's expression became dark. He shook his head. "They refused to cooperate. They're being tried right now… but they've taken an oath of silence."

"Were you guys able to ID them?" I paused in my sketching and glanced up at him in question.

"No." Heero replied through gritted teeth.

"How about the man who tried to shoot Duo?"

"He was an ex-soldier of the Alliance. The others that he was in that car with died on impact and burned in the fire. He must have been able to get out of the car before it crashed. We found out where he was living and went to go investigate his apartment, but by the time we got there it had already been completely cleaned out."

I stared, shocked. "Completely?"

"We couldn't even find a fingerprint."

There was a silent pause. Then I whispered, "Wow… how about the children from the orphanage? How are they doing?"

His expression warmed a little bit. "They're fine. Samantha and Nicholas have fully recuperated, and they've all been transferred to another orphanage, along with their caretaker, Margaret. The building you worked at has been closed down."

I nodded silently and continued to doodle some more. I felt much better now that I knew everyone was okay. I began to get bored with my pointless doodles, so I began to draw Heero while he sat next to me. I kept glancing at him to make sure I got the perspective right, and finally he noticed.

"Why are you drawing me?" he demanded.

"Because I can. And I want to. And I'm bored. Stop moving so much." I scolded and then added with a grin, "Don't worry… I'm drawing you just as I see you. There isn't going to be any random woman with you, and you're going to have all of your clothes on."

He didn't respond, and as I glanced at him again to make sure I was getting the top of his hair right, I noticed that his cheeks were ever so slightly flushed. Actually, my eyes or the lighting could have made it seem like he was blushing when he wasn't… it seemed that slight. But I wanted to tease him anyway.

I smiled, and continued to sketch. "You're blushing." I stated.

"I am not."

"You so are…"

"Am not."

"Yes. You are."

"I'm leaving."

"Okay, go ahead and run away…" I teased, refusing to look up at him from my steady pencil strokes.

He refused to get up. "You're unbelievable."

"Your face is unbelievable." I shot back with a grin.

There was a pause in silence, and then he sounded completely confused. "What…? That doesn't even make any sense."

I started giggling. "I know… that's what makes it so funny."

Duo's voice came from the doorway. "She's right you know…" I looked up from my sketching. He was grinning from ear to ear, and wearing a black baseball cap, with a black shirt and blue jeans. I completely stopped in my doodling to stare at him. He shook his head at Heero and looked at me. "Don't bother with him… he doesn't have much of a sense of humor."

He pulled in an extra chair from the hallway and sat next to Heero. I returned to my doodling, staring at the Heero-in-graphite that I had created. I tapped my chin with the eraser of my pencil, pursing my lips in thought. I looked back at Heero and eyed him carefully.

"Change of doodling plans, Heero… I'm giving you long hair."

"_What?_" the usually stoic man exclaimed. "Why?"

"Because I want to see how it'll look on you!" I replied. "I'll leave your bangs the same… it's just going to be long and pretty in the back."

Duo started snickering at Heero. "Hey, you'll look like Zechs!"

"I like my hair the way it is." Heero stated icily, pointedly ignoring Duo's statement.

"I like your hair too, I just want to try something different." I explained. I began to change Heero's hairstyle.

"I have _got _to see this…" Duo said, and he got up and came around to peer at what I was doing. I sketched out the basics of the hair, and began to apply some shading to go along with the tones that I had already given to Heero's face. "It's scary how good you are at this…" he commented.

Heero stayed where he was for a moment, while I doodled some more, and then he gave in to curiosity and also peered over my shoulder. "Hn…" he muttered.

I finished up the hair, and held the sketchbook away at arm's length.

"Wow…" Duo commented. "That's pretty damn good. Hey, Heero, you actually look pretty good with long hair."

"I look bizarre." Heero stated. "And it's not even logical to _have _long hair. It gets in the way all the time and gets caught in things."

"Hey!" Duo protested. "Man with a braid sitting _right_ here!"

"hn… baka." Heero muttered.

"I heard that." Duo replied.

"I could draw you…" I suggested to Duo. "I could give you _short _hair. That's something I've never tried before…"

"Me…? With short hair? Please don't…" Duo began.

"Why not?" Heero smirked. "It's only fair."

I shrugged in defeat. "Heero's got a point, Duo…"

"Oh, come on… that's so mean!" Duo replied, giving me puppy eyes. I looked away to resist his persuasion.

"Come on, Duo… it'll be fun… please?" I replied, looking back at him. I gave him my own puppy eyes, and I watched signs of his inner struggle flash across his face. I quivered my bottom lip.

"Damn it. Women." Duo grumbled. "Alright… but I'm only doing this for you!"

"You're so weak…" Heero commented with a slight grin.

"Shut up, man…" Duo shot at him. He looked back at me. "Alright… go ahead…"

"Okay, I need you to sit in front of me. I hardly ever drew you before so I'm not used to drawing your face… I want to make sure I get it right."

With low grumbles coming from his throat, the God of Death shifted his position to sit right in front of me on the bed. I eyed the hat he was wearing, and then snatched it off of his head. "You can't have this."

"Hey!" he protested, his hands flying up to his hair. "So now I'm going to have hat-head in this drawing of yours?"

"You hair looks like it always does, Duo." Heero commented stoically.

"You're the _last_ person I would listen to when it comes to hair, Heero…" Duo shot back.

"I just need to be able to draw your bangs!" I explained. I put the hat on my own head, and discovered it was big on me. "You've got a big head, Duo."

"It has to be able to fit my big brain." He shot back.

A slight choking noise came from Heero, and I glanced at him. He cleared his throat. I started laughing at him. "You were just about to laugh, weren't you?"

He gave me a brief side glance, and then looked back at Duo. "No." he stated. I rolled my eyes in a 'yeah, sure, uh-huh' manner, and turned back to the matter at hand. Leaving the hat where it was, I began to sketch Duo.

A moment passed, while Heero watched me draw, when I finally noticed Duo grinning at me. "What's so funny?" I demanded.

"Someone should draw _you_." He commented. "You look cute with that hat on."

I hid behind my sketchbook, and pulled the cap lower. "Nice try, Duo, but I'm still going to draw you."

"Damn."

While I was sketching him, Quatre entered with Trowa, carrying a bag of fast food and a fountain drink.

I eyed the bag with wide, eager eyes. I was so tired of the hospital food, it was amazing. "For me?" I asked, sounding hopeful.

Quatre nodded. "My sympathy stretches farther than Trowa's. I can't even digest the food here anymore. I figure if we have to eat something that feels so unhealthy, then it might as well taste good." He handed me the grease stained bag, and I took it with great relish. I peered into the bag and saw the most beautiful thing in the world… large double cheeseburger with fries. He set the soda down on my bedside table, and I sipped at it, letting the bubbles of carbonation play on my tongue. I'm addicted to soda. I really am. If I'm ever to be bitten by a vampire, then I swear he'll get a sugar and caffeine high from me. I drink it that much. In fact, I would be surprised if my blood had a little fizzle to it, regardless of the fact that that is impossible.

I began practically inhaling my fries, licking the salty goodness off of my fingers. "God bless you, Quatre. Or Allah bless you, whichever you prefer."

"You didn't bother getting any for me?" Duo protested to his friends, as he once again adjusted his eyes to look large woeful.

"She needs it more than you do." Trowa explained. "Besides, you're supposed to stay in shape. This food doesn't do anything for your health."

"Hey! I'll have you know that fast food is an essential part of my American diet! If I didn't have that then I'd look like the twig that you are, wouldn't I?"

"Trowa is SO not a twig…" I piped up after sipping at my cola to help the French fries go down. "He may look skinny with clothes on, but I recall a particularly nice image of his chest."

"Woah, woah… What? When?" Duo demanded, staring at me.

"Uh…" I began. "It was a long time ago when I used to watch you guys as cartoons. It was a scene from the Mariemaia incident where Trowa had knocked out a couple of bad guys when he was working at the circus one night."

"I remember that." Trowa stated. "They underestimated me."

Duo slouched over and rested his chin in his hand. He eyed my bag of food. "This is so not fair…"

I grinned and took out my cheeseburger, slowly unwrapping it in front of him. Then I took a generous bite of it, and began to chew it, savoring the taste, making moaning noises as I did so. The God of Death narrowed his eyes at me, and I tried not to grin with a mouth full of food.

"That is sooo cruel…" Quatre laughed.

"What did I ever do to you? Where did I go wrong?" Duo demanded, as he watched me eat.

"Mmm…" I teased. "This tastes sooo much better than that omelet…"

"Well that answers that question…" Heero muttered. Quatre and Trowa started chuckling.


	19. Surprise, Surprise

**AN:** Oh. My. God. I am SO sorry everyone! It's taken me two and half months to update and I'm SOO SORRY! I've been busy like crazy… I graduated community college, I'm transferring to UC Berkeley, I broke up with my boyfriend, I'm working nearly 40 hrs a week in women's retail (which means I'm always exhausted), I went to Anime Expo over 4th of July weekend, and I just recently discovered a J-Rock Artist called Miyavi who has taken up all of my thinking time… sigh so sad. I've also been getting back into doing my artwork, which means my time has to be divided between this fanfic and drawing… Not to mention I had writer's block for a while there, even though I had it all figured out in an outline… it just wasn't coming together.

Whatever the case, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I made it extra long to try to make up for lost time… I hope I was successful. Thanx for all of the reviews so far, and thanx for putting up w/ me! GLOMP OF DEATH

**Chapter 19: Surprise, Surprise…**

I was let out two days later with a nice scolding from Sally about getting well and eating fast food…. I knew she'd notice the bag in the trash… and the smell in the room…

Everything was going great; I was packing up my things, my movements still a little stiff. Quatre and Trowa were going to come pick me up soon once they got off of work, and I was more than ready to get out of the too-white, too-sterile environment. Sally had a few minutes to spare between patients, so she leaned against the doorway of my room, her attention sharp in case she needed to be called on for any emergency. We were talking, just about things in general, everything going great. And then it struck. The worst thing in the universe.

"Shit." I commented, interrupting our conversation. I had been feeling the pains all morning, but I had dismissed it for indigestion or something… but I couldn't ignore the warmth I began to feel between my legs.

"What's wrong?" Sally asked.

I had just started my cycle, that's what's wrong… all of my happiness of finally getting to go to my new home with my friends and relaxing was dashed away by the one thing in nature that ensures that I'll bear children in the far and distant future.

"Shit shit shit…" I kept muttering to myself. I yanked my Jansport backpack up onto the medical bed that I had been occupying, and zip opened the small pocket on the front. I scanned the pockets inside, shoving away pens and pencils and lifting up the pencil sharpener and my wallet and cell phone in my frantic search for a tampon.

Sally walked over to me. "What's wrong?" she repeated.

I paused in my searching, and glanced at her my cheeks getting a little hot. "I, um… started my… you know…"

"huh…? …Oh!" she exclaimed. "You don't have anything on you?"

I shook my head.

"I'll be right back." She declared, and walked out of the room. I rushed into the small bathroom that was attached to my room. A minute later there was a tap on the door, and she handed me a pad. I scrunched up my nose at it but took it anyway. I hate pads; they're like diapers to me. I can't stand them. But beggars can't be choosers, right?

I came out a minute later, a little bit cleaner, and much less frazzled, although my lower abdomen was still hurting. Sometimes I just hate being a woman.

"When was the last time you had your period?" Sally asked me bluntly, and I knew it was a medical question.

"Um…." I thought to myself. Geez… when was the last time? It had to have been before I came to this world, but I couldn't say that… "Before I came to live with Quatre…" I explained.

"But that was two months ago!" she exclaimed, looking shocked.

"I've been under a lot of stress…" I offered. Couldn't be more true…

"Weren't you worried about being pregnant?" she asked.

"I don't need to worry about that," I replied and I finished packing the last of my things. "I'm still a virgin. Why, did you think I wasn't one?"

She shifted in her doctor's coat uncomfortably. "Well, no… it's just that you never know these days…"

I smiled and dismissed it. Right then, Quatre and Trowa came in.

"How are you feeling today?" Quatre asked me.

Sally and I shared and knowing glance and I replied, "Fine…"

Quatre grinned. "I know what that means." Damn him and his large collection of sisters…

Just then a nurse poked her head into the room. "Sally? We need you on the third floor."

"Well, that's my cue…" Sally announced. "I'm sure you guys can take care of her from here?" Both men nodded. "Okay, good! I'll be seeing you later, then. And Quatre… No more junk food." She gave him one sharp glare that caused the blonde to flinch, and with that, she left the room, while the nurse talked to her.

After a moment of silence, Quatre asked, "How did she know it was me?"

Both Trowa and I shrugged, and I gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "It could have been worse… You actually got off pretty easy."

"Are you ready to go?" Trowa asked me. I nodded and hefted the backpack over my left shoulder.

"Let's not waste another second here." I announced.

We left the room and began to walk down the hall, when Sally caught up to us again. She handed me a small white paper bag, trying to look discrete in front of Quatre and Trowa. "Take these." She whispered. "It should tide you over for this month…"

I peeked inside the bag, and then clutched it to my chest. "Thank you!" I replied. "Thank you thank you thank you…"

Sally took a step back. "Okay, you guys… get out of here. You've taken up enough of my time already, you know…" she said with a wink.

I claimed the passenger's seat once we got into the car, with Quatre driving and Trowa sitting behind me. With their permission I put on one of my CDs. It's one of my many mixes, and I've always called it my 'Traveling CD' since that's the feeling is gives me. It's an uplifting CD which is rare for me. I prefer bittersweet for the most part. So putting on a happy CD definitely says something about how I feel about leaving the hospital.

The first song to start playing was 'Where Do I Begin' by The Chemical Brothers. I got it from the Vanilla Sky soundtrack. I rolled down the window a little bit, and let the cold winter air hit my face. It was a sunny beautiful day, and the snow that covered everything was sparklingly white. So white it was almost blinding. For once there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and I took a deep breath of fresh air, feeling it rushing into my lungs from the speed of the car.

The Sanq Kingdom was a beautiful place. Far off in the distance, at the foothills stood the Peacecraft Palace, currently being remodeled from the destruction it had endured over the years. On a day like this, it really did seem like the perfect peaceful little country. Families went shopping and went for walks, children played in the snow that had collected in their front yards.

Quatre took an on-ramp onto a freeway, and I began to realize how far away the hospital must have been. We began to head towards the Palace, and as the freeway approached an incline, I could see from our vantage point that there were a number of other large buildings there, one of which I'm more than positive is the college that we're living near.

The ending of the song pulled back my attention, and I changed it to the next song. As good as the song is, it has the most annoying ending. It's like nails on a chalkboard to my ears.

The next song was 'Rhythm of the Road' by String Cheese Incident, and I grinned. One of my old favorites. It was played briefly in the movie Stepmom, doing it no real justice. It had a sort of Jazz/Blues/Acoustic Rock feel to it, and had one of the best piano solos ever. I glanced at Quatre, at the thought of it. Imagine Quatre playing something like that… it made me grin. Outwardly. And he caught it.

His aqua eyes gave me a puzzled, wary look. "What's so funny?"

"There's a piano solo that we're approaching in this song that I was imagining you playing." I admitted. "Here it is…" I turned up the volume a little bit. It was a short bridge, but very lively, and… well… fun. "Do you think you could play it?" I asked.

Quatre thought for a moment. "Probably… but I've never tried that sort of piano before. Sounds like fun, though…" he grinned.

"You have a very interesting taste in music, Lynn." Trowa commented from the backseat.

I grinned. "Thanks!"

The next song was a little more down the bittersweet alley. I leaned back in my seat, as 'Leaving on a Jetplane' by Chantal Kreviazuk filled the car. Instinctively, I started to sing along. "I'm leaving on a jetplane; I don't know when I'll be back again. Oh boy, I hate to go…"

The entire drive itself took about twenty minutes. Finally, we came into a neighborhood full of young people, all around our age, and carrying backpacks and riding bikes, clearing stating their status as a student. Quatre pulled up his car into the small two car driveway of a small house… well at least small, compared to what we were living in. It's still bigger than anything I lived in back home.

We had a small front yard with a fence and a tree, and with rose bushes lining the house. It was an old house… It was a crème color, with brown trim, faded and chipped with age.

We walked up the large flat stone steps to the front door. Trowa opened the door with his house key, and we entered.

It was so normal. It was… refreshing, actually. There was a small living room, with a TV, VCR and game console. There was one large old couch that just seemed to scream comfy. It had a coffee table in front of it, and there was a recliner chair off to the side. Still visible from my entrance was the kitchen… compared to the kitchen we used to have, this was tiny… but it had a breakfast bar, which I liked. It was still cute, and felt more comfortable to me. To my immediate left there was a door that looked like it led to a bedroom. To my right was a small hallway that branched off into rooms. I counted four doors; two on each side.

I didn't even have time to ask about the new living arrangements. Right then, Duo poked his head out of one of the rooms, a big grin on his face. "Hey! She's back! It's about damn time…" He walked up to the three of us, slinging an arm around my shoulders in the classic 'buddy' fashion.

"What are you doing home?" Trowa asked calmly.

"Good to see you too, man!" Duo replied. "I got off of work early! Isn't that great?"

Trowa gave a small grunt and turned around, entering the bedroom on our left. Duo stood there staring at where Trowa had left, scratching his head. "Man… what did I do?"

Quatre chuckled. "Don't worry about him; he's probably just tired or something." Then he turned to me and smiled. "So, do you want to know where your room is?"

I nodded. "That would be nice…"

Quatre led me down the small hall, and started pointing out the rooms. First he pointed out the first door on the left. "This is the bathroom. Sorry Lynn, but you're going to have to share it with Heero and Duo, since you guys are the ones occupying the rooms in this hall."

"Does it have a lock?"

"Yes."

"That's all I ask." I replied.

"Okay…" the blonde continued. He pointed to the second door on the left. "This is your room." He turned and pointed to the room directly across from my own. "This is Heero's room, and next to him…" he pointed to the room to the right of Heero's, and across from the bathroom, "… is Duo."

"What about you and Trowa?" I asked, even though I already felt that I knew the answer.

"The room that Trowa went into is the master bedroom, so it's big enough for the both of us." Quatre explained. "And it has its own bathroom, so thankfully there won't be five of us trying to take a shower at the same time every morning."

I nodded. "Well, it all makes sense to me… it's a small place, but I like it. It's nice and cozy."

By this point, all I wanted to do was to go into my new room, get settled in, and nurse my monthly pains. But Duo saw the paper bag I was holding. I read the look in his eyes as easily as if he had screamed it t me. Food?

"No." I countered, before he could even open his mouth.

"What's in it?" Duo asked. "You're not just saying, that are you? You're not holding out on me?" A sly grin began to form on his face I and moved the bag behind my body, a pathetic attempt on my part to keep it out of his reach.

"You don't want to know…" I replied.

He tried to casually walk around me, to get the bag back into his line of sight, but I turned with him. "Sure I do…" he replied.

"You'll regret." I informed as I started to back away towards my bedroom door.

"She's right, Duo…" Quatre said. "That is something you don't want to explore, trust me."

"Okay, okay…" Duo finally said, waving his hands in surrender. "I give up. Go unpack, Lynn."

I narrowed my eyes at him in suspicion, but finally deemed him trustworthy and turned to enter my room.

My foolish mistake. Never trust Duo Maxwell. Right then he snatched the bag from my unsuspecting hands, dashing a few steps away to avoid my first swipe at him.

"DUO!" I fumed. "GIVE THAT BACK!" I could already feel my face flushing with contained embarrassment. He is going to pay. He is SO going to pay…

I lunged for it, but he was taller than me, and held it out of my reach. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "Not until I find out what's inside! You can't keep secrets from me!"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE! IT'S NOT EDIBLE!" I shouted.

"Yeah, I gathered that much. But now I'm curious as to what IS in here…" He teased as he scratched his head with his free hand, his violet eyes shining with playfulness.

My eyes shined too. But they shined with rage. I felt like crap, but I'm stubborn as hell. I leaped towards the bag, but he held it just out of my reach, taunting me with it.

"What's in the bag, Lynn?" Duo demanded playfully. Damn it. He made it look like I was no challenge at all… which, c'mon, who are we kidding? Of course I'm no challenge for an ex-gundan pilot.

"Duo!" Quatre scolded. "You're being cruel! Give her back the bag!"

Duo turned to respond, and I took this as an opportunity to jump onto his back and grab the bag with my left hand.

"WOAH! JESUS!" Came Duo's response. But he still didn't let go of the bag.

Thus from the force from both Duo and I, the poor bag didn't have a chance. It tore open, all of the contents inside spilling out at our feet. Pads, tampons… and whatever self-esteem I had ended up on the floor.

Silence filled the room, and I got off Duo's back, and pushed him away.

"Thanks a lot!" I shot at him. "Are you happy now? Geez!"

I snatched the piece of bag that he was still holding in his hand, trying to ignore his shocked expression and stuttering attempts at what one could only guess to be an apology. I warned him… I had warned him, and he didn't listen. I tried as quickly as I could to clean up the mess, and then, without saying a word, I went into my room and slammed the door.

I had a mirror above my dresser, and I could see how red my face was. I could also see my eyes brimming with unshed tears.

I hate it when I get like this… but I don't handle embarrassment very well. It's just been one of my not-so-charming aspects of my personality. I looked around and started inspecting my room. I checked the closets and dressers and discovered my clothes had been put away for me. This upset me for some reason… the idea of any one of the guys handling my clothes, particularly my undergarments, gave me the feeling of an invasion of privacy.

And thus I knew… I was moody. My monthly was worse than usual, and I'm always the crankiest on my first couple of days. This was more hormonal than anything else. Bastards. Argh. Stupid female body… All I need to do is steer clear of all human life for a few days and then I'll be fine.

Much to my happiness, I had a door that connected me to the bathroom. The lock was on my side, so that no one could come into my room. Realistically this will set up more of a problem of me potentially walking in on Heero or Duo… but oh well. I'll just have to be careful.

I walked to the small window that I had next to my bed and looked outside. All I could see was the wall of the house next to me, while the wall to my left… the wall that would be against the backyard (if we have one) had no windows. I mentally scolded whoever designed the floor plan for this house.

I was too irate to draw or listen to music, and my body was currently in a state of pain. I didn't want to dare leaving my room… even for the bathroom next to me… to get Tylenol or anything, since I didn't want to accidentally bump into the braided wonder. 'Besides,' I thought to myself. 'that over the counter stuff never really works on me anyway…' ahh… yes. That's me trying to convince myself that my actions are just and logical, and no… not immature at all.

So I ended up lying down on my new bed. It was a full, this time. I wasn't used to the space at first… but I adapt quickly. Especially when it's to my benefit. Thankfully the bedding wasn't girly either. It was a simple pale blue, probably picked out by Quatre or Trowa. At least they finally realize the type of person I am, and know I would never like something with flowers or anything remotely close to the color pink.

I woke up a little while later, with the light not nearly as bright through my window. My stomach demanded food right then. Who am I to deny it? It's worth getting up and facing any possible human being, too. I'm willing to make that much of a sacrifice.

I stepped out of my room where all was quiet. Thankfully no one was out and about the house, so I immediately made my short trek to the small kitchen.

The cupboards were white, and looked a little old fashioned, and the kitchen window above the sink had white lace curtains that made me want to gag. It was like someone attacked it with a doily. I turned my eyes away from the horrid site, and began to scan the cupboards for food. I had no idea what I was in the mood for.

Just then I heard the front door open, and after a couple of seconds close. "Tadaima." Said Heero's monotone voice.

I poked my head out of the kitchen, and gave a brief smile to him. I had heard Trowa and Quatre make this exchange before, and I tried to remember what it was that Quatre had said… "Okani nasai? Okuni? Okuri? Damn it… how do you say 'welcome home' in Japanese?"

Heero entered the kitchen with me and grabbed a glass from the cupboard next to me. "Okaeri nasai." He corrected.

"Yeah. What you said. There you go." I replied, as I returned my eyes to the cupboard. "I think I should just stick to my good old fashion English."

"Are you making dinner?" Heero asked, as he filled the glass with water and took a couple of swigs.

I paused in my searching to stare at him. Make him dinner? What the hell am I, his wife? That image alone produced a weird image in my head and I returned to scanning the cupboards for food, closing the door to the one I was inspecting and opening another one. "No…" I replied.

Then I saw it. What I my stomach had been yearning for this whole time. I took the bag down and began to open it.

"Is that what you're eating?" Heero asked, giving me a weird look… probably disgust.

I took an Oreo out of the bag and twisted it, and began to methodically lick the frosting off. I just stared at him. I love watching people squirm.

"It's not healthy for you. You should wait for dinner." He scolded as he set his empty glass in the sink.

"I'm going to have a glass of milk with it…" I replied defensively. I got down my own tall glass and filled it high enough to where it was worthy of dunking. I then proceeded to dunk my Oreos and eat them, each time feeling a little happier with the world.

Heero watched this process as if he'd never seen it before in his life.

"Please tell me you've dunked cookies in milk, before Heero…" I started.

There was a pause and then a slow shake of his head. Ahhh! What's the matter with these people!

"That's… so unacceptable." I commented, shaking my head at him. This must be remedied. I handed him an Oreo.

"No thank you." He replied, turning to leave.

"Pleeease?" I begged. "Just try it. Don't tell me the great Heero Yuy is afraid to dunk his cookie."

…could that be taken any other way than the way I meant it? If not, then how come that sounded… wrong for some reason?

"I'll stop bugging you…" I prodded.

I could almost hear the sound of his teeth grinding. He finally turned back around and snatched the cookie from my hand, and I held out my glass of milk for him to dunk it in. He put it in for two seconds. MAX. How pathetic. I watched as he ate it, already shaking my head at him.

"It's still the same thing." He shot at me. "There, are you happy now?"

"No." I replied. "It's the same 'cause you didn't hold it into the milk long enough! You have to hold it for ten seconds. That makes it perfect."

"…you're joking." He replied, sounding almost bored.

I shook my head at him. "One more… c'mon, you know you want to." I handed him another cookie, and started to make it dance in front of his face.

He took it from me in defeat, and held it in my glass of milk. I counted for him, to make sure he got the full affect. "6……7……8……9……10. Okay. NOW you can eat it."

He ate it, and after a moment he swallowed and he was done. There was a moment of silence.

"Well…?" I prodded. "Was that not the best cookie experience in existence?"

"…it still tastes the same." He finished, and began to walk away to his room.

"Blasphemy!" I called after him. "You LIE! You cannot deny the greatness of the milk-soaked cookie!"

A few days went by, and I fell out of my little grumpy mood, and began to think of other things. Like the fact that it was the middle of November and Christmas was fast approaching. I need to get a job. Fast. I want to make sure I can get the guys' presents for the holiday season.

I stopped giving Duo the silent treatment finally, and now we were joking around again, although he was a little more gentle with me. Which wasn't really as fun, honestly. I have no problem with rough-housing. I was just mad that he tore my bag of feminine hygiene products.

The living arrangements were already turning into an interesting experience. Apparently Duo takes the longest showers in EXISTENCE. It makes a small part of me want to sneak into his room at night and chop off his beautiful braid just to speed up the process. Then I can keep the lock of hair in my room and pet it and wash it and name it Bobby.

By the way, I do NOT have a mental history. I promise you.

But I have definitely had to go borrow Trowa and Quatre's bathroom a couple of times since 'His Grace' must hog it all to himself every evening. I had threatened to barge in through my door if he didn't hurry up, since the lock IS on my side… just to wake up the next morning to the doorknob being switched with my bedroom doorknob, meaning the bathroom could be locked from the inside for both doors, whereas my bedroom… where I sleep and change… had the lock on the OUTSIDE, in the hallway. I had to have Trowa fix it for me.

Heero avoided this whole issue by just taking his showers in the morning. And he must have a bladder of steel, since he never once had a complaint about Duo's bathroom time. That bastard… but then again I guess spending all those times trapped in a gundam in the middle of space for a mission would do that to you.

I was hanging out with Quatre in the kitchen, helping him get dinner ready. We were having company over this time… Sally, Noin, and Wufei.

"You got him to dunk a cookie?" Quatre asked in disbelief, his lips forming a cute smirk.

"indeed…" I replied. "Twice, as a matter of fact. He didn't have much of a reaction though. Just turned around and went into his room."

"I think the fact that you convinced Heero to do something like that is a big enough reaction. He doesn't usually participate in small activities like that…" Quatre stated as he leaned against the kitchen counter, letting the food cook.

"You got to get Heero to do _what_?" Came Duo's voice as he entered the kitchen.

I began to blush. I didn't want Heero's cookie experience to become a huge deal. "Nothing…" I replied.

"Lynn got Heero to dunk an Oreo cookie in milk. Twice."

"Heero? Dunking a cookie in milk? That guy doesn't even LIKE cookies!" Duo exclaimed. "Do you know how many times I've tried to get him to do stuff like that?"

I chuckled and finally gave in to the topic. "Well, did you do the cookie dance? If you didn't do the cookie dance, then that may have been it."

"… The cookie dance?" Quatre questioned.

"Ya…" I explained. "It's where you make the cookie dance."

They both started laughing, as Duo started to move his hand towards the pot on the stove. Quatre was no fool.

"Duo!" Quatre scolded, his voice unusually sharp. "Baka!" He smacked the American's hand away with the wooden spoon he was holding.

"Itai!" Duo exclaimed as he shook his hand. "Oh, c'mon Q-man… just a taste? Please…?"

"No!" the blonde replied.

"So…" I began, trying to change the subject. "Noin is coming, right? Does that mean…?"

"Milliardo's coming?" Duo finished with a devilish grin. "Tsk tsk, Lynn… pursuing an older man who's already involved…"

"I am NOT pursuing!" I shot back.

Quatre and Duo both shared a look, and I glared at them. "No…" Quatre finally answered. "Milliardo doesn't usually like social events. He only goes to them if he absolutely has to, or if Relena asks him."

"Yeah… not even Noin could convince him to come." Duo added.

"Smeg." I commented.

Quatre shook his head at me as he went back to stir the food in the pots and check the oven.

After a little bit, everyone started to slowly trickle in. Trowa came home first from work, and then fifteen minutes later, Heero and Wufei entered. There wasn't much conversation going on. For the most part the guys all hung out in the living room watching TV… nothing interesting of course. They were watching the news. Because they don't understand what it means to "stop working." Duo, Quatre, Trowa and I were playing poker with a deck of cards I had found in the junk drawer in the kitchen. It wasn't very exciting. Then Noin and Sally entered.

"What do you guys think you're doing?" Sally demanded as Her and Noin removed their winter coats and hung them on the coat rack.

"We're watching the news." Wufei replied. "I figured that would be obvious."

"Smart ass…" she muttered, as she poked his head from behind the couch.

"ONNA! What are you DOING?" Wufei snapped.

Sally merely laughed, and then walked over to the dining room table where we were having our poker session, Noin following her.

"Hey, guys!" Noin piped up. "Who's winning?"

The guys all looked a little frazzled… with the exception of Trowa, who looked just the slightest bit irate. I raised my hand shamelessly.

They both started laughing. "Good job!" Sally exclaimed.

"How was your flight, Noin?" Quatre asked, as he folded.

"It was long, boring… you know, the usual. Too bad Zechs didn't want to come. At least I would have had someone to talk to."

"You know his real name is Milliardo, right?" Duo pointed out, speaking my thoughts.

"Yes, Duo… as you've so kindly pointed out ever time I mention him." Noin shot back playfully. "But he'll always be Zechs to me."

"Don't push it, Duo…" I commented with a chuckle.

"Well excuse me for living…" Duo teased.

"I fold." Trowa commented, as he put his cards down.

"Don't give in to her!" Duo scolded, as Trowa stood up and went over to join Heero and Wufei on the couch. He turned back and glared at me from under his brown bangs. "I'll get you…"

I blew on my nails and pretended to polish them on my shirt. "yeah, yeah… sure you will. But you better get some more money, otherwise you'll have to start betting your clothes."

"Strip poker?" Sally piped up. "Don't even give him the idea, Lynn… I'm sure he'd rather bet his clothes than his wallet."

"Besides," duo started. "If we play strip poker, then I'll make sure that you lose!"

Noin smacked him across the head. "Baka hentai! Is that any way to talk to a woman? Where did you learn your manners?"

Quatre got up and went into the kitchen to check the food, and I stood up to follow him, to escape the scene that was beginning to escalate.

"How is it?" I asked.

"it's done…" he replied.

"I'll let them know."

I walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room/living room area.

"Food's done!" I announced loudly. "Everyone report to the dining room!"

"I'll get the drinks!" Duo announced, leaping up from his losing game with Sally and Noin as they cleaned the cards away and rearranged the plates and silverware. "What do you guys want?" he asked.

"Soda please!" I announced.

"A woman after my own stomach…" he said dreamily, as I watched him lean over into the fridge to pull out the two liter bottle. Too sexy. Must look away.

"I'll have iced tea…" Quatre informed as he began to place the food on the middle of the table.

"We will too," Noin said as she and sally took a couple of the seats at the table.

"Water, please." Trowa said calmly as he sat down opposite of Noin.

"Milk." Wufei said, as he and Heero entered the dining room.

"Okay… you people are weird…" Duo commented. "How about you, Heero?"

"I'll have milk." He stated, as he took the seat at the end.

"Would you like cookies with that?" Duo teased.

My body froze. So did Heero apparently. He didn't give the braided man the luxury of a response. Instead, he gave me the coldest glare ever to grace my skin. I averted my eyes, and fiddled with the napkin in my lap.

A giggle escaped Quatre's mouth, but he stifled it right away. Still, the damage was done. I could feel the temperature in the room drop another couple degrees. "uh…" I started. I grabbed the closest bowl of food next to me and offered it to Heero. "Rice?"

"No thank you." He replied through clenched teeth.

Finally, Duo gave all of us our drinks, and sat down next to me. We were finally all seated, and sat there for a moment.

"You guys can eat, you know…" Quatre offered.

Immediately all hands went for the food.

It was a noisy process. I snapped at Duo for taking more than his fair share of chicken, while across from us Wufei was refusing Sally's offer to serve him while she served herself. Heero was still sneaking icy glances at me, which made me subconsciously scoot away from him a little bit, which resulted in me banging elbows with Duo more often. Damn it, I hate being left-handed sometimes… this sort of thing always happens. Duo shoved me away with his elbow as he ate, and I shoved back playfully. He waited a moment… then shoved me again just as I was about to take a bite of rice… causing it fall off the fork. I kicked him under the table.

"Ow!" he exclaimed. "Foul play!"

"Now, now children…" Noin said. "Play nice."

"You two are making me lose my appetite." Wufei scolded. He began to raise his fork to his mouth, but then Sally elbowed him, causing his food to fall back onto his plate. "WOMAN!"

Duo, Quatre and I started laughing, while Sally playfully fawned on him.

Wufei glared at me across the table. "I blame you! You're a bad influence!"

"Um… dude… isn't she OLDER than me?" I replied.

"Hey! I'm not old!" Sally shot back.

"… how old are you?" I asked curiously.

"My age is not important…" Sally started.

"Twenty-two." Noin answered. "We both are."

"Noin!"

"There's nothing to be ashamed of!" she replied, looking confused.

"Twenty-two?" I replied. Was that it? How come they look 24 in the series? Of course I couldn't say this. "You're worried about being twenty-two? What's the MATTER with you?"

"Yeah… so, um…" Noin started, changing the subject. "Do you have a dress for the Christmas party, Lynn?"

There was silence for a moment. I stared at her.

"Um… what?"

"The party? The Christmas party that Relena has invited all of us to?" Sally explained like it was the most obvious thing ever.

"Hm… that's funny… I was never informed of a party…" I stated coolly as I glared at Heero. I glanced up from his plate.

"Why are you glaring at _me?_" he demanded.

"You guys never _told_ her?" Sally exclaimed as she stared down the men at the table. It suddenly turned into a battle of the sexes. Noin, Sally and I glared at the men while they shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

"Um… we forgot?" Duo finally offered. I stared at him, my mouth open in shock.

"Forgot? You _forgot?_ Is that the best you can come up with?" I demanded.

"We were going to tell you, Lynn-" Quatre started.

"How the heck am I supposed to get a dress by _CHRISTMAS? _I still need to get you guys Christmas presents!"

"You're getting us… presents?" Heero asked, sounding a little surprised.

"Uh… yeah?" I replied.

"You don't have to do that…" Trowa offered.

"I want to." I snapped at him.

"I can buy your dress for you…" Quatre offered. Noin and Sally nodded in agreement, thinking this would solve this issue. But it wasn't what I was going for. I shook my head.

"I'm not going to let you spend your money on me, Quatre… no matter how much you have." I sighed heavily, and set my fork down. "Looks like I'll have to get a job right away. I'll get started on it tomorrow. Dessert anyone?"


	20. It was bound to happen

AN: W00t! Here's mah next chapter! I think now would be a good time to remind you… I did put this under the category of romance. wink wink nudge nudge Thanx for all the reviews, you guys! U make me so happy! BIG GROUP HUG

Chapter 20: It was bound to happen…

The good thing about where we live now is that there are lots of places to apply for a job. Since the college is right here and it's a busy neighborhood with the Sanq Palace not too far away, there are plenty of stores scattered around, and a huge shopping center a few blocks away. The other good thing is that places are hiring for two reasons: First off, it's the holiday season so they need the extra help. Second off, a lot of the workers are students, and they're quitting early due to finals and the end of school. I had managed to talk to a few people in passing, and as it turns out, a lot of the students are from colonies, and are going back home for the holidays. Imagine that. Just being able to go up into space and back down to Earth whenever it's convenient. Rich bastards…

I spent the next three days job searching, and generally collecting applications. I walked and took the bus system to and from every place while the guys were at work. When I told them what I was doing, they didn't seem too happy about it.

"Just because we're in the Sanq kingdom doesn't mean it's safe here." Trowa explained. "Just be careful."

"Yeah… you know we could just drive you when we're not working…" Duo offered.

I shook my head. "I don't want to waste any more time to get back up on my feet." I explained. "I'll be fine. Besides… if they want to get us badly enough, then they will. We already discovered that."

"Still…" Heero started. "You should be more careful."

"Lynn, aren't you worried about what could happen to you?" Quatre asked, his blue eyes scanning mine for some sort of a response.

I paused and looked at my hands. The brief image of that man holding me down in Quatre's room popped into my head. And then there was the other man who Heero had to kill. And then there was Matthew. "… I can't be scared forever…"

"It won't be forever." Heero explained. "This organization is temporary. We're going to bring them down."

I glanced up at him, feeling slightly insulted. "I'm not an idiot, Heero. I know this isn't going to be last group that'll go after you guys. And if I'm stuck here, then I'm stuck here with you. I'm not familiar with this world enough to be on my own yet. And even when I am on my own, I'll still be associated with you guys. I'll never be safe."

Finally, Trowa stood up from the couch. "I understand. All we want is for you to be careful, that's all."

"Hm…" Duo thought, tapping his chin in the process. "Maybe we should get you a cell phone or something so that you can call us in case you're in trouble."

"Hn… that's a good idea." Heero replied, sounding surprised. Duo beamed.

The next day I had a new cell phone. Shweet.

The interviews sucked. No one wanted to hire me. Why? Because I don't speak Japanese. And not only that… I can't READ Japanese. All of their computer programs and things like that were in Japanese. Everyone uses Japanese as their primary language instead of English. I was completely illiterate. Me. Illiterate. It was the strangest, most helpless feeling in the world.

Finally, however, my luck changed. It was when I was being interviewed for a job at a clothing store called The Wave. It was a general clothing store, for both men and women… a lot like the Gap back home, and located in the mall, which I found somewhat comforting, just because there are a lot of people around, and therefore less of a chance of being robbed. Or kidnapped.

"…So you don't speak any Japanese?" The lady asked me. I was so depressed and lost in my own thoughts, that I had forgotten her name. I glanced at her badge quickly. Stacy. Okay. Whatever, Stacy…

"No… but I am a very hard worker." I replied.

"I believe it… but you have to understand that a majority of our customers prefer to use Japanese." Her voice was almost scolding. Like it was all my fault. I wanted to choke her. I wanted to grab her clipboard and throw over the second floor balcony of the mall, straight into the fountain below us. I smiled to myself, indulging in the thought.

"Look… it's okay if I'm not working with people directly… but maybe I can work as a stock person? I may not look it, but I'm pretty strong, and I'd prefer assisting the customers indirectly by making sure the product is ready and available, in a timely and organized fashion." I finally said.

Woah. Where did THAT come from?

A smile lit up on her previously stern face. "That's exactly the sort of attitude that I was looking for in you. We'll go ahead and hire you as stock. And your availability…?"

"Whenever." I replied. "I'm not in school, so as many hours as you want to give me, I'll be glad to take."

"Excellent." She said, as she scribbled something down on my application. "Well, how about you start tomorrow then? We'll start showing you the ropes. I think you'll pick up on it pretty fast. Lucky for you, our computer program is in Japanese _AND_ English so you won't have any problems."

"…and that'll help me start to learn the language." I added with a smile. I was beginning to feel all happy and giddy inside. I can't believe I finally got a job!

"Okay… so come in tomorrow at 10 a.m. and we'll get you started. Since you're stock, you can come in casual wear, since you'll be lifting and unpacking boxes and organizing the merchandise and things like that."

"Okay, sounds good." I replied. "Thank you for hiring me."

Naturally, this experience was the first thing I talked about with the first person I saw when I got home. Which happened to be Trowa.

"I got hired today." I announced while he reclined on the couch, reading a book.

"Where?" he asked, still remaining in his reading position, book still in front of his face.

"The Wave…" I replied. "They're clothes are pretty decent. Regardless though, it's a job. I could have been hired as a janitor in a retirement home, and I would have taken it."

A soft deep chuckle came from his throat. Woah. Sexy. "Desperate?"

"Beggars can't be choosers." I quoted. "Besides, Christmas is fast approaching, and like I said, I need to get you guys' presents. Speaking of which, what would YOU want for Christmas?"

"That's not necessary. There is nothing you could offer me that I want." Trowa replied.

My jaw dropped. There was a moment of silence, and then I bit back, "Ouch." I stalked into the kitchen, and pulled out the usual Oreos and milk, which has recently turned into my current addiction, despite the glares I still receive from Heero every time he catches me.

I heard the squeak of the sofa from the living room, and then I heard his footsteps enter the kitchen. "You misunderstand me." he stated, and I turned around and stared him in the eye. Both eyes, actually, since he was so much taller than me. It was then that I took in his full appearance. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt and blue jeans, and he was barefoot… nothing special… but by the Gods, he looked damn sexy. You could practically FEEL the definition of his muscles through his shirt, just with your EYES. He was that delicious. I regained my composure, and looked back into his face, attempting to stand my ground. He continued to explain himself. "It's just that I am the type of person that doesn't need very much to get through in life. You know I've worked in a traveling circus for the most part. I don't need many possessions."

I finally grinned at him. "I think that's the most you've ever said to me, without being angry."

He actually looked a little surprised by this, as a brief look of confusion flashed in his green eyes. Then he stated, "I am a man of few words. I only speak when I feel the need to."

"Clearly…" I replied, as I dunked an Oreo, held it for the required ten seconds, and then ate it. It was then that I noticed he was holding his book in his hand. "What are you reading, anyway?"

"Shakespeare." He replied. I looked up surprised.

"You read Shakespeare?" I asked. Wow… talk about old memories…flashes of my high school English class flashed in my brain.

He nodded. "Why does that surprise you?"

I shrugged, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I knew that I had just been caught on making an assumption, which I hate. "I dunno... it's just that… well… Shakespeare is really old, that's all… I didn't think you guys still read it."

He quirked an eyebrow at me, a slight grin starting to play at the corner of his mouth. "Hn… well, if I'm not mistaken, people from your time…er… world… still read Plato, Socrates, and Homer, right?"

I shifted a little. "Well, yeah…"

"And those are thousands of years old, are they not?"

"Yeah…"

"So it shouldn't be that surprising."

"I guess not."

Trowa: 1 Lynn: 0

Ouch. My self-esteem. I downed my glass of milk in three big gulps.

"So which Shakespeare book are you reading?" I asked, as I rinsed out my empty glass and put away the cookies.

"Macbeth. Do you know it?" he asked.

"Well… I've heard of it…" I replied. "I never had to read it in school though. My favorite is 'As You Like It.'"

"What else have you read?"

"That's Shakespeare?" I replied, and he nodded. I thought to myself for a moment, and then laughed nervously, scratching my nose. "Uh… err… that's it, actually. I never really had to read a lot of Shakespeare in school, surprisingly enough."

"Not even Romeo and Juliet?" he asked, sounding a little surprised, and mildly disappointed.

"Nope… but I did see the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio…"

"…who?"

"Uh… never mind."

Yikes.

Still, for the rest of that day, I felt like I had accomplished the greatest feat in the world. I had an actual conversation with Trowa Barton. And somehow… Hell hasn't frozen over. Amazing.

I actually enjoyed work. I like doing physical labor, plus I get to listen to the radio in the stock room and not have to deal with customers… It's nice. They show me a few things, leave me to do it, and then come back a little while later to check up on me. And I'm a fast learner. Yay.

Paychecks are given weekly, which made me VERY happy. I opened my own bank account with my new I.D. and my first paycheck. It wasn't very much money… and I had to adapt to the new currency. Since this IS the future, there is only one form of currency for everyone on Earth and the colonies. It makes life easier for everyone. The bad thing is… it's totally foreign to me. It took me an entire night of staying up with an exhausted Duo trying to explain it to me to the point of memorization, until an annoyed, sleep-deprived Quatre came out, shoved Duo aside, and explained it to me in lame man's terms, writing it down for me, with plenty of precision.

"There, you see?" I shot at Duo. "Why couldn't you explain it like THAT?"

"I DID!" he protested.

"Did not…"I huffed as I crossed my arms in stubbornness. "You kept backtracking and stuff and it was confusing!"

"Duo just isn't as strategic as I am." Quatre explained as he yawned, stretching his arms above his head (which conveniently caused his shirt to raise up as well, exposing his pale-but-oh-so-nicely-toned stomach.) "Now, goodnight you two. I'm going back to bed. And for God's sake, keep the noise down."

"We love you Quatre…" I called after him sweetly as he walked back to his and Trowa's room.

Time seemed to be flying by a lot faster now that I was keeping myself busy with work. And fast wasn't what I was going for. I still hadn't done any Christmas shopping, and I still hadn't looked for a dress. I had two weeks worth of salary sitting my bank account, which I refused to touch, lest it all vanish into a puff of smoke, and then I wake up and find out it was all a dream. If there's one thing I love, it's independence. And having my own income helped me achieve that IMMENSELY.

So, December finally came, and the snow fell harder and more often, and the days were short. I helped my store put up the holiday decorations, and I could already feel the warmth of the holiday spirit inside my chest. Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, and winter has always been my favorite season. And on top of that, every time I approach the holiday season, I want to listen to Jazz. It's like the two are made for each other. I always picture myself dancing to a jazz song in the snow, right outside a café with Christmas lights. If there's one thing I would love to learn, it would be how to swing dance.

Dance. Dancing… party… THE party! Oh my God! I don't know how to do any social dances! What if it's going to be all professional? It IS Relena who's hosting it, after all… what if I have to waltz? I don't know how! Crap!

Therefore in my franticness, I decided to stop by the college Library after work and find a book on dance steps.

I took it home that night and read it before I went to bed.

The next day was my day off, so I began to practice while no one was home. I stood in my bedroom, with the only patch of open space at the end of my bed, and looked over the book I had borrowed. It had pictures of footprints to give you an idea how to move your feet, so I began to try and imitate it. How pathetic. I felt like a total dork, dancing there, by myself, with no music, in my sweatpants. Ah-ha! Music! The one necessary element I was lacking…

But do I have any music to waltz to? No. Of course not. Why would I? I flipped through my CDs that I had, trying to think if I had anything with a ¾ tempo. Finally it dawned on me. I had a few songs from the French film 'Amelie'… Maybe I could use those…? It also had some jazz on the same CD, so I found it awfully convenient.

I put the CD in my CD player and skipped a few songs until I found the one I was looking for. It was called La Moulin… it was the only song who's title I could remember since it was all French. It was a solemn piece, but it was one of my favorites (it's that bittersweet thing again.)

I kept trying to practice with it, repeating the song over and over again, and feeling just downright stupid trying to learn to dance. I could be a logical person and ask one of the guys to help, like Quatre or Duo… but I'd rather humiliate myself in private, thank you very much.

But there's no such thing as privacy… especially in a house full of men. I should have known that… especially when you include the fact that I had ingeniously left my door open to the hallway. Sometimes I wonder if my subconscious is playing tricks on me. I had my back to my door as I was trying to shamefully complete one of the turns that the book said I could do (with retarded pictures for the steps… who the hell can really move their feet that way?), when Heero's voice made me nearly jump out of my skin.

"You're doing it wrong."

I spun around, and immediately I felt a blush literally cover my entire body. Was it just me, or was the room feeling quite stuffy…? He stood there in his Preventer's jacket, leaning against my doorframe like a smug bastard, while my Amelie music continued to play pathetically in the background.

"How long have you been standing there?" I demanded, my hands balling into fists.

"Long enough to see that you don't know how to dance." Heero replied, a small smirk starting to show on his lips.

I huffed indignantly at him. "Well, I'm sorry Mr. I'm-So-Perfect. I've never had any REASON to know how to waltz, and now that Relena's party is coming up, I figured I had better learn. YOU try learning from a book; it's not easy I tell you. Have you SEEN the pictures they give you? Besides," I said, as I put my hands on my hips. "why the heck are you watching me in my room, anyway?"

He stood up from his leaning position, and turned towards the living room. "Come on." He ordered.

"Huh?"

"If you're going to learn how to dance you might as well do it right. You'll need to know at the party, and it's better if you have a dance partner."

…………

Heero's going to teach me how to dance?

I didn't think it was possible, but I began to blush even harder. I couldn't even come up with a witty comeback. I took my CD and followed him into the living room. I watched as he moved the furniture aside, and then he took my CD and put it into the stereo. "What track?" he asked monotonously.

"Um… four…" I replied, as my bare toes fiddled with the rug.

The song started again, its melody filling the living room. He removed his jacket and threw it onto the couch. Then he stepped towards me, and took me by my arm, positioning me in the middle of the open space. He stood in front of me, and began his instruction. "The waltz has a three-step beat to it." He explained. "The first step you take is a step back with your right foot." I did as he said, and he stepped forward with his left foot. "Then for the second and third count, you bring your left foot back towards your right and then move it left in one fluid motion. Then you follow with your right foot, until you're in a normal standing position." I began to bring my foot back, but paused, already confused.

"Wait… what?" I asked, as I stared at our feet.

He left his position in front of me, and stood to my left, and walked me through the basic steps through imitation, until I finally got the gist of it. So, I could now dance in a box. Yay. "It's sort of like chess." I said, trying to find a way to have it make sense to me. "It's like you make the sort of move that the Knight does."

"In loose terms, yes." Heero replied. "Now we'll try this again, and this time I'll be in front of you. Don't try to imitate my steps, or you'll get confused, since I step with the opposite feet."

I nodded, and he stood in front of me, and we did the basic box steps.

"good." He stated. "Now we're going to use our upper bodies. Your right hand goes into my left, and my right hand will go around to your left shoulder blade. Your left arm will rest on top of my right arm, like this." He positioned our arms into their correct positions, the warmth of his body coming through his shirt, causing my skin to tingle. I kept my head tilted down, keeping an eye on my feet. "I lead, so you have to pay attention to how I use my body to move you."

Oh my God. Sexual innuendo. Did he even realize? I had to bit my tongue to not say anything about it.

It went unnoticed by him. "You have to keep your body tense; otherwise it makes it more difficult for your dance partner to lead you. Let's try."

So we did. It wasn't too bad. I'm a perfectionist whenever it comes to learning anything, so despite how distracting Heero's sexiness was, I forced myself to pay attention.

We practiced for a little longer, until Heero determined that the others would be coming home soon. So we moved the furniture back, and I went into my room to do absolutely nothing. Once I closed the door, I fell on top of my bed, and just thought about what had happened.

I could still feel Heero's warmth on my fingertips. And I could still smell his scent… a mix of musk and what I could distinctly label as gunpowder (I remember the smell from when my father used to take me shooting as a child) probably just from his profession and from him cleaning his guns every so often. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. And still, something small deep down inside me… but with great power… skipped a little.

Heero continually 'trained' me in the art of waltzing whenever we could find the alone time. The more time I spent with him, the more I thought about him afterwards and the harder it was to STOP thinking about him.

I wasn't even able to fully come to terms with what was going on inside me until I was out browsing through the mall with Quatre, a week before the big event. "Do you have a dress yet for the party?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I haven't even had time to shop. Besides, I don't know what I should wear. Is it going to be formal?"

"Yeah..." Quatre replied.

"What are you going to wear?" I asked him.

He turned a little pink, as he looked away into one of the store windows we were walking by. "A white tuxedo with a light blue shirt."

I gave a fake gasp. "Why, Quatre! No pink and purple? What's the matter with you?"

He looked at me, and gave me a not-so-amused smirk. "Ha. Ha." He said. He spotted one of the stores we were approaching, and suddenly took my hand. "Let's go in here." he said.

I looked at where he was heading, and I could see the elegant dresses on the mannequins. I groaned inwardly to myself, but didn't fight it. I'd have to get it done some time… and I should get it now before they're selection sells out for the holidays.

I know I always say I'm tomboyish… which, in nature, I am, regardless of how I dress. I don't act like a lady at all. But I've loved dress-up ever since I was five, way back when I would dress up in my mom's fancy clothes. Many embarrassing photos, let me tell you. So when I entered the store, my brain immediately started pointing out the ones I liked.

I picked up the tag of one particular dress, and gaped at the price. Then I went to another. And another… they were all a little too expensive for me. I turned to Quatre who was also looking around, completely not intimidated by his surroundings. "I can't shop here." I stated. "It's too expensive."

"I guess I never told you…" he smiled at me. "But I'm buying your dress for you."

"What?" I protested. "Quaaattrreee…!"

He shook his head, refusing my refusal. "Lynn, I want to. Think of it as an early Christmas present."

I eyed him carefully. "You'd be spending way more on me than I would want you to."

"If you don't let me cover the cost of whatever dress you choose in here, then I'll just have to buy you something more expensive for Christmas…"

I narrowed my eyes at him, mulling the idea over in my head repeatedly. Damn him. "Fine. But ONLY if this is what you'll get me for Christmas. I don't want you to get me ANYTHING ELSE, okay?"

He grinned his boyish grin. "Deal." He replied. As I walked around the store selecting the dresses that I liked, he continued to smirk in success, and I continued to glare at him.

As I tried on the different dresses, we talked through the curtain that separated us.

"Are you going to dance at the party, Quatre?" I asked, as I struggled with the zipper of one dress. No. So not happening. I took the garment off and put it back onto the hanger.

"Yes, are you?" Quatre replied. "A lot of it will be formal dance, you know."

"Uh… yeah." I replied. "About that. Ever heard of a wallflower?"

"Lynn, don't you know how to dance?" he replied, sounding surprised.

"Well… um… not really…" I replied, glad that I was hiding behind a curtain.

"Well, you should have said so! I could teach you…" he offered.

I was quiet for a moment, contemplating on telling him the truth, as I slipped on another dress. I poked my head outside of the curtain and saw him sitting in a chair, flipping through a magazine. "Okay…" I started. "Can you keep a secret?"

He looked up and made eye contact, and I knew I had piqued his interest. He nodded. "Of course, Lynn."

"Okay…"I took a breath, still hiding behind the curtain. "Heero's been teaching me how to waltz whenever we have the free time."

"… really?" Quatre replied. I nodded, and he started getting this really big smile on his face. It was uncannily similar to one of Duo's not-so-innocent smiles. "Why, Lynn… you're blushing…"

"What?" I shot back. "No I'm not!"

"Yes you are…" he replied. There was a pause, and then he leaned closer to me. "You like Heero, don't you?"

"Wha-!" I stuttered. "N-no! Don't be ridiculous! I just wanted to tell you that he's been teaching me how to dance!"

"Yeah… then why did you want it to be a secret?" he asked, as he crossed his arms, his blonde bangs falling into his face as he cocked his head at me.

"Because I didn't want it to become a big deal, you know? I don't think he's forgiven me for that cookie incident!"

"Hm… good point. But you still have a crush on him."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Do not."

Quatre laughed softly and shook his head. "Don't worry, Lynn. I won't tell anyone."

"Damn it, you can be as bad as Duo sometimes." I scolded. "I swear, I think you two might be hanging out together a little too much."

Quatre, on the other hand, changed the subject. "Why are you hiding behind the curtain, anyway?"

I didn't realize I was still doing that… I was probably using the curtain as a pitiful defense against Quatre's accusations. "Oh… sorry." I moved the curtain away and stepped out.

He was silent for a moment, and just stared at me. "Wow…" he finally said. "That's really beautiful."

I turned and looked in the three-way mirror. He was right. It was a beautiful dress. I fell in love with it immediately. It was midnight blue and strapless with a second layer of sheer glittering blue fabric gathered at the chest. The torso was very sturdy, so that it could stay up without the assistance of straps, allowing for the back to dip down, exposing the flesh. At the bottom of the back, right above my butt, more of the sheer glittering fabric gathered in the same style as it did on my chest, and fanned out into a beautiful train that ended at the same length as the dress: the floor. To top it off, it had the same long glittering gossamer fabric draped in a long loop from where my arms were on the dress, so when I raised my arms, the cloth opened up, giving it sort of a caped/winged effect.

"Quatre…" I said finally. "I think I found my dress."

"I agree." He replied.

Still… as interested as I was in the dress, my attention seemed to be leaning elsewhere, on a certain stern-faced, blue-eyed man, and Quatre's words hanging over my head like a comic bubble. And as much as I would like to deny it, I know myself too well. Denial never works on me. I was smitten.


	21. Party Time!

**AN: **OMGZ… scary! This is my THIRD update in the SAME month! dies Hell has frozen over. It's UNHEARD OF for this to happen with me! I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed, faved, and placed my story on their alerts list. My last chapter received 24 reviews, which makes it my most reviewed chapter which just makes my DAY! Thank you EVERYONE for your love and dedication! I have… counts three chapters left after this one, plus an epilogue… so… YAY! We're almost there! Or… not yay… cuz it'd be the end… but… yeah. Anyway… I have tons of twists and turns coming up from the point on, so… I hope you all enjoy the ride! (wink wink nudge nudge)

**Chapter 21: Party Time!**

The next couple of weeks came and went in a flash. I had somehow managed to get all of my Christmas shopping done, and I had them wrapped and ready. Then there was the uber-fun adventure of getting a Christmas tree, which Duo helped me with. It was a huge Douglas fir sitting in the corner of the living room, wonderfully decorated in multicolored and white lights, and colorful ornaments.

The process of decoration was an event in itself. I made up a new rule that everyone in the house must participate in it, which required Trowa and Heero to help. Trowa didn't really seem to mind, but Heero did. He would give the usual, "It's pointless" or "I have work to do." So I left him alone… with a plan in mind, of course. Once we had gotten everything decorated, all that was needed was the angel on top of the tree. 

"Okay, Heero… time to put the angel on the tree." I said.

He lay on the couch, reading a book and watching our antics as the rest of us decked out the house in the Holiday spirit. "Hn." he replied.

"C'mon, Heero. It's one measly little thing." Duo prodded.

"We DID do everything else…" Quatre commented, as Trowa nodded beside him.

He ignored us, and I put my hands on my hips, glaring at him. "Don't make me tickle you." I threatened.

"EH?" Duo exclaimed looking shocked. "Heero's ticklish?" 

"Who would've thought?" Trowa commented.

"I'm not ticklish." Heero said defensively as he lowered his book. "She's bluffing."

Quatre shook his head. "Heero, Heero… you have no idea how a woman works. You've just totally challenged her."

I cracked my knuckles in front of him. He raised his book back up to his face.

Oh, no he _didn't._

I shared a glance with Duo, who gave me a wink in agreement. I then literally hopped onto Heero who was still reclining on the length of the couch, and snatched his book out of his hands. "Hey!" he protested. Duo came up behind him and pinned his arms back, so he couldn't fight me.

And I started tickling his ribs. At first I didn't get a thing from him. Nothing. But his body kept… twitching. The way a body twitches when it's being tickled, and I knew… I didn't think it was possible… but Heero really WAS ticklish! Oh, the GLORY! A chorus of angels sang out victory in my head.

"Hey…" he protested, as he tried to writhe his body out from under me. He tried to use his legs to get me off, but then Quatre came up behind me and held his feet down for me, while Trowa watched in amusement. "Hey, hey!" He strained against Duo's iron hold, but it was to no avail.

"I'll give you a choice, Heero!" I said, as I continued to tickle him. "Either you have to finally start laughing, or you have to put the angel on the tree! Take your pick!"

I heard Trowa comment to the giggling Quatre, "She's good." 

"Okay, okay!" he finally shouted. "I'll put the damn angel on the tree!"

"Damn straight…" I replied. I got off of him to let him do his job, and Quatre and Duo let him go.

He didn't go for the tree. Instead, he came after me. I leaped away from him, just barely escaping his grasping fingers. "You dirty liar!" I shouted.

"Omae o korosu!" he shouted, as he chased me around the couch. He started to climb over the couch to cut me off, but Duo caught him and pulled him to the ground. I watched in fascination as they wrestled each other, while Quatre and Trowa stood off to the side, smirking and laughing. "I'm going to kill _both_ of you!" Heero threatened.

Meanwhile, Quatre was laughing so hard his face was turning pink. "I can't believe Heero's ticklish! Who would have known!"

"Yes." Trowa agreed. "You would think that with his training, that they would have had him get past that."

"Well it's not like when you're fighting an enemy, you have to worry about being tickled…" Quatre replied.

…Needless to say, it took a long while to finally get that angel on the tree, and in the end Heero wasn't even the one who did it. Sometimes Trowa is too sweet for his own good.

It was now Christmas Eve, the night of the party, and I stood in front of my mirror in my room, staring at my reflection. I had a towel wrapped around my damp body, and my hair was wet and framing my face. The contrast made my cheeks seem rosier than they actually were, and my hazel eyes stood out in the dim lighting of my room. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, as my mind recapped on yesterday's events.

_"It doesn't have to be perfect." Heero explained, as I walked myself through the steps for the fifth time that day. ___

_"I want it to be." I replied. "That's how I am. I want to be able to do it with my eyes closed." ___

_He gave a brief, curt nod. "Then let's do it one more time." ___

_Oh, yes. Let's. Sometimes I think my level of hentai thoughts would make even _Duo_ blush.___

_"What are you smirking at?" he demanded as we both stepped up to the plate and positioned our arms, our new waltzing music in the background of the living room. ___

_Damn. ___

_"Nothing…" I replied. Lie. Make something up. "I'm just excited about the party tomorrow." ___

_He pierced me with his icy eyes. Damn it. He didn't buy it. He probably thought I was still snickering over the Christmas tree incident. It had already taken me much apologizing to get him to not stop giving me dance lessons, just because I had tickled him. ___

_We started dancing, and I watched our feet to make sure neither of us would be losing any toes. Then I felt Heero's hand on my chin, and he tilted my head up to look at him. My breath caught in my throat. My body continued the dance steps, but my mind was somewhere else. "Don't look at your feet." He ordered. ___

_I couldn't bear to look him in the face any longer, so I looked just past his shoulder, staring at the surroundings of the living room that seemed to turn with us. In the meantime, my thoughts were going haywire, bouncing off the walls like a small rubber ball. Is he going to dance with me at the party? Maybe I should ask him… no. That'd be silly. I would like to reserve the last dance with him though… but he wouldn't want to. ___

_Yes, I was definitely in trouble. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't have had a problem asking them things like that. But… because it's Heero… and I've got this… this… _thing_ for him… I can't bring myself to open my mouth. To make the long story short, I was shy. ___

_The waltz ended a little too soon for my taste, and as Heero stepped away to end our last dance lesson, my heart took over before my brain could stop it. ___

_"Heero…!" I started. He paused from his usual process of moving the furniture back, and looked up at me. ___

_"Hn?" ___

_Just say it, Lynn… 'Will you dance the last dance with me?' c'mon! Just SAY it! ___

_"Um… I just wanted to thank you for doing this for me. You know… teaching me how to dance." I replied._

_He gave a curt, professional nod. "You're welcome."___

I'm such a c_hicken…__  
_  
I could feel the knot in my stomach, and I braced my hands on my small dresser. I looked at the dress laid out on my bed in the reflection of the mirror. I might as well do my hair first, and then get dressed. Making sure the towel was tied securely around my chest; I stepped into the bathroom to tackle the sopping mess that was on my head.

I could hear Duo's voice in the hall, muffled through the door. "I need to fix my hair real quick, okay Q?" There was an indistinguishable muffled response from Quatre on the other end of the house, and before I could either leap to the lock or leap back into my room, the God of Death himself stepped into the bathroom where I just happened to be.

Our eyes locked, and then his eyes traveled down the length of my body, finally landing on my legs… or my butt… I wasn't sure which. "_Ho_ly…"

"Duo!" I shouted, clutching my towel.

His eyes shot back up to my face. "Um…. BRUSH!" he shouted in response. A low menacing growl escaped my throat. I grabbed his brush from the drawer, and chucked at his head with as much force as possible, without my towel falling off in the process. 

"OW!" He stumbled back into the hall, and I slammed the bathroom door, locking it.

Why me? I know it was my fault for not locking the door (again)… and I_ had_ walked in on Duo a long time ago… but still… that's totally beside the point.

By the time I was ready to go, Quatre was the only one still left in the house. "Where is everyone?" I asked, as I slung my small black evening purse over my shoulder, and tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ears. I had somehow miraculously managed to get my hair up into a French Twist, and I could only pray it would stay together during the party.

"They're already there." Quatre replied, as he adjusted his white tie. "They were called in a little early to help pull everything together for Relena, and to make sure the security is up to par. Are you ready to go?"

"Indeed, I am." Quatre offered me his arm, which I took with a silly smirk and he led me to the car.

The party was being held in a reserved section of the Sanq Palace. As Quatre and I entered, the full-blast of the holiday season washed over me. Christmas lights coiled around the banister of the stairs, leading down to where the majority of the party was being held. It was a huge ballroom, with a beautiful marble dance floor. There were round decorated tables off to the side against the walls, with a buffet line on one end, and an orchestra set up on the other end. It was beautiful. There was an archway that opened up to a small balcony, which overlooked the beautiful view of the Kingdom.

"Wow…" I whispered.

I glanced at Quatre to smile at him, but I noticed he was frozen to the ground, his blue eyes wide open, staring at someone down below amongst the guests. His mouth was open slightly, clearly in shock. What the…? I followed his gaze down below, and realized with great relish, just _who_ he was staring at. 

Hilde Schbieker stood down below, talking merrily with a black-clad Duo, dressed in a long simple black dress that tied up behind her neck exposing her back. I glanced back at Quatre, who was now turning a nice shade of pink in the cheeks and ears, and I grinned. 

"Why, Quatre…" I commented. "What seems to be the problem?"

He wasn't even paying attention to me. A moment went by, and then he tore his eyes away from the woman below him, and looked at me. "Huh?"

"You're blushing."

Vengeance is sweet. Sweet like sugar. Sugar kisses.

Okay. That's enough 80's music references for tonight.

A strangled choke (which I'm assuming was meant to be a scoff) escaped his throat, and he looked away, the color in his face increasing. He started walking me down the wide steps, and as we did, I noticed that our closest friends noticed our arrival. Duo and Hilde stopped talking and looked up. A huge smile lit up Hilde's face when she saw Quatre, and waved at him amiably. Meanwhile the blonde next to me gave a sheepish smile, and a little wave back, his hand not even halfway up. Oh my God… how cute. I had to bite my lower lip to keep from laughing. It would be just plain cruel to embarrass him in front of his object of affection.

I looked at Duo to see his equally smirking reaction, but he wasn't paying any attention to them. Instead, his eyes were riveted on me, his mouth slightly open… in fact I was feeling a little bit of déjà vu. Didn't Quatre just have this same expression? However… the blush was missing. I figure I've just wowed him with my feminine wiles (a.k.a.: the dress of awesomeness). I looked away to quickly spot out everyone else that I knew.

Heero was by the archway to the balcony with Noin and Zechs, his eyes uncomfortably keen on mine and Quatre's entrance. I eyed the couple next to him, acknowledging Zech's slick grey suit that he wore, with Noin standing next to him in a taupe colored dress with red rose embroidery coiling across her body. I found Trowa sitting by the buffet at a small table with Wufei having a quiet conversation, both in simple black and white tuxedos. He glanced in my direction, and I could tell that the conversation stopped, because he didn't look away. Wufei… who looked mildly irritated, turned to see what the fuss was about, which… apparently… happened to be me and Quatre. I also spotted all the other familiar faces. Sally, Catherine, Une, and even Dorothy was there, talking to some random good-looking man (who didn't look the slightest bit intimidated by her pointy eyebrows of Doom, with a capital 'D'.)

I'm not sure which one everyone is gawking at. The exchange between Quatre and Hilde, or me and my dress. Or maybe even the way Duo was staring at me. Whatever the reason, it made me want to go find a nice comfy spot by the buffet. Just me and a butter roll, please.

As we reached the bottom of the stairs, Hilde went up to Quatre to give him a friendly hug hello, and Duo gave a low whistle, giving me a very obvious once-over. "Very nice," he stated with a grin. 

"Don't you start with me…" I warned teasingly.

"Hey, you should have locked the door!" Duo said defensively. "Besides, I'm not the ONLY one who made that mistake…"

"Um… excuse me?" Hilde commented, looking quite confused.

"Uh… it's nothin'…" Duo said, throwing in a light-hearted laugh. 

"Duo, with you, it's never 'nothing.'" Hilde shot back.

"Aye, aye…" I commented.

Quatre took this opportunity to speak. "Oh! Um… Lynn, this is Hilde Schbieker… and Hilde, this is Lynn Tinsley. She's my relative."

"Why thank you for introducing us, Quatre! That's so sweet of you!" Hilde commented as she patted him on the shoulder. Meanwhile she shot Duo an icy look.

The braided man caught it immediately. He put up his hands in defense. "Hey, I was gonna!"

"Sure you were…" I teased, nudging him in the ribs with my elbow. I turned back to Hilde. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise!" she smiled as we shook hands. "I like your dress, by the way."

"Oh thanks! Yours is great too!"

"Oh no… they're bonding…" Duo muttered. Quatre nodded his agreement.

"They're such gentleman…" I commented sardonically.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Hilde replied.

An applaud started to erupt from the crowd, and Hilde said, "Look! There's Relena!"

I turned my eyes to the stage where the orchestra sat, and finally saw the Vice Foreign Minister herself (my least favorite character in the series, apart from Treize). She was decked out in a long ivory and pink gown, which seemed a little too poofy for my taste. Her hair was brought up into the most picture-perfect bun I had ever seen, while pearls shone off of her neck and ears. If I didn't remember how crazy she was during the series, then I could say that she's actually quite an attractive person. But I felt the old feelings creeping back up, and it made my skin crawl.

And really, I shouldn't have this sort of biased reaction. It was a long time ago, and she even seemed more grown up in Endless Waltz, much to my chagrin. Still, old habits are hard to break, and getting over my disdain for the ex-Queen-of-the-World would be easier said than done.

As if on instinct, I glanced over at Heero, who was still leaning casually against they archway, his arms crossed over his black tux and blue shirt, looking as cool as ever as he watched her. I was too far away to see the look in his eyes that would give away the deciding factor if I should consider Miss Peacecraft a rival or not. I looked back at the stage, before Heero (or anyone else) could notice that I was staring at him. I glanced at my friends, to see their eyes fixated on the woman standing before them, while she gave one of her hefty speeches, which was only meant to be an introductory 'thank you for coming tonight.'

After she was done and had stepped down from the small stage, a group of people flocked to her side, every one of them trying to get the first word in. The orchestra struck up a polite, classical background melody to help ease the mood. I noticed old familiar faces, like her old friends from the early episodes. And somewhere amongst the heads, I could have sworn I saw her mother (who happened to fall off of the face of the Earth during the series.) There were a number of older people there… I'm guessing politicians and representatives of this-and-that corporation. I didn't realize how out of it I was, until I felt Duo's hand on my lower back, the warmth sending shivers up my spine. "Let's get a table." He suggested, his voice oddly close to my ear. I nodded, and we both started to walk towards the buffet, with Quatre and Hilde following us. We snatched a table right next to Wufei and Trowa.

"Hey, guys!" Duo said. "What'd you think of the speech?" 

"Predictable." Wufei commented.

"Basic." Trowa added.

"Yeah, she did look a bit tired." Quatre commented, as he took off his white coat and draped it over his chair. He pulled out a chair for Hilde, who took it gratefully, pushing it in for her slightly as she sat down. It was then that I noticed Duo was holding a chair out for me, waiting for me to take my seat. So he _can_ be a gentleman…. when he wants to be. Interesting. I immediately began to tune out the conversation going on around me. I don't usually do the whole "social" thing. So whenever there comes a time that I'm in this sort of an environment, I end up having nothing interesting to say. I hate small talk. And that's the foundation of these sorts of parties. Instead, I kept watching everyone. Relena had finally been able to pry herself away from her 'devoted fans,' and found Heero standing by himself, off in the shadows. I watched as they talked, curious as to what they were saying. My mind started to make up dialogue for them, and with my mind being the way it was, it started popping out some random funny stuff. I had to stifle my giggles to myself. I watched as Relena said something to Heero, smiling. My mind improvised. 'So what have you been up to?' she would say… I watched as Heero gave her a brief response. 'Masturbating.' Hahaha… wow. I need to get a life.

I looked back at my friends, listening to their conversation. It wasn't too long before Heero and Relena showed up and took a couple of the seats at Wufei and Trowa's table, with Relena already attached to Heero's arm. What was worse was that he didn't really seem to mind. I could feel a heat wave of jealously wash over me. Heero made eye contact with me as they sat down, and I looked away, afraid that the agitation in my face would show.

"I'm hungry…" I finally commented out of the blue. And I was, too. This dress may be a bit snug, but I could feel the hunger pains starting. And it was a little bonus that going to the buffet would get me away from the Heero and Relena proximity. I could almost see the dreamy rose stamps and sparkles around them. Okay. Maybe a slight exaggeration. But I'm entitled.

"Me too," Duo commented. "Let's get some food. How about you guys?"

"I can definitely eat," Hilde said. "That flight in was long and boring, and their food was terrible."

"I'll eat too." Quatre said, as he stood up.

Our table walked to the buffet together while our friends at the table next to us talked a little bit more. I grabbed a plate and filled it with a baked potato, a bread roll, and a few nice slices of ham. I watched Duo in front of me as he piled one thing after another onto his plate, and I couldn't help but laugh at him. "You eat like my brother." I commented.

"I'm a growing man, what I can say?" he replied, as we walked back to our table, while Quatre and Hilde still picked out a few more things to eat.

"Yeah… growing _sideways_…" I teased. His only response was to take a vicious bite out of his roll, his cheeks puffed out from so much food. "You look like a chipmunk." I teased.

He swallowed his bite, and pouted. "Man. That's _so _not what I was going for. I was thinking something along the lines of… _vicious caveman_."

"That was next on my list." I replied with a smirk.

As we sat down at our table, I noticed Relena and Heero stand up. They walked the few short steps to us, and Heero motioned to me with his hand. "Relena, this is Lynn Tinsley, Quatre's second cousin. Lynn, this is Relena Peacecraft, Vice Foreign Minister of ESUN."

My stomach turned itself inside out, and I no longer felt very hungry, as Relena smiled kindly to me and offered her hand. I took it and shook it, slightly surprised at how delicate it felt. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said.

"Likewise," I replied, as I secretly assessed her.

"Are you enjoying the party so far?" she asked politely.

I nodded. "The decorations are beautiful, the music is good, and best of all I am in the company of my friends." I glanced at my table for emphasis. "Thank you for letting me come along." 

"The pleasure is mine! Any friend of Heero's is a friend of mine." she explained.

At this point, Duo intervened. "Yo! Relena! How have you been?"

Relena smiled at him. "Very well, thank you."

"How're the higher-ups treating you? Have you been getting your vacations like I keep telling you, you should have?"

Relena chuckled at him. "You haven't changed at all, have you Duo?"

Duo playfully scoffed at her. "I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult!"

"To answer your question Miss Peacecraft, no he hasn't." Hilde said with a smile, as her and Quatre sat down.

"Hilde to my rescue, as always…" Duo commented wryly.

Relena didn't stay very long. She caught sight of her brother with Noin, and went to go say hello to them. Heero stayed behind and went back to the table with Wufei and Trowa. I watched carefully as his eyes lingered on her retreating form before sitting down.

Damn it.

We sat and ate, laughing and talking, all the while my attention constantly being riveted back to the Heero and Relena issue at-hand. My brain has a tendency to over-analyze every little detail. Like that lingering look. Was that a look of simple caring friendship? Or was it soldier-protectiveness? Or was it something more? It made my insides squirm and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I had a strong feeling I wouldn't be dancing with Heero tonight.

And on top of that, Relena actually seemed like a decent person, as much as I would hate to admit that, although she did still clearly have a one-track mind when it came to Heero.

Double damn it.

My ears picked up on the orchestra playing a waltz, and I watched as a number of couples entered the open dance floor. I watched as Relena danced the first dance with her brother, while Noin stayed off to the side, watching the sibling bonding with a twinkle of affection in her eyes.

I looked back at our table and watched Quatre shift uncomfortably in his seat, sneaking glances at Hilde. I knew what this meant. I nudged him with my foot under the table. He turned and looked at me. I gave a small motion with my head towards Hilde, which clearly stated 'go for it!' He visibly paled a feat I didn't think was possible, and gave the very faintest shake of his head. Meanwhile, Hilde made comments of her own.

"Look at how well everyone dances!" she said, her face practically glowing with excitement.

Oh, come on… what more of an incentive does the blonde need? I gave him a harsher kick under the table, and a look that clearly stated, 'if you don't go, then I'll keep kicking you.'

I watched as he held his breath for a moment, and then stood up from his seat, offering his hand to Hilde. "Would you care to dance, Miss Hilde?"

"Why Quatre, I would love to!" she beamed, taking his hand. I watched with pride as they both went out onto the dance floor. 

"Good job," Duo commented. "I've been trying to get those two together for ages."

I laughed at him. "Really?"

He nodded. "Oh, yeah… he's liked her ever since he first met her."

"What about her?" I asked, as I watched them glide across the floor. 

"She likes him too… although she'll never admit it to me…" Duo replied. "What's even worse is that she knows he likes her."

"Then why don't they just hook up already?" I asked.

"Quatre's too shy… and a little clueless. And as for her, she's not used to men like Quatre…" Duo explained. "He's attractive, charming, rich… and at the same time a rebel, what with the whole gundam pilot thing. She's only had to deal with soldiers, you know? Not gentleman."

"He's a soldier, too…" I pointed out.

"Well, 'terrorist' would be a more correct label for us… we were never part of an army. But he's a bit of a unique case, if you haven't noticed…" he chuckled. "So how about it?"

I took my eyes away from them, as a new waltz number started up. "huh?"

"Are you ready to go out there?" he motioned with his head towards the dance floor.

I could feel the blush creeping up onto my skin. "Um… I dunno…"

"I'll take that as a yes! C'mon!" And before I could protest, Duo had pulled me out onto the floor.

"Duo! Do you even _know_ how to waltz?" I demanded, as he found an open spot in the middle of the dance floor.

"What! Of course I do! I had to do tons of undercover operations that required some dancing!" he shot back.

He put his arm around my waist and held my right hand in his left, and began to lead me through the steps, my body automatically responding, my steps lining up with his.

He was a damn good dancer. I had no idea. His hold was strong… Heero's was strong too, but it was different. Duo's seemed more… personal, I suppose. The way he danced was a little different. It had just a little bit more attitude in it, a little bit more flourish. Heero was all about technique and getting the steps down to perfection, whereas Duo threw in a little bit of enjoyment to go with it.

"Heero's been teaching you how to dance, hasn't he?" Duo commented with a grin.

"What!" I shot back. "How did you know!"

"You dance like him!" he chuckled.

I started laughing. "Why, Duo… you've danced with Heero? Had I known you were the type…"

"Ha, ha…" Duo shot back. "Ever heard of observational learning?"

"Don't worry I won't tell anyone…" I continued to tease.

The music picked up and Duo, without warning, quickened his pace. "Hey!" I protested, as he moved me across the dance floor.

"If you learned from Heero, then you should be able to keep up…" Duo challenged.

I glowered at him playfully, and watched over his shoulder as our surroundings flew by us. I caught a number of our friends on the dance floor. Quatre and Hilde were still dancing, and I saw Zechs and Noin dancing as well… And… Trowa and… Sally? Dancing together? Who would've guessed! Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught Heero and Relena dancing. In that instant, I caught it… the look in Heero's eyes, the light inside them as he looked at her. He wasn't smiling, but I could tell that he wanted to.

I don't know to what extent he cares for her… but the fact couldn't be denied. He felt something. I felt my heart plummet. Talk about a mood killer.

I no longer felt like dancing. I was about to tell Duo that, when a jazzy Christmas melody rang up.

"Can you swing dance?" Duo asked me. I stared at him, shocked. 

"Um… no?" I replied.

"Great! I get to teach you!" he exclaimed, his violet eyes displaying his excitement. "Just try and follow my lead."

He wasn't REALLY teaching me. It was more like 'learn from imitation and try to guess what the next move is.' Still, it was a LOT of fun. Like I said… I love jazz, and I love dancing. Take those two and mix in a little bit of Duo, and you've got one heck of an experience. So even though the pain of my realization was eating away at me, I still managed to enjoy myself.

And like I said… Duo is a great dancer.

The party continued on into the night, everyone dancing with everyone. I got to dance with Quatre while Hilde and Duo danced together, and I watched as Trowa danced with Relena, while Heero danced with Dorothy, and Wufei danced with Sally. At one point I even got to dance with Sexy Zechsy (compliments of Duo intentionally dancing with Noin, therefore handing me over to the Sex-God in the process.) Now how's that for a damn good evening? However, through most of the night, Duo was my dance partner… my psuedo-date for the evening, and I always seemed to have the most fun when I was spending time with him. There was something about the way he looked, the way he laughed and the way he danced that just made me feel relaxed. 

And still, I never danced with Heero. Not once. I could just feel the minutes ticking by, counting the songs that had come and gone, every time thinking, 'That's one more song that I haven't danced with him, and one more song that brings us closer to the end of the evening.' In the meantime, Relena got to spend a lot of her dancing time with my object of affection, which was just sooo aggravating.

I was beginning to feel very depressed the closer we got to the end of the evening. Another jazz song began to play, and I recognized it immediately. It was nie to hear something so familiar, so… timeless. It was truly a classic. Sinatra's 'Christmas Waltz' began to play, and I smiled as I began to dance the slow waltz with Duo. I began to sing along. "It's the time of year when the world falls in love, every song you hear seems to say… Merry Christmas, may your new years dreams come true…"

"And this song of mine in three quarter time wishes you and yours the same thing too…" Duo sang along.

I grinned. "You know this song?"

"Howard likes all the old stuff." Duo explained. "So I know a few songs. I'm surprised they're playing it, actually."

"You and me both…" I replied.

He continued to sing, his voice washing over me. Wow. And I do mean WOW. "You have a great voice…" I complimented. He held me closer and grinned as we danced through the song. 

Finally, when the song ended, I decided to sit down and rest my feet which happened to be screaming in my open-toed heels. Duo sat down with me, but was then consequently pulled up by Sally to go dance, while Wufei sat at the table. I watched as they danced for a little bit, and then my eyes betrayingly sought out Heero, who… go figure… was dancing with Relena. Again. It was a slow song, and as they danced, I watched as she flirted with him. I could tell she was talking professionally, but her actions gave her away. She had her hands around his neck while she talked with her fingers in his hair. He looked a bit uncomfortable, but did not make any attempt to put more distance between them, and kept looking over her shoulder instead of into her eyes while he responded to her. It was the final twist, and I needed to leave before I let my emotions show.

I stood up and walked outside to the balcony where Quatre and Hilde were standing, leaning over the banister and talking. I hadn't even noticed they were gone. They turned around at my entrance, and I paused in my steps, the echo of my heels on the stone bouncing off into the night. "Sorry," I said immediately. "I'll come back later." I turned to leave, but Hilde's voice stopped me.

"Don't worry about it! We were about to go in anyway." she exclaimed, took the blonde by the hand, and began to walk back.

As soon as they reached the archway, Duo's distinct voice shouted, "Mistletoe!"

I turned and looked at him, confused, and noticed him pointing above the archway. I looked up, and sure enough, there was a hanging mistletoe, cleverly disguised by its fellow holiday decorations. 

"You guys have to kiss!" Duo announced, his finger now pointed at the stunned couple.

"W-what!" Quatre protested.

"He's right… it's tradition…" Trowa said, as he paused in his dancing with Catherine, a unique smirk on his lips.

Quatre stared at them, appalled. 'Tomboy' Hilde was blushing crimson next to him. Finally she spoke just loud enough for my ears to catch, "Well… might as well. Otherwise Duo will NEVER leave us alone."

"What!" Quatre started. "He wouldn't leave us alone anyway!" 

"Don't you find her attractive enough to kiss her, Q-man?" Duo prodded. Oh, what a dirty trick!

Quatre glared at him. "Don't you even _start_ that."

"How about Hilde kisses Quatre on the cheek?" Catherine offered, trying to come to their rescue.

"I can do that…" Hilde said, as she tapped her chin thoughtfully. She turned to Quatre, who turned a deep shade of crimson. "It'll be really fast, I promise!"

Hilde closed her eyes to prepare herself for the event, and started to lean in. Quatre glanced at me for help, as I watched the whole spectacle. I grinned and mouthed to him, 'go for it!' 

He went for it, alright. He turned back to look at her as she was leaning in, glanced up at the ceiling as if briefly cursing the fates. Then he grabbed her by her shoulders and kissed her square on the mouth. In front of everyone. A great gasp came from everyone, and all of our friends stopped in their tracks as the music played on.

Her eyes flew open in shock, and Quatre pulled away, looking terrified. I could see the look on his face. It clearly stated, 'what have I done!' But before he could make the decision to go run off and hide in a corner, Hilde grabbed his face in her hands and planted the second kiss of the evening right onto his shocked lips. I watched, feeling overwhelming happiness for them and envy at the same time, as Quatre put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. 

A great unwavering cheer erupted, Duo's being the loudest. "It's about DAMN time!" he added. The two pulled away from their embrace, blushing profusely.

"Not bad…" I heard Hilde say, earning a few good laughs from the audience, and a nervous laugh from Quatre himself.

While everyone else talked, I watched in bemusement as Wufei pulled over a chair and managed to take the mistletoe down.

"Hey!" Duo protested.

"There's no way in hell I'm going to get caught underneath this thing." Wufei stated.

"Scrooge!" Sally called out accusingly.

I watched as they walked away and everyone else either returned to dancing or flocked around them to talk to them. Once I was sure no one was paying attention to me, I turned around and peered out across the cityscape. The city lights sparkled, as if they were in contest with the stars above, bright and truly beautiful. There were a couple of empty chairs near me on the balcony, so I sat in one, and just stared out into the night as the evening wore on. The cold helped calm my nerves a little bit, although I couldn't help but dwell on the desires I had in me that wouldn't leave me alone. I wish I could kiss Heero the way that Quatre had kissed Hilde. And it wasn't until I witnessed that, along with Heero's interactions with Relena, that I've realized how lonely I really am here. It was Christmas Eve, and I didn't have anyone special. Yes, I had friends, and I love them dearly… but it's not the same. On top of that, this is my first Christmas without my family. And it's not by choice. I stared up into the night sky and wished them a silent merry Christmas, as I felt my heartstrings tie themselves into a painful knot that seemed to lodge itself in my throat.

I don't know how long I sat there, as the music played on, and the people danced. It was a little while later when I heard footsteps come out onto the balcony. I turned to see who it was, only to see that it was Heero of all people. He walked all the way to the banister and stared out over the balcony for a moment before turning to me.

"Have you been out here the whole time?" He asked.

I nodded, and looked back out at the city. "Where's Relena?" I asked casually.

"She had to leave. She has a lot of work to do tomorrow, so she needs to rest." he explained.

"Work? It's Christmas tomorrow. You'd think she'd get the day off."

"She does have the day off. But she's still using it to get work done." he explained. "She's very diligent."

"Apparently." I replied. "Is the party over then?"

"Almost…" he replied. "A lot of people have gone home. They're mostly sitting around talking now."

"Did you have fun tonight?" I asked.

"Hn…" was his response, and I took it as a yes.

I could feel that knot in my throat again, and I cleared my throat to try and rid myself of it. After sitting out here for a while in my own self-pity, the idea of being near him right now just hurt way too much. I stood. "I'm going to go inside."

I began to walk back towards the archway, when Heero's voice stopped me. "What were you _really _going to ask me yesterday?" 

I turned to look at him, as he leaned against the banister, his back to me, still looking out across the night. I was shocked. How did he know? I turned back towards the archway so he wouldn't see my reaction. I watched my friends sit around and talk, Hilde and Quatre sitting awfully close together since the events of the evening. Duo had somehow managed to get the mistletoe that Wufei had removed, and had it tied to a long stick that he must have found outside. I watched from a distance as he made it dance over people's heads, until Wufei got fed up and managed to snatch it from his hands. The words fell from my mouth before I could stop them. Again. "I was going to ask to dance the last dance with you." Then I added on quickly with a laugh, "But don't worry. The party's almost over anyway, and I was just being silly."

I began to walk back inside, when his hand caught my arm. I turned and looked at him, surprised. "All you had to do was ask." he stated.

He led me back out to the middle of the balcony and began to slow dance with me as a slow jazzy version of 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' began to play. Talk about timing.

I couldn't formulate a response. I just let him dance with me, a simple slow dance. Not a waltz or anything amazing. A slow dance. And while we slow danced, I held my breath… I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I was afraid my heart was going to shoot out of my chest and into the stars. He held my hand in his and had his other around my waist as we swayed to the music, and after a little bit the tension melted away, and I realized how tired I was from the night's events.

And so we just danced… like two normal people at a Christmas party, with the winter breeze ruffling our hair, while our friends laughed inside, and the smell of chimney smoke drifted over from the city below us.

Once the song ended, his voice brought me back to reality. "We should go home." he stated.

I opened my eyes (when did I close them?), and realized that we were much closer now, with my head resting on his shoulder. I pulled away immediately, while at the same time trying not to look nervous. "Okay…" I replied.

As we went inside to collect our friends, one single phrase went through my head, circling my brain like dizzy swirls.

All I had to do was ask…


	22. Christmas brings more than one surprise

**AN: **OMFGZ!31 REVIEWS FOR ONE CHAPTER! (dies) I can't believe it! I'm so ecstatic! I love you guys SO SO SO MUCH! (ahem) Yes. Sorry it's been another couple of months, you guys…. But look! It's here! And it's… (counts) 14 pages! (dun, dun, DUUUUNNN!) YAY! XD Please enjoy!

P.S.: Sorry if there's some errors or if some parts are… I dunno… awkward. I typed up the second half of this at 3:30 a.m. (it's 5 a.m. now) and I'm too damn impatient and lazy to proofread it.

**Chapter 22: Christmas brings more than one surprise…**

When we got home after the party, I didn't go to bed right away. I got undressed and took a shower, washing the mousse out of my hair that I had used to keep my French twist in place. Afterwards I reclined on my bed in my long blue and green flannel nightgown, with a book in my hand that I couldn't read. It's not that it wasn't in English, because it was… it's that I couldn't concentrate. I felt too lightheaded and dreamy to think of anything other than dancing with Heero before we left to come home. I had the song "I could have danced all night" from My Fair Lady going through my head, it was that bad. We didn't share anything other than that dance for the rest of the evening. We had come home, said our respective good nights and gone to our rooms.

I don't know how long I lied there, unable to sleep or do anything. It was like my thoughts just wouldn't leave me alone. Once my brain had exhausted the Heero topic, it drifted over to my family and friends and the fact that I missed them. I wonder how they're doing. I would be opening up one of my Christmas presents with them right now. We always did that… open one present on Christmas Eve and save the rest for Christmas morning. Then my mom would tease me about taking the tree out of the house right away instead of waiting until New Years like we always did. I always was the one with the most holiday spirit…

I finally came to terms with the fact that I couldn't sleep, and migrated to the living room. No one was awake so I had the entire living room to myself. I sat on the edge of the couch closest to the Christmas tree, its lights blinking and lighting up the room, shining off of the glossy wrapping paper of the presents underneath. The angel glowed on top, crooked on its perch, holding a candle in its hand. I sighed and laid my head down on the arm of the couch, my hands cushioning it.

I heard the insertion of a key in the front door, and then the lock turned and the door opened. My blood froze at first, as I saw the silhouette in the door. However, the feeling fell away as Duo stepped through the doorway, the lights from the tree illuminating his face in an overall shade of reddish orange. He looked up as he pulled his key from the lock, and stopped in his tracks.

"What are you still doing up?" he whispered, as he closed the door behind him. I watched as he removed his thick winter coat.

"I couldn't sleep." I whispered back as I sat up from my position on the couch. "Where did you go?"

He paused for a moment, as if debating to tell me, and then finally murmured, "Church…"

I furrowed my brows at him. "I thought you weren't religious?"

He laid his coat over the reclining chair, and walked over to sit next to me on the couch. "I'm not, really…" he replied. "But I go every Christmas to pay my respects. I owe it to him…"

I knew he was talking of Father Maxwell, so I left the topic alone. I looked back at the Christmas tree, and let out a low sigh.

Minutes went by as we both sat there. Duo had removed his shoes and his gloves, and had his feet up on the coffee table, his arms resting along the top of the couch, staring up at the ceiling. I glanced over at him and we made eye contact, and I finally started talking.

"I miss them…" I whispered, as I looked back at the tree. I drew my knees up to my chest as I pulled my nightgown over them to my ankles, forming a little cocoon inside, and crossed my arms over my knees.

"Me too." I heard him reply. I turned to look at him and I could see the pain in his eyes in the dim lighting of the room. His position had changed. He had sat forward with his elbows on his knees, his fingers interlocked, and his shoulders hunched. I scooted myself a little closer to him on the couch, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.

There was a pause and then he replied, "Me too…" I looked up at him, to see him smiling a little at me. "I just wish it wouldn't hurt so much sometimes."

"We'll always miss them…" I explained, for both of us. "And it'll always hurt. I guess it's just a matter of being able to cope with it."

"You know what would _really_ help us cope?" Duo asked his voice a little more lighthearted. "Hot chocolate. C'mon, let's make some."

"Only if we have marshmallows." I grinned as we got up.

"Never you fear. As long as I live under this roof, there will be marshmallows." Duo preached.

A few minutes later we were back on the couch sipping at marshmallow-packed mugs of hot chocolate. I watched as Duo added some more marshmallows from the bag we had resting on the coffee table. "Would you like some hot chocolate with your marshmallows, Duo?" I teased.

"I think if I have any more I'll need a fork." He replied. A laughed at him, and took a sip of the rich liquid. I decided to share a little bit of television culture from home.

"You reminded me of this cartoon we have back home, called the Simpsons." I said. "There's this episode where one of the main characters, Bart, puts a marshmallow in his hot chocolate and it swells up to the size of the mug." Duo started chuckling. I laughed as I continued. "He shook it out of the mug and started eating it with a fork and knife."

His chuckles turned into deeper throats of soft laughter, and he replied, "I would love to see that."

"I'm sure there's a way to find it… it's just really old history for you guys, that's all."

Silence fell for a moment, and then Duo brought up a change of topic. "Do you know that Trowa uses _water_ with his hot chocolate?"

"What?" I replied. "Heresy! You should only use milk! It makes it richer!"

"That's what I told him." Duo explained.

We ended up talking for a while, long after our hot chocolate was gone from our mugs, and we were no longer sitting like normal civilized people on the couch. I tried to listen to what Duo was talking to me about as I leaned against his chest on the couch, watching the tree a few feet away from us twinkling merrily. But the sound of his voice reverberated through my ears, the vibrations felt in my chest, and it was background noise, like the pitter-pattering of rain or the hum of a fan. It wasn't long before I fell asleep.

The Duo that I had fallen asleep with on the couch was much more sweet and charming than the one that woke me up on Christmas morning. I had been left on the couch the night before with a blanket put over me and a pillow underneath my head, just to be woken up a few hours later by _someone_ banging a pan with a ladle right next to my head.

"Wake up!" he announced. Wasn't his voice significantly LESS annoying last night while we were talking…? "It's Christmas! Time to open presents!"

"Duo… I don't think that's really necessary…" came Quatre's uneasy voice.

"Don't bother, Quatre." Trowa commented. "Just let him learn."

I opened my eyes to see the braided baka standing above me where my head was hanging over the end of the couch, my hair in my eyes. I growled at him and snatched the damn ladle out of his hand, and proceeded to try and throttle him with it, while he blocked my shots with the pan he was holding. 'PANG! PANG!' kept ringing out into the Christmas morning, until finally I was able to make him think I was going to swing in one direction, but swung in another, and socked his arm with the cooking utensil. Hard.

"Oooww!" he whined as he rubbed his arm.

"Oh, shut up." I snapped. "You're a damn gundam pilot for God's sake."

"Hey, not anymore!" he shot back, as he yanked the ladle out of my hand.

"Okay, fine. You're a Preventer. Same difference." I corrected. I turned around to see the others sitting around the living room in various spots around the tree, the presents already separated into each person's respected pile. "Merry Christmas, everyone…" I sighed.

"Merry Christmas…" they replied with smirks on their faces.

"So… she's awake now… presents?" Duo prodded, his voice hopeful.

"It ceases to amaze me how you managed to become a gundam pilot." Heero stated, as he handed Duo one of his presents.

Duo snatched it from his hand. "Likewise!" he shot back. "And here I thought being HUMAN was one of the requirements!"

Heero gave him a look that clearly stated, 'just shut up and open the damn gift, baka.'

I pulled the blanket down to the floor with me from the couch, and rolled myself up in it, as I watched him unwrap his present from Heero.

"Hey, it's that knife throwing set I wanted!" Duo exclaimed. "Why, Heero ol' buddy, how'd you know?"

"Hn…" Heero replied. "A certain someone left a certain hint on my Preventers desk." He held up a magazine clipping of said knife set. Duo gave a nervous laugh and scratched the back of his head.

He then grabbed for another familiar present in his pile, and read the note on it. "Hey, this is from Lynn! What'd you get me?" he asked, as he already began to unwrap it.

"It's a thing-a-ma-bob." I teased.

"Oh… I was hoping for a whatcha-ma-call-it…" he replied. He eyed it as he tore through the wrapping. "It's not very big, is it?" It wasn't. It was about the size of a jewelry box.

"Good things come in small packages." I stated.

Hmm… not ALWAYS true. Ooh, immediate hentai thought. Give me a moment while I mentally smack myself. OW. Okay. There we go.

The wrapping revealed a small white box, which he looked at in puzzlement, and gave me a suspicious glance. I merely smiled sweetly at him. He slowly opened the lid to reveal a bag of marshmallows inside with a small note attached to it.

He opened his mouth to read it out loud, but he didn't even get that far before he was thrown into a fit of laughter.

"Huh?" Quatre and Trowa said, completely baffled.

Heero grabbed the bag of marshmallows and read the note. He raised an eyebrow as he said it. "Snowman Poop."

That did it for the rest of us. We were thrown into a fit of the controllable giggles, my cheeks and sides already aching as I collapsed onto the floor. Just the MENTAL thought of Heero saying 'snowman poop' seems impossible. I didn't think HE'D actually be the one to read it out loud. Even Trowa was cracking up. Goddamn it, why didn't I bet MONEY on this! I'd be richer than Relena! Oh my God… What if Wufei was here for this? Or better yet… Zechs? Already I was looking forward to telling Noin and Sally about it.

Heero caught the error of his ways immediately of course, and just sat there in high irritation, as we laughed ourselves to death. I tried to compose myself, but one shared glance with Quatre sent us into the fits again, and I knew that Heero would never be able to live this down. EVER.

Finally, after a good ten minutes of Christmas Morning Ruckus, Duo was finally able to say to me, "You are such a DORK! This is so stupid! Where did you ever get an idea like that?"

"Oh, c'mon… aren't you proud of me?" I prodded, as I playfully pushed him.

"Are you kidding! I'm disappointed _I_ didn't think of this!" he replied. "I am SO using this next year."

"Yeah, you should just save the bag of marshmallows and reuse it." I suggested.

"yeah, then I'll try to get them to pass it on to someone." Duo continued.

"And have that person pass it on too."

"It'll be a new tradition!"

"We'll get everyone to do it! It'll be a huge network of marshmallow exchange!"

"It'll be the oldest bag of marshmallows EVER."

"Actually…" I paused. "I beg to differ. Back home my mom never goes through her food in the cupboards… so we've found marshmallows that are so old, that they're ROCK SOLID. I'm sure I could use it as a fatal weapon if I had to."

Duo started cracking up. "That would be awesome. Death by marshmallows."

"Um…" Quatre finally interrupted. "Are you two just naturally insane, or is this an American thing?"

"That's not even a question worth answering…" Trowa explained to him, as he picked up one of his presents and began to unwrap it.

"Hey!" Duo protested.

"We don't have all day…" Heero stated icily.

"Who's it from?" Quatre asked.

"Lynn." He replied. It was medium-sized, and he tested the weight. "hn… it's a little heavy."

"Just open it…" I prodded. He unwrapped it, to reveal a set of philosophy books that I had managed to get my hands on. "I wasn't sure if you already had these or not, but I figure I'd take a chance." I explained. A small smile came on his lips, and he looked at me.

"Thank you, Lynn. Perhaps this would be a good time for you to open my gift."

"Um… okay…" I found the gift that was labeled 'From: Trowa' and immediately I knew what it was. It did, afterall, have a similar weight and shape. "I want to guess before I open it!"

Trowa nodded. "Okay."

"Shakespeare…" I grinned. His reaction didn't give me any clues, so I tore into the wrapping eagerly. Sure enough, all in is pretty leather-bound glory, was a set of Shakespeare. "Damn, I'm good."

"How'd you know?" Duo demanded.

"I'm just awesome like that." I beamed.

Trowa, in the meantime, spoiled my ego-high. "We had a conversation recently about Shakespeare and philosophy."

"Oh... ok." Duo commented.

"Come on, let's just all open them at once." Heero said, clearly still irate with the world. "If we do it one by one, then it'll take all day."

"Now, now Heero… don't get your knickers in a twist…" I scolded, while Duo and Quatre snickered behind me. "Besides, it's Christmas Mr. Scrooge. It SHOULD take all day."

"…. But… if you're gonna put it that way…." Duo commented, as he started to tear into his presents.

Quatre shook his head. "No tact, whatsoever."

I shrugged and we all began to dig into our presents at once. I unwrapped a package of homemade CDs with song labels on them. After a moment of realizing that they were songs I KNEW (from my time and everything…), I held them up and announced. "Hey! Who got me the CDs?"

"That was me." Duo beamed. "I told you Howard likes the old stuff. I realized it when you were dancing to that one song in the kitchen a while back."

I felt the heat start to creep into my cheeks from the embarrassment, but I let it slide. Instead, I glomped him. "Thank you!"

"Woah! Man… if this is the reaction I get, then I should get you gifts more often!"

"Hentai…" Quatre muttered with a shake of his head, as he opened a flat box labeled 'Fragile'. "What in the world…?" as he opened it, it revealed a framed drawing that I had done for him of all of us as one big group. It had taken me a while to do it, but I was proud of the result and therefore more than happy to give it to him. "Wha… Lynn? You did this?" he asked, stunned. I nodded as I smiled. "This… this is amazing!"

"From one artist to another." I stated.

"Holy crap!" Duo exclaimed as he leaned over Quatre's shoulder. He half-glared, half-pouted at me. "How is that you give me SNOWMAN POOP but you give Quatre a masterpiece?"

"Oh, come, come now…" I cooed. "Do you really think snowman poop is all I would get you?" I pulled a long box out from under the couch and handed it to him. "For you."

"For me? REALLY?" he took it from my hands and tore into it, to reveal a long black leather trench coat. His mouth hung open. Finally words came out. "This… this is AWESOME!"

"Yeah, I know… you can never have too much black." I explained. "I was actually quite shocked that you didn't have one yet." This time it was Duo's turn to glomp me. And needless to say, I didn't mind, not one bit.

Meanwhile, Heero had just finished unwrapping a coffee mug that had a funny, over-excited looking cartoon character on it with a caption that said, "Stress? What Stress!"

"Let me guess." He stated. "Lynn."

"Oh, shucks, Heero… you know me too well…." I flirted.

Duo laughed as he saw it. "Dude, Heero, that cup is totally meant for you."

"I am NOT stressed." He glared.

I struggled to stifle my laughter, as I opened another present, to reveal a set of paints and brushes in a nice wood casing. "Oh, wow!" I exclaimed, as I ran my fingers across the different tubes of paint. "But who…?" I glanced at Quatre, my main suspect (it was a hunch), who was looking a little too innocent for his own good. One glance and a flash of a smile, and I knew my suspicions were correct. "But Quatre, I told you not to buy me anything! You already got me my dress!"

"O contraire," he replied. "I didn't buy it. It used to be my sister's but she never used it. I'm just passing on the legacy. But… if you don't want it, I can take it back."

I looked down at the beautiful set in front of me, and knew I couldn't part with it. "You provide a persuasive argument." I replied. I closed the lid, and locked the latches. "Done deal."

I realized I had no more presents left, and therefore realized that Heero hadn't gotten me anything. A little disappointed, but that's okay… I only got him a mug, after all… Still…

I watched as Heero opened up a box containing a few music CDs. Once I realized they were classical, I knew they were from Quatre. Heero stared down at the Tchaikovsky in his hand, as Quatre simply said, "I thought you could give it a try. It's relaxing, and I know you don't have a big music selection."

"Why does everyone think I'm stressed?" Heero demanded, even though everyone knew the gift was appreciated.

I watched as Quatre opened his last gift, a small-medium sized flat clothing box, to reveal….

He head up the um… strings? Ribbons?

Thongs, actually. Everyone shot a suspicious glare at Duo.

"Duo…" Quatre said threateningly.

"Oh, but they're totally you're color!" Duo exclaimed as a grabbed one that had a tuxedo print on the front, with a little black bow for emphasis. "I'm sure Hilde would love them…"

Everyone struggled not to erupt into laughter. I could tell even Heero was trying to hold back a very un-Heero-like grin. Oh, I bet he was feeling redeemed now… at least he had a partner in crime on the humiliation scale.

Duo broke first… he started cracking up, totally not paying attention to the steaming blonde sitting next to me. Meanwhile, I watched it, totally fascinated, as if it were in slow-motion. I held back as much as I could not to inform Duo of his impending doom. Quatre took one of the thongs and looped it around one finger, drew it back with the other, and let loose in the classic slingshot fashion. The slingshot-thong smacked Duo square in the cheek with a loud resounding crack.

"OW!" Duo shouted. Meanwhile, I finally let loose my laughter, keeling over onto the floor for what felt like the millionth time that morning (and we hadn't even eaten breakfast yet!) The pain in my ribs eased a little from being freed from holding it in for so long.

"Serves you right!" Quatre snapped at him.

"Well done." Heero stated to Quatre. He shot a glare at Duo. "And well-deserved." He added. He stood up from his surrounding gifts, and left the living room towards his room.

"You're leaving us already?" I demanded. "What about breakfast?"

He ignored my comments as usual, and disappeared behind the corner into the hall.

I turned back to my gifts, and started looking at them more closely. I was going over my CDs that Duo gave me, asking Duo if he knew this song or that song… when a grey kitten with a red bow around its neck was placed in my lap from behind. I stared at it shocked, and turned around slowly to see Heero standing there, his hands in his pockets looking down on me.

"I thought you could use the company." He stated.

I stared at him, open-mouthed, shocked, and feeling like a total ass. I got him a mug! A MUG! That's an office gift! That's like… like… a CANDLE! Or a GIFTCARD! And he gives me a KITTEN! Yes, I was definitely going to burn in hell for this one.

A little meow came from the furry creature in my lap, and I looked back down at it.

"It's a she…" Duo explained.

I looked at him, stunned. "You knew about this?"

"We all did…" Quatre replied, as he reached over and pet the kitten in my lap.

"We are, after all, living here together." Trowa explained. "It had to be okay with everyone."

"So… it's more like a gift from everyone?" I asked.

"Not necessarily…. It was Heero's idea. And he did pick her out."

I looked back at Heero, still completely shocked. He shifted a little under my gaze. Finally, I set the kitten down on the floor, stood up, and gave him a big hug. "Thank you so much!" I said, as one of his arms wrapped around my waist hesitantly. He didn't say anything in return.

I let go of the embrace, and kneeled down to play with the kitten, using the string from one of the presents. I glanced up at Heero. "what should I name her?"

"She's yours, you can name her whatever you want."

"Yeah, but you got her for me." I explained. "help me pick a name out for her."

There was a moment, and finally he replied, "I'm not good at that sort of thing. You decide."

"hmm…. How about… Casey?"

There was a pause of silence from everyone in the room, and then Duo replied, "I like it..."

"Me too." Quatre said.

"Same here." Trowa added.

I looked up at Heero with a smile. He nodded his head, as kneeled down, his expression soft. He reached out a hand and pet the kitten, who, in the midst of her playfulness, nibbled on his thumb. "Hn… Casey it is." I smiled softly as I watched him, glad to finally see him a little bit happy for once.

It was after we had breakfast, that Quatre informed me that some of the orphans from the orphanage were in a few of the orphanages in the Sanq Kingdom city… just half hour drive from our new location.

Talk about irony.

And extremely great news.

So, without having to do much convincing, I managed to get Duo and Quatre to take me to one of them, to say hello to them and wish them a merry Christmas.

I was ecstatic the entire drive there, while the blue sky above caused the snow around us to glow, in a horribly stereotypical 'Winter Wonderland.'

"I feel bad that I don't have any gifts for them…" I said as we drove past building after building.

"I doubt they'll really care." Duo commented.

"Yeah…" Quatre agreed. "I think getting to see you will make them happy enough."

I smiled at this, as I watched families play in the snow as we drove by. I had left the anti-social Heero and Trowa at home with Casey, making them fully aware it was their full responsibility to take care of her while I was gone. I'm sure neither of them had had a pet before… let alone one as energetic as a kitten. They were certainly in for an adventure this Christmas day.

I could hear the children's laughter before I even saw the orphanage. Kids were running around in the front playground, with a high black iron fence blocking their access to the rest of the world.

I was recognized immediately, before I even left the car. Or maybe they recognized Duo first with his braid… or Quatre's horrendously expensive luxury James Bond-type car. Whatever the case, the children started giving out shouts of exclamation, many of them running up to the fence, and waving at us. I leaped out of the car, and ran up to the numerous outstretched arms through the fence, touching as many icy-cold hands as I could. Tears stung my eyes as I recognized all of the familiar faces. Both Samantha and Nicholas were here and in good health.

"Lynn! Lynn! You're safe!" Samantha exclaimed, as I walked eagerly to the gate in the fence, the kids on the other side following me.

"we were afraid something happened to you! We never heard from you!" Nicholas added, his voice almost accusing.

"I'm sorry you guys! It just wasn't safe for me for a long time. But I'm glad you're all okay! And so close to me, who would have thought?"

I entered the gate with a grinning Quatre and Duo behind me. The children took my hands and walked me up to the steps of the orphanage. Right when I was about to open the door, it swung open on its own to reveal Maggie, there in her usual bustling grandmotherly glory.

"MAGGIE!" I exclaimed, and hugged her.

"It's about time you stopped by! What took you so long?" she grinned.

"How… what…?" I started, totally confused.

"The last supervisor quit, so I took the job!" she exclaimed. "Ridiculous…" she clucked. "Abandoning these children…"

"Why did she…?"

"Oh, because of the kidnappings of course."

We continued to talk as we entered the orphanage, the children following us, bouncing around us like rubber balls on crack. Of course how that analogy is even possible is beyond me. I choose not to dwell on it. Moving on…

We stayed there for a long while, playing all kinds of games and catching up on all kinds of events, like a couple of the younger children losing their first tooth, and what children had been adopted into families and such. I watched as Duo and Quatre helped the children make forts for what Duo had labeled "The Snowball Fight of Millenium," the two gundam friends working against each other, with their own little teams of mini-me's. It was truly adorable.

Once everyone was so freezing that they couldn't feel their limbs or their face, we went inside to warm in the house's central heating.

Then they all started showing off their different holiday toys, as they started to put together games on the carpet floor. I saw some games that had become timeless, such as Connect-Four and Candy Land (wow, those bring back memories from MY childhood!).

It was a wonderful Christmas day.

But like all things, it was short-lived. On the one day that we would least suspect it, we were paid a very much unexpected, and unwelcome visit.

One of the workers for the orphanage entered the room. "Maggie…?"

The woman turned her smiling face to him, a red-haired blue-eyed man with a slightly bulbous nose and freckles. "Yes Jeffrey?"

"I'd like to introduce you to some of my friends…"

A familiar sandy-blonde haired man stepped into view. His familiar smile sent a single cold chill up my spine.

Both Duo and Quatre leaped to their feet.

"You!" Duo spat.

Both men reached for their guns, but before they could, another couple of men stepped into view, with weapons also raised… and much more menacing.

"What is the meaning of this!" Maggie shouted shrilly, as the children screamed and cowered behind us four adults. Both Sam and Nick were pale and shaking, their eyes wide.

"I really recommend you don't try anything." Jeffrey stated. What was most scary about him, is that he was completely calm… no evil smile, no crazy glint in his eyes.. nothing. He seemed totally sane. Like he actually believed in whatever cause they had for doing this. For terrifying and kidnapping children.

"Fancy meeting you here…" Matthew stated as he peered at me. "I figured it'd only be a matter of time."

"What do you mean?" I glared.

"Birds of a feather flock together, isn't that the saying? With these children and this old lady here, I knew you'd show up eventually. And I knew you'd bring your 'bodyguards' with you." He spat the word as if it were urine in his mouth. "Tell me…" he fumed. "How long… how long have you been defending those _gundam pilots_?"

Silence befell the room, as everyone stood there shocked.

"What're you…?" I started.

"Don't lie to me!" he shouted. "And don't you dare defend them! I'd recognize his ugly mug anywhere!" He pointed an accusing finger at the braided man standing to my left.

"Hey!" Duo protested.

"Shut up!" Matthew demanded. "How dare you show your faces here! In front of these children!"

Um… excuse me…?

One word: CONFUSION.

"What are you talking about?" I shouted at him. "You're the ones with the guns!"

"These gundam pilots are responsible for the deaths of these childrens' families!" he shouted accusingly.

At that moment, twenty pairs of young eyes went from Matthew to the two men standing next to me.

"What?" I choked.

"That's enough, Matthew…" Jeffrey said sternly. "Let's just get going. We've got a job to do."

The man clenched his jaw, but said no more. Finally after a moment, he turned to the children. "Come on. You're all coming with us. Don't worry, you'll be safe."

"You liar!" Samantha shouted at him, tears running down her face.

Immediately numerous cries of protest began to ring up from the room.

"I'm not lying." He replied to them. I clenched my hands into fists, my teeth grinding.

At that moment, a familiar boy stepped into view, to stand next to Matthew.

"Dan!" I started forward, but the click of a safety trigger being turned off stopped me.

"He's telling the truth!" Dan shouted.

Numerous children let out a gasp.

"You're lying…" Samantha whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I'm not lying, stupid." Dan said as he crossed his arms.

"Then why do they have guns?" Nick demanded.

"Because they have to protect themselves from _them!"_ Dan pointed an accusing finger at Duo and Quatre, who stood rooted to the floor, completely shocked by the sudden turn of events.

"We don't have time for this." Jeffrey snapped. "C'mon, men, round them up. We'll take care of this mess later."

"What? Wait, no!" I shouted, as I rushed forward to stop them. But instead, I was yanked away by a rough hand. I looked up to see Matthew next to me, his hand clamped firmly around my arm.

"Lynn!" Quatre shouted.

"Let her go!" Duo demanded, pulling out his gun without hesitation.

"I'm taking her with me." Matthew announced. "She's quite the valuable asset in many ways."

Duo's body shook with rage, as he raised his gun and aimed. "I said. Let. Her. Go."

Matthew smirked at him. "Go ahead, shoot me. Prove me right. You'll only succeed In showing your true colors to these children."

I watched as Duo hesitated, a battle ignited within him.

"Don't…" I whispered to them. "Don't… It's okay. I'll go with them."

"What!" Duo shouted. "Shut up, Lynn! Don't be stupid!"

"Why, Lynn?" Quatre demanded painfully.

"Not in front of the children." I whispered, as my eyes burned with tears. "They've dealt with enough death."

The room was already mostly empty, as the children were lead out a back door. Jeffrey pointed to Maggie. "Take her too."

The woman let out a whimper, as they marched her away.

"Maggie! Why her?" I demanded.

"She'll be able to calm down the children." Matthew said simply. "Besides… you can never have too many hostages." He immediately began to pull me away towards the back door, a gun to my head. "Don't you dare try to call anyone. I won't hesitate to shoot her."

The two men stood helplessly in the middle of the room, as I was pulled away. With one last final effort, I called out to them, "I believe in you guys! I know you can save us!"

He pulled me to the doorway, with me outside on the step still in his grasp, and him halfway inside. I saw a large white van where the children were being marched into. Men lifted them in, two at a time, while two more stood guard, while another sat in the driver's seat, ready to bail.

"Oh, and one more thing gentlemen…" Matthew sneered. "Merry Christmas."

**AN:** Oh my… what's this? Could it be… a CLIFFHANGER? staccato laugh XD Well, if you would like the next chapter… if you're dying for it… (dying to kill me that is…) then review! (lol, not like you guys don't do enough of that for me, right? XD) You guys are pure love. Truly.  Oh, and for the record… Two more chapters left, plus an epilogue. W00t! We're getting there, people!


	23. A Note From the Author

A Note From The Author:

Okay, first off I am SO SORRY that I haven't updated for so long. I feel like such a heel, I can't even begin to describe. In fact, I should have written this author's note a while ago, so feel free to slap me via the commenting process. XD

I don't know when I'll be able to get the next chapter out. A lot of things have been happening as of late, some of it good, some of it not. I'm in the process of transferring to UC Berkeley, so I've been going up to the campus for orientations, and signing up for my classes, etc.

I was also promoted to a management level at my work a month or two ago, and ever since then I've been going into overtime every single week. I work in Women's retail for ages 30+, so it's a very hectic job since women always like to have special attention. And on top of that, we're understaffed at my job, and then some of the managers have to go here or there for business, so then we're even MORE understaffed… yeah. Good times.

Of course, this isn't to say that I don't get days off. And these days hold the potential to get some writing out. But unfortunately, it's not working out that way.

I'm planning on studying abroad in Japan for a semester in spring 2008. Ideally, I would just take Japanese 1A, but it's a fall ONLY class. I would have taken Japanese 1A at Berkeley, if I had gotten accepted for the fall semester like I had applied for, instead of having my acceptance being bumped to the spring, because they ran out of space. (grrr grumble grumble raaarrrrrr)

So I want to get into Japanese 1B at Berkeley (Beginner's Japanese, part two – offered only in the spring) so that next fall I can get into Japanese 10A (Intermediate Japanese, part 1) that way by the time I (hopefully) go to Japan in Spring 2008, I'll be starting the equivalent of Japanese 10B. On top of that, I need at least Japanese 1A to be able to do the abroad program that I want to do. Or is it a YEAR of Japanese?? I'm not sure, because the rule book is a bit confusing. So to play it safe, I HAVE to get into Japanese 1B, otherwise I may not be able to go. (Can you hear the panic in my voice??? Can you HEAR it?? lol)

The problem with this is that I need to take a placement exam to get into Japanese 1B for this spring, since the Japanese 1 class I took at community college isn't actually equivalent to Japanese 1A. So this means that I have to study the entire Japanese 1A textbook, by myself, without instruction, until I'm ready to take the placement exam (which will probably be in January, before the spring semester begins).

To give you an idea of how much work that is, I came out of Japanese 1 at community college knowing 36 kanji. When you come out of Japanese 1A at UC Berkeley, you come out knowing 155. (Dies) So, basically, every waking moment that I am not working or doing other basic, necessary activities (eating, showering… you get the idea), I am studying. Cramming, cramming, cramming. My usually day looks like this:

Get up at 10am

Study until I have to go to work (until 1:15pm)

Work until 10pm

Come home and eat

Study some more until I go to bed (at 2am)

My days off are spent studying and doing the laundry or something equally "exciting." :-D

THEN on top of THAT… (But wait! There's more!!) I have to make sure I will have a place to live. I've signed up for the co-ops (cooperative student housing), but there's no guarantee I'll get in. And if I DON'T get in, then I'll have to leave my job early (which makes my boss mad at me... total suckage) and search for an alternative form of off-campus housing in between semesters.(sigh) Oh, the adventure….. (Grin)

I had started to write chapter 23, but then it got lost somehow… like I try to open the file now and it doesn't work… so I have to start it over from scratch. (Suckage yet again)

As soon as I can get through this transition, and get comfortable with my new living arrangements and my new school, I will definitely pick up the story again and finish it. I guarantee you, with every fiber of my being that it'll be completed. It'll just take a bit longer than we had all intended.

_And finally, a question: What gundam pilot do you want Lynn to end up with? Now, I'm not necessarily going to go with the majority. I'm just curious. Keep in mind I have everything planned out already. I'm just wondering how many people will agree/disagree with the pairing that I choose. (Devious laughter)_

I love you guys!! Truly!!! Thanks for sticking with me for so long, it really is your words that inspire me to keep writing each new chapter.

Love with pizza pie,

Dreamweaver02


	24. The Escape

Author's Note: So…. I'm finally at UC Berkeley now and it has STOLEN MY LIFE. I shit you not. I'm SO SORRY it's taken me nearly a year to update!! I totally wasn't planning for that to happen.  I've got a lot going on right now, and on top of that this chapter was so difficult for me to write. Le sigh. It was the epitome of writer's block, I tell you. I think it's because I just want to get through this chapter so I can get to the next chapter which'll be much easier to complete. Also, keep in mind that the next chapter is the LAST, and then there will be a nice epilogue. Thank you everyone for all of your comments/reviews, favs, etc, etc. I can't believe you still put up with me… that's true love, I tell you. Also, I apologize for not responding to all of the reviews I got. But keep in mind they did not go unread or unloved!

FINALLY… without further ado…

**Chapter 23: The Escape**

The van bumped along the asphalt, kicking up pebbles and cans whenever the objects were in the tires' path. I didn't notice it, though. Everything in my mind was focused inward, analyzing, questioning. Crying. Out of frustration, out of anger, out of exhaustion. Why? I didn't understand this. Any of this. The crying children sitting next to me, the cold-hearted faces of the men with the guns... Matthew's statement at the orphanage. My friends were the murderers of the childrens' parents?? My brain didn't want to wrap around that. It didn't want to accept it.

But it was a war... and they killed lots of people. Yes, they were the enemy, and they had to be defeated to protect innocent lives... but they were still people. They had families. Spouses, children, parents, cousins, brothers and sisters. Everyone is a string, a part of a web. If you take one out, the entire web is affected. I knew that the gundam pilots had ruined people's lives by having to kill. And they knew it too. And it had eaten away at them. It still does.

Even if they were the ones who were responsible for the children being orphans, it wasn't fair to say they had killed with that intention. They did it to protect, just like everyone in war does. Yes, they are guilty of killing... but so is any soldier, mercenary, and leader of war. Everyone has blood on their hands. The Earth, the Colonies... everyone.

Samantha's shaking brought me back to my surroundings, and I put my arm around her while her teeth chattered in fear. She was pale and damp, and I pushed her tangled, netted hair out of her face with my free hand. She glanced up at me, and I whispered, "It'll be okay..." I gave her a reassuring smile; I don't know how I did it. It didn't feel like me, yet I knew it came out totally naturally.

"Hey. No talking." one of the men demanded.

I glared at him. "If Maggie and I are being kept to calm down the children, then that's what we're going to do."

Maggie nodded her agreement and started to sing a little child melody, one I wasn't familiar with. It must have been something she taught the children, because a couple started to sing along, while a few others loosened their tense shoulders. Still, most of the van stayed as tense as a tight rope.

I tried to help Maggie in breaking the discomfort and fear in the air, by teaching the children hand clapping games I had learned in elementary school. We were sitting along the edges of the van in a block U shape, and I had the children lay the right hand on top of the left hand of the child in front of them. I explained to them the rules of the game, and then started to sing, and with each beat they clapped the hand of the other child. "Down by the banks of the hanky panky, where the bullfrogs jump from bank to banky, with an eastside, westside, north PLOP!" and whoever was smacked with the plop was out of the game. Still, no amount of comfort would be enough in this situation. Most of the children couldn't focus, or didn't want to play. So the game ended quickly, and we fell back into silence, huddled together like cornered sheep.

We seemed to be driving for so long that I began to feel queasy from all the jerking and rocking the van seemed to do so well. If we didn't stop soon, I know I'd show just how sick I was feeling. Not to mention my butt was completely numb from sitting on the metal benches that were attached to the inside of the van. Almost as if there was still some semblance of a God out in the universe, the van finally clunked to a lazy stop, giving a final creaky rock back and forth as it settled into whatever road we had stopped on.

We were all on alert, sitting up with eyes keen like trapped animals looking for an escape. None of us has slept the entire time. We weren't sure how long we were trapped in the back of this van. A 'tap-tap' came from the outside against the door, causing all of us prisoners to nearly jump out of our skins. I held a couple of small hands tightly in my grasp.

The doors were opened finally, with Matthew there to greet us, his judgment cold in his eyes, staring straight at me. "Get out." He demanded.

Now didn't seem like the time to argue, considering the predicament, so I complied without complaint. As I stepped out, I could see Jeffrey talking to an older man, who's clothing represented that of the old OZ uniform. Great. I'm surrounded by nutballs. Fantastic. I was already getting an idea of the type of people we were dealing with. He had gray hair surrounding a balding head, and although is face showed otherwise, his physique looked a few years younger than was appropriate for him. His eyes must have felt my stare, because he instantly turned his coal black eyes onto me, causing me to instinctively look away. I began to help unload the children from the van.

He never came over and provided any sort of greeting, and I wondered if he was the leader of this entire underground organization. When I finally gathered up the gall enough to look back at him again, he had already disappeared down the road behind the pine trees that encompassed the area.

I began to study my surroundings as we were forced to start walking down the dirt path, a slight wind kicking up dust into our eyes and lungs as if struggling to prevent us from going wherever they were taking us.

We were someplace outside of the city, trapped in the maze of pine-covered hills. It was late afternoon, the sun just starting to touch the tips of the mountains on the west. I had no idea where we were exactly.

We walked around the bend of the road, following where the man had disappeared. As we rounded the corner, we came to an old Victorian style mansion that looked to be three stories high. The old bricks were dappled in red in the setting sunlight, the white roof and trim a pale orange. We started to slow down in awe, the children's eyes widening at the sight, but we were gently pushed forward. No one said a word.

As we neared the mansion, the doors opened and a group of people came out, some of them women, all of them smiling as if welcoming a family home. A chill went down my spine. Was I the only one who noticed this wasn't normal??

We were taken in with open arms, the inner décor of the mansion warm and inviting. We were led down a long winding hall on the first floor to two tall wooden double doors. I stood there unmoving, apprehensive. The women ahead of me opened the doors, releasing the sight and sounds that it had hidden just a moment before.

The room was huge, and full of toys. Not just toys… but there were children here playing with the toys. There were other women who were interacting and watching the children, and everyone seemed… happy. The children around Maggie and I hesitated, staring at their surroundings. The women tried to persuade them to go and join the others, but they held back, too afraid from everything that had happened. It was like being given a slap in the face, and then a nice slice of cake afterwards. How is anyone supposed to react to this?

Suddenly, however, familiar faces of children I had once cared for came up eagerly to greet us.

"You're here!" Bradley exclaimed, looking as red-headed, freckly, and healthy as possible. "I was wondering when you were going to come!"

"Bradley… what are you…?"

"So… you're okay?" Samantha interrupted, relief flooding over her face, as she detached herself from my iron grip on her hand. He nodded his chubby baby face. She threw her arms around him in a hug, while Emily pulled Nick into the room to play with her and the other four children that had been taken from our orphanage.

"Wait, Nick, get back here!" I demanded.

He stopped and turned around to look at me, confused on what to do. Emily looked at me like I was crazy. "It's okay!" she explained. "They're really nice here!"

I frowned at her. "Emily, I know you like it here… but don't you remember they kidnapped you??"

"They said they're just pro… pro-" she struggled with the word.

"Protecting, honey…" A woman said from off to the side.

"Yeah. They're protecting us." Emily said, fidgeting with the ribbon on her Christmas dress.

I paused for a moment. Then I asked, "From who?"

"The gundam pilots." She said, and I could see a mixture of emotions flash through her childish eyes. Hatred, sadness, confusion. I stared at her with my jaw partially open unsure of what to say.

"Wha… but…" I started. Whatever I might have said was cut short by Matthew's hand on my shoulder.

"That's enough." He demanded. "You and Maggie are coming with us. We still have some questions to ask you."

An icy, prickly chill of fear spread throughout my body from where his hand was. One of the guards also took a hold of Maggie and led us out of the room, while the women who had greeted us ushered the children in. As we left, I could hear one of the women saying to them, "Since it's Christmas, we also got some presents for you!"

Maggie and I were separated halfway down the hall where it branched off in two directions. "Where are you taking her??" I demanded.

"Don't you worry about that right now." Matthew stated with a slight smirk. "You need to start worrying about yourself, Lynn."

"I thought you said we would stay to take care of the children??"

"You will… if you cooperate with us. In case you didn't notice, the children are just fine without you. We have plenty of other caregivers. They don't need you."

The last statement stung deep into my gut, and I could feel the weight of defeat on my shoulders.

I was led into an office room, where the man I had seen earlier was sitting in a high pristine leather chair behind a hugely elaborate mahogany desk. There were two guards in the room, and they helped Matthew secure me to the chair directly in front of the desk. This man, apparently their leader, gave me the same piercing glare he gave me earlier. Once I was securely strapped in, the guard went back to their posts by the door, with Matthew next to my right. The man drummed his fingers together as he leaned back in his seat. Finally, after a moment of contemplation, he stood from his seat and began to walk around the desk, his fingers trailing on the woodwork. His expensive gold watch glinted in the office light. He was clearly very professional.

"Do you know who I am?" he inquired, his voice deep and clear, almost as if he was made for public speaking. He leaned against the front of the desk, directly in front of me. I shook my head. "No. You wouldn't, would you?" he sighed in mock-disappointment, and continued to speak. "My name is Adam Leibrandt."

"I would introduce myself, but I think you already know who I am." I glanced at Matthew while I said this, and he met my look with indifference.

"Yes, I do." Liebrandt stated. "This is why I have asked you to join me in my office. I used to work for OZ… that is, until I was forced to resign due to the death of my family." His voice became cold and bitter.

I paused for a moment and looked at my hands bound to the chair. "I'm very sorry." I finally replied softly. I meant it, too.

"Hn." He grunted. "Tell me, Lynn… how does it feel to be friends with the enemy?"

I looked at him, and I saw the fire in his eyes. He was a tired, old man that had lost everything and instead of blaming the war itself, he blamed those who had to fight to protect. "Doesn't war make enemies of us all?" I replied.

He grunted again. "Don't mock me, girl. I've been on this earth longer than you have…"

I suppose now's not the right time to mention I'm considered to be from a few hundred years in the past…

He continued to speak. "Yes, war holds everyone responsible for murder. But I guarantee that none of us have as much blood on our hands as those gundam pilots. They decimated colonies!"

"_A_ colony." I replied, knowing he was talking about when Quatre was under the influence of the zero system. "That was a catastrophe that everyone mourns, including the pilots. I never said they were saints, but they did not aim to harm civilians. But killing is killing, and whether you kill one person or a thousand, you're still guilty."

"Harm civilians?" he replied. "they're responsible for the death of my family, _and _the deaths of these children's families."

"Why do you need these children??" I demanded, finally getting to the point.

He outwardly laughed at this. "You think I will tell you? Hardly. You're in no position to be making requests."

I recalculated the situation and knew he had a valid point. "Why do you need me?" I finally asked my voice more apprehensive.

"I need to know where the gundam pilots are." He finally stated.

"Why would I tell you that?" I asked him, as I began to slightly test the bonds holding my wrists and ankles to the chair. The room was getting hot and stuffy, especially with my coat still on. But more than anything, I was afraid of the reason he would give.

"Hm. I can think of a few… _little_ reasons…" he responded as he held the palm of his hand down at waist-height. The children. He's threatening to harm the children… that rat-bastard….

I didn't want to test him. I didn't want to challenge him. But I wasn't going to give him the answer he was looking for. I swallowed the fear in my throat. "Is that all?"

His grin widened. "No." he replied. He stepped over to a cabinet to my right and pulled out a crystal container with liquor and a matching crystal glass. "You've been living with them…." He poured some of the liquor into the glass. "…for some time now, haven't you? A few months? Almost a year? How long has it been, Lynn?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Um… I don't know… I haven't really been keeping track…"

"I've heard you've gotten very close to them… isn't that right, Matthew?" he inquired.

Matthew nodded. "They picked her up from work every time… it's obvious how much she means to them."

This statement surprised me. I was expecting him to say the reverse. But really, this is what it was about. "Is that it? Are you going to try to use me as bait??" I demanded.

Leibrandt smirked at my assumption. "I hardly think we'll need to. We have someone of greater value already with us."

"… and who would that be?" I demanded, even though I already had a clue.

"Miss Relena was also visiting orphanages this Christmas day… we are aware that these men work very closely with her as bodyguards. I'm sure she'll be all the bait we'll need." He explained.

"Then why do you need me??"

"Relena may have worked with them for many years… but you lived with them for many months. What exactly do you know about them, Lynn?"

"wha…?" I stuttered.

"For someone to live so closely with them, you must know at least a couple on a very personal level…"

Personal wasn't even the right word for it. I could draw a storyboard of their pasts if I wanted to. This was exactly what they were afraid of…

I shook my head. "I don't really know them that well. I'm usually the talkative one…"

"Don't lie…" Matthew sneered. "I've seen both Maxwell and Winner rambling on and on to you while you would visit the children."

"But they don't share anything personal!" I exclaimed.

"Don't lie!" Matthew finally shouted at me. One moment I was sitting there, the next my cheek was stinging from the slap I had received. I could already taste the warm metallic flavor of my blood where the inside of my cheek had been cut by my teeth.

"That's enough Matthew!" Leibrandt ordered sternly. Matthew glared at him for a moment, then stepped away to lean against the wall a glower shadowing his face. Leibrandt shook his head to himself. "No sense of tact…" he muttered to himself.

Before anything else could be said, deep throbbing alarms resounded through the building. Immediately a message laced in static came through the walkie-talkie on the guards' belts. Leibrandt bolted forward and snatched it from one of the men, and listened to the transmission.

"_Breach in security! Preventers…"_ the message faded away into static then came back. _"Rear entry! I repeat… Preventers… Gundam pilots…"_

Leibrandt turned and glared at Matthew. "I told you to search her for bugs before you brought her here!!" he demanded.

"But we got all of the trackers off of Miss Peacecraft!" he protested.

"I'm not talking about _her_ you idiot!" Leibrandt pointed directly at me. "You're supposed to _search_ her!!"

I sat there shocked and extremely relieved. I tried to search myself to see if I could find any tracker on me, but I couldn't. When did I get bugged??

Before I had time to analyze it, Leibrandt came up to me and grabbed the back of my head by the hair, pulling it back so I was looking up at him. "Tell me right now. What do you know about the gundam pilots???" he demanded frantically, waiting for something, anything to use against them.

Another transmission came through on the walkie in his hand. _"Peacecraft has been retrieved by the gundam pilots! I repeat, Relena has been… AGH!!!" _The transmission cut off short.

Liebrandt was panting now, while Matthew secured a couple extra firearms from behind the desk, handing a couple to the guards at the door. "We need to get out of here!" Matthew demanded. "There's no other way out of this room! We have to leave before they find us!"

Leibrandt seethed. "It doesn't matter… I can still use you as bait. Matthew! Come over here and untie her! She's coming with us!"

The bonds came off twice as fast as they were put on, and I was yanked from my seat. "Remove your coat!" Leibrandt ordered. I did as commanded, knowing he wanted to eliminate some of the possibility of being tracked through the building. Not like it mattered, though. If I knew the gundam pilots, which I did, then I knew that eventually they'd find me.

We exited the room with the two guards ahead of us and Matthew watching the rear, while Leibrandt led me through the building at gunpoint. We reached the end of the hall when another transmission came through. _"They've found the children!! They're evacuating the children!!"_

Leibrandt immediately pressed the button for the walkie talkie and started to shout commands. "All hands to the main playroom! This is an order! Don't let those men take a single child!!"

I don't know what possessed me, but I took this opportunity to burst past the two unsuspecting guards and sprint around the corner, narrowly missing the two shots that were fired at me. I ran like I had never run before, rounding corners while Leibrandt's roaring voice echoed after me. "DON'T LET HER ESCAPE!!!!"

As I rounded corner after corner, I began to run into men that all seemed to be dashing in one particular direction. Knowing that they were following Leibrandt's orders, I ran with them, knowing most of them didn't know who I was. I was hoping I would blend in as one of the female caregivers. I rounded a corner, to suddenly be amidst gunfire in the hallway. Men were dropping around me like flies, as a group of Preventers fired at them in defense, while others forced the caregivers and children to evacuate. Some of the caregivers fought back, pulling guns out and shooting Preventers from behind. It was chaos around me… I couldn't stop to see if I could find anyone I knew, and I certainly couldn't go sprinting through the crossfire. I fell back behind the group of men that continued to amass in front of me, some of them wounded, some of them firing around corners.

As they all fired at one another, another transmission came through that I got bits and pieces of. _"Escapee alert!... woman… short red hair…"_

'It's _auburn_, you idiots!' I seethed to myself. However, I knew this wasn't the time to contemplate my hair color. Already men started to notice me, and I didn't know what to do. Great idea, Lynn. Follow the enemy. You're a fucking genius. Someone grabbed me harshly from behind, but before I could react he fell in a heap at my feet. I turned around and was met by the most beautiful cold Prussian blue eyes I had ever seen.

"We've been looking for you." Heero demanded, almost as if it were _my_ fault we were in this predicament. I wanted to glare at him, but I was so happy at being rescued that my mind was preoccupied with other things, such as said success of current rescue mission. Especially since I'm one of the people they're rescuing... Without another second wasted, he shoved me behind him where I ended up bumping shoulders with Relena who was also taking cover behind his back.

"Lynn! Are you alright??" she asked.

I nodded. I immediately noticed Duo over her shoulder, protecting our rear by firing at enemy after enemy, his back to us. Men continued to fall, until finally he was able to turn around and assist Heero. We briefly made eye contact, and I could see the relief in his eyes as he assisted Heero in firing at the men in front of us, causing men to fall from both ends, trapped by Preventers on one end and two gundam pilots on the other.

Finally enough men fell that they surrendered. A moment later, Leibrandt and Matthew were marched in by Wufei and Trowa, smirks of success on their faces.

"Get your hands off of me!" Leibrandt seethed. "How _dare_ you! After all that you've done!"

No one reacted to his shouts of accusations as everyone began to march down the length of hallways and out the building. Quatre finally met up with us, to accompany us escort the last of the group out. He took the head of our small subgroup, where Relena and I were situated. We followed just behind the last of the children. Everything was fine now. We had finally won.

But then somehow Matthew cuffed Wufei and knocked the gun out of his hand. He caught it as a came back down in the air, and aimed it immediately at the shocked (and pissed) Wufei. However, before I even had time to shout, Matthew got knocked across the back of the head, and fell into a heap of unconsciousness. Sally stood behind him, the butt of her gun still raised, glaring at him. "Like _hell_ you will…" she muttered. Wufei stared at her, and she walked by with a small grin while still looking pissed. "No need to thank me…"

However, something unexpected happened. Dan, who was one of the last of the group of children to be evacuated, had somehow managed to escape the protective circle of the Preventers that he was supposed to follow. Before anyone even realized it, he picked up the gun off the floor and pointed it straight at Heero.

"Dan!" I started, but was held back. Quatre held my arm to make sure I didn't act on instinct and run up to him. I glared at him, but he shook his head solemnly, his blue eyes crystal clear. This was something that had to be faced now. On top of that, rushing in might make it worse, causing him to become startled.

Leibrandt's cheering voice rang out over our heads while the boy stood still in his pose.

"Good man, son! You can do it! For your family! For your freedom!" He galvanized.

All fell into silence. The world around us seemed to stop. The child was confused, and no one made any sudden movements while his fingers remained on the trigger. The boy's face was flushed with anger, sadness, and confusion. He didn't want to do it. But he was a child, and didn't yet have the experience to mask his emotions just yet. His eyes were brimmed with tears.

Heero, who had no one in his custody, kneeled down before the boy so that the gun barrel was at point blank with his chest. He didn't say anything. He just looked at him. There was nothing he could say.

A choked sob came out of the boy's throat while his shaky hands maintained their grip on the weapon. Tears fell, his nose dribbled and he tried to sniff it up without using his hands. Finally he shouted.

"You killed my parents!" The agony cut through me like a serrated knife. More sobbing, while we all stood stock still, Relena with her hand over her mouth, and myself with tears in my eyes. Even Leibrandt's face was hard and solemn. "I HATE YOU!!!" Dan cried. "I HATE YOU!!! It's all your fault!! You did EVERYTHING!!!" He was shaking all over now, and if Heero wanted to he could have taken the gun from him. But he didn't.

"Dan…" I whispered.

"SHUT UP!!" he screamed. He continued to cry uncontrollably.

I ignored him, because I knew something had to be said. "You don't have to do this."

"B-But I want to!!" He raged.

"No, you don't. And that's okay that you don't."

"But I hate him!! All of them!!" he protested, his eyes still on the kneeling man before him.

"That's okay, too." I replied. I needed him to understand what he was feeling wasn't wrong. However, killing was.

Duo finally kneeled down next to Heero and said, "C'mon, buddy. Do you really want to fight?"

Dan refused to respond to him, but at the same time he didn't' say yes, either.

Duo continued. "C'mon… lower the gun." When Dan continued to refuse, he said, "You don't want to be like us, do you? We're killers remember? Don't be the same. You're better than that."

This struck something in the boy, and his eyes widened. Finally, after another moment's wait, his hands began to lower. Duo held out his hands for the weapon, but Dan refused to give it up. "I'm not gonna give it to you." He said coldly. "I don't trust you."

Duo paused for a moment, then took his hand away and nodded. "Okay, fair enough."

Instead, Dan handed the gun to Relena. I admit I was a little surprised. But after I thought about it, it made sense. She has been the emblem of peace for years. On top of that, he was unlikely to trust me, because he knows I'm so close to the gundam pilots. Relena took the gun gently from him, surprise written all over her face. Dan glanced up at her eyes, and then looked down again while he tapped the floor with his sneaker. "Daddy always said he liked what you did." And that was the end of it. Relena put an arm around him in silent comfort.

Leibrandt stood there under Trowa's gunpoint, shocked. "This is LUDICROUS!!" he finally shouted.

"Is it really that crazy for a child to not want to kill?" Sally spat. She fixed a look of disgust on the man, which I had never seen before. I made a note to myself to not _ever_ get on her bad side.

"Let's get out of here." Quatre finally said. Everyone agreed silently and began to finish the trek down the hallway to leave this creepy place. Heero got up from his place on the floor, his eyes looking colder and harder than ever, yet his shoulders seemed a little more slumped than they were before. But just barely. I briefly made eye contact with him before looking away.

However, once again, our exit was stopped by Leibrandt's final attempt at retaliation. He knocked Trowa loose with his brute strength, honed with age and experience. "You think you've won?!" he exclaimed. "Do you think I'm afraid to die? I'll gladly do it if I can rid the world of all of you!!" He then took the expensive watch on his wrist and pressed the small time-adjustment button on the side. An explosion went off that rocked the entire building. By this point the damage had been done. The building continued to shake as the support for the large Victorian began to give way to the fate of gravity. He burst into maniacal laughter, completely out of his mind.

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" Heero shouted, his instinct to protect kicking him back into high gear.

Obviously he didn't have to state the obvious more than once. We were already running down the length of hallway, while plaster began to crumble, and long cracks lengthened from ceiling to floor, breaking up our foundation. Leibrandt was left behind, no longer our priority, and his laughter became lost in the crumbling of the building around us. I tripped on an uplifted piece of floor, and I was immediately lifted up by Duo to my feet again and I continued to run.

Quatre was in the lead, with Relena carrying Dan just behind him. Heero was behind Relena, forming a wall of protection with his body lest anything decide to come crashing down on the woman and child. Then it was Wufei pulling Sally by her hand, and then Trowa carrying the still unconscious Matthew. As we ran we passed by a stranger who was slumped against the wall, unconscious and unable to flee. I hung back as Duo lifted the man over his shoulder and continued to run.

We were at the exit in what felt like seconds, but it may have been minutes. Or maybe it was the other way around. I couldn't focus on it. I was filled with an overwhelming panic. It was nothing I could force or create. It was completely instinct. I was bringing up the rear, since I was the slowest. No one seemed to notice though, as everyone was assisting someone.

Then it happened. I could hear the groan of the building above me, just as we reached the exit. The others had reached safety outside before I could, and as I just stepped out of the doorway, the late afternoon sunlight became eclipsed by something large. I looked up, just in time to see a large piece of wall falling down, down, engulfing my vision with the reality it represented. Deep in my gut, I knew I wouldn't make it. It happened in a matter of seconds. I looked out towards the others and saw Heero running away with Relena, the others dispersed away from harm, and then, without even time for pain, my world went black.


	25. Confrontations

So… I reread this chapter, and realized that the original sucked… so I revamped it! I've worked on this for a few days, so I'm glad I finally got it all fixed up and pertiful. Yay! I know I've fallen off the grid for a couple of years… a lot has happened with me… I graduated, had to move back home, find a job… ah, sweet sweet life. _

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the improved version of the final chapter! Don't worry, I've already started on the epilogue.

Chapter 24: Confrontations

No one could survive something like that. No one. Yet somehow I wasn't dead. Images blurred in and out of my mind, sounds hummed and faded in my ears. My head was fuzzy; my body felt numbed, as if I had been thrown into icy cold water for hours and then hung in limbo to dry. It was a state of mind that was bordering awareness. It was like the word that's on the tip of your tongue that you just can't find. Some images were familiar… a man with his head bent over me. Light blue eyes of some woman I knew. But I didn't have the energy to make any sense of it. Sometimes I could hear what sounded like the slow motion of voices, other times it was just a steady wind in my ears. Or maybe I was just hearing my own blood flow in my ears, like when you listen to a seashell. I was standing on the precipice of my own consciousness.

I could hear the faint _'blip blip' _of machinery, while something pumped air into my lungs. It hurt. I wanted to take it out, but my body wouldn't move the way I wanted it to. I struggled to open my eyes, knowing I was somewhere bright… the light from above was casting a reddish glow through my closed eyelids. Finally, after what felt like an agonizingly long length of time, my eyes were opened into thin slits, struggling to take in my surroundings. It seemed obvious that I should know where I was… there was something familiar about it. But my mind was so groggy that I couldn't focus. Pain erupted right behind my eyes, spreading to my temples. I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them again, this time the brightness not feeling so severe. Every movement I made was slow and strenuous, and I had no control over it.

I first looked around with my aching eyes, refusing to try to move my head. Plain white ceiling above with florescent lighting greeted me… light was coming in through a window on one side. Finally, it clicked. I was in a hospital. This room looked exactly like the room I was in before. In fact, it may have been the same one. Finally, I began to turn my head, first to the left. There, sitting next to me, was someone who I wasn't expecting. The last I saw of him he was running away from where I was holding Relena's hand. He never even looked back. A pang of hurt went through my heart as I looked at his downcast eyes. He wasn't looking at me. He was gazing off, his eyes unfocused.

I twitched my fingers and tried to move my head on the pillow slowly to look around. This caught Heero's attention. I heard his voice. "Lynn…?"

I softly tried to clear my throat. I noticed that I had a tube in it through the nostril. "Hey…" I finally said. I sounded like a frog.

He took my hand in his. "I'm glad you're alright." So he was worried about me. It was like something out of a dream. I meant something to him, and I could tell. The look in his eyes made that clear enough.

Just then Relena walked in. The moment she appeared, he instinctively dropped my hand, shattering the fantasy it had just created. He didn't even seem to notice it. This single action cut through me like a knife, and something clicked. It was as if whenever she was present, I wasn't… and obviously when Heero was present, Relena didn't notice anything else. Her eyes were already locked on Heero the moment she entered the room. In that instant, I felt like a fly on the wall. A fly on the wall that was being completely ignored. "Heero, I think your shift is over. Duo will be here soon. Why don't you go get some sleep? I'll drive you…Oh! Hello Lynn, I didn't realize you were awake!" _'Yeah I can tell you didn't…' _I thought dryly. I tried to give a brief smile, but I was too busy feeling upset and neglected to put much effort into it.

"I'll go let the others know you're awake. Everyone will be happy to see you!" She said as she left the doorway, her blonde hair trailing behind her.

Heero took my hand again, but it didn't have the same effect it did the first time. If he could just be there for me one moment and then not notice me the next, then what was the point? I didn't want to deal with it. I felt I couldn't trust him to take care of me. Before he could even try to say anything, I recoiled my hand and laid it across my chest. I looked at the other side of the room at the sunlight that was slowly dripping away into twilight. "I want to go home." I said coldly, and he knew I meant it. I was sick of being here. I wanted to see my family. I wanted to see my friends. I just didn't want to deal with anything anymore.

It was at this moment that everyone came into the room, and I do mean nearly everyone. All the ex-pilots, Relena, Hilde, Sally, Noin, and even Zechs who decided to hang in the back outside of the group. I had no idea what _he_ was doing here. I immediately wiped the look of disappointment off of my face, and I greeted them with the best drugged-up smile that I could.

"Hey!" Duo exclaimed with happiness. One look at his face and the image clicked into that blurred space of a man I had seen in my unconsciousness. A familiar warmth spread through me, replacing the previous coldness, almost taking me by surprise. He walked to where Heero was sitting and nudged him. "Move it buddy, you've had the seat long enough." Heero gave the seat without complaint, and I caught a brief glance with his eyes. He looked a little hurt and a lot confused, but it was subtle. Very subtle. A small part of me felt guilty for snubbing him just a moment ago.

"What are all of you doing here??" I croaked. "Don't you people have work??"

"We come and go…" Noin said. "You just happen to have excellent timing."

"How are you feeling?" Trowa asked, while Duo sat himself down and took Heero's place of taking my hand in his. His fingers felt warm and secure and I let him continue to hold me, while I continued to avoid eye contact with Heero. I've only been conscious for a maximum of five minutes, and I've already managed to get myself into an awkward situation…

I grinned briefly. "Like crap… but considering the circumstances, I think I'm doing pretty good." My throat felt painfully scratchy. I desperately wanted a glass of water. I looked carefully at everyone and realized that everyone looked exhausted. "I might actually look better than the rest of you though…"

"I wouldn't count on it…" Wufei smirked. "You are damn resilient though."

"I was a cat in my past life." I replied. "Either that or someone up there REALLY likes me. How did I survive?"

"It's a story for the books…" Duo grinned. "Most of the building had collapsed, but some of the first floor walls stayed up. You were next to one of those walls, and the piece of wall that fell down on you actually got propped between the wall and the ground."

"It formed a small space which was where you were. It kept the rest of the building from crushing you." Quatre explained.

"We were worried when they were removing the rubble." Hilde said. "If they weren't careful, the entire thing would have collapsed on you."

I didn't know what to say. How the hell could I be that lucky??

Before anyone could say anymore, Sally intervened. "Okay, everyone… that's enough. Let's give her some space."

Nearly everyone got up to leave except for Duo. "I'll stay." He said.

"Sally…" I moaned. "What's with all this tubing in me?"

"They're all necessary and you'd better leave them in." She said sternly. "You touch any of them, and I'll kill you myself." Despite the obvious threat, she was smirking when she left the room.

I looked back at Duo. "This sucks."

"Could be worse." He replied with a small grin.

"Ha… barely." I replied. I watched as Sally walked past the window of my room down the hallway. "I think I remember her taking care of me when I was unconscious."

"Really?" Duo said with interest.

"Yeah… I think I remember you too." I rubbed one side of my head. "There are other things too but they're too fuzzy."

Duo gave my hand a small squeeze while my head sank back into the pillows that were supporting my head. My thumb rubbed across the tops of his fingers, and I could feel cuts and markings that I don't remember him having before. I looked down at his hands and noticed how banged up they were. "Duo…?" I questioned. "What happened to your hands?"

He immediately pulled his hands away and tried to hide them. "Oh, uh, it's nothing really… I helped clear away some of the debris when we were digging you out. I just wasn't very careful, that's all. It's nothing."

"… You helped dig me out?"

"Well…yeah. Everyone did, though, it wasn't just me." He looked into my eyes. "You're important to us. We were all worried you were dead."

I smiled softly at him. "If I had the strength right now, I'd give you a hug."

He smirked. "We can just say that you owe me."

Days came and went, and I slowly got better. Sally finally took the tubing out of me, and allowed me to eat the joy that is the hospital food. I was ecstatic. Ecstatic with agony.

I saw Heero a lot less after that first time. The others told me that he was busy handling Matt and the others who were captured from the organization. Lady Une, who was one of the more powerful figures for the Preventers, was going to give a public speech on the dismantling of the organization and the upcoming trial. Heero had to make sure all of the information checked out with each prisoner, and had to help Wufei sort out those who were lackeys following orders from those who were in positions of responsibility (whatever that means). I felt it was more of an excuse to avoid me, but that was my humble opinion.

Duo spent the most time with me, and then it was generally Quatre. However, half the time that Quatre was there, so was Hilde, and since they were still in their beginnings of their new relationship, they were still acting all lovey-dovey. It made me feel queasy with loneliness, so I more often than not opted for Duo's company.

He was supportive. A lot more than I would have imagined him being. He didn't ask me too many questions. Instead, he mostly brought new information on what was going on in the world. Occasionally, he'd sneak in junk food and eat it with me ("I'm just helping you, out of the kindness of my heart…" he would say), and even, one time, played with my hair, brushing it and putting it in little braids. Of course, that was late at night, and he swore me to secrecy to not tell anyone that he did that. His affection filled me with a warmth that couldn't be matched, and it both lifted me, and made me sink farther. His constant care and shining smile triggered feelings in me that I had been able to ignore before, but I was not strong enough to ignore now. I wasn't comfortable yet labeling what it was that I felt for Duo; it was stressful enough just acknowledging that feelings were there to begin with. Of course, I'd always found him attractive… I've never had a problem with that; attraction is a very natural thing. But I knew by this point that whatever I was feeling was more than just attraction. I was depending on him. I was trusting him. In the mean time, my feelings for Heero hadn't waned, as was evident by the pain that my situation with him was still causing me. So, here I was… head over heels in love with someone who wasn't returning my feelings, while I received the love and affection from another person that I deeply care about, but can't fully focus on because those feelings terrify me AND I'm still hung up on the first guy… Can anyone say "Soap Opera"?

One sunny day it was a little too much for me. The weather was beautiful and unforgiving of my foul, self-pitying mood, and it made me feel invisible and left out from the rest of the happily celebrating world. I had been trying to play card games with Duo, but it wasn't working out. My usual vigor and competitiveness was gone, and Duo noticed.

"Okay…" He finally said, as he pushed the moveable tray out of the way, the pile of cards going with it. "What's wrong?" he demanded.

"What're you talking about? I'm perfectly fine." My tone didn't even convince me, and Duo raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Like hell you are. You're like a five year old that lost a puppy. You're moping."

"I am not moping!"

"Moping!" he exclaimed. I glared at him. He sighed. "Look, don't try to put it past me. I know you better than you think, not to mention I have years of training in identifying liars. And YOU are a POOR liar."

I hesitated and looked away, fiddling with the hem of my hospital gown. I haven't been talking to ANYONE about my issues surrounding my love life, because I wasn't comfortable enough with them yet. I thought of talking to Hilde, or maybe Sally, but their friendship with Relena made me hesitant to trust them to support me the way I felt I needed. Not to mention, secrecy does not hold up well in big groups. I don't care what anyone says.

I eyed Duo for a moment, pondering if I should spill my thoughts. Of course, I couldn't provide the whole story, because he was a major role in it… but I honestly felt that he could keep a secret if I asked him to. I realized that this was very different from how I had originally viewed him when I came to this world. I had thought him loud, talkative (both of these true), and a bit of a gossiper with a big heart, but a little dense when it comes to being sensitive. On the contrary, as I looked at him now, he seemed a bit more… grown up than that. Maybe the years had changed him, like it changes everyone. In addition, he and I had been forming a bond between just the two of us for a while now, so he wasn't just "one of the group." He was my best friend. The thought made my face feel hot, and my toes subconsciously curled under the blankets.

"I don't know how to talk about it. The idea of saying it out loud makes me feel silly." I mumbled.

"Just say it. Blurt it out. Trust me, you'll feel better. " I knew he would do that. I knew he'd work on dragging it out of me.

I heaved a heavy sigh and prepared myself. I looked back down at the hem of cloth that I twisted around my index finger. I felt a rush of wrongness of what I was about to say, but the words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I think I'm in love with Heero." I stated bluntly.

I glanced up at Duo's eyes and I noticed something flash across them. Immediately I knew it was a bad idea. Yeah… tell the one guy who's been there for you the whole time, spending day in and day out in a hospital with you, that you're in love with his best friend.

What I had said to him had stung him. I wanted to tell him the rest of it… _'and I care about you too, and it's confusing the fuck out of me'_… but I held back. I wasn't ready. I didn't have it all figured out yet. I needed to sort out my thing with Heero first.

I felt a wall fall down between us, and I wanted nothing more than to get back to playing our card game.

He let out a breath of air after a moment, and ran his hand through his bangs. "Wow. That's… wow."

"I know, I know…" I blurted out. "But… it's just… I don't know."

"You know but you don't know…" he repeated teasingly. I gave him a playful glare, feeling the tension seep away a little.

"It's not like he even feels the same way about me." At first I couldn't get the right words to form in my head. Now it was like they could barely wait to escape my pressed lips. My heartbeat felt erratic, and I felt like there was a huge bubbling geyser in my chest.

"Why do you say that?" he asked. Something in his voice made his tone sound different than it was before.

"Well, every time Relena is around, it's like I'm invisible to him. I can tell that she's always his top priority." I said.

"Well, she's an important political figure after all. You always want to make sure you're treating her with respect." He replied.

"No… it's different than that." I said. I could feel the lump in my throat form at the memory of Heero dropping my hand. Tears were already starting to brim at my eyes, as I was finally admitting to myself how much that really hurt. I took a few deep breaths to try to calm myself. "When… I first woke up he was there next to me. That was nice. He held my hand and asked how I was… but then Relena came in. And when she did he totally dropped my hand as if it had never happened."

His browed furrowed and his eyes flashed, but whatever he was going to say initially was held back. Instead he asked, "How do you know he wasn't just shy about showing emotions?"

"Because…" I replied. "I can tell. I don't think he even realized he did it. It wasn't even like he was trying to hide anything… that at least would be something. But this… it just seemed like he immediately stopped focusing on me entirely when she came in. He didn't even look at me until she left. And when he finally did, he didn't even look apologetic. He only looked slightly wounded when I brushed him off afterwards."

A couple of renegade tears slipped down my cheeks, and I craned my neck towards the window so Duo wouldn't see. However, despite my efforts, my cracked and shaky voice gave me away. I felt him lean forward onto the guard rail of my hospital bed, his hands propping his chin up as he listened to me vent. I felt like I was a train wreck that couldn't be stopped. "Why me, Duo? Why out of ALL OF THE GUYS to like, it ends up being HIM! He's already emotionally constipated as it is, and even then he already has someone else that he's interested in. He's closer to her, and he gets the privacy of her not knowing his past… It just isn't fair."

"You shouldn't be jealous of her…" he said softly. "You and Relena are two very different people. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl and all… but you really have nothing to worry about. If anything, I think Heero is just oblivious to everything. He's a brilliant guy - a genius when it comes to technology or warfare - but he lacks training in human interaction, so he misses a lot of social cues. A lot. Trust me. There are stories… Point being, he's probably not even aware that you care about him so much."

I laughed at this, because I knew it was true. My own laugh triggered a smile to appear on Duo's face, which lit up his eyes in that purely genuine way that I enjoyed so much. My breath hitched in my throat for a moment as I looked at him. His lips had a beautiful way of forming a very attractive smile…

"It could have been worse…" Duo said with a chuckle, completely oblivious to my staring. "You could've fallen for Wufei. Or maybe Trowa."

"I'd actually prefer Trowa…" I replied. "I at least feel like I could talk to him if I needed to. He's quiet, but he's aware of things. Wufei and I would be a complete disaster. I'll let Sally handle him. I'm just not that much of a humanitarian."

"Do remember he really was contemplating kill you once…?" Duo commented.

"Yeah, nearly all of you did." I replied.

"Quatre didn't…" he countered.

"Quatre's taken." I shot back with a grin.

"He wasn't in the beginning… you just didn't move fast enough." Duo said with a laughing smirk.

"No… he's sweet, but probably too sweet for me. I need a guy that can give me the spice in life. I like to work for what I get." I laughed. "Nothing quite makes you appreciate a relationship more than the suffering and energy you put into it to make it work."

Duo laughed at me. "What is it with women liking the assholes?"

"You can be an asshole…" I countered with a grin.

"Not enough apparently… I'm still single." He reminded me with a raised eyebrow and a half grin. Something inside my gut stirred at that, and a part of my brain tuned into the idea of a challenge…

No, no, no. Now is NOT the right time for that train of thought… I really need to focus on the Heero dilemma right now. Preferably before I burst into flames.

I thought of what Duo had just said. Heero wasn't an asshole by any means… he was just really dense. But it's true… I like challenges, and that's exactly what Heero is. One giant Goliath of a challenge. Maybe I was more interested in the chase than anything else…? But I knew that wasn't entirely true. My mind still _lovingly_ replayed steamy memories of a particular experience in a Tokyo hotel room after a particularly traumatic event. If I thought about it hard enough I could still recall the feel of his strong, warm arms around me. I could nearly smell the scent of sweat, gunpowder, and musk that had been his aura. It was different from the scent of Duo that was currently in the air… the smell of men's shampoo, car oil, and the faint hint of cigarette smoke lifting from his Preventers jacket that he was wearing. Not that he smoked of course… but many of the Preventers he worked with did.

This really was going to drive me crazy, I just knew it. At the moment it was taking everything I had not to break down in front of Duo, just out of sheer frustration alone. This whole falling in love business didn't feel like 'falling.' It felt like being 'smacked' by love. Violently. I could only hope it would 'smack' me unconscious. That'd be nice.

There was silence for a little bit, while both of us ended up being lost in our own thoughts. Finally, Duo let out another sigh. "I think you're having a hard time with this because you haven't gotten a definite answer on how he feels about you."

"What're you talking about? It's definite enough… he obviously has a thing for Relena and not me."

"You don't know that for sure…" he said, pinning my eyes with his. I was amazed by his strength to be able to talk to me about this, when I knew it was bothering him. I didn't want to put him through it, but it was too late… the gates had been opened, and he's the only person I trust. "You're assuming that through observation." He continued. "And maybe you're right. But you don't know for certain."

I paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. He was right. I was still clinging on to hope, and that was what was bothering me so much.

Duo continued talking. "If you were able to get a definite answer… then would you feel better?"

"I don't know…"

Duo furrowed his brow in confusion at my response. "Even if he said 'yes, I care about you'?"

"I… I guess I would be happy…"

His expression was almost bewildered. "Wha…? But that's what you want, right?"

"Well, yeah… but… I mean…" I searched for the right words, without giving the full truth that Duo was the other part of the painful equation. "I wouldn't believe it…"

He scoffed at me. "Do you, like, ENJOY being miserable?"

I smirked at him. "No more than usual…"

We were both silent for a moment, while I thought on Duo's words, and Duo shook his head in disbelief at my stubbornness. Finally, I started to talk again, this time a bit quieter. "I do think, though… if I knew for a FACT that he didn't want me… not in that way… then it would be easier to let go. Because you can't force someone to care about you, and it'd be better than trying to force it and then ruin the possibility of a friendship."

Duo was silent for a moment, his eyes gazing down at the bed, completely unfocused. "Yeah… that would seem like the better idea. Ya know, to just let it go… easier said than done though."

I had a strong feeling that he wasn't just talking about my situation.

I went to sleep that night in my hospital bed dwelling on the things we had said and the time we had spent together, and for the first time a long time, the idea of NOT having Heero didn't terrify me. It still hurt… stung like a bitch, it did… but it seemed like the most realistic outcome, and I knew I would be able to cope. I think that was not only helped by my conversation with Duo, but also on the fact that I've been dealing with this damn thing for far too long, and I was exhausted with it. At the same time, I was scared of myself. I felt like there are two parts of me. One who wants Heero, and one who wants Duo. Every time I feel myself starting to let go of Heero a little more, that part of me lashes back into action and reties those cut heartstrings with fond Heero memories. Then the other part of me fights back in full throttle, filling my head with plenty of good _Duo_ memories. One side needs to win before this thing is over. The last thing I wanted was to use Duo as a rebound for a love that I haven't moved on from. Talk about shattering two great friendships with one stupid stone.

Within the next couple of days I was finally able to go home. I had been in the hospital for a few months, half of which I was unconscious for. I was ready to go, yet at the same time NOT ready to go. I knew that all of the guys were still living together until they found places of their own. Plus, there was still the issue of what to do with me… by this point I obviously wasn't going back to my world. I had come to terms with that fact a long time ago, although the reality still hurts occasionally. Sometimes the longing to go home can be so strong that I can't even function. It just sits like a sharp log in my chest, making me want to curl up into a ball and escape this place.

However, I don't have that option. I can't leave, so I have to figure out what I'm going to do here for the rest of my life.

That's a scary prospect.

Quatre recommended that I stay with him for a little bit, and go back to school. And then what? Become a professional in some field? Work until I die? I certainly can't form very strong bonds here. How can I connect with someone from here unless they know my real story? Just the prospect of saying I don't have a family, or that my family died or something to explain my own late orphanage makes me snarl inside. The memory of my life back home is already fragile and fleeting enough. I don't want to start saying things that aren't true that might numb what I feel or how I care.

Still, my other options are… well… non-existent. So I decided to take Quatre up on his offer, and get situated here on earth. Maybe at some point I'll go to a colony. That would be amazing!! To go out into space?? I never in my wildest imaginations thought it a possibility.

Whatever the case, that is still a long way off. And I have to bypass the first hurdle before I try to handle anything else. I have to go home, where all the guys are, and attempt living under the same roof as Heero. I haven't seen him for a while, and I hate to admit I'm slightly looking forward to it, just to see if our lack of interaction these past couple of weeks have had some sort of effect on him. At least then I'd know he cares. Or doesn't care. Duo was right… I need to just get a final answer and move on.

Coming home wasn't as bad as I thought. Duo drove me home, and we walked into the house together. It was warm and inviting, and I forgot how much I missed it. Heero wasn't in the vicinity, so I suppose that was good. The light was just right, and hit the furniture in a warmth that I had been starving for while being stuck in the plain white hospital for weeks. It was obvious a bunch of guys lived here… there were pizza boxes, dirty dishes, and paperwork all over the place.

Not a moment later, a familiar grey ball of fur came bounding out from around the corner playfully. Casey ran straight up to Duo's leg, and started to practically climb her way up, giving loud meows of greeting.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "She's more your cat than she is mine!"

"Nah… she just likes me 'cause I'm the one who feeds her most of the time. She has been keeping me company lately, though. I warn you. She'll lie down next to your head and start licking her butt." He grinned.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Sexy." I said sarcastically.

Trowa walked by from around the corner, making his way to the kitchen. "Don't go near the litter box."

"Aha!" Duo exclaimed, picking up the hyperactive kitten. "So that explains why you came over here so quickly!"

I scratched Casey behind her ears, and her paws arched over her head to catch my hand. "Good kitty," I cooed. Duo handed Casey to me, and I held her for the first time in a long time. She was bigger than when I first got her that Christmas morning, and it made me sad to know that I missed out on my kitty growing up a little bit.

"Come on." Duo said. "Let's get some dinner." Once again, that familiar flush of warmth filled my body.

I adjusted to living at home very quickly. Soon I was joining Duo in being a couch potato. He was very good at distracting my brain half the time, even when we weren't talking. Sometimes I would catch myself staring at him while he laughed at something on TV. Then he'd catch me staring, and give me a weird ambiguous look, which would immediately prompt me to look away. Talk about awkward.

As strange as our interactions were becoming, they were always welcome diversions. This was beneficial to me, because it kept my mind off of my own aggravating unrequited love interest. Heero came and went, doing his thing. Trowa explained to me that getting the people interviewed and tried was becoming a long and arduous process due to some post-war law granting special rights to veterans from both sides of the battlefield. Most of the people involved in this group were veterans. Still, it didn't necessarily put them above the law, and Trowa reassured me that they were going to be put behind bars. Enough time had finally passed since Christmas that I didn't feel threatened anymore when stepping outside the house. Things were finally starting to smooth out.

Since things were smoothing out, I didn't understand why Heero hadn't gone off and gotten his own place just yet. I've always seen him as the type to quickly disappear once his presence wasn't needed anymore. He could go live somewhere else and still be a Preventer, right? It just wasn't fair having to see him each morning before my first meal.

I did my best avoid him like the plague. But somehow he was always around, and soon enough the house started to feel far too small for the both of us. I felt like he was practically seeking me out half of the time, but he never really said anything to me. However, I still felt his eyes on me when we were in the same room… or maybe that's just my crazy brain. His presence would throw me off guard each time, and disrupt any good conversations I might be having with Duo or Quatre. Finally, the distraction happened one too many times, and Duo snapped on me.

Duo and I were sitting in the living room talking on the couch, with the television on as background noise. Heero was at the dining room table drinking a cup of coffee and going over paper work as usual, with his laptop in front of him. I kept getting distracted by his presence, and losing focus on the conversation I was trying to maintain.

Duo's sharp tone cut through my wandering thoughts. "Lynn… let's go for a walk."

I peeled my eyes away from Heero once again, and looked at Duo. He glared back at me, his purple eyes like daggers into mine. I could tell he was not happy. "Um… ok …" I replied. I knew I was in for it.

He didn't even bother grabbing coats before going into the evening air. He walked with me down to the end of the block, before grabbing my elbow, turning me around to face him. "Why don't you _talk_ to him??" he demanded.

"And say what??" I shot back. "I have nothing to say to him!"

"Except that you love him!" he replied. "It's doing you more damage not saying anything, and you know it."

"Why are you making it such a big deal?" I snapped.

"Because I care about you!" he shouted at me. Silence fell between us. I was possessed with a ridiculous sense of giddiness once I processed those words, and it made me want to throw my arms around him. But I didn't allow my happiness to show on the outside, because I knew it would be dangerous. Admitting any feelings that might have grown for Duo would just throw this already crazy situation into a downward spiral.

In a much softer voice, he continued to talk. "You're not happy. Anyway, I'm kind of caught in the middle, you know. You're both my friends. And it's really hard not to talk to him about this. And trust me Lynn, he needs to be talked to. He's a dense, dense man."

A million emotions swirled in me at once, and I waited for a moment before responding. I waited, until one of those twisted battling feelings overcame the others. That feeling was fear. "Look. I'm sorry I talked to you about this; I never meant to put you in the middle. I won't bother you with it anymore."

I turned on my heel to walk back to our house, but Duo grabbed my wrist, his touch sending sparks through my skin. "Don't…" he pleaded. "You don't have to do this."

"Do what?" I shot back, fixing him with a glare he didn't deserve. He looked stunned for a moment.

"You don't have to shut me out." He said.

"Yeah. I do." I replied quietly, before I could stop myself.

"What? Why?" he exclaimed.

"I just do!" I shouted, and I yanked my wrist free, and practically ran back to the house. That was a close call…

I said what I said for two reasons. First off, I really don't want to put him in the middle of Heero and I; that's not his mess to handle. Second off, I felt I was letting him in too soon, and it was making my thinking all hazy and confused. Meaning I was scared. A huge part of me felt that I was making a mistake by running away from him like that. But the control freak in me, which is just as much a part of me as one of my limbs, told me that it was a good idea, that I was taking the situation into my own hands and being responsible. If I was being so responsible, then why do I feel so _irresponsible? _

My conscious immediately answered that question before I could get it to shut up. _'You're not just running away from Duo. You don't want to know the truth about how Heero feels about you. No matter what the answer.'_

I hate it when my brain is right… I've become so accustomed to dealing with the rollercoaster that I've created for myself, that I don't know how to handle it any other way.

I avoided both Heero AND Duo after that. But that sort of action had its own consequences. I found myself getting severely depressed and stressed out over nothing. As stressful as being around Heero was, it was more painful NOT to be around Duo. I had grown so used to his company, that I was feeling bored with the rest of the world. When I was in my room by myself, I was thinking about Duo. When I was around the house, I was thinking about Heero.

Two weeks. That's how long it took until I was cornered by Heero, of all people. I wasn't prepared for it, and I was already high-strung. It was the early afternoon and I had the place to myself. The sun flitted in and out of hazy low gray clouds, causing the natural light in the house to change every few minutes. Heero must have gotten off work early, because he came home alone. When he came through the front door, I was sitting at the dining room table picking at a meal that I had made but didn't want to eat. He didn't even go to his room to drop off any of his materials. He made a beeline straight to wear I was sitting, dropping his pack on the table. "I want to talk to you." he stated.

I was stunned at Heero's directness, and the smartest response I could come up with was, "Why?"

"Because you've been avoiding me." He stated matter-of-factly. "Ever since the hospital. And now you're avoiding Duo as well."

"There's nothing to talk about." I said, struggling to sidestep the situation. I set down my fork, and tried to hide my shaking hands underneath the table. My palms were beginning to get clammy.

His eyes narrowed at me. "You're lying."

I stood up and grabbed my plate to put the food down the garbage disposal. "What if I am?" I shot back. "Maybe that just means I don't want to talk to you."

"You're mad at me." He said. I clenched the plate.

He continued talking. "Don't you think I at least deserve some sort of explanation?" I slammed my dishes into the sink, while watching the last of the water run down the drain. I knew I had snapped, and I wasn't going to hold back.

"Like what?" I demanded. "Which explanation do you want? Do you want the one where I felt ridiculously abandoned when the last thing I saw before going unconscious was you running away and not even looking back? Or how about when you dropped my hand when Relena came into the room while I was in the hospital? Or maybe the fact that I'm kind of in love with you and I feel like a fucking idiot for it? Or how about the one where I feel like a bitch, because not only do I have feelings for you, but I ALSO have feelings for your best friend and I don't know what to do about it…? Take your pick, because I have a goddamn list a mile long."

I was breathing heavily now, and he could only stand there and stare at me. Other things were running through my head like how I felt on the night of the Christmas party when Heero danced with me. Or the fact that by now I knew that what I felt for Duo was love… but it was different than the kind I felt for Heero. No, what I felt for Duo was more solid, more stable. If I had to picture myself growing old with someone, it'd be Duo. And in all honesty, that scares the shit out of me. Especially since I'm afraid that my own instability would destroy anything with Duo… and then there's the added bonus that I'm not ready to let Heero go just yet. And oh my God, I can't believe I just admitted all of that to myself. I tightened my lips to keep from screaming.

Finally, he at least made an attempt to speak, which brought my attention back to the present. "You're… what?"

I stood there, leaning with my back against the sink, refusing to look up at him. I wasn't going to repeat myself.

"I don't understand." He stated finally.

"I barely understand it myself." I replied. "But that's how I feel, and it's been driving me crazy for a while now."

More silence.

"Well… um…" he stuttered. I had never heard him sound so nervous or dumbfounded before.

"This is why I didn't want to talk to you." I whispered. The tears slipped their way free down my cheeks, and I covered my eyes and wiped my face. "God, I'm such an idiot! I know you don't feel the same for me. That's fine. I'm adjusting. It's just hard, that's all. Especially when I feel like I can never compare…" the knot in my throat tightened and cut off my words.

He looked at me confused. "Compare to what?" he asked.

More tears rolled down my cheeks, and I wiped them away swiftly. "To her… you know… to Relena. I know the two of you are really close. And… well… she's already done more than I probably will ever do, and… well…" my words fell short. What was I even crying about? A love that I wasn't sure I wanted? A relationship that never really existed? Maybe I'm just being an immature prat, throwing a tantrum about not getting what I wanted, even if I don't really want it anymore.

But I _did _want it. Just glancing at him sent that familiar fire through my body, that hot yearning to tackle him, and not just in a sexual way… but in an emotional way. To let loose the floodgates once and for all, and let HIM deal with the mess.

"I'm not in love with her." he stated simply. "I'm close with her. But my relationship with her isn't like that."

These simple words lit up a small fire in me, and the frustration flooded back thicker than before. My eyes shot up to his face. _'Don't give me hope!' _I wanted so shout. He wasn't looking at me… he was looking off to the side, thinking.

"What does that mean then?" I asked finally. I was struggling to persuasively lead him to answer the unspoken question. The main course of the conversation. The Big Tamale.

All hints of mine fell short, as I should have known they would. After a moment of thought he replied, "It means nothing." He finally turned his gaze back to my eyes.

"Heero…" I started. I could feel my emotions rising up in me like hormones in an inexperienced teenager. Or maybe like a bipolar person. I wanted to throw my arms around him, kiss him, and persuade the answer I wanted from his lips. I also wanted to smack him, punch him in the face, throw a dish at him… or something of equal value, and run off and nurse myself back to sanity. I did neither, of course, like the big chicken that I am. Instead, I clenched my fists, digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands. "You know what I'm going to ask you, so I'm just gonna say it. Do you love me or not? Do you care about me in any romantic way at all?"

He seemed to be struggling for words, and by this point I could already feel what his answer would be. I am so done with this. I felt my heart begging for the final fatal blow. "Lynn… I'm sorry that I hurt you, and I'm sorry that I never made sure you were safe…"

"But you don't love me. Do you?" I said flatly.

Silence. Then, finally, "No. I don't." his response was probably said at just above a whisper, but it sounded like a thundering shout. I flinched at his words. I must have looked absolutely crushed, because then he tried to console me with more words. "I honestly don't feel that way for anyone, really. It's just not me. Not right now."

I nodded and bit my lip, as he continued to talk. "That's not to say you don't hold any value to me. I consider you an important person, and I care about you just as much as I am able to care for the rest of my… friends." The word sounded strange on his lips. This entire conversation seemed surreal. "You've helped me improve myself, and I appreciate you for that."

My eyes shot up at him in confusion. "Since when?" I demanded.

A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "You're very outgoing, Lynn, and very strong. And you're also very persuasive with getting others to interact. You're a lot like Duo in that aspect. You've both helped me improve my… social skills. But I am still a gundam pilot, and I can't undo my training. Anyway, I'll be leaving soon."

My heart shattered into more pieces. Then those pieces fell into place. Heero _was_ leaving. And he said it so casually too! So… off-hand! I opened my mouth to protest, but then shut it. Finally, after taking a breath, I replied, "Of course you are. That's totally your nature. You can never stay in one place for long, can you?"

"I'd like to try, one day. But I'm not ready yet."

The immature part of me wanted to ask him things like, 'Are you sure?' or 'Do you think you might love me eventually?' But I knew such questions were signs of me struggling to cling onto any hope, and if I did that, then I would never get over this. On top of that, I could tell by the tone in his voice that he was being completely honest. His words made complete sense. It wasn't even about me. It never really was. He's just not ready. He's just not interested. A great feeling of stupidity washed over me, and I felt half my age. I truly had nothing left to say to him.

"I think… I think I'm gonna go…" I whispered.

His eyes followed me with concern as I began to make my way out of the kitchen. "Are you alright?" he asked. The attempt he was making was endearing, but if anything, it made walking away more painful. And I needed to walk away. I needed to do this for myself.

"No. But… I will be. I'll just… need some time." I replied.

"Lynn…" Heero called. I turned and looked at him right before I got to the front door. "You said you cared for Duo too. You should talk to him."

What the heck?? Was Heero trying to give me relationship advice? What sort of Twilight Zone have I stepped into? I scoffed. "Yeah… a lot of good talking has done me…"

"He cares about you. Even I can see that." He replied, pinning me with one of his looks. Yeah right. Duo and I hadn't talked for two weeks; I'd obviously hurt him. That was one bridge I burned extremely well. No going back on that one. Without answering, I opened the front door and rushed out into the open air…

And right into Duo's chest. My mouth suddenly stopped working, and I stood there for a moment like an idiot, staring at him. I realized for a split second that we hadn't touched for a very long time, and I forgot how strong his body was, or how I came up to his nose… I had a brief memory flash of him softly kissing my hair that one night so long ago, when our old home had been invaded.

"Lynn??" he exclaimed. "Lynn, what-"

I didn't answer him or give him time to finish his sentence. I shoved my way past him, and power walked my way down the driveway and onto the sidewalk. I didn't want to be anywhere near here anymore. I didn't know where I would go but I didn't care. I just needed to do _something_. Heero didn't love me, which was what I expected… but he was leaving, and I wasn't ready for that. In the meantime, here I was running away from Duo again, too scared of my own emotions. I was sobbing now, and the sound of my own tears almost drowned out Duo's cries to me. By the time he caught up with me, it started to rain. It was an odd rain, since the sun was still out, resting comfortably in a gap within the clouds.

"Will you just _stop_ for a moment???" he demanded, once again spinning me around by my arm, just like he did the last time we talked. I tried to push away from him, but it lacked real effort, and finally I stopped trying to escape.

"Duo… please let me go." My tears on my cheeks began to get lost in the streams of soft raindrops.

"No." he replied. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Nothing I didn't expect. Just… let me go!" I cried. I tried to pull away again, but his grip was too strong now. I wasn't going anywhere.

"You're not leaving!"

"Look, he doesn't love me, alright? It's fine! It sucks, but it's fine! But he's leaving, and… I just… I don't know!" My chest started to heave with heavy breaths again, and I tried to keep myself under control. This single fact unlocked a well of insecurities that I didn't know were attached to each other. "I think I'll be okay with him not loving me the way I want him to. I honestly am. But he's leaving…" I repeated. "…and eventually the others will leave too. And you'll leave. It's like I'm losing my family all over again. And… I'm scared… about myself. About the things I want. I'm scared of what's going to happen to me here. I'm… I'm…"

'_I'm going to be left all alone with these battling feelings inside me. I'm going to go my entire life like this. I can't be around these guys forever. It's not their job to babysit me…'_

I felt Duo's hand stroke my hair out of my face as I stared at his shirt.

"I'm feeling kind of lost, Duo… I don't know what to do anymore. And you and I haven't been talking, and it's been driving me crazy…"

"Why?" he pressed, his hand moving from my hair, to my cheek. I closed my eyes against the warmth of his skin, and I felt myself starting to lean in slightly. I realized what was happening and tried to pull away, but he had me and wouldn't let up. "_Why?_" he repeated.

"Because…" I whispered. "I need you… I need you and it scares me. I don't want you to leave me too… but I feel like I've already pushed you away."

"Look at me…" he commanded. I slowly let my eyes drift up to his. The look he gave me was stunning, and I felt dumbfounded for a moment. He didn't try to hide anything from me. "I'm not going anywhere." He stated.

"Why??" I echoed back. "After all that's happened…"

"You know why." He replied in a whisper.

I could feel his body leaning in, closing the gap between us. The heat I felt wasn't just from his proximity… it was from my own heart pounding in my ears, the blood flushing my cheeks. I covered his hand with mine, ready to try to push him away again, but I hesitated. The hesitation gave him just enough time to act.

His lips met mine softly, and I leaned my body into it. Everything about him was warm and inviting… the feel of his chest against mine, his arms around me, the softness of his lips. We pulled apart briefly, but then he had me in his arms again, his kiss stronger, his resolve thicker. The essence of him surrounded me, and it was like curling into a familiar blanket. I let my fingers tangle into his hair, pulling him even closer to me, as if I were trying to close every miniscule gap between us. I had missed him… I missed him every second of every day of the past two weeks that we were apart, that we weren't talking. I missed our late night talks, our bantering, our rough housing, our flirting. I missed our walks, our meals, our games… I missed how he always knew just how to make me laugh when I needed to feel better. I missed how he would take care of me whenever I was down (which was a lot lately…) I missed his friendship, and even the rare occasions of silent company we would share during simple everyday things, like washing the dishes. I knew, for a fact, without hesitation, that I was in love with Duo Maxwell. I'm not really sure when it happened, but it didn't really matter anymore. I had him, and I wasn't going to let him go.

Our lips finally parted, as the rain turned into a light drizzle for a moment. We stood there, staring at each other, both of us a little shocked. I was the first one to speak. "Our friendship will never be the same…" I grinned.

A laugh escaped his lips. "Thank God for that…" he replied. "I don't know how much longer I could have lasted with the silent treatment. Don't ever do that again."

I pulled away slightly. "I did it because I was scared. I'm still scared…"

"You don't have to be scared." Duo replied. "I know it'll take some time to work it all out. But I'm here for you, you know that."

I furrowed my brow. "I hope this isn't one of those things where you always take care of me but I never get to take care of you. I hate imbalance…"

"What're you talking about?" he replied. "Of course it will be!" I socked him on his arm. "Ow!"

"Yeah right… like I could physically hurt you…"

We began to walk back to the house as Duo and I settled back into our old mannerisms. It was uplifting to see that he and I could continue on without too much weirdness. I gave me hope that I was too afraid to feel a moment ago.

I'm not sure what'll happen between us or even with the others… but we'll do our best. I watched him as he talked animatedly about the two of us, and I smiled. I really did love him, and that had to count for something.


	26. Epilogue

AN: OMG! IT'S HERE! THE EPILOGUE IN ALL OF ITS GLORY! *Hyperventilating*

Please enjoy, and OMG I'M SO SORRY IT'S TAKEN ME YEARS TO GET THIS OUT~

Epilogue

If I said that everything was perfect after that rainy day, then I would be lying. That isn't to say that things ended in disaster, either. But like most things, life has a funny way of teaching us important lessons before we can really find and have that happiness we're looking for.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to notice that Duo and I were closer than usual, although the nature of our relationship was still slightly ambiguous. We were more than friends, but we both knew that laying down any sort of commitment right away might not be such a good idea until I have some time to get past all that's happened recently. Still, this didn't stop us from cuddling on the couches while watching TV, flirting while making food in the kitchen, and sharing tender kisses throughout the day.

If Heero had any feelings of any sort around Duo and I, he never showed them… at the very least, I'm sure he wasn't surprised after I confessed all to him. In the meantime, Trowa smiled at us and Quatre was ecstatic, even after I had a private conversation with him to get him up to speed. He was confident that Duo and I were meant for each other, which was rather endearing and made Duo beam (unwittingly, he told me later) much to my embarrassment. Truth or no, I'm sure it helped that Quatre was still in the throes of his relationship with Hilde, and seemed to never be anywhere lower than cloud nine. They had been together nearly 6 months now, but it was still was just like their first night at the Christmas party, albeit with significantly less awkwardness.

Heero left shortly thereafter, as he said he would. Still, the reality of it was painful, even with Duo there to support me. When Heero had told me that day that he was planning on leaving, I didn't realize he meant within the next couple of days. Naturally, my brain really liked being in denial, so I was expecting him to leave in a week or two. So imagine my surprise when he knocked on my door to inform me that he was leaving early the next morning. A variety of emotions rose up in me, and I decided to talk to Duo about it.

"Heero's leaving tomorrow morning." I stated, while Duo and I took a night time stroll through the neighborhood. The air was a little nippy, so I took the opportunity to share Duo's pocket with him, our fingers entwined in the thickness of the warm leather coat I got him for Christmas.

A brief flash of something negative flashed across his eyes. Might have been frustration, anger, or pain… or all of the above. Now that we were together of a sort, he didn't hide his emotions as much from me. It was still difficult for him at times to deal with my caring for Heero, but he handled it gracefully as usual.

"I know." He stated. "He told me today as well."

"Do you know where he'll be going?" I asked.

Duo shook his head. "He didn't say. He probably prefers it that way, if I know him at all."

I got the silent hint not to ask when he leaves tomorrow.

The next morning, those of us still staying at the house gathered to see Heero off. We stood on the walkway right outside of the front door, while Heero loaded up his few belongings into his car. I held Casey in my arms, scratching her under her chin absently while she purred and kneaded into my arms. When he was done, everyone began to say their goodbyes. Brief, to the point, but poignant. The goodbyes mostly consisted of hand-shaking and salutes. When he went to shake Duo's hand, Duo pulled him into a big, brief guy hug.

"Good luck with everything, wherever you end up." Duo stated with a smile.

Heero nodded. "Thank you." He said.

When he got to me, Casey mewed at him, and he scratched her briefly behind his ears. "She'll miss you…" I smiled sadly.

"She'll be alright." Heero replied, as he looked up at me.

I gave him a hug, with Casey still in my one arm. My lingering feelings for him started to crawl up, and I felt the urge to give him an brief kiss goodbye, like on the cheek or something… but I knew anything like that would be painful for Duo, whether he was here to see it or not. Yeah… we may not be 'official,' but we might as well be. My loyalty code would settle for nothing less.

"Will we ever see you again?" I asked. With Heero, you can never be too sure.

"Eventually." He said. His tone was matter of fact and simple. It was reassuring.

"Well then," I stated. "I second Duo's comment. Good luck. And may the force be with you."

"….what?"

"Star Wars. Epic Sci-Fi movie trilogy from the 1970s….? Nevermind."

Heero dismissed it, and stepped back. He looked at everyone for a moment, and then said simply, "Goodbye. And thank you. For everything." With that, he got into his car and left while we all waved farewell.

Once he was out of sight, Duo put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him as we started to walk back into the house.

"So…" he started. "Star Wars?"

"One of the greatest Sci-Fi films ever created, at least until the horrible prequels came out. Has Jedi, and magic, and Aliens, and Darth Vader!"

"Yep, I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"You wound me." I stated.

Shortly thereafter, Trowa left to return to the circus and to Catherine, and then talk began about what the rest of us were going to do. Quatre planned to return to one of his larger estates, and Hilde was planning on moving in with him, which left Duo and I to figure out what our options were. Quatre extended the offer for us to live with him, but I could tell that Duo was done living under a shared roof, especially off of someone else's charity. He was as independent as any other Gundam pilot, and while he chose to stay in the city to work at the local Preventers headquarters, he cringed at the idea of staying in a large mansion where he'd be faced with Quatre and Hilde smooching before he'd had his coffee every morning.

The part that was more shocking to me was that he wanted me to move in with him.

"I don't know…" I said. "I mean, that's a BIG step."

"I know…" he replied. "And you don't have to if you don't want to. But I thought it might be good for you if you had a place of your own. Okay, yeah so it'd be OUR place of our own, but at least you wouldn't be living off of someone else."

"I'd be living off of you…" I pointed out.

"Not if we both agree to pay for our living expenses. I may be able to pay more right now, because I earn more, but you should pitch in as much as you can too."

I peered into his big violet eyes, and he stared back at me, open as a book.

"I… Duo…"

"Look," he said. "If you're afraid it's too fast, then don't do it. I just thought that it might be easier for you to move on if you're supporting yourself more, and you can do that with me."

Could I? I thought about it. What was I afraid of? It just felt… sudden. But the idea of living with Quatre and Hilde left me feeling desperate to find other options. Sure, I suppose I could room with some total strangers… but why would I do that when I can be with someone who not only am I in love with, but get along great with? Plus the idea of not being under the same roof as Duo made me realize how much time we really did spend together, and how much of that we'd lose if we gave that up. The idea was not a pleasant one. I could barely handle a week or two of us not talking, and although it wouldn't be so extreme, the reality of us not living together left me with an uncomfortably familiar feeling.

"Well…" I began with a smirk on my face. "It's not like we're not already practically living together anyway…"

A true statement. Since Duo and I first got together we've been spending more and more time together. Alone. In our rooms. Most nights we'd end up sleeping in the same bed together, because really… who wants to get up out of bed and walk across the hall to fall asleep in a cold empty bed 20 feet away?

"I was thinking the exact same thing." He grinned, as he pulled me against him for a kiss.

We ended up moving into a small little one bedroom apartment, and from there we began to settle in together. However, Heero never seemed to completely dissipate from my mind like I thought he would. Instead, the memory of him hung around, and occasionally the stoic pilot would show up in my dreams. I became too afraid to tell them to Duo, to open up to him and talk to him about it. So I said nothing, bottling it all up inside, which led to me becoming more and more distant with him. It didn't take long for him to notice something was up, and it typically came up around any sort of intimacy between the two of us. I found myself uncomfortable around him half the time and the other half I felt undeserving, which really didn't leave much room for happiness.

I don't know why I didn't confess to him… I guess I was afraid of losing him. I was afraid of hurting him, and dragging out the process. He seemed so happy with me most of the time, and I had felt that he'd suffered enough around my feelings for Heero.

'_I__just__need__more__time__…_' I told myself. '_I__can__work__this__out__myself._'

In the meantime, Duo tried to help me feel more comfortable, tried to figure out what was going on with me, figure out what it was that I needed that he could do differently. I gave him other issues that we could work on, other things I'd noticed coming up for me as well. Trusting men was a big one… I noticed that I was great with all the wonderful physical pleasures of being with someone at the beginning of a relationship, but as time progressed I would become nervous, and uncomfortable, and afraid. I knew where it came from… the marks left from my childhood never really healed, so understandably my trust in men and commitment was hopeful at best. And through things like that we did wonderfully. He was always patient, never pushed for anything, and it made me feel even worse.

Finally, the shit hit the fan one chilly night in November. We had been together for half a year, and Duo got the idea to celebrate it by taking me to a ballet show. He knew I loved classical music with the added benefit of dressing up, so he showed up that afternoon from work with tickets and a big smile on his face. I was ecstatic, and soon thereafter we were out the door and on our way.

When we arrived, Duo had the car parked by Valet and he walked me up the wide steps to the concert hall, my hand on his arm. He looked gorgeous in his all black suit and clean-shaven, and I looked like his perfect match in a black glittering dress. We chattered amicably together as we turned in our tickets and made our way through the doors.

All was fine until I saw _him_.

Heero and Relena were on the opposite side of the room, but I noticed them immediately. Heero was in a classic black suit with a white shirt and black tie underneath, and Relena had her hand on his arm much like I had mine on Duo's, looking radiant in a sky blue gown.

All at once my emotions hit my like a wave, and suddenly I was angry, and exasperated, and deep down, the part of me I hated, filled with longing and a tinge of jealousy. It was all because of this, this one person that I was so torn up inside. I somehow let myself get so wrapped up in him for so long, that disentangling me was so much more difficult than I ever thought it would be. And here I was, supposed to be having a fantastic evening with an amazing man who was everything I ever wanted in a partner, but instead glaring daggers of frustration and longing at a missed opportunity that never existed, all the while hating myself entirely.

And that was it. I knew I was done with this stupid situation that I kept creating for myself. I almost laughed aloud at the ridiculousness of it all. I felt like I'd resisted so much, for so long, kept silly secrets and feelings, and let everything fester in me so much that the past few months had felt like a fog to me. I never regretted my choice to be with Duo, and I still didn't. What I didn't do, however, was give myself a mourning period to be able to move on. I leaped right into a serious relationship because I was afraid of losing Duo, I was afraid to trust that he really did love me enough to wait until I was really ready.

There was a lot I needed to make up for, a lot of things that I needed to explain to him. My realization felt so fast, so instant, but when I turned to Duo to smile at him, I could tell that it wasn't fast enough. The look in his eyes crushed my smile before it ever even made it to my face, and before I could say anything, he stormed out of the concert hall.

"Duo?" I called frantically, as I struggled my best to follow him against the push of people rushing in. But he was faster than I was, and more skilled at disappearing into crowds that it didn't take long for me to lose sight of him. Panic filled me for an instant.

But when I finally emerged onto the steps, there he was, looking down at his feet, his hands clenched into fists.

"Duo…" I breathed. "Duo, I'm so sorry-"

"All this time." He spat. "All this time, and you never told me."

"I know, I know… I just-"Tears were already falling from my cheeks, and I knew there was nothing I could say.

"No, _you_ don't know!" he replied, as he spun to face me. The look he gave me cut through everything I had, everything I was. I looked down at my feet out of fear that I would fall to pieces in an instant if I looked any longer.

"I waited for you. For so long, I waited! I was there for you, every second, of every day. I never lied to you, I never hurt you… yet you still want _him_. You're still in love with _him._"

"No!" I shouted. "I'm not-"

"Don't lie to me!" he shouted. "Stop lying to me! Christ, Lynn! How much more do you think you need to hurt me? I get it, okay?" he turned away from me.

I was sobbing now, and I grabbed his arm to keep him from leaving. "Please," I begged. "_Listen_ to me!"

He faced me again, shaking my hand off his arm in the process. If I could just touch him, kiss him, hold him, he'd know…

"No." he replied. His eyes looked as if he were about to cry. "I've given everything I could, but apparently it's not good enough. I'm done."

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

"Duo, please don't… you don't have to do this…" I begged.

"Yeah, apparently I do, since you don't have the gall to do it yourself." He spat.

I smacked him across the face.

"How _dare_ you." I whispered. I had so much more to say, but nothing else came from my lips. I was shocked with myself, and shocked at Duo… it felt like the entire past five minutes have been out of some nightmare that just wouldn't end.

His cheek was red, and my hand stung. He stared at me for a moment, just as shocked as I was. Then his face lost all its expression and he turned away.

"Duo, I'm so sorry…" I whispered, as I buried my head in my hands.

He was silent for a moment before he spoke. "Me too." He finally replied. "You should call Quatre and have him pick you up." He started to take a few steps back toward where the valet was.

"I can't believe you're leaving me here…"

His voice came out in a pained croak. "I have to."

And then he left.

Quatre was able to pick me up that horrible night while Hilde tried to call Duo repeatedly, but by the time we got back to the apartment Duo and all of his things were gone. So I fell apart a second time that evening, and after that I wasn't the same. Quatre and Hilde took me in since I couldn't pay the bills at the apartment by myself. I was a zombie through life. I went through the motions but I felt nothing about anything I did, and Duo never, not once, left my mind. Most nights I cried myself to sleep, and most days I replayed good memories and bad memories, and dreams that will never happen. In the meantime, Hilde was angry with me for hurting Duo (rightfully so) and refused to talk to me at all. And honestly, I was fine with that since I had no energy to argue with her. Quatre, on the other hand, was constantly checking in on me, and always gave me a shoulder to cry on (which seemed to happen all the time now).

Days turned to weeks, and weeks began to turn into months, but the loss of Duo never waned. The worst part about the whole thing was that I felt entirely powerless to do anything. I had no idea where he'd disappeared to, and neither did Quatre or even Hilde (who eventually stopped being angry at me due to my heartbrokenness). And without that, I had no hope.

Then, one day, hope came in the form of Heero Yuy, ironically enough. He was in town, and decided to exercise his social skills and pay us a brief visit. I was in my room when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in…" I answered.

Heero stepped in, and closed the door behind him.

"Oh… hi." I said. It was strange seeing him now… still beautiful of course, but all of the high stress emotions I had around him before weren't there anymore.

"Hello." He replied. "Quatre told me what happened." Ah, Heero, always to the point when he decides to talk.

"Ah. Yeah. That." I commented.

"I just wanted to apologize." He said.

"Apologize? For what?" I asked.

"For being what came between the two of you." He replied.

I smiled a sad smile at him. "Here, sit with me. You don't have to apologize. What came between Duo and I was me making stupid decisions and not being honest with myself or him. You were the topic, but not the cause."

Heero stared at me for a moment while he processed my words. Finally, he asked, "Do you miss him?"

"Every day." I replied. Sadness and longing began to fill me, and I began to speak. The words were private, and before I would have been uncomfortable sharing them. But now none of that mattered anymore, I found it easy to talk to him. He was a man of few words, which meant he was a strong listener.

"I feel like I'm falling, Heero. I'm falling and this time he's not going to be there to catch me. And I'm going to hit the earth and shatter into a million pieces until there's nothing left. But I've already fallen, and broken, but it keeps happening to me, over and over again. I had everything I could ever want and I threw it away because I was too scared."

"What were you scared of?" he asked, after another long silence.

I gave a small laugh and a sigh. "Everything…" I replied. "Scared of hurting him, scared of losing him, scared that I didn't really deserve him… scared of how much he loved me, like I could do no wrong. I felt like I had his heart in my hands and I could just drag it across the floor and he'd let me, and that power scared me.

"But that's exactly what I did… I did all of that, and he didn't deserve it. He was so good to me, Heero… I never meant to hurt him. And I was ready… I saw you and Relena at the ballet that one night, and that was it. I was done feeling this way, done being afraid when I should be happy. And I was going to come clean, to open up and spill everything to him, but it was too late. We argued. He said such terrible things, and I smacked him… and he left."

"Why don't you go after him?" Heero asked.

"If I knew where he was, I would. But when he left, he disappeared. No traces left behind, no note, no phone call, nothing. He just… vanished."

"I can find him." Heero stated.

I looked into Heero's eyes, and my eyes felt hot with unshed tears. "He doesn't want me to find him, Heero. Ever."

"Sometimes what we want isn't always what's best." Heero replied. "Sometimes what we need is more important."

"He doesn't need me, Heero." I stated.

He stared at me for a silent moment. "Perhaps not. But he needs what you're willing to give, and I think he wants it to come from you."

I stared at him, shocked. Finally, my mouth moved. "Since when did you get so perceptive?" I demanded.

"Do you want me to help you or not?" Heero replied.

"Yes. Help me find him."

Duo, as it turns out, returned to the closest place he could call home, L2, working as a car mechanic at some random repair shop. When I informed Quatre and Hilde that I was going after him, they both hugged me and wished me luck. Of course, Hilde threw in an extra batch of "if you hurt him again I'm gonna kill you."

"Do you need any help getting there?" Quatre asked.

"No..." I replied. "I need to do this myself without anyone's help. Well, except for Heero, because he knew how to find Duo."

"How are you going to pay for your shuttle flight?" Quatre asked.

"The upside of being depressed, working, and not paying rent is that I have a lot of unspent money. Of course, I can only afford one way…" I explained.

"When are you leaving?" Hilde asked.

"As soon as possible."

It was the truth. I was able to get a ticket on the next available shuttle flight out of there. I had one single bag on me with a change of clothes, and my purse with my flight information and IDs. Quatre dropped me off at the airport, and soon enough I was through security and boarding a red-eye flight to L2.

My heart was in my throat as I waited impatiently in my seat. I wasn't sure what to expect. This was, of course, my first time going into space. I was filled with disbelief and excitement. Add onto that the terrifying possibility of seeing Duo again, and I was surprised I wasn't practically vibrating.

As the shuttle took off, I gripped the armrests of my seat, as I stared at the window in awe. The ground shrank before me, transforming into a vast stretch of city lights that soon vanished as the shuttle passed the layer of clouds, which glowed a yellow ember from the city below. The starlight was everywhere now, and I watched as we rose higher and higher. Finally, as the dark grey nighttime sky faded to a jet black, the universe seemed to explode before my eyes, and suddenly there were stars everywhere the eye could see, an endless sea of glitter, and I watched as the earth shrank below us, farther and farther. It was overwhelming. So this was what it was like up here. Huge, vast, empty and full at the same time. I felt small and insignificant in this timeless place, yet incredibly precious and unique. For a few moments I forgot about why I was here in the first place. I stared out into space, as my brain grappled with the possibilities. How many of these stars are long since dead, their light still travelling to this point in space? How many new stars are out there that we don't know about yet? How many of those places contain life?

The shock didn't really seem to wear off until we were approaching the colony. Suddenly, the reality of it all hit me again, and I almost felt like fainting from fear. What if he really does hate me? What if he sends me away? What will I do? Will I fall at his feet and beg him to take me back? Will that be it, game over? What if he's already in another relationship with someone else?

That thought alone was enough to make me feel sick.

I waited impatiently and with trepidation as the shuttle got closer and closer to the colony, and finally started to slow as it approached it docking location.

Another thirty minutes, and then I was off the shuttle, feeling slightly nauseated with the knowledge that this place was man-built and floating in space. Go far enough in any direction and you'll end up in an empty, cold, unforgiving vacuum.

I started walking. One foot in front of the other, trying to just focus on getting through each step of this process. Train. I needed to get on a train. I followed the signs towards the pickup locations and public transit, and came out into a bright sunny day on L2. It was incredibly strange and disorienting to see not only a place where the sky stopped, but that the ground in both directions swept up and away as part of the great ring shape that these colonies where designed after.

I held the directions to Duo's shop tightly in my hands, as I looked at the different buses, and boarded the Blue Line towards Easternshire. I looked at the map on the wall of the train as the doors closed and it started to move. Seven stops until my exit.

It seemed both too slow and too fast when my exit finally came up. I stepped off the train, belongings in hand, feeling incredibly winded and tired, considering I hadn't slept at all since yesterday. But still, I moved on. I came out of the subway system at the intersection Kings Road and Green Street. I began to walk.

It wasn't long until Duo's repair shop became visible, and, at first I slowed to almost a stop. Then I forced my feet to move, faster and faster until suddenly – I was there.

The garage door was open, and I saw Duo immediately. Or, at least some of him. He was underneath a car that was elevated only a foot or so off the ground, tinkering away on God knows what, and couldn't see me from his position. My breath hitched in my throat, and there I froze.

"I'll be with you in a moment, ma'am… I'm the only one working here today." I heard his muffled voice call.

He didn't recognize me. This was it. My only chance to walk away. Maybe I should. I could come back tomorrow, when I've had some rest…

A moment later and he was rolling out from under the car, and in that moment he saw me and he froze. He stood up slowly, and stared, his mouth slightly open in shock.

I stared at him, unable to speak as well for a moment. He was more gorgeous than I remembered. His white tank top was filthy with car oil and grease, and his jeans even more so, with tears at the knees. He had a baseball cap on, which his braid was tucked into, I'm assuming to keep from getting it caught in anything. My heart and body ached for him.

"Lynn…" he breathed.

"Hi…" I replied quietly, my voice just above a whisper. So this was it.

"What are you doing here?" The hurt was still there in his eyes, but so was something else. Something important.

"I… I came here looking for you." I explained.

"From where - from Earth?"

I nodded.

"…You came all the way from Earth to find me?" He repeated, completely shocked.

"I did." I replied.

"Why?" he asked, and I could feel his wall start to go up. Tears started to form in my eyes.

"Because…" I started, but couldn't finish.

He frowned. "Lynn, why are you here?" he demanded.

"Oh God, Duo, I don't know… I mean… I do… it's just… you know, I had this whole speech laid out, I knew exactly what I was going to say and how I was going to say it, but now that I'm here… none of that matters." I wiped my eyes and looked at him. "It doesn't matter how I say this, just so long as you hear me."

"Lynn…" Duo started, as a looked at his feet and then down the street. He looked like he was about to leave or have me leave, either way.

"NO!" I shouted. "You will not shut me out this time!" I demanded. "Duo, you _left_ me there! You left me and then you disappeared!" He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "I know why you did it, and I know that I hurt you. A lot, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…" tears started to roll down my cheeks. "If you still don't want to be with me anymore, then that's fine, I'll understand. But fuck, Duo, if we're going to break up let it be for the right reasons!"

"What, you being in love with my best friend while you're in a relationship with me isn't a 'right reason'?" he demanded.

"If that were really the reason then I wouldn't be here." I replied. "Duo, I _was_ in love with Heero. AND I was in love with you too. And I was confused, and I was hurt, and I made a lot of really stupid STUPID choices. There's no excuse for them.

"When things didn't work out between Heero and me, I was in such a painful place, and you were there for me. You took me in, loved me, forgave me, made me feel safe, and I cherished it Duo, I always did. But I felt like all I kept giving you was pain, every time I'd mention him, every time I'd share with you how hard it was for me to let him go still. I could see it in your face every time he came up, and it killed me. So I stopped. I stopped bringing it up, stopped talking about it.

"But that made it worse, because then I wasn't able to heal from it… I went from losing someone I loved to being in a serious relationship with you, when what I really needed was time. I needed time to be pathetic and depressed and hurt over Heero, so that I could then really make a place for you in my heart that was just for you, just for us, and I could be there for you in a way I wasn't able to before."

His expression was pained, but I could tell he was understanding me. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

More tears slipped down my cheeks. "Because I was afraid I'd lose you. I was afraid you wouldn't wait for me. And you'd already waited so long, that it felt unfair to make you wait any longer. I thought I could do it all on my own, so I didn't say anything. And then that night… at the ballet… I saw Heero, and I finally got it… everything finally clicked, and I realized…"

"… What?" Duo prodded. "What did you realize?"

"That I had loved the two of you differently… My love for Heero was like a young girl's fantasy. It was being able to tame the recluse, to have someone so reserved open up, to have someone so strong need me. It was silly, and it wasn't real.

But what I really want… what I've always wanted is to fall in love with someone who is everything thing that you are, Duo. Strong, outgoing, loving, reliable, funny, sexy… my best friend. I want to fall in love with my best friend and get married and have babies and grow old together and have grandchildren…"

I was sobbing now, and I couldn't speak for a minute. I took a few hiccupped breaths, and looked at Duo through my thick curtain of tears.

"I'm so sorry…" I cried. "I never meant to hurt you. And I was going to tell you everything that night, but it all fell apart. And then you left. You just disappeared and I couldn't find you, and every day was like hell for me without you. Every day I replayed the memory of us in my head, and every day it ended the same, and every day I fell apart…"

He was silent for a moment, his expression unreadable, probably because I was too busy bawling. Finally he asked, "Did you really want all those things? The marriage, the kids, the best friend?"

"For fuck's sake, YES Duo!" I nearly shouted. "Why else would I spend all of my money to chase you down in SPACE with nothing more than a change of clothes and zero sleep?" More sobs fell from me, and I couldn't stop them anymore.

The next thing I knew, I was pulled into Duo's arms, and he was kissing me as I sobbed into his warm mouth. His kisses moved from my tear stained lips to my forehead, my eyelids, my cheek, my ear… and then he was hugging me against him while I sobbed into his shoulder, releasing the months of pain that only he could soothe. He stroked my hair as I cried.

"Shhh, shh…" he whispered. "It's okay…"

"You c-can't ever do that to me again…" I cried. "I won't be able to handle it…"

"I know, I know…" he replied. "Oh God, Lynn, I'm so sorry… I would have waited for as long as you needed if you asked me to…"

"Why?" I asked, still keeping myself buried into his shoulder.

"Because you're worth it." He whispered.

"Even after all this?" I asked.

"Especially after all this." He replied. He pulled me away a little so he could look into my eyes. "You came after me this time. It took a while, but it happened. You wouldn't have done it if you weren't certain. I know because I went after you once."

"Well you're worth it." I laughed, as my tears finally started to slow.

"Now I know I am…" he smiled. "Which leads me to my next question…"

I looked at him questioningly. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out a ring. Not just any ring… THE ring. The air left me, and suddenly I felt like the world was spinning.

"Will you marry me?" he asked grinning.

I laughed despite myself. "Have you carried this around all this time?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm a hopeless romantic at heart… I figured if you ever did find me, it'd be because you want what I want, and you know I'm a risk taker."

I took the ring from his fingers. "Duo, I… wow…" I whispered.

"It doesn't have to actually happen for a long while… I know there are probably a lot of things we'd want to get situated before we'd take the plunge…" he reassured me. "But I want to ask you now. This is what I want Lynn, and I only want us to be together if we're both certain, if we're both committed to making this work. Of course you can always change your mind-"

I placed my finger over his lips, silencing his rambling. I wanted nothing more than to put it on and say yes, but I hesitated and looked him in the eye first. He smiled at me, a reassuring smile, a promising smile. I smiled back, and slipped the ring on. "Yes." I replied.

His face lit up like it was Christmas. "Oh my God, I love you!" he exclaimed. "Really?"

I laughed and nodded, and he scooped me up off my feet in a big hug, spinning me around.

As he set me down, I reeled on my feet for moment. "People are going think we're nuts…"

"We probably are…" he laughed. "I guess that just means we'll have nutty kids."

I smiled a huge, warm, happy smile. "I look forward to that when it happens. Once, you know… everything else gets settled for us. Like, I have a career that pays more than minimum wage, and stuff. And we have a house. And all the other stuff."

He laughed at me, and pulled me to him again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

-END-

AN: Wow! I wasn't expecting THAT ending! I swear the characters just insisted on it!

So, once again, my sincerest apologies for taking forever on getting this out. I've known for forever what this epilogue would be about, but I had the hardest time trying to write it for two major reasons. First off, I've lost my Gundam Wing spark (and anime in general, honestly…). Secondly, I've been in an incredibly successful, wonderful relationship, which then makes writing conflicts very difficult, which, honestly, was the majority of this epilogue, all sticky and uncomfortable. Sooo yeah.

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed it. Thank you so much for your support, it has kept me going for so long, even through the long gaps (years) of not posting anything. I appreciate every review and note I've gotten to kick me in the butt to get this out, and here it is, thanks to all of you. Wishing you all the best!


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